HUGS4HARLEY!!!!!!!

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

HUGS4HARLEY!!!!!!!

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

Harley ~

Michie pointed out to me and gave me an idea....I just read your post...I am so sorry you are going through so much and I wanted to let you know, that in each passing day you will see a brighter tomorrow. Know that so many sisters have been in the same situation as you have and can so relate with what you are enduring. You are forever changed and you will have to be patient with yourself ...you have walked a long journey but you haven't walked it alone we are with you holding your hands and remember...setting you free to enjoy those precious times that God has given to each of us! Remember Harley, we will always be within reach.

Harley, here is to you...(((HUGS))), laughter ( BW's ), and here is to HOPE and STRENGTH...along your path of healing

Much LUV

michie56 · May 2008

Ditto to what Luv said!!

Hey Luv...don't squeeze her so hard..we don't want those new nips fallin off!!! Tongue out

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

***Cheer up Harley you will soon have headlights that will blind someone! LUCKY ***

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

HUGS4HARLEY !!!!

AlaskaDeb · May 2008

Here is my

(((((((HUG)))))))

wrapped in a laugh and a prayer...

Be well Harley...

Deb C

Anonymous · May 2008

We love you Harley. Come out and play with us whenever you feel up to it. Until then - know we are right there with ya.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ip1zsUIosoA

Nicki

He who throw dirt is losing ground.

TenderIsOurMight · May 2008

Hug to you Harley!

Tender

Anonymous · May 2008

Hey Harley: I found another one of my favorite songs. This is for you.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ck-h0oG2msA

Nicki

Anonymous · May 2008

Hugs and smootches, my dear! Thinking of you...

Mena · May 2008

Hang in there. It's all gonna be OK...Mena...xo

SLH · May 2008

Hugging you, Harley!

You've been through so much. You really need a break from all things Cancer, and so do the rest of us! Go have a brilliant adventure this summer, and spend your money and time on living life. Get your happy back!

sally

SLH · May 2008

This is a song for all of us by the John Butler Trio:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79cG_F1GxfI&feature=related

"All the time while you’re looking away
There are things you can do man
There’s things you can say
To the the ones you’re with
With whom you’re spending your day
Get your gaze off tomorrow
And let come what may

Because you could be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What could be better than now
Life’s not about what’s better than
You can be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What could be better than now
Life’s not about what’s better

All I know is sometimes things can be hard
But you should know by now
They come and they go
So why, oh why
Do I look to the other side
'Cos I know the grass is greener but
Just as hard to mow."

kes · May 2008

Harley,

Hugs to you and take time for yourself. You will feel better. You need time to heal. We will miss you.

Kerry

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

Sit and RELAX !

You need to STRETCH

Make sure you LAUGH

BELIEVE in yourself!

Go ahead and DANCE!

Take a nice DRIVE

There will be DIFFICULT times

Sending you HUGS

For a BRIGHTER day......

((((((HUGS4HARLEY)))))

catbert4209 · May 2008

Harley--I'll add my hugs, too, as well as warm and healing thoughts and prayers!

(((((Harley)))))

Cat

candie1971 · May 2008

Harley, hugs and prayers heading your way.

Anonymous · May 2008

Harley: Im thinking about you this morning and sending a special hug your way. Also missing you.

summer.png picture by chemosabi1

Nicki

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

....always with you

Harley44 · May 2008

Just checking in, like I promised. I am STILL feeling very upset. I think I am mostly ANGRY, and I guess it's because of all I've lost, and as lionessdoe said in that other message thread, I really don't know who I am anymore, and that is the saddest feeling. I am sad, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore.

I went to my ps on Wed, and he gave me a Rx for Effexor, but he wrote the wrong dose. I had been given a Rx from my onc's office for 150 mg, but I still only took 75 mg. I tried to tell them it was wrong, but the nurse is stupid, and just didn't get it. SO today I took the Rx to CVS, and asked the pharmacist if she would please call my ps and tell him that I can't take that high dose, but tell him to please change it to 75 mg. I still am not sure if I want to take Effexor again, since I had so much trouble when I stopped taking it 3 months ago. I had an emotional meltdown driving home from Wal-Mart, and when I got home, I parked the car in the driveway, and ran to my neighbors house, and cried in her arms.

My dh thinks I should just 'snap out of it'. It's not that easy. I also think that a big part of this, is that new job I started two weeks ago, because I really don't like it, but I need the money, so maybe I am resenting going back to work TOO soon... I was really not ready, and maybe I never will be.

Also, when I think about YEARS of taking Tamoxifen or an AI, and all the horrible se's I am having from them, and the HOT FLASHES, I think that there should be more to life than this...
I guess I am also feeling a little like Tony on the Sopranos, when he had that brush with death, and he went to see his shrink. He told her that since his episode, "life is a gift.... but why does it always have to be a pair of socks?" It has to get better... There has to be something better than this...

Well, I know that you asked me to post, to let you know that I'm ok. I guess I'm still not ok. But I have read some posts which say that it never really gets any better than this, and we just have to go on anyway.

Sorry for being so down... I guess this is why I said that I was gonna take a break, and stop posting here. I'm such a downer!!

Harley

smithlme · May 2008

Awwww Harley. You're not a downer. You've been through a crappy time and it's difficult to pick up the pieces, pretend it didn't happen and move forward. Our lives are changed forever and who knows what direction to go? I wish there was a magic pill, a special diet or great exercise to make my body quit hurting. I wish there was a special lotion or make up to hide all the scars on my chest and abdomen. I wish I could make a wish and have my old life, my old self back. If I could snap out of it, I'd be snapping.

Be kind to yourself. Your body and spirit need some TLC. I'm sending you a squishy hug and a shoulder to lean on...

Linda

Anonymous · May 2008

Harley: So good to see a post from you. I really think that you are feeling like alot of us feel or have felt. Sometimes that depression just bites us in the butt. I take Celexa. It has helped me tremendously so Im hoping the effexor works the same for you. Husbands? What can I say. You dont just snap out of this journey! Thats one of the biggest reasons I come here. Cause no one else really understands how I feel inside. Sending bigs hugs to you and know that we are here for you.

bighugssss.gif I love big hugs! image by judy_judy_2008

Nicki

WellWater · May 2008

Harley: You are NOT a downer - we are here because we need to "talk" to someone who understands what we're going through and when you are slogging thru the mud, you need a helping hand. Please don't ever feel that you are depressing someone on this site.

I am sending a huge hug and hope that you'll stop by often and keep us posted.

((((((((((((((((((Harley)))))))))))))))))

Love Trina

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

Harley ~

I am glad you read lionessdoe's thread...she puts words down to so describe what we are both feeling and living it. Yet, I didn't want it to put you in a "downer"...after Doe's thread she said, she felt some sort of relief just writing it all down...her feelings you can do this at home or here...were all here for you! She is doing much much better! I think once you come to realization that you won't be the same...but reach way down inside and accept who you are with open arms. Be gentle with yourself Harley...you went through hell and back...don't continue the hell here on earth.

As far as your job...yes, it can be a disappointment especially when you don't have any interest (though MANY don't anyway thats why its a JOB) but remember think of it as...this is temporary...not forever no one ever said you had to be there forever...so think of it as a stepping stone like your treatments. You have done everything in your power to make certain that this ugly beast is gone and gone for good....you went through a battle there are bound to be scars.

I have been taking long walks at night...sometimes its a challenge to just do it..but its my "therapy" do something good for you Harley treat yourself to something.

As far as your dh...no one can relate to what your feeling...unless your treading through these waters yourself you can't judge. I am sure he is trying to be your rock when you are feeling weak...Harley, you have sense a sense of humor about you, I have read your helpful advice you have this spirit about you...you will find yourself again...you have fought way more rounds than I ....let time heal you emotionally, physically & spiritually!

We are all with you Harley...there are so many people who can relate with what you are going through...I pray for a brighter day....for a brighter future.

((HUGS4HARLEY))

Much LUV,

Laurie

NaughtybyNature · May 2008

Hey Harley:

Thinking of you.

("Got" my funnies?!)

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

BE SELFISH FOR A CHANGE !

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

PRESCRIPTION: Take time to laugh each day ~

smithlme · May 2008

Laurie,

I love the Cabbage Brat!

What we all should understand is that after going through a Cancer diagnosis and treatment we suffer from PTSD. We have been through a battle for our very lives and have the scars to prove it. How do we turn that off? We look in the mirror and see the visible scars. If we look closely we see we have no eye lashes or eye brows. We have sore skin from radiation. We are bald. We've gained/lost weight. We have lasting SE's from chemo. We wear sleeves and gloves for Lymphedema. We have to put up with all the know-it-all, well wishers who don't have a clue what we're going through. When treatment ends and we're thrust back into the "normal" world is it any wonder we're shell shocked? Our world has changed, forever. There's no how-to book, no road map or magic words that can make it all better. Our journey is ours, but the people here who are willing to throw out that tender thread of friendship can make it more bearable, even on the toughest days. The support and love I have seen offered to the regulars as well as the newbies touches my heart profoundly.

Harley,

You have been a rock to so many here, me included. Now it is our time to be here for you. We can take what you dish out so be yourself and share whatever you need to. Like the song says, "Life's a journey, not a destination." May you soon find your days of peace within, on this journey...

Linda

lynne4 · May 2008

Hugs to you Harley. Miss ya.

Lynne

Harley44 · May 2008

Thanks ya'll!

I made it through the day without too much trouble, but I still think I am not really cut out for the retail world. Had a real Witch with a capital B, if you know what I mean, for a customer today. but, I'm not on the b*tch thread, so I'll try to restrain myself.

I have been ANGRY alot, and I am not sure where all this anger comes from... angry that bc sucked the joy out of my life, maybe?

My hair... I look like BOZO, and all growth seems to be at a standstill. But, the newest development... my 'chemo curl' seems to be almost gone. I really liked that curl, and I'll look really hideous if it goes straight again.

I didn't go to CVS today, and I'm not sure if I want to go back on Effexor, since it didn't help with the insomnia. I know I can't take the withdrawal se's again, when I have to stop taking it. My next onc appt. isn't til 7/23, and I don't know if I can last that long, if I'm feeling like I was yesterday.

I just know that I can't stand the thought of two or three more years of depression, hot flashes and insomnia!

Thanks Luv, for starting this thread! It means so much to me to have friends like you! Thanks for your wonderful advice! You are such a nice person and a really good friend!

Thanks, lynne! You are so sweet!

Linda, you have been through so much in the last year, you are amazing, how you got through surgery again, I don't know.

Lilia,

Yes, I got your funny emails! Thanks!

Trina,

Thanks so much for the kind words! I see how positive everyone else is, and it makes me want to go hide under the bed, with my cat, Spike. I don't think I can ever go 'back to normal' again. I don't know how you do it every day...

I think I'm getting there...it will take time for me to heal, but I think I'm on the right path now. I guess it's true that it's always darkest before the dawn. Maybe too, Luv, it really does help to 'write it down', and get those feelings out, so I can start to heal.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Hugs

Harley

LUVmy2girlZ · May 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBZqp98836I&feature=related

Where is the moment you needed most ? ((HUGS))

Harley,

That my dear is the step in the RIGHT direction !!!

Much LUV

HUGS4HARLEY!!!!!!!

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