MOJO Without Matrimony!

I ladies I'm the one looking for a toy and I had a friend send me this link...

http://www.conezone.info/about_cone/using_cone.asp

Have any of you heard of this one...some of the reveiws sounded good : )

so many chooses out there ; )

(((Rose)))

I've been off the boards for a few days and just tonight read this. As the others have stated, better to find out his 'true' self now rather than later. You have a lot top offer so don't sell yourself short.

As much as I really want to be in a relationship I am SO jaded that I only date younger men, men who have (seemingly) less issues than those my age, and those who are only looking for fun. I don't trust men and feel a lot better about them when I'm the one who's in control of th situation. There's always someone out there to play with!

Rose - oh, hon I am so very sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. The betrayal of your hopes and beliefs about this guy is just unconscionable. But then, apparently he is a person of few scruples. No wonder he cannot 'get any' and must resort to portraying himself falsely at a distance. Thank the good Lord for the effects of alcohol in allowing you to discover his true nature before you got even further invested in this relationship. I know that does little to ease the pain you are feeling now, but at least you can lick your wounds in your own home, not in a battered women's shelter, far away from all that is familiar and comforting to you. And we, your sisters, are here for you.

As much as this on-line dating thing can be fun, it can also SUCK, as Rose's experience illustrates. When one can learn a potential mate's nature slowly and through genuine interaction - see how he treats his momma, meet his friends, learn his work habits. . . all of these are telling character traits that you cannot ever know through email, IM'ing or even hours on the phone followed by romantic dinners and hot sex.

I don't want to sound like a stick in the mud or a prude  but I hate to see my sisters suffer with men who are not worth their attention. Any man I had not even met who suggested the pencil test to me would get a response suggesting a tape measure, his cock and 9" and then never hear from me again. I love sex, I love sex-play, I love sex-talk - but I also need respect from a man before he becomes my partner. For that matter, I need to respect him, too.

Yes, even my boy-toy who is more than a decade younger than I and with whom I have no real relationship - we've been seeing each other for years and can talk for hours before hopping into the sack. I care about what he says, he hears me out. There's trust there.

My own best friend met her husband through a Christian dating site, so I know there are thousands of happy endings. I also know from personal experience that some men will fly 3000 miles for a chance to get laid (it is amazing, isn't it?!?).

I just want us to be careful out there.

And remember Marin, you were going to take this one s l o w 

Then be bad.

Lisa

I forgot we had promised pics. I don't have anything super current, so I just added a myspace link to my signature where there's a  pre-bc (ironically enough, I had just gotten my hair cut "short" and had been crying about it for a month hmmmm lol) some a couple months old with new hair and some right after rads with my wig.

Right now I'm in between crew-cut and grown-out, so it's just not very interesting. Although I will say I went from stick straight to almost 'fro-ish. It's quite disconcerting when I look in the mirror, but also kinda fun.

PS...myspace is kind of boring, as I'm a techno-tard. lol

Oh you guys I'm soooo sorry! LMAO! That was totally a joke because seven is my favorite number and I didn't want to put that I'm 45. Sorry for the confusion. I didn't think about people looking at it who didn't know me.   I feel so silly now!

Jule, you're on the right page. That's my daughter and myself at a luau.  There should be a place to click on it says "view my pics" underneath that picture. But maybe you have to sign in (basically just give your email and a password I think, you don't need to do your own page).

I hope you can find something fun to do this weekend Jaybird.

Thanks everyone for your comments and such. Don't kick me (yet), but I've sort of taken him back. But he's on probation. I don't know why I do this!

He said (we were on IM, as usual),

"I was way too rough on you, and I'm really sorry.  was in a terrible, toxic mood that evening. I have an inferiority complex, it got out. There it is. To say what I did was dead wrong. I'm sorry. I'm hard on my people and I'm hard on myself. I didn't come across well, add some scotch, and I was a real a$shole. I'm ashamed, [WR]. I'm not like that. I hope that you look at me more than one night of particular nastiness and... what's the word...narcissism. I needed some love and superiority, and I took it out on you, the wrong choice...Needed to feel good, after the 8 years in college and making 1300 a month."

There was more, but that was the gist of it. He did admit some things I had surmised and it helps to know.

Will I go to Ohio? That depends on where I get a job for Fall. But I am running out of options. If I don't get a job, Ohio might be my best choice.  

Am I terribly foolish, or just in love? I'm still looking forward to getting my hands on him.  

Thanks, Marin. I can tell you see what's happening, having been there; I'm glad you don't condemn me for it as much as I've even questioned my own sanity about this!

Yeah, I fell for the apology and his groveling and whatnot. Sad thing is, this is the second time. So if it's three strikes, you're out, he might have one last chance to be a jerk before I drop him completely. If it's going to happen, I hope it does before I leave here and before we meet IRL. I don't want to get concrete proof the hard way.

I feel like the  moth to the flame. I wish I knew why I keep doing this. 

Yes, Jaybird, I need to be more picky. I did tell him that if he continues with this behavior, I'm out of here.

Not sure why I care so much about this guy. I want to see whether this is permanent "leopard spots" or if he's working out his issues. He has been talking more about how he's seeing things about himself that need work. We shall see... sometimes when people really do love but make mistakes and want to change, (he's young so there's room for growth), they change. He has a few weeks to show me what his true colors are like. If the unemployment comes through, my last chemo is June 24. I won't leave here before (probably) mid-July, depending on how I feel.

If he returns to the old behavior, I drop him.  

A friend of mine said maybe we just need to take our relationship for a real-life test drive before we will know at all whether it will work. It is easier to say nasty things to someone over Messenger, I would think, than to someone who's in the same room with you and is obviously "real." And if it doesn't work, then I re-pack the car and get the heck out of there. 

I should add that I honestly don't think he would physically hurt me. I've been giving this a lot of thought, and took a hard look at it. He took a shot at a burglar in his apartment last year -- didn't even come close to hitting him -- and agonized about it for a month. I think he's all mouth, and perhaps we can cure that, I'm not sure. ;-)