TRAM flap surgery
Comments
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Hi all, I have never used a chat room before so please forgive me if I get anything wrong. I am really quite nervous about the whole thing and Im struggling to talk to people, but here goes.
Im a 33year old single mum with a small boy. I have been attending a family history clinic for several years now. I cant have any genetic testing as I have no surviving family members but I have been put in the High Risk category.
I am absolutely terrified of being diagnosed with breast cancer and leaving my son behind as I was a child when I lost my mother to the disease. I know that treatment has moved on and my chances would be so much better than hers but the fear has dominated my life for years.
Anyway, I saw a breast surgeon the other day about risk reducing surgery ( I have been several times ) as I made a decision 3 years ago that I would do everything to make sure I see my son grow up. We discussed the option of a bilateral mastectomy and TRAM flap reconstruction. I know I want to do this but I am terrified. I dont know how to tell my family, I am scared that my boyfriend will run a mile afterwards and worry that I will be alone forever. Im sure that some of you may think I am being petty and worrying for silly reasons but I would just like to talk with someone who understands my fears.
Im sure my concerns will change but at the moment the only thing I am sure of is that I have to do this for my own peace of mind and for my precious son. I dont want him to be without his Mummy, like I was.
Please help me to understand what I am feeling. I am so grateful that there is someone I can tell my fears to without upsetting my friends and family.
Thank you so much in advance.
Vickie
Ps Sorry if Im babbling nonsense
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Vickie1,
You are not "babbling nonsense" at all. You are understandably concerned. If you undergo the surgery, and do not currently have a dx of cancer, you will have an easier recovery, probably will not need additional treatment such as chemo or radiation. But being afraid of the surgery is normal. Any surgery carries risks. However, unless you have been given some additional reasons to think that you are in immediate danger of invasive bc, you can take the time to think it over and research the various options as much as you want.
Anne
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Hi Anne
Thank you for your comment. You are right I do have time and good health on my side. I made this decision a long time ago and have kept putting it off. The problem now is that Im getting very close to the age that my mum and nan died of Breast cancer. With every year, my risk is increasing. I worry that if I put it off much longer I will need to have it done out of necessity rather than choice. My mum and nan died in their 40s and my big sister was 9 when she was diagnosed with cancer. My sister survived and is now 37. I have 2 sisters and I really want to tell them what is happening but I dont want them to be upset or worried. I cant tell my friends either as I lose my bottle every time I try. I will have it done in the next 12 months but I need to get my head round it first. I have so much to sort out first, like childcare, time off work, my family and friends, my relationship I dont know where to start. Just talking to you is helping though, thank you so much for taking the time to comment.
Vickie
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Vickie,
Having a family history of Cancer is very scary. Because of my personal history and my family history, last week I was tested for BRCA1 & 2 and should have my results on June 2. My paternal grandmother died of BC, my sister was 36 when she was diagnosed, my father has had Colon and Kidney Cancer and I have been diagnosed with BC, twice. My first Cancer was also a triple negative, which puts me at a high risk to have this gene.
BRCA testing will tell you if you have this inherited gene. Your sisters can also be tested, as sometimes one sibling can test positive and one negative.
If I test positive, it has been recommended that I have a full hysterectomy, and I agree. I have 4 kids, two sons and two daughters, who will also need to be told of this gene. Not to scare them...but to make them aware of our family's genetics. I also have grandchildren and this affects them, as well. I am fascinated with genetics, but it can be scary, too.
Our goal through all this is to live. We want to see our kids and grandchildren grow up. We want to grow old with our partners. We want to travel and celebrate each of life's gifts. Gather your information and make the choice that's right for YOU. This is about you and making every moment count...
Linda
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Vickie:
Bring your sisters together for a girls day and explain to them that because there is a strong family history of b/c you have been thinking about have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. You could be surprised that they too may have been thinking about this and did not want to upset or worry you.
As for your boyfriend I had the same fear of telling mine that I had b/c. To my surprise after telling him about it he became very active in my treatment. He even told my oncologist and surgeon that we would do what ever needs to be done because he never wants to lose me. He even helped me make my surgical decision of either have one or both of breasts removed and he suggested that I have a bilateral mastectomy. I told him that my chest would be scared on both sides and he kept telling me did not care as long as he would not lose me to this ugly disease. It has been 2 1/2 years since my surgery and tram flap and we are still going strong.
Hugs
Laura
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Hi Linda, thanks for your comment.
I cant be gene tested as my family members who were diagnosed BC died. My sisters diagnosis was Thyroid Cancer which she survived. They can apparently check the histology of her tumour but gene testing for BC is out of the question. My family history is pretty scary and my sisters are aware that I have been to the Family History clinic. My Sis who has already had cancer doesn't want to know about BC as she is of the opinion that she has beat it once and she would do it again if necessary. My other sis has just got over a Cardiac Arrest so I dont want to be worrying either of them to be honest.
I know I have to do this for me and my son and its lovely to have like minded people to talk to. I hope you test results come back ok. Take lots of care.
Thanks
Vickie
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I had a TRAM in 9/06. I can understand your desire for prophylactic mastectomy based on your history, but I think I'd go the implant route vs. TRAM. The recovery from the TRAM was huge and I have an enormous hip to hip scar across my abdomen, almost inch wide in some areas. Plus, they take away your navel and recreate a new one. It takes a good week to be able to stand up straight. The mess on my stomach is worse than the reconstructed breast, which by the way has a ton of hardened (necrosis) areas. A TRAM really needs to be weighed long and hard.
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Hi TPPJ,
My surgeon told me that I am not a good candidate for implants. If this were not the case I would definately opt for that over TRAM as I understand the recovery is so much easier. Maybe I should go back to talk to him and find out exactly why I cant have implants. I think it was something to do with the size, but I am happy to go smaller. I will research all my options.
Vickie
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Vickie,
I was told at my BRAC testing that they can do the test on one person but they have to do the entire panel. They can then compare any living relatives to yours. You do not have to have the person who has breast cancer to get tested.
tina
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I had the TRAM flap surgery in October. The recovery is difficult, but I did like the idea of using my own tissue instead of foreign objects. I had it done at the same time as the bilat mast. I chose that because ILC has higher risk of being bilat. I do have the scaring, but I now have a flat tummy and the breast size is about a 36c. I will have the nipple recon and tattooing l later this year. Mostly, I am happy I went this route. The only other route I would have considered would no recon. Actually, my first choice would have been the DIEP recon, but I would have had to travel to New Orleans for that. It is a much easier recon.
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It is true. You do not need living relatives to be tested fro BRCA. I had it. They only needed a blood test from me. This is a common misconception. Even my gynecologist was misinformed.
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