things that made you happier about your decision

Linda,

I am a fairly serious runner as well.  However even when I would go out in the early dark morning, I would put in a sock..haha.  I would have never gone out in public with out something, a fluffy or whatever to fill out my left side.  I don't think that I am vein, but I am also a very full D cup!  It would be very noticeable.  When I would come home after work or whenever, I always went without anything in my bra.

I have since had reconstruction.  And I have to say...I am very happy with my results.

I agree with Rose, most people don't notice, what we think they would.

Lisa

I was talking to a woman yesterday at the cancer center while waiting for my baseline CT/PET scan.  I mentioned I had bilateral mastectomies.

She looked at me in astonishment, stared at my chest (I was going commando - no prostheses),  said she didn't notice I was breastless, and stated she still wouldn't be able to tell, just though I was very small busted.

I'm glad to hear you can leave him in the dust! 

We went to visit my brother/sister-in-law 2 weeks ago.

I always go flat.  I haven't even purchased forms.

I was a bit nervous to see their reaction and almost cried when I heard my sister-in-law say..

"hey, I know gals with boobs that look as flat naturally...plus, don't the women with reconstruction look unreal after a certain age...who is 60+ with pert boobs!"

That really put it in perspective for me!

Lewing and all you Sisters,

I just had a bilateral last week.  With the exception of dealing with 4 #$%! drains, I am amazed that I feel so well, and not as devestated as I imagined.  All the information I got from these boards like your encouraging comments above helped prepare me I am sure.

It might not be the same if I were younger, but heck at 64 going "flat", isn't too bad.   In fact in certain clothes, I look like one of those flat  "French Models".  Who would have thought.

I hope in the next few weeks I can be like caaclark and say I have found comfortable forms.

May I ask caaclark, what you wear, and where you got them?

Thanks everyone for you comments.

Dakota

Gippy,

Welcome to this forum! I know what you mean about feeling vulnerable. I'm slim but was nicely endowed with large B/small C breasts before breast cancer. My surgeon did a beautiful job on my bilateral mastectomy--the surface is even and the scars are totally symmetrical--but my ribs are very much in evidence and, with (hopefully) no breast tissue and virtually no fat to cover them, my chest feels very vulnerable. When I don't feel like wearing my silicone breast forms, I still wear lightweight non-silicone forms in a camisole or little bralette, just so there's something soft and protective there.

Since you're very happy with your breast forms (prostheses), would you mind sharing what kind you use? I'm always interested in what works for others. And I'm always looking for good options to recommend on my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. You might enjoy checking out my site--many women on this board contributed personal stories and photos to it--though it sounds as if you don't need any help living breast-free!

Dakota,

Congrats on being on the other side of surgery. I'm so glad you've had an easy recovery. One suggestion--don't rush too fast into silicone breast forms. I got fitted at four weeks and later wished I'd waited six or eight. I was still sensitive and not as healed as I thought. Although I bought the forms, I couldn't wear them comfortably for a while. And I wound up exchanging my forms for others because I couldn't really quite judge what would work long-term at that early stage. Everyone's different and I've heard of some women who are fitted as early as two weeks out. So listen to your own body.

I hope Carol will chime in because she's so knowledgeable. I know she recently purchased a contact form, which she loves. I'm planning to follow in her footsteps as soon as my insurance allows. But, as your fitter will probably tell you, your skin has to be healed before you wear one of those (at least six months, maybe a year). I've had radiation, which is why I've hesitated. But my radiation was in 2003 (my bilats were in 2006) and my skin looks good, so I think I'm ready to give the contact forms a try.

To answer the question of this post, I guess what's made me happiest about my decision is how much of a non-issue it is with those who know about my surgery (pretty much everyone who knows me). I worried that people would look at me funny, be afraid to hug me, feel sorry for me. My impression is that most people totally forget about it and don't hesitate to hug me as close as ever--including my DH (LOL)!

Another thing that's changed, ironically, is that I now wear more revealing tops than before. I was always a conservative dresser and living in Boston, which is a rather staid place, it pretty much never occurred to me to show any cleavage. I did like tight, fitted tees, but I rarely wore low-cut tank tops or low-cut tops at all. Since my surgery, I love wearing tank tops and other low-cut tops. I've found some good clingy material (like Chicos travellers tops)--when I bend over, there's no gap, so I don't worry about people seeing more than I want to show. So, paradoxically, losing my breasts has given me a greater sense of freedom about dressing than before.

Barbara 

Wallycat,

I think you are so right. Sometimes I like to think that I've somehow made the "braver" choice by not having reconstruction. But then I realize that makes no sense--I'm still concerned about my appearance and in fact always wear breast forms and like to look as if I have nice perky breasts at the age of 59. If I chose to go flat, I would still care about how I looked and probably would fancy myself as imitating some gorgeous flat-chested model.

Choosing not to reconstruct was more a matter of figuring out what was right for me. My reconstruction options were limited as I'd had rads to one side, I was terrified of long surgery and, like you, feared complications. And, vain woman that I am, I didn't want any more scars. I'm glad that we live at a time when a variety of options are available. And, as you said, the unfortunate cards we were dealt has required all of us, recon or no-recon alike, to muster up our courage and move forward. 

I was driving down the street past the Women's Center where I had the mammo that located my cancer, and I suddenly thought how relieved I am not to do mammos anymore. I know, in a discussion of courage and fortitude like this thread has become, my relief at no more mammos is wimpy. But for me it's real. Also, when any of my doctors (onc, PCP, gyn) do "breast" exams, I don't worry that they've missed something, because there's no longer dense breast tissue for lousy lumps to hide out in.

Small items, maybe, but I'm grateful for them.

Binney 

Barbara-

Yeah, I am the same as you.  Everyone who knows me, knows that one boob was removed and one was not.  I am sure that information makes some uncomfortable but it does not bother me so I don't mind if they know.  Besides, once someone knows you have had breast cancer you are then in a great position to educate them.

Dakota,

I agree with you about the "pillow fluff." Some women like it, but I always felt it looked lumpy on me. I hope I'm not repeating myself ad nauseum, as I've mentioned this before, but I find the unweighted Amoena Style 126 Leisure Forms give me a nice shape and are very comfortable. I continue to use them for exercise and casual wear. Most fitters carry them or other equivalent forms, so that might tide you over for a few weeks until you feel ready for silicone forms.

Barbara 

Hi All: 

I am new to the board. I just wanted to add my two-cents to the non-reconstruction issue. I am SO happy that I did not opt for reconstruction. I just wish my surgeon had taken my wishes a tad more seriously, as he left rather more skin than I really wanted "just in case" I might change my mind later.  But I will not.  First of all, I healed up super fast and was able to take off for Europe just five weeks after surgery. Now, at 3 months post-op, I am completely recovered and totally ok with the scar and how I look in the buff--cute, just rather lop-sided. But even more than that, I LOVE my prosthesis (Amoena Natura Light 2A). I am actually much more comfortable with it on than off, and I look terrific. (IMHO). I have a little bit of cleavage, and I can wear some low cut sexy stuff and it's very amusing to catch people staring at me wondering what's what. Ha! I'm sure they think I had a little work done. Let them wonder.

As a former medical malpractice investagor for an insurance company, I read way too many horror stories in my job about reconstructions and implants gone awry. Granted, the vast majority of the time the surgery has a good outcome, but when it doesn't, it can be ghastly. Since I scar badly and my body has issues with foreign substances, I thought it likely I might be one of those small number of women who end up with massive infections and grief. I just didn't want to go there. Mastectomy and Chemo are enough of a challenge.

 Another issue--and I haven't seen that addressed here, is that if you have a single mastectomy, reconstruction will still leave you lop-sided:  with one very firm little puppy and another one that droops to your waist unless you opt for more reconstruction. Life is just way too short.

A guess a sense of humor helps

debiker-

If you get one of the swim forms they can function as a regular form also.  I wear the same form for swimming as I do for exercising.  It fits well in a sports bra and in a mast. suit.

this is helpful to hear. I am thinking braless is good. I will see the plastic surgeon however I think bilateral is the way I want to go.

Dear jc135,

I had a mastectomy in March, and did not want reconstruction. I have had my fitted breast form for about two months now. I can't begin to tell you how pleased I am with this decision, and how completely comfortable I feel and how great I look. I have an Amoena ($300) form that is very comfortable and an exact match for my other breast. It tucks neatly into the bra and never moves around or bothers me. I have another less expensive form I use for sports and swimming, and it seems to work fine too. It was the right decision for me. I have no awareness of any difference in the way my breasts feel or look.

That being said, it is also true that I am only a B cup, and I do think these breast forms are heavier and more problematic for the better endowed. Some women do complain of heat and slippage.

One thing to consider is that if you go for reconstruction, you still will not have a perfect matched set when you are braless.  One will be perky, and one will not, though they will hopefully match when you are in a bra.

Hope this is of some help. These are not easy decisions to make. Good luck with it.