American Idol

Ok, who originally sang David C's first song?  Seacrest (on the results show) said Chakka Kahn??!?! 

I thought that was an oldie?!  Cook looked at Seacrest oddly when he said that, but nobody laughed.  That confused me.  

Simon was hilarious with his reaction to Fantasia.  As was Fantasia, for that matter!  Ha!  

I didn't watch Syesha's last Goodbye song.  I wanted her to sing the Happy Feet song.  

Fantasia Barrino, Idol '04, performs, singing her heart out in a funky jumpsuit.... She's whooping and hollering, gritty and greasy, stomping out in the audience and scaring all the white girls....Judge Simon Cowell looks terrified. And that alone, folks, is worth the price of admission.

Too funny.... 

It's this week, but, of course, is another two parter. Honestly, I get so aggravated with the results show because they could easily get the meat of it in in about 15 minutes, but what do they do? Add a guest singing something silly, a group commercial, some questions from AI fans - maddening...

I think I'll tune in on Wednesday at 9:45pm - just like I did for Ruben and Clay... 

It feels like at this point I HAVE to watch the finale.  I've been in it through the long haul-I can't give up now!  

I totally want David A. to win.  Why?  Because I agree with the theory that David C. will do better as a non-winner.  He's going to be fine. 

Posted at 7:26 AM ET, 05/21/2008

"American Idol": The Two Davids

For the first time since Clay vs. Ruben, two guys are competing for the "American Idol" tiara. To mark the occasion, "Idol" producers have dressed up the show like a boxing match. Yeah, preteen girls and middle-aged women -- the program's core audience -- they love boxing.

Particularly ringmaster Michael "Are You Ready to Rumble?!" Buffer, who introduces the two remaining Idolettes: David "Sugarfoot" Cook and David "Babyface" Archuleta.

David Cook demonstrates why a rocker should never ever make it to the Final 2 of this competition, losing all cred as he happily camps it up in a red satin robe and boxing gloves.

Baby Elmo, on the other hand, has the good sense to seem really uncomfortable and embarrassed shoved into a blue satin robe and boxing gloves.

Music industry mogul Clive Davis is back, babbling incoherently and looking like one of those dried-apple faces we used to make in Brownies. Best guest mentor ever Andrew Lloyd Webber is back, too, but this time he seems only slightly more coherent than Davis, thanks to some incredible slicing and dicing by the producers, who keep zipping back and forth between his comments and those of Davis and HBO boxing commentator Jim Lampley.

Preteen girls love Lampley.

Host Ryan Seacrest has pulled out his most conservative three-piece Tony Randall suit for the occasion. The judges also are in their Sunday best -- Randy Jackson is wearing about 15 pounds of bling. Paula Abdul is bejeweled in glitter bracelet, glitter ring, pink glitter dress and glitter handbag she props on the judges' desk. Simon Cowell is wearing his trademark Il Divo outfit: snug black Italian-ish suit and white open-collared shirt, unbuttoned one button too many.

Seacrest mentions Baby Elmo winning last week's coin toss and opting to go second. He asks David C. how he feels. David C. smiles smugly, turns to the crowd of around 7,000 (they've moved the show to the [Cellphone Company] Theatre in downtown Los Angeles): "You guys tell me -- how does it feel?" Asked the same question, Baby Elmo has the good sense to respond, "It's a dream come true!" Baby Elmo is clearly in this to win.

Time for the American Idol Final Performance Show Judges' Opening Cliches.

Randy says the Two Davids have to leave everything on the floor in the battle for King of the [Cellphone Company] Theatre. Paula says they are in the [Cellphone Company] Theatre and everybody is loving the Two Davids, so they should soak it all up and may the best man win.

Clearly the producers cut a sweet deal for the theater on condition the judges mention its name on-air at least 15 times.

Simon says the Two Davids must each have the desire to win and must hate their opponent.

Do they hate their opponent? Seacrest wonders.

Baby Elmo says: "Umm, you know this guy's awesome. I wish him the best of luck." David C., on the other hand, says the show "has been amazing" and that Baby Elmo is one of those "consistently nice people" and as far as he is concerned the competition is over and "we're just having fun."

Round 1: Clive Davis Picks.

Lampley advises the Idolettes to pace themselves and don't use everything in the first round.

Cook is stuck with the tune "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For."

In honor of the important night, his Coroner Munchkin sideburns are back, but the rest of his hair has been made to stand up and look like a thatched roof.

Randy Jackson likes it -- the song, not the thatched-roof look -- plenty. Paula says he may not have found what he's looking for "but we've found it and it's David Cook, amen, amen!" Simon says that in light of how tense Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof looked at the top of the show this performance is "phenomenal." David C. cocks his head and gives his best stage Surprised Look.

Baby Elmo is stuck with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." Webber tells him, "Don't let your eyes go shut on me!" and "you don't win anything if you're not brave." Ounce for ounce, this is the most cliche-jammed episode in "American Idol" history.

Baby Elmo largely ignores Webber's advice and yet the audience loves his performance -- so much so Randy says "Wow!" in re the applause.

Paula says the sun is never gonna go down on Baby Elmo he brings so much sunshine to the world with his beautiful sunny performance -- and then collapses from pun exhaustion.

Simon calls it Baby Elmo's best performance to date, adding, "Taking everything into account: Round 1 goes to Archuleta."

Round 2: Idolette-Chosen Treacle Tune

Lampley observes that winning a fight is like climbing stairs -- the second round is harder. Also, train hard and take care of your body because it's the first thing to go. Words for us all to live by, I might add.

Webber, on the other hand, thinks Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof needs to take care of his voice. CM/Thatched Roof picks a tune called "Dream Big," a perfectly decent rock tune for a bartender-cum-Idolette but hardly Treacle Tune worthy.

Randy believes CM/TR sang his face off and correctly notes it's the beginning of Round 2 of the Duel of the [Cellphone Company] Theatre.

Paula, on the other hand, insists CM/TR's song is in his heart and his guitar is in his hand. Simon, however, nicks him for choosing a tune lacking in treacle. "Bearing in mind it was supposed to be, like, a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment to me," Simon clarifies.

Baby Elmo picks "In This Moment," which in his capable hands proves to be the Mother of All Treacle Tunes. Driving home the point, he sings it while wearing a jacket with a big anchor on the front and the back. Webber hates the lyrics to Baby Elmo's tune -- particularly the bit about:

Staring through windows at my own reflection,
How can a window encompass perfection?

You can see his point.

Randy observes that Baby Elmo can sing the phone book. Paula declares him on fire. Simon calls the tune "fantastically self-centered" but "much more in keeping with the night," and adds: "Round 2 goes to David Archuleta."

Baby Elmo fights back tears -- good for another half a million votes.

Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof is in some kind of real trouble now.

Round 3: Idolettes Choice

Lampley says the first two rounds are about boxing, or something like that.

He's now white noise.

Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof picks "The World I Know" because, he later explains, it's all about "progression." But of course it's not. It's all about winning. By the end of the performance, he's crying. Paula gives him a standing ovation. Randy commends him for showing his "sensitive side." Paula says he's "standing in your truth."

Simon says CM/TR is one of the nicest and most sincere contestants ever on "Idol" but the song, while pretty, was "completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you on the night." He should have resung "Billie Jean" or "Hello" -- you know, one of his earlier showstoppers.

"Why do something I've already done?" CM/TR responds, patronizingly. In some circles this is called "taking a dive."

It's like Old Idol meets New Idol: Simon talking about what "American Idol" used to be -- bunch of wide-eyed kids get together and pick old tunes and sing their little hearts out -- and CM/TR is New Idol -- you don't necessarily want to win, runner-up is just as good and way cooler if you're a rocker and "performance night" is best handled as "audition tape."

But props to Simon for not fawning over Thatched Roof -- the more commercial singer of the two.

Baby Elmo, on the other hand, once again trots out his unstoppable performance of "Imagine." Of course he did. Otherwise he'd be like a production of "Dreamgirls" opting not to do the "And I Am Telling You That I Am Not Going" number.

After weeks and weeks of okay-not-great robotic performances, it's the "American Idol" storyline the judges love.

Randaula declares Baby Elmo the best singer we can find in the best season, and is otherwise speechless. Simon says, "You came out there tonight to win and what we have witnessed is a knockout."

It appears things may play out as they should after all. Baby Elmo needs to win this thing and get signed to an iron-clad contract, lest he wind up in some kind of Shelter for Victims of Stage Dads. Thatched Roof, meanwhile, needs to not win, so that he can go sell millions of CDs, like Chris Daughtry.

• David Archuleta
  65%
• David Cook
  34

OK, here is Lisa's take on last night. 

Posted at 7:26 AM ET, 05/21/2008

"American Idol": The Two Davids

For the first time since Clay vs. Ruben, two guys are competing for the "American Idol" tiara. To mark the occasion, "Idol" producers have dressed up the show like a boxing match. Yeah, preteen girls and middle-aged women -- the program's core audience -- they love boxing.

Particularly ringmaster Michael "Are You Ready to Rumble?!" Buffer, who introduces the two remaining Idolettes: David "Sugarfoot" Cook and David "Babyface" Archuleta.

David Cook demonstrates why a rocker should never ever make it to the Final 2 of this competition, losing all cred as he happily camps it up in a red satin robe and boxing gloves.

Baby Elmo, on the other hand, has the good sense to seem really uncomfortable and embarrassed shoved into a blue satin robe and boxing gloves.

Music industry mogul Clive Davis is back, babbling incoherently and looking like one of those dried-apple faces we used to make in Brownies. Best guest mentor ever Andrew Lloyd Webber is back, too, but this time he seems only slightly more coherent than Davis, thanks to some incredible slicing and dicing by the producers, who keep zipping back and forth between his comments and those of Davis and HBO boxing commentator Jim Lampley.

Preteen girls love Lampley.

Host Ryan Seacrest has pulled out his most conservative three-piece Tony Randall suit for the occasion. The judges also are in their Sunday best -- Randy Jackson is wearing about 15 pounds of bling. Paula Abdul is bejeweled in glitter bracelet, glitter ring, pink glitter dress and glitter handbag she props on the judges' desk. Simon Cowell is wearing his trademark Il Divo outfit: snug black Italian-ish suit and white open-collared shirt, unbuttoned one button too many.

Seacrest mentions Baby Elmo winning last week's coin toss and opting to go second. He asks David C. how he feels. David C. smiles smugly, turns to the crowd of around 7,000 (they've moved the show to the [Cellphone Company] Theatre in downtown Los Angeles): "You guys tell me -- how does it feel?" Asked the same question, Baby Elmo has the good sense to respond, "It's a dream come true!" Baby Elmo is clearly in this to win.

Time for the American Idol Final Performance Show Judges' Opening Cliches.

Randy says the Two Davids have to leave everything on the floor in the battle for King of the [Cellphone Company] Theatre. Paula says they are in the [Cellphone Company] Theatre and everybody is loving the Two Davids, so they should soak it all up and may the best man win.

Clearly the producers cut a sweet deal for the theater on condition the judges mention its name on-air at least 15 times.

Simon says the Two Davids must each have the desire to win and must hate their opponent.

Do they hate their opponent? Seacrest wonders.

Baby Elmo says: "Umm, you know this guy's awesome. I wish him the best of luck." David C., on the other hand, says the show "has been amazing" and that Baby Elmo is one of those "consistently nice people" and as far as he is concerned the competition is over and "we're just having fun."

Round 1: Clive Davis Picks.

Lampley advises the Idolettes to pace themselves and don't use everything in the first round.

Cook is stuck with the tune "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For."

In honor of the important night, his Coroner Munchkin sideburns are back, but the rest of his hair has been made to stand up and look like a thatched roof.

Randy Jackson likes it -- the song, not the thatched-roof look -- plenty. Paula says he may not have found what he's looking for "but we've found it and it's David Cook, amen, amen!" Simon says that in light of how tense Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof looked at the top of the show this performance is "phenomenal." David C. cocks his head and gives his best stage Surprised Look.

Baby Elmo is stuck with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." Webber tells him, "Don't let your eyes go shut on me!" and "you don't win anything if you're not brave." Ounce for ounce, this is the most cliche-jammed episode in "American Idol" history.

Baby Elmo largely ignores Webber's advice and yet the audience loves his performance -- so much so Randy says "Wow!" in re the applause.

Paula says the sun is never gonna go down on Baby Elmo he brings so much sunshine to the world with his beautiful sunny performance -- and then collapses from pun exhaustion.

Simon calls it Baby Elmo's best performance to date, adding, "Taking everything into account: Round 1 goes to Archuleta."

Round 2: Idolette-Chosen Treacle Tune

Lampley observes that winning a fight is like climbing stairs -- the second round is harder. Also, train hard and take care of your body because it's the first thing to go. Words for us all to live by, I might add.

Webber, on the other hand, thinks Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof needs to take care of his voice. CM/Thatched Roof picks a tune called "Dream Big," a perfectly decent rock tune for a bartender-cum-Idolette but hardly Treacle Tune worthy.

Randy believes CM/TR sang his face off and correctly notes it's the beginning of Round 2 of the Duel of the [Cellphone Company] Theatre.

Paula, on the other hand, insists CM/TR's song is in his heart and his guitar is in his hand. Simon, however, nicks him for choosing a tune lacking in treacle. "Bearing in mind it was supposed to be, like, a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment to me," Simon clarifies.

Baby Elmo picks "In This Moment," which in his capable hands proves to be the Mother of All Treacle Tunes. Driving home the point, he sings it while wearing a jacket with a big anchor on the front and the back. Webber hates the lyrics to Baby Elmo's tune -- particularly the bit about:

Staring through windows at my own reflection,
How can a window encompass perfection?

You can see his point.

Randy observes that Baby Elmo can sing the phone book. Paula declares him on fire. Simon calls the tune "fantastically self-centered" but "much more in keeping with the night," and adds: "Round 2 goes to David Archuleta."

Baby Elmo fights back tears -- good for another half a million votes.

Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof is in some kind of real trouble now.

Round 3: Idolettes Choice

Lampley says the first two rounds are about boxing, or something like that.

He's now white noise.

Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof picks "The World I Know" because, he later explains, it's all about "progression." But of course it's not. It's all about winning. By the end of the performance, he's crying. Paula gives him a standing ovation. Randy commends him for showing his "sensitive side." Paula says he's "standing in your truth."

Simon says CM/TR is one of the nicest and most sincere contestants ever on "Idol" but the song, while pretty, was "completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you on the night." He should have resung "Billie Jean" or "Hello" -- you know, one of his earlier showstoppers.

"Why do something I've already done?" CM/TR responds, patronizingly. In some circles this is called "taking a dive."

It's like Old Idol meets New Idol: Simon talking about what "American Idol" used to be -- bunch of wide-eyed kids get together and pick old tunes and sing their little hearts out -- and CM/TR is New Idol -- you don't necessarily want to win, runner-up is just as good and way cooler if you're a rocker and "performance night" is best handled as "audition tape."

But props to Simon for not fawning over Thatched Roof -- the more commercial singer of the two.

Baby Elmo, on the other hand, once again trots out his unstoppable performance of "Imagine." Of course he did. Otherwise he'd be like a production of "Dreamgirls" opting not to do the "And I Am Telling You That I Am Not Going" number.

After weeks and weeks of okay-not-great robotic performances, it's the "American Idol" storyline the judges love.

Randaula declares Baby Elmo the best singer we can find in the best season, and is otherwise speechless. Simon says, "You came out there tonight to win and what we have witnessed is a knockout."

It appears things may play out as they should after all. Baby Elmo needs to win this thing and get signed to an iron-clad contract, lest he wind up in some kind of Shelter for Victims of Stage Dads. Thatched Roof, meanwhile, needs to not win, so that he can go sell millions of CDs, like Chris Daughtry.

• David Archuleta
  65%
• David Cook
  34

OK, here is Lisa's take on last night.