Who's the youngest?

Why do you think she doesn't realize the opportunity she has?

If you're talking about this 21 year old talking about the importance of early detection, well, that's silly.  B/C early detection doesn't really apply when you're in your 20's.  We don't get mammos.  Maybe half of the girls out there in their 20's know how to do a BSE, and even when they feel something, more than half of them are dismissed by doctors, and insurance won't cover ultrasounds and MRI's.

I think it's hard to be thrust in the spotlight when you're newly diagnosed.  I began speaking in public after my first year out from dx.  Your perspective changes so much throughout the course of that first year.

Like this young girl, I was so angry when I was dx at 26.  I was pissed, and thought NO ONE understood what I was feeling.  That I didn't care about some 50 year old woman that had the chance to get married and have babies, and have breasts and hair at a crucial time in her life.

I was so angry.

And then, it went away.  B/c I learned that everyone walks this journey, and no matter where you are at in life, we all have to overcome incredible obstacles to get through cancer.

I bet the media is eating up this girl, b/c of her age.  That truly disgusts me.

I hope she finds comfort soon.  I know for me, before I found the young survivors coaltion I felt all alone.  And when I went to my first YSC conference, it was an awe inspiring experience.  To be surrounded by 1000 other young girls my age, all with cancer- I just felt so normal-- as wacky as that sounds.

I wish this girl all the best, and I hope she does find somone to connect with through her journey.

im 18 years old and a mother of 1 who is 35 weeks pregnant. i dont no as of yet if i have breast cancer. biopsy on the 20th. would like to here from others in a situaton like mine.

Well I was diagnoised at 25. It's hard. I felt like and still feel like a lab rat. Most test have been done on women post menopausal over 40. The doctors sound like they are guessing becasue a womans body in her early 20's is different at 40. But to answer your question from my point of view most woman at 40 have lived life to a certain degree as a WOMAN. At 21 your just beginning....and to be sidetracked and watch your friends move on to get married, have babies, be sexy (and you can still be sexy but it's hard) etc.. I dont mind talkin about it because it spreads awareness that you can be under 40 young as she is 21 and get breast cancer.

I was diagnosed when I was 22, that was 3 years ago, it was a shock to me and my family, since bc is very unlikely when you are young. BUt so far, God is good, I am now married, , but still we are worried on some complications of bc like ovarian cysts or something. But still there's hope .

Yes Beth I remember really well your angry comments about how dare some 40 and 50 year old go on about how hard breast cancer is when you were never going to breast feed.  At the time I found your remarks really upsetting at my grand old age of 36.  In fact I have never been able to forget that post, I wish I could. I guess I was envious of those who had the luxury of being selfish and thinking only of themselves.  I felt these people didn't understand what it was like to have two little four year old hearts depending on you.  The thought of dying and leaving your children behind IMHO is the worst fear imaginable.  I actually wished I hadn't had children so they wouldn't have to suffer.

By the way I have recently turned 40 and I have to admit it did cross my mind "Well I guess it doesn't matter if the cancer comes back now I am old enough to have it".  However I don't plan on going down that path again I have two eight year olds to raise.

Also any suggestion that a woman in her 30s and 40s doesn't care about being sexy is riduculous.

I don't know what it is like to be 50 and 60 and have breast cancer.  However I am aware that these ladies know what it is like to be my age.  You don't forget.  My Mum died of cancer last year at the age of 64.  She should have had another 20 years.  Her death was a tragedy.

We all cope in our own ways. I hope that young girl finds someone to talk to.  Maybe someone her age who as a cancer other than breast cancer.  Lots of young people get other cancers.

Take care,

Sandy

i was 28 when i found out. in march 2008 i had both my breast removed. i had dcis on both sides.

i live in northern new york.  in the begining it was hard to talk about, i felt dirty like it was something i did to myself.

i am 30 now and going under recontrion. its so important to talk about it, when shes ready, she will feel so much  better! i know i did.

Yes... it's called www.planetcancer.org

it's an awesome web site for teens and young adults with cancer.

I think if this had happened to me at 26 rather than 36 I would have had very similar feelings.  Although I was married at 23 after meeting my husband at 18. 

This conversation is very helpful.  It is good to try to understand other people's journeys. Obviously my journey is most poignant to me because I am the one who is living it, but I am aware that many others walk this path.

I actually think a lot about the ladies who worry about not being able to have children after breast cancer and try to put myself in their place.  It is hard for me to do because I have children and I decided not to have the much wanted third child because of the fear of not being there to raise him or her.  As I said I also wished I hadn't had my children when first diagnosed because I didn't want them to suffer.  However if I was childless I think I would have felt exactly the same way as many other young ladies do.  The worry and the yearning must be so difficult.  Empathy is important.

Cancer is definitely a learning experience but quite frankly I have had enough of the lesson.  In the past four years I have been through a mastectomy, chemo, a second serious life-limiting illness and 11 months ago I lost my mother to cancer.  I am totally over it. 

Although I would say I am not really holding on to a lot of anger.  I wasn't really very angry in the first place, just frightened.  That post did upset me but it was a long time ago and I am really pleased to have talked to you about it now.

Take care Beth,

Sandy

I was dxed at 31 with stage 2b er+/pr- her2-. no real family history and did the brac-2 test and didn't have the gene. I am now 34 with stage iv breast cancer but holding no strong.  This diease really sucks...... Its a real shame that the ages are getting younger and younger and no one really talks about change in the way that early dection is done. Even though Mamo's aren't for us younger women there is a Breast MRi machine that can detect in young dense breasts.  The government should make it mandatory every few years after 18 that women should have it done and make the insurance companies mandated to have these tests done.  Early detection is one of intergral parts in saving lives. Cure is key.

Roxanne

Sandy, hugs to you about your mom. My Stage IV bc mom just died in February. We were on active treatment together for the past year--kept saying we really should've signed up for spa treatments instead. Cancer also took my dad, my father-in-law, my grandfather and my uncle/godfather. It's getting really wearisome, and like you, I try not to think about it too much.

I am 24 years old (25 on 6/21) and I was just diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday.  I had just had a lumpectomy on 5/23 but was assured it was just tissue that would be benign so didn't even think of the possibility that it was cancer even though there is a lot of breast cancer on my father's side.  The part that upsets me the most is not that I have cancer but I have been told my whole life (by doctors) that the family history did not mean much since it was on my father's side.

While we are waiting on all of the test results I went and meet with a fertility specialist today.  We discussed freezing one of my ovaries and/or embryos. I was wondering if any of you ladies have seen a fertility specialist. It was one of the first things my oncologist suggested to me. We are waiting on immediate surgery or treatment because they did a genetic test on me to see if I have the "cancer gene". If I have the gene then I will have a total mastectomy instead of another lumpectomy.

Hi Jenny-

I was dx at nine months ago at age 27. My family history of breast cancer also came from my dads side.

I went to a fertility specialist after being dx and it really helped clear up some questions. I ended up doing chemo first (then bilateral mastectomies) so we were able to squeeze in one quick round of egg harvesting. Like Beth said-depending on your current relationship status might influence your decisions and options. Also, your receptor status (estrogen and progesterone) might play a factor as well. It has been my experience that different doctors (oncologists and fertility specialists) can have differing opinions on fertility if your cancer is estrogen/progesterone related.

But most of all, I wanted to tell you that since joining this cancer club I have met some really inspiring women. I have met several that did not have kids and went on to have kids after cancer. So, don't lose hope! Come here often and you will receive lots of support to get you through this upcoming rollercoaster.

Natalie

P.S. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more !

Heather, have you gotten the results of the genetic testing yet?  I would not make a decision about a prophylactic mastectomy until getting those results.  I had a lumpectomy first (a few weeks after diagnosis) and then found out that I was BRCA negative (phew).  It turns out that I still need to have a mastectomy because after two surgeries they could not get clean margins, but I am just going to have a unilateral since the risk of bc on the other side is relatively small (but higher for women who are younger at the first bc diagnosis).  Since I am very large-breasted (DDD cup) I decided to get a reduction on the other side at the same time as my mastectomy, and they will look at the tissue they remove from that side.  I'm hoping it will be totally clear and then I'll be more confident in my decision not to remove that breast. 

 You should definitely look into options for reconstruction if you do decide to have the mast.  As a relatively young person (I'm 41) I decided that I want to live the other half of my life with a breast that feels as natural as possible, so after I heal from radiation I am going to have a DIEP flap reconstruction.  It's a very personal decision but it's worth exploring all the options.

My cousin sent me that book and I've just started it.  Thanks for the recommendation, I'll have to keep reading!

Good luck and HUGS to you!

Lauren