wife is angry with me for wanting to be involved

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raysue
raysue Member Posts: 10
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
wife is angry with me for wanting to be involved
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  • raysue
    raysue Member Posts: 10
    edited May 2008

    sue,my wife, is diagnosed with breast cancer and believes that i dont understand how she feels and her fears, today she got angry with me for asking important questions that we needed to know from the doctor, what do i do ?? 

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  • shokk
    shokk Member Posts: 1,763
    edited May 2008


    Ray its because men and women think differently........more than likely you are bottom lining with the doctor............what are her changes, will treatment work, you may want statistics.......and Ray the game your wife has just enter there is no diffident goal line.......it's constantly being moved...........maybe you could meet with the doctor alone............not sure where your wife is in the process.......has she been staged?.......has she had her scans to tell if the cancer is just located in the breast or has already spread?........the best thing you can do is hold her hand, try and not get angry, be nice to the nurses and doctors.......if you don't understand something.......just say please I don't understand what you are doing could you please explain it do me............in other words just ask for directions..........your wife is standing with no gravity.........she is going to feel completely out of control and have no sense of what is up or what is down............and remember you cannot fix this.........unless you are a bc doctor you are going to have to trust the doctors and do your best to listen to what they are telling you..........good luck..........Shokk

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  • gracejon
    gracejon Member Posts: 972
    edited May 2008

    I always take the path of "Leave me alone to figure this out myself.  My husband although he asks intelligent questions seems to hang on the worst consequences.  This in our situation makes me angry so I do push him away.  I do think another set of ears listening at appointment is very helpful but I think I want to ask my own questions.  Just sometimes I am not ready to consider some of the tough ones.  As I garner more strength, I eventually get to them.  I do think arguing right now is normal.  Everyone is stressed.  I also think to keep it to a minimum, you might consider doing a bit of research online to have an idea of what the answers to you questions may be.  I think this may helpful in the long run.  Good Luck

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