Beginning to Crack :(

Hi my name is Paula in December I had my first ever mamogram.  I was 37 at the time and had a family history so I went for early screening.  My Mamo was clear - 3 weeks later in January I found a lump in my breast, about the size of a golf ball.  I immediately went to my ob/gyn and she said it was probably an infection and put me on an antibiotic.  She said it couldn't be cancer, I had a clean mamo and cancer that size would take years to grow.  Well ten days later and there was no change so I went for a biopsy.  Next day I was told I had cancer.  10 days later I had port surgery and went for my first chemo treatment on the same day.  I was scared and didn't want to waste anymore time.  I had three treatments (1 every 3 weeks) and then scheduled my mastecomy with reconstruction.  The cancer had responded to the chemo but during the weeks I was off in preparation for surgery, the cancer began to rapidly grow again.  Here is an excerpt from my pathology: Extensive intraductal comedo and infiltrating high grade ductal carcinoma with extensive lymphovascular invasion, Bloom-Richardson Grade 3 + 3 + 3 = 9/10.  Carcinoma involves all four quadrants of the breast and extends to the inferior margin.  It invades the nipple which is retracted, and is also found in the lymphatics of the skin.  Tumor emboli are found in lymphatic vessels of the axillary fat, in two lymph nodes and many small lymphoid nodules.  3 weeks after surgery I went back to my oncologist and he sent me for radiation.  I was going to my consulations and set up when I found a lump on my neck.  I went back to my oncologist.  Same week I started herceptin and the radiation doctor started treating me before my setup was complete.  That brings me to this past week.  I have alot of support from my family but I need to speak with or get positive feedback from someone who has gone through this.  I don't want to upset my family....I have been this strong woman for 5 months now and I am beginning to crack.  I am not giving up but I am getting scared.  And having this lump on my neck is not helping.