Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

It's so true about the kids not wanting to vacation with their parents as they get older.  We haven't been on a family vacation since Dec. 2005/Jan. 2006 - that's when Allan had his first episode of the aneurysm, we were in Florida at my MIL's condo in Boca.  At the time the girls were 16 and 19.  They have been on trips with their friends since.  However, this December we are planning on going to a fancy 5 star resort in Aruba for a week (maybe 10 days).  It's ridiculously expensive, but I don't care - After the crap we've been through, I want to have a paradise vacation.  A few other families we know are going along, so it should be great.

David Cook won American Idol - good for him, he's a great rocker, although I LOVE David Archuleta.  I see him as a Harry Connick Jr. sort of singer.

mmmmmmmm tropical paradise...........

can I come? 

Sure Rebecca, you can come along...

Had a great day out with Amanda today.  She stopped in at the personnel agency I used to hire our new accountant, they gave her some great ideas for jazzing up her resume to look for a summer job.  Then we went to Vaughan Mills S/C - sort of like Sawgrass Mills in Florida - She got some great business pantsuits, a dress and some shirts for amazing prices, a definite change from the college wardrobe of yoga pants, tight jeans and lowcut tops. Tomorrow she's going to drop off her resume at some hotels in the area as suggested by the guy at the personnel agency - He said they are always looking for receptionists. 

Cassie is having a wonderful time in Israel - yeah Tina I hear you on the good ol' days when your whole life was ahead of you and your biggest worry was what colour eyeshadow to wear with your Levis jeans.

Rebecca glad everything is going well, sure you can come along to Aruba. If I win the $27 million lottery, I'll take you and all the Sheehys.

xo

Hi, I've been trying to catch up with the posts. I go a few days without checking them and there's two pages worth to read.

I agree with everyone else, Joni, your afghan looks great. I've been crocheting for 30 years or so, and when I tackle large projects like that I hardly ever finish them. I do enjoy the smaller projects that I can finish within a reasonable amount of time, though.

Mel, how's your eye? That did sound like a really horrible, very bad day that you had.

Thanks to all the updates for those of you who've had tests and doctor's visits.

I'll spend the month of June, or at least the first 3 Tuesdays, in doctors' offices and such. I see my Primary doc on the 3rd for a diabetes check. I've been doing really good keeping that under control. Then on the 10th, I have a bone density to go to before I see the med onc on the 18th. I'm going to have to start writing all the little aches and pains down so I remember to say something.

Speaking of Vegas, I found 2 swimsuits I like. The first one I got at a thrift store, and it looked so good on me. It's aqua on top and purple on the bottom with a flowery design in the middle. The other one I saw this past Monday when a lady from the water aerobics class before mine brought in a new batch of suits to sell. I saw the crowd gathered around her and had to go look. Other times I've looked at her things , but nothing ever grabbed me. Well, on Monday I saw this little bit of pink in the pile of suits and asked to see that suit. As she pulled it out I saw all the other colors in the suit. It started with a peachy color at the top and gradually changed colors through the pink, magenta, violet and then purple at the bottom. What can I say, these are all my favorite colors. I asked the size, and it was my size. I just couldn't resist buying it even though I had the other one already. Now I'm torn, should I decide between the suits or just bring both of them to Vegas?

You all take care. Those of you in the US, have a safe holiday weekend.

Debbie

Bring them both to Vegas - it's hot there girl, we might be swimming alot!!

Wow, Debbie, you scored.  Swimsuits aren't an easy thing to find.

Jan, good info. on the surgery decisions.  I think you're totally right.  the dr.'s steer you into what they are most comfortable with.  I did have a sneaking suspicion that mine (a young, young ps) wanted some experience with doing TRAM's, thus mine.  I mean, her practice is primarily cosmetic so you'd think she'd have steered me to the implant route.  But she said she couldn't get good symmetry w/just one implant...

Tina - I had the same advice from the PS I saw last week who specializes in reconstruction plastic surgery, rather than a general/cosmetic PS.  He did not think I would be happy with just the implant as the symmetry would not be good, hence in my case because abdominal surgery is out, he advised the lat. dorsi.

I think when you have a PS for BC you really have to find a dr. that is a reconstruction expert,not just a cosmetic one . 

Yeah Skye the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone, thigh bone's connected to the knee bone... OY!  the never ending story..

To all my American sisters have a great Memorial Day weekend.

Hi all,



Debbie,

Both suits sound very pretty. I hope you bring them both.





I learned about the diep from Jan and Lynn. Thanks!! Both my bs and oncologist never heard of the diep surgery. Even when I went for a 2nd opinion at Dana Farber, the diep surgery never came up- they did not do them there so why discuss them. Now they do perform them. Things change very fast.



I have been very concerned about my bf, Arlene. This September will be our 40th Anniversary. We met Freshman year in college and have been best friends ever since. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 27 years ago, had surgery, radiation and chemo. Five years ago, when Ed was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the ovarian cancer returned on her heart and chest. Miraculously she survived that also. She had a marvelous thoracic surgeon that was able to remove it all. It was a very hard surgery followed with radiation and chemo once again. She has been doing great.



She walks 3 miles a day, eats no meat, has a very positive attitude, and lives as healthy as she can. Her husband is a gem. I have never seen a couple so much in love.



Last week when she went for her yearly ct scan ( they are watching her very carefully), they noticed a mass on the head of her pancreas. They are sure it is not a return of the ovarian cancer, but a new cancer- pancreatic cancer. I have been through this with Ed, so I know she has a brutal haul ahead.



The good news---Luckily today she found out that they can surgically remove it.

She originally told me it was 1 1/2 inches, but today she found out it was only 1 1/2 cm.-- a giant difference. I was so worried for days.

I know the survival rate is horrible, but if Ed can do it- she can too.



Since Ed was diagnosed five years ago, Arlene has called me every day, ending every conversation with a "I love you" all the time. She has been my rock during my bc journey, I do not know what I would do without her. She came with me when I had my hair shaved, helped me pick out a wig, was with me during quite a few of my chemo trips, sent me cards (and still does) practically every day and listened to me, and cried with me. She had been my strength, hope and inspiration.



I hope I will be as good a friend to her during the next year as she has been to me. It is so hard knowing what she will be going through. She is a fighter and she has to survive. The world would not be the same without her.



That's where my head had been the past week- worried silly. Funny thing, she has been upset with me because she thinks I am worrying too much instead of concentrating on my own recovery from my stage two surgery. She made her family and me promise that we will to take care of ourselves and be strong. It is so hard.

I am babbling now, but I know all of you understand.



I have been reading the board and have been with all of you, but I have not been in a mood to write. Now that we have some good news, I can relax a little.



I hope all of you have a great weekend.

Love,

Viddie

Oh Viddie my heart is breaking for your friend...that is just so much for one person to bear, no matter how strong.  You are a wonderful friend, and you guys are lucky to have each other. 

I have to thank you all for your input on the reconstruction surgery.  I have to keep reminding myself that it is not like the first time...there is no ticking time clock, and I can wait until I am comfortable with the options.  I have to say that TODAY I am not comfortable with more reconstruction.  The thought of more surgery, particularly one as invasive as a flap (of any type) makes me nauseous. The thought of another surgery looming in my future made me so anxious that I could not think.  That compounded with the fact that I will probably have to travel in order to find an appropriate surgeon (thereby turning my family upside down and inside out) has made me decide to re-orient my intentions, and decide that NO I am not going to try again.  But tomorrow that can change...and when I am ready to try again, I will do so with clear head and the knowledge, insight and love of my sisters to help me find my way. 

Viddie,

 I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Arlene.  Hopefully as they found it so early she will be okay, especially with all your love and support.

Rebecca-

I feel exactly as you do re: reconstruction, and I did not have the bad experience you have already had with the implant.  However I would like to give you my perspective, as someone who has had a prosthesis since 4 weeks after my mastectomy.

I suggest you go to a specialty store that has alot of different "foobs", and get fitted by an expert.  I drove 30 miles away to a women who specializes in this for over 25 years, and it was worth it.  Mine was expensive, about $300.   - but here in Ontario the government gives you about $200 towards a foob which can be replaced (if you want/need to every 2 years).  They also pay for 2 mast. bras/year.  I bought 6 amazing bras that same day, and they were all terrific. It took me a couple of weeks to get used to wearing the prosthesis, but mine is so good that I feel great, look great.

Yes, you will have to be careful about low cut tops, and it will make finding evening wear more difficult, but nothing is impossible. I always ask myself - do I want another non-essential surgery just so I can wear lowcut shirts? My DH has already told me he doesn't want me to do anything, he is worried about complications etc., but he will support any decision I make.

I also bought a swimming prosthesis - it cost $100, but I mean I will have it for years.  And I got 3 gorgeous bathing suits at a specialty store, they are the nicest bathing suits I have ever had (bringing all 3 to Vegas).Some days I walk by the bra section at the dept. store and wish I could buy a few, but if this is my biggest worry/problem, then I really don't know if I can do the surgery.  I really want to talk to a few women who have had the lat. dorsi and see how they look/feel... how the recovery was etc.

So I'm not rushing into anything either.  I think I am about 13-14 years older than you Rebecca (the big 50 this Sept.), so I fully understand that as a younger woman this might be more of an issue for you.  If I had a crystal ball and I could see into the future that it would all turn out great, with minimal discomfort, I probably would do it.  But I'm really ambiguous right now.  So I'm just investigating.  Luckily this is something you can do anytime in the future.  No rush.

JMO.

xo 

Foob!  Caya, toooo funny.  Rebecca, you are right.  You now have the luxury of time.  You can take all you want to decide.

Viddie, so sorry about Arlene.  I hope she does well.  Thank God she has Ed for a positive role model.  It is such a tough dx.

Things are OK here.  Quiet weekend.  Jaclyn went with the girl next door and her family (that basically only speak Spanish) to Kings Dominion.  The dad just called and said they are still there so will be home late.  It's 9pm now and it's over an hour away, in Richmond.  I am not worried.  They are sooooo good to their kids and their daughter is a doll, so I feel totally comfortable.

Tina -

Yup, use the "C" card if you have to - for you it's a double C - BC and Cardio -I'm sure they can make an exception for your Paul.

Glad Jac had such a nice time.  Kiana sounds like a doll - and the family too.  Sounds like the new neighbours are great.  We are very close with all our neighbours here.  Amanda is going over to a neighbour later this afternoon to do the 12 year old D's hair for her dance recital tonight.  There is a 6 year old boy, Adam, who lives 2 doors down, who loves my DH  Allan.  He "calls" on Allan to come outside to play with him.  A great group of people. 

Warm here today too - apparently going up to 25C (about 80F) this afternoon - that would be nice.  Enjoy your Memorial Day everyone.

Tina, glad to hear Jac made such a good friend.  I hope Paul will find the same soon.  It's harder for boys I think.

Well I took a real tumble on my bike outside on Saturday.  I took my eyes off of the road to look a a flyfisherman and when I looked back my tire was all crooked and down I was going on the Paint Creek Trail, which is gravel.  I said to myself, "This is going to hurt."  I was lucky didn't break anything, just really scraped up my elbow, about two inches and I have a bruise on my thigh the size of a saucer plate.  I had to ride back home about 8 miles.  Luckily I had some papertowel stuffed in my bra (lol) which came in handy to stop the bleeding.  Everyone likes that story.  DH offered to go get the car but I was so mad at myself.  Initially I blamed him although it was all my fault.  I was really lucky.  Then I got sunburned yesterday from my knee down, so I am hurting all over.  It's hard to sleep with all of my aches.  I'm going to lay low today and stay out of the sun.  Remind me in Vegas to wear lots of sunblock.  I hope to get a new swimsuit by then...going to go to Sears/Lands End and take a look soon.  Hugs.

Hi gals,

Mary, I laughed out loud at your silver lining of having paper towels handy inside your bra to use for an accident. I'm just happy you weren't hurt any worse than you were. Could have been nasty. And I hope too that Maryanne's dad will move in. Sometime parents (like my mom) are stubborn and want to hang on to their own spaces long after it's safe.



Viddie, what an amazing friend you have in Arlene. That gal is doing fantastic to be so far out from ovarian cancer, and if this new one is small and removable her odds have to be much better than usual for pancreatic. How blessed you are to have each other.



Tina, it's wonderful that Jac has found such a lovely friend with trustworthy parents. So far this move just seems win-win-win for you. And yeah like Caya says, use the double C card, LOL.



Caya thanks for the weekend wishes, it's a nice one for you too, sounds like. Ours has been very quiet and pleasant. We didn't plan anything which was good because I came down with what I think is my old friend fibromyalgia and I've had to sleep through a lot of it. Also I woke up yesterday with my left (surgery) arm numb on the upper part and my hand swollen enough that I had to quickly wrestle off my wedding ring. I think it was from pulling weeds on Friday, which also could have set off the fibro. It's better now but still achey. But today I took a couple of advil and went with dh to look through a few more car lots on his excruciating, endless search for a new vehicle. (He spent all yesterday doing that in Milwaukee while I slept.) Then we went to a big new Menard's and finally picked out the two screen doors and two patio doors we need for the house, and the pine planking for the rec room interior, and then on to Sam's Club where I got another red hibiscus tree for very cheap. I love those things.



Someone had asked what I bought at the Mall of America last week. Not too much, just two really good pairs of summer sandals...one is Dr. Scholls but they are really cute and feel like heaven. The other was from a Clark's store which is one of the few places that still stocks size 5 1/2 so I can buy something that really fits my foot. I also bought an adorable dog biscuit jar...think cookie jar that looks like a dog...for my brother for taking Grendel, and few other little presents. I really enjoy looking more than buying, and was having a good time chatting with my old friend and watching HER buy stuff.



And now DS1 is at his fiancee's nephew's birthday party, DS2 is in Chicago, and dh is golfing so Grendel and I have some nice quiet time. I'm halfway through the second chapter of a novel I started writing last week, and having much fun with it. It's something I literally dreamed, like a photograph.



One more positive thing, apologies for rambling...but had I not finished Herceptin earlier this month, today would have been spent in the chemo room instead of rambling about with my husband! I can feel the runny nose SE subsiding, and it won't be forced on me again. That has made it a sweet Memorial Day, indeed. Hope everyone else's was wonderful too. - Skye

Well, the weekend is almost over - guess if I'm going to check in I'd better do it now! I've been trying to have a restful weekend, and have been reading the boards here, but it seems that it has been such a long time since I posted anything that I've been putting that part of it off. As usual. Have been thinking of you all, though.

What's going on here is I am finally getting my new bathtub. Nothing is ever easy, though. We arranged to have the wallpaper removed, and the walls textured, the new tub installed, and some minor tile work done which was necessary in order to get the new tub in. They started last Tuesday I think - a couple of weeks late, but the contractor promised me it would just be 3-4 days work, so no problem. I should mention here that I broke one of my main common-sense rules, and used my friend's husband as a contractor. The first couple of days, they mostly just stood around talking about what they needed, and didn't get much work done - and if Larry hadn't taken the week off to stay home with them, they couldn't have borrowed his tools and wouldn't have gotten even that much done. Thursday no one showed up at all. Larry didn't call them, don't know why. The contractor said he thought they were at our house working. THEY told Larry the next day that the contractor had pulled them off our job to take care of a bigger, more pressing job. We would have understood, but didn't appreciate the lie (even though I know that is done in business all the time, I still don't like it). Anyway, Friday they did about half a day's work, then decided to quit working for this guy, and left. So it's Saturday, holiday weekend, and our house is covered in dust, my surgery is in a week, and nothing is getting done - plus the contractor is leaving on Wednesday for a cruise to Alaska!! So, I gave up letting Larry handle things, and I got on the phone with the guy, and as nicely as possible nailed him to the wall. I hoped that he would at least arrange to get the work finished Tuesday. Turns out I'm better than I thought I was - they were there in two hours! LOL Came back for a while yesterday, then the wall texture guy spent the day here, and they finish the plumbing and tile tomorrow. However, it has been totally exhausting, having to push them every step of the way, and also having our bathroom out of commission and all my stuff scattered around the house. Never again will I use someone I know - I fear for the friendship, now, but I had to push him - I was scared to death that he was going to leave and leave the work undone, and I would be coming home from the hospital without a functioning bathroom. And I couldn't exactly have them working in there after I got home, either. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll get done tomorrow. Oh - this guy's wife had a diep a year ago (thanks to me) so he totally knows what I'm facing - that's probably the only reason I could push him as much as I could.

So, enough whining. Viddie, while I'm thinking of surgery, thanks for the info. I ordered a couple of those marsupial pouches and a lounging gown from turner health, since I really hate the looks of my transition gown. It is the most godawful orange print that it doesn't do much to improve the mood of a convalescent. I don't know what they were thinking...pale orange, red, and green. Anyway, thanks for the tips...I'll get a chair for the shower...what else will I need? What did you guys wear at home after? How long till you could drive? Should I take anything to the hospital (besides my toothbrush and a fan?) I was all organized last year when I was so into this - I've forgotten so much now. Lynn, Jan....any tips?

Also, Viddie, your friend Arlene has really been on my mind - sending energy and strength to her and to you also. I hope that she does well - sounds like she is someone who does a lot of good in this world. I'm so sorry that she has to go through this - she has already paid her dues. My heart goes out to you both.

Mary, glad you weren't hurt any worse in your bike accident, and thanks for the laugh about the paper towels! Doyou customarily carry them there? By the way, I don't think you have lymphedema on your non-affected side.

Tina, it seems like your kids, especially Jac, are really getting off on the right foot with some good new friends. After all you guys went through with the people in Ohio, it's nice to be hearing some good things.

Skye, hope you and Grendel had some good peaceful quiet time today with the guys gone. What is your book about? Or is it a secret?

Debbie, your suits sound great - good work. It is so hard for me to find swimsuits. I haven't even looked the past two years, but maybe once this surgery is behind me... I am thinking that I will need to start swimming, since my back is such a problem. I hate swimming because I hate to mess with my hair after, but I guess I may have to. My eye is much better, thanks...not totally ok, but doesn't bother me much. I was surprised to hear that his kind of a corneal injury can spontaneously return any time in the next few months - never heard of such a thing. I have to put ointment in my eyes every night for two months to prevent it.

Joni, how are you doing? Sharon, Nancy, Robbin - about time to hear from you guys again, too. Cindy, too. Rebecca, Melia....who else did I miss?

I love you all. Can't wait till July.