Shoop, Shoop!

Marin,

Told you the wait was worth it.....

Nope....the one that Cher sings (and some Motown group, I think):

Shoop, Shoop

Does he love me I wanna know
How can I tell if he loves me so
Is it in his eyes?
Oh no you'll be deceived
Is it in his sighs?
Oh no he'll make believe
If you wanna know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is

Or is it in his face?
Oh no it's just his charms
In his warm embrace?
Oh no that's just his arms
If you wanna know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Woah It's in his kiss
That's where it is

Woah hug him and squeeze him tight
Find out what you want to know
If it's love if it really is
It's there in his kiss
How 'bout the way he acts?
Oh no that's not the way
and your not listen to all Isaid

If you wanna know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Woah It's in his kiss
That's where it is
REPEAT

Oh yeah it's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh it's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh it's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh oh it's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh ohh it's in his... kiss
That's where it is....

Yeah

~Marin

Ya gotta love the "wisdom" of the pop songs, huh? Here's yet another lesson I'm trying to learn....

You Can't Hurry Love

I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hangin' on
When I feel my strength, yeah
It's almost gone
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

How long must I wait
How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart
Heart to break?

No I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
These precious words keeps me hangin' on
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

Gotta wait!

No, love, love, don't come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
To hold me tight
I keep waiting
I keep on waiting
But it ain't easy
It ain't easy
But mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

I'm listenin', Miz Ross!

~Marin

OK, y'all, at the risk of becoming seriously annoying, I'm offering yet another song's lyrics in order to illustrate my new dilemna:

Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind
~ Lovin' Spoonful
{Refrain 1}
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
{Refrain 2}
Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide
Sometimes there's one with big blue eyes, cute as a bunny
With hair down to here, and plenty of money
And just when you think she's that one in the world
You heart gets stolen by some mousey little girl
And then you know you'd better make up your mind...
{Refrain 1}
Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her
And then you get distracted by her older sister
When in walks her father and takes you a line
And says, "You better go home,
son, and make up your mind"
And then you bet you'd better finally decide...

Yeah, so I made dinner for P. last night and we had a totally fabulous time. I got to know so much more about him and enjoyed a much longer session of awesome kissing. HOWEVER, over the course of the evening, it became apparent that he was in a romantic and sexual relationship with this Russian babe he visited. Crap. Since I was experiencing some conflicting emotions during the kissing thing, I sorta broke it up and explained that I have alot of difficulty knowing how and when to draw the line with sexual activity, but that I do not want a sexual relationship with someone until I'm sure that we are entering into a committed, exclusive one. That's what triggered the full story and it seems that this chick doesn't like the idea that he is seeing me (he says he's told her all about me), but is open to including another woman in their relationship (as in a threesome, y'all   )!!!! WTF????!! OK, so that is NOT gonna happen, of course, and not just because she lives 6,000 miles away. Geez. Fortunately, P. is not looking for a threesome, necessarily, but also doesn't seem inclined to break off his relationship with this babushka. He seems to be operating along the lines of "let's wait and see how this progresses" and has invited me to now met his crew, his gang, his homies ( agroup of 3 men and 1 woman with whom he frequently socializes and bikes with), presumably to see how I fit in and what they think of me.

So I've thought all morning about this, girls, and tried to get at my true values on the issue of exclusivity and my gut feelings about what I want in a relationship and, specifically, what I will want in a relationship with P. I tried to push out the societal influences that I'm trying to shed and get right down to what I want for me in order to be able to grow....no- flourish....in this relationship. And I keep coming back to this: we will need to both commit to being as fully "in" a relationship with one another and, for me, that means that it must be exclusive. Splitting one's loyalties, in my opinion, detracts from the effort to growing our relationship and I can't and won't deal with that. Of course, we have only been dating for a month here, so I can't ask P. to drop his Moscow mistress....but my chastity belt will remain locked until he does.

What do you all think about this? If you're being as open-minded as possible and trying to be fair and avoid game-playing and manipulation, how would sharing your man with a woman he will not likely see again for a long time (but with whom he speaks on webcam almost daily) sit with you, at least in the beginning of your relationship?

~Marin