American Idol

Lisa de Moraes' column: Posted at 7:43 AM ET, 05/ 8/2008

"American Idol": Perfectly Dread-ful

Never in this season of "American Idol" has it been so clear who should get the old heave-ho on results-and-product-plug night. The previous night, Jason Castro mutilated Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff" and forgot lyrics on Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" -- two songs he said he chose to sing because he knew them well.

It was one of the most dramatic "Idol" shows ever, Larry King's presumptive CNN replacement Ryan Seacrest tells us right off the bat, while NBC's "Deal or No Deal" star Howie Mandel is seen watching approvingly from the audience. NBC quickly drafts a contract clause banning its ratings star from being seen watching other networks' programs.

The super-dramatic Tuesday show resulted in this season's biggest haul of votes -- 51 million. Ironically, that's in inverse proportion to the number of viewers -- 21.8 million, the smallest for an "Idol" competition since 2003.

But first, it's time for one of our favorite results-show segments: Let's Clear Things Up, Shall We?
Seacrest asks judge Randy Jackson why he made I'm Syesha Mercado! cry the night before. Randy says he saw her after the show and said he was sorry and Syesha assured him he had not made her cry -- judge Paula Abdul did when she stood up and welcomed Syesha to her dream. Syesha's dream, that is, not Paula's.

Seacrest wonders why judge Simon Cowell looked so angry on Tuesday. Simon says he wasn't angry, he was just surprised at some of the disastrous song choices.

Seacrest reminds us the top four will become the top three but not for an hour, during which we will be subject to all kinds of infomercials for this and that.

But first the "American Idol" Results Show Medley, Steely Dan's "Reeling in the Years," which the Idolettes sing while marching around the gimongous stage like a high school band, and Judge Judy keeps an eye on things from the audience.

Then, a look back at the previous night's catastrophic rock-and-roll episode.

"Someone's dream will be crushed," Seacrest intones once that taped bit is over.

There aren't many seats on the Crushed Velvet Sofa of Safety, Seacrest says, bringing out David Archuleta first.

"Um, yeah, um, I'd love to," Baby Elmo says in response to Seacrest's penetrating question about whether he would like to be the next American Idol. Anyway the answer's good enough for Seacrest, who sends him to the Sofa of Safety.

Time for another taped bit, in which the Idolettes are shipped to Vegas to be the traveling petting zoo at Cirque du Soleil's Beatles Love! show. They were transported to Vegas on their own 737 jet and the inspiration for this trip, Seacrest explains, was a trip made by the Fab Four, a.k.a. the Beatles, in an actual plane, lo these many years ago. Seacrest calls the four finalists "our own Fab Four." We resist the urge to put a pillow over our head and smother ourself.

In the taped Vegas bit, a chick is seen grabbing and kissing Jason. He reports it was scary. Then he goes and kisses a dolphin that seems just as scared.

But before the Idolettes are trotted out on the red carpet, they are taken to a Vegas spa for some sprucing up, just like on the "Wizard of Oz" before Dorothy's audience with the Wizard. It's David Cook's first manicure ever. His hair has been done up again to look like the WoO's Coroner Munchkin. I'm Syesha Mercado! is dressed as an artichoke.

Seacrest brings David C. onstage. Randy is asked to give him some advice. "Stay original, dude, and rock it out, baby," Randy suggests.

David C. says he felt off the night before because he woke up in the morning and his head was in the wrong place. He did not mention where he found it. Even so, viewers have voted him through to the Sofa of Safety.

In this week's Ford Vehicle Video, a mustang is playing a bull and the Idoletttes are bullfighters.

"Well -- those pants looked comfortable!" Seacrest says of the costume.

The Phone Company Actual Phone Calls From Viewers segment begins with Emily from Pittsburgh asking David C. to go out with her.

"We can link this up," Seacrest tells her, enthusiastically.

"We'll see," a panicked David C. says.

Sarah wonders what have been the Idolettes biggest challenges on the show. "Stage fright!" I'm Syesha Mercado! says. Baby Elmo can't think of any. But Jason says without hesitation it's being brain dead that's the hardest.

Allison from South Carolina wonders why Simon hasn't been knighted by the queen yet. Simon says he asks himself that same question every day and sends a message to the queen that he's available.

Maura wants to know how Syesha feels about being the only remaining girl Idolette. Syesha says it's awkward because the remaining guy Idolettes are really funny. Seacrest wonders how Paula feels being the only chick on the judges panel. "Fantastic," Paula says.

And, finally, Marla from Cleveland wants Simon to be the next James Bond.

Maroon 5 performs by way of hawking its new tour while Mosh Pit Sorority Sisters try to crawl on stage to get nearer.

Former Idolette Bo Bice performs a tune from his new CD. He makes David C. look less like Chris Daughtry Lite and more like great. He admonishes the Idolettes to "Practice, practice, practice."

Meanwhile, another former Idolette, Ace Young will be the murder victim on an upcoming episode of "Bones" -- hooray!

Finally, it's time to put Syesha and Jason out of their misery. But first, Seacrest bats them around with stupid questions, including asking Jason what went wrong the previous night. He explains it's been getting tough on him due to his "inexperience" and that even when he picks tunes he knows, he messes up.

Syesha is asked again about her good cry and the meaning of one of her songs of choice, "A Change Is Gonna Come."

"We're in 2008; we might have our first female president of the United States or our first black president," she says. Yeah, that's what had her sobbing on national TV the night before -- the Democratic presidential race. That and "what I'm going through right now," she adds.

Jason's out, Seacrest says. Jason's relieved, Jason says, explaining he did not want to have to learn three tunes next week. The producers have him re-slaughter "I Shot the Sheriff" on the strength of his having remembered all the lyrics the previous night.

It will be interesting to see how things pan out these last 2 weeks.  Archie's dad has been banned from helping him with preparing for his singing.  I think that is only fair and the others do not have someone choosing there songs and helping them to prepare. 

Dawn

Well tonights show was much better than the last few weeks....Very entertaining. David Cook really kicked butt..His first song was fantastic. He really deserves to win this season..Man oh man did Syesha look fantastic tonight!!! Everything she wore looked great on her, she really is a beauty..She'll get picked up for Broadway as soon as she is released from the tour. David A has a great voice and I think he'll do fine after the show, I guess its just his age that makes David C  a better "Idol". So  who's going tomorrow night Syesha or David A ???  I have to tell you, whoever it was that said David A looks like the Keebler elf, it gets me every time I watch him.LOL He really does..  Until tomorrow night, Hugs KLynn

David A and the Keebler Elf! Oh My God! i am ROTFLMAO about that one! I had never heard that comparison but now that you mention it, YES!!!! I think David A has a wonderful voice. I just don't feel ecstatic about it the way I so often feel about David C after he sings. What a touching thing to see DC's mom listening to him sing! It so reminds me of my own boys! I agree that Syesha looked stunning tonight. She is simply beautiful and can sing to boot! I feel she is an actress who happens to have a great voice. And if you haven't guessed by now, I am rooting for David C. I just am blown away by him. I didn't think this was his best night, but overall, I just love this boy! I have only had one idol I chose actually become THE idol and that was season one (Kelly) so I guess I am due! GO DC!!!!



Anne

So here is my take on last night's performances:

Archuleta: the first song had the hair of my arms standing until... the band joined him... it spoiled it for me!  I just wanted to hear his voice SOLO and I know he could have done just that... btw, nice pick Paula!  The other songs, were just okay for me!  B/c of all teenyboppers... he w/ be in the final!

Cook: LOVED the first song, Simon is a genius!  And that's what I like about Cook, he changes everything around and makes his own... never loosing site of the original though....The other 2 songs, he did okay for me.  He w/ pass onto the final;

Mercado: This girl is so diverse... she w/ be the next Haley Berry, the next Broadway star, she has style, she has class, and I don't think the judges were fair!!!!!!!!!!  She w/ do just fine out there like someone here said as soon as she lives American Idol and its tour...

The judges: Randy... I think the gastric bypass is getting to his brain... "too predictable... not you... do something fun... not you... it was just okay...not you... do this... hum, I did not like it..." and on and on... what the heck do you want from these kids Randy?!?!?!?!

Paula: even though she has the most erratic behavior, I simply lover her... and she was right, the show last night was not about Randy and Simon... it was about the singers.

Simon:  too harsh on Mercado... this girl can do it all, even though, I still don't believe that her voice is much different from what we have out there in the market... and b/c they were so harsh on her... I voted 10 times for her and only for her!  (First time this year voting);  She w/ probably go home tonight... the odds are against her and so were the Judges...

Okay gotta put my two cents in; I am totally for lil David, "baby elmo", "keebler elf" or "curious george" whichever he may be called.

I've got two boys around his age and Im telling you they could never sing as well as lil David has. That's why I predict a win for him-he has potential; while David Cook has already practically reached his top-lil David will only get better as time goes by.

Hope no one gets angry about my response-but that is just how I see it; besides I have a bet with my mother who's pick was long voted off.

Have a good day all-I'm so looking forward to tonights show!!!!

lag

Hey Lag,

    Of course no one here would get upset with your opinion, that's what makes this thread so much fun, all the different views on the show!!!! I love hearing how everyone else sees ( or hears) the show..

    AND yes SLH (Sally) I did finally vote last night, I ususally start voting when it gets down to the final 5. This year the final 3. I will be voting like crazy next week if David C. is still in the running.

    Naughty, I agree with you I think Simons choice for DC was genius , he certainly knows his s*it..And he was way too hard on Syesha last night..Paula's choice also great for DA. Paula's meds seemed to be working last night , she actually made sense most of the night..The guys were acting like "little boys" with their pickering all night, what's up with Randy lately???

    Badboob, too fun with the Curious George ..that works too LOL..

    Lewis(Anne) and Doreen I'm with you both ..David Cook all the way, yeah....

    I'm going to miss all of you guys here when the show ends this season. I don't watch any other "reality" type shows anymore , so I can't really join in on those threads. Anyone watch any that are worth watching and disscussing????? I did watch one or two of the Osborns, when they were on, I just love Sharon Osborn, and when she threw the rotten ham over her neighbors fence I nearly died laughing, I choked on something I was eatting..Man, how many times would you like to have done something like that??? Okay,  onto tonights show.....already have the popcorn out and ready to make LOL.....Hugs to all KLynn

The battle is on--and I LOVE IT

it's David Archelleta all the way-I still in my heart believe it will be DA all the way!!!!!!!!!

lag

I absolutely LOVED IT!  To me, Fantasia brought the house down... I like that type of energy (cross between Tina Turner and Patti LaBelle) ... I would now go see one of her shows b/c I know she w/ get me jamming, instead of letting me sit on my chair like an old fart I can be sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Simon's face... PRICELESS...

WINNER: I w/ vote for Cook, but b/c all of the teenyboppers have more time and patience than we have, Archuleta w/ win. (I hope not!)

David Cook.

Last night I was chanting both Cook and Syesha.

I wanted so much for those two to be the final two.

Syesha sang her heart out.

I sure hope she has opportunies galore waiting for her.

David A. will be pushed by his father into oblivion I think.

If he wins, his father will sabotage things till David is 18 then I hope he gets the guidence of a true musical manager who tells the Dad to sit down.

David A. is pure elevator music to me.

Great sound but always the same every song.

I hear no change or spin on his songs.

I had to switch channels when Fantasia came on.

I cannot listen to the female screamers. 

And why do some singers bend half way down to the floor when belting it out?

Can't figure that one out.

I loved watching how touched they each were when seeing their fans in their home towns.

David Cook.  I will buy his music.

I haven't watched much of Idol this year, but enough to catch Jason mid-song.  I never heard him do an entire song, BUT....he said something very true for a lot of artists, he (paraphrased) said he needs "to fall in love with a song" and as things sped up and more songs were needed per week along with the other pressures and expectations - he admited it just got to be too much for him. He was ready for it to be over.  The pace got to where he knew he couldn't hang in. He didn't have the time he needed to grow into his songs anymore for his style, and that is just the way the process is on AI.  Move, move, move.  Voice wise though, once Jason puts together an album - even if it takes a year for him to fall in love with each song - I will buy his CD because he is a truly cool soul and I loved his vocal expression in the songs he grew into (the bits I heard).  Some performers need time to grow their interpretations and Jason is one of those. 

David A. sings very well and is sweet as could be, but his voice has become all too predictable. He will be awesome in about 7 years though I think. He needs to live a little.  Experience more life for it to show in his music.  

David Cook has more age on him and more the look, range and creativity with music than David A.  I don't know if winning the "American Idol" title and being a rocker type is a good mix for David Cook though.  Not winning could do him more favors in the long run.

Me, I would definitely buy a Jason CD for some good listening music so I hope he puts one together even if it takes him a year.  

Also, I'd probably buy a Cook CD especially if he starts to vary his vocal dynamics. Like I said, I haven't caught most of AI this year, so I haven't heard the softer side of David C. and he may have already shown his softer side.  If he has, I missed it so I'd like to see/hear it next week.  I do plan on watching next week for sure. 

Random thoughts:

I thought Fantasia was terrific--even the hair!  In a live show, that's what I want to see, something out of the ordinary.  Fantasia should sing "It's Raining Men", a cute song from 25 yrs ago.

I'll bet all three of these finalists have a good career. Syesha is a natural for Broadway, and the Davids have quite the fan clubs.

I love AI, but one of my pet peeves is when the judges--and it seems to be mostly Simon--criticize the songs.  Tuesday night Simon petulantly criticized David A for singing Dan Fogelberg's song--and the producers had chosen it for him!

KLynn, my family and I also watch the reality show "America's Next Top Model" which had the grand finale show last night.  (My favorite won, the one with the well-endowed booty!)

sally