New to group, but not new to BC :(

Hi ladies!  I was lucky enough to stumble upon this website when I needed it the most (during another sleepless night).  I was originally dx in Aug 05 and had a right mastectomy, 12 weeks of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation.  My oncologist (at the time) gave me a script for tamoxifen and basically made it sound like it did not matter one way or the other if I took it.  He said it would only prevent recurrence by 20%.  After researching it, I decided not to take it basically because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I was only 32 at the time and felt like I was 72 during that time period.  NOW I wish I had taken it.  About 7 or 8 months ago, I noticed a few little lumps on my reconstructed breast, but I needed a replacement implant because the radiation had hardened mine.  SO, being the procrastinater that I am, I put it off until I had a rock hard breast with lumps and an ulcer (I know how horrible that is, but I have a huge fear of the unknown I guess).  I finally went to my plastic surgeon because I had convinced myself that my implant had burst.  She immediately sent me to my breast surgeon who immediately sent me to a new oncologist.  I am in a phase III study receiving Avastin/Taxol 3 weeks on, 1 week off.  I have mets to the bones in my hips, lower back and pelvic area.  I also have mets to my right lung.  They also found a large node in my left axilla.  The first go around, the CA was in my  lymph nodes under the right arm.  I had 22/30 + nodes.  I know that I did this to myself.  I am a nurse and I know better.  Thank goodness for my wonderful family and girlfriend who never once said, "I told you so".  I started my second round of chemo on May 1st.  I had my week off last week and felt worse that week than I did the weeks that I was doing the chemo.  I figured that was because of the steroids.  Anyway, I happened to find this wonderful website and appreciate you ladies so much for being so honest and telling your stories.  I really relate with most of you.  It helps a lot.  My big problem right now is that my hair is falling out.  It was tramatic when I lost my hair the 1st time and I was just starting to like the way I looked and now I am losing it again, big time.  It is to the point where I need to just get rid of it because there is hair everywhere and I hate that.  I just can't bring myself to do it though.  It is even more tramatic to me this time.  I know it seems shallow, but I hated being bald last time and my oncologist said he doesn't know how long I will have to do chemo so I could be bald even longer this time.  Anyway, a HUGE thank you to you brave women for letting me know that other people do this 2 or 3 times, so I can too.  You are all in my prayers.

Ali

Hello Ladies!

I had chemo and an appt with the doc today.  He was so pleased with the way my breast looks, the tumor are still there of course, but are much smaller...thank goodness.  He also told me that the CA is in my both of my femurs, which I did not know...I was pleased with his being pleased though.  I did shave my head...it's just hair right?   

We are having a hard time getting my pain meds right though and that kind of sucks because the insurance won't keep paying for changes every week.  I just had to pay cash for a new script because they would not pay for it.  Luckily, it wasn't more than I had, but it could have been then I would have been out of luck.  Anyone else have this kind of problem, with getting it just right?  I'm hoping this combo works to at least take it down to a dull ache and make it tolerable. 

Thank you all so much for the nice responses.  I wish I had known about this site the first time around when I was so horribly sick.  You are all in my prayers.

Ali