reconstruction or not ?????

Hi Vivian,

I am in the process of reconstruction after 18 months with a flat chest following bilat mast.  I am in my 50s.  I can really understand why you might choose not to have any further treatment and come to terms with having no boobs.  I think I might have chosen this if I were in my 60s.  Not that women aren't still desirable/sexy/whatever as they get older - just that decisions become more clear - and sensible - as you weigh up all your options. 

Having a flat chest means what?  Just having a flat chest.  And life goes on.  Without further surgery, without complications, without the added discomfort (read pain). 

Obviously this is the most personal decision you can make at this time.  Maybe get the information and then sit with it.

Personally ......  I don't think I can say until this whole process is finished and I weigh it up.  But there is a part of me that wishes I had just accepted it and lived with it. 

I wish you well with your decision.

Jan

Hi Vivian, I had a single mastectomy last year in April not long after I turned 50. In the rapid leadup to the surgery I didn't have any idea how I would feel about reconstruction afterwards so I asked my surgeon to save as much skin as he could in case I did decide to go ahead with it.

I had a lot of lymph building up in the months after my surgery and was eventually dx with LE - it's mild but a bit annoying. I have decided not to have reconstruction because I don't want to face more surgery and I have adapted pretty well to my prosthesis. Also, more surgery might worsen my LE. Perhaps one day I might have a simple 'tidy-up' surgery to make my scar neater but I am even shying away from that at the present.

I do miss being symmetrical but I generally speaking I am ok with the way I am. 

Good luck with your decision. We are all different and I think that, as time goes by, what is right for you will become apparent.

gb 

Barbara - what a touching story (I am sorry I called you Erica on another thread) about your mother-in-law.

Vivian - Big decision. I thought that I was going to have reconstruction; however, long story short, big tumor and 3 nodes so I needed rads even though I had a mast (also had proph mast on non bc breast). No expander or implants on the radiated side. I am not comfortable with sacrificing muscle (lat flap, TRAM), not a candidate for DIEP- so I've decided for the time being not to have reconstruction. I've been breast free since age 39 - my husband has actually told me not to have reconstruction, because he does not want to see me go through surgery again. He is a wonderful man who did not marry me for my breasts (obviously, as I was an A cup before bc). I wear prostheses, they look real and I feel comfortable in them. At home, I go w/o them and no one can really even tell. I am active, healthy and happy.

Best wishes with your decision.

I never even considered reconstruction.  I considered a bilateral when I had BC for the 2nd time but the surgeon discouraged me and we came to a compromise.  When I had yet a 3rd round I was adamant that I wanted a bilateral with no reconstruction.

I'm 62, I was never spectacularly endowed, married nearly 40 years to a man who fortunately lacks a breast fixation.  It's been about 3 months since my surgery and I have yet to go get breast forms.   The way I dress (for the most part), no one notices my lack of breasts.  I will get some prostheses because I have some clothes that are just not going to fit right without them, but I have a feeling that they will be spending a lot of time in a drawer. 

Pretty - I am sorry to hear about your new lump. When do you get your biopsy results back? You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I had a multi-focal tumor as well along with my 5cm, I also had a 1cm tumor in there that was undetected until surgery.

Barbara - I don't mind sharing at all. I wear Amoena's Jada 2149 bra; very simple, seamless and tremendously comfortable. I have the bra in champagne, black and burgandy. I will have to get back on the forms - all I know is that they are Amoena as well and are size 3. Wait, I was thinking the info was just on the box, maybe it's on the boob itself - I now have a prosthesis setting on my desk (lord I hope no one comes in my office)...OK - the info has worn off a bit, but looks like Natura Light 2S 447.

Raye

Thanks, Raye, especially for going above and beyond--hope no one wandered into your office while you were re-inserting the breast form.

I have the Jada bra and like it. I wear an Airway Tritex in size 2, which is equal to most Amoena size 3s. I've actually been planning to check out the Amoena Natura later this month, when my insurance lets me get a new pair of forms. I gather they're making it now with a new gel that's supposed to adjust temperature-wise for greater comfort. We'll see. But it looks like a nice form.

 

Hi Vivian,

Most of my no-recon friends here know my story, so Ill be brief.

Three years ago I chose a bilateral w/immediate expanders.  Six months later I had the exchange surgery to saline implants.  The whole process of stretching my muscles out during the expansion messed up my chest, arm, and esp neck muscles.  So this last January I had surgery to take out the implants and remove the excess skin.

Although I still have pain in my neck that probably is permanent, I don't have that horrible tight feeling down the sides of my neck, and the feeling like my foobs are squishing under my arms when I lift anything heavy. I was also having problems with muscle contractions (esp when I was trying to get to sleep) around the implants, which might have been the start of capsular contracture.

My foobs looked fine, but a large part of sexiness is feeling good.  For me, being in pain wasn't sexy.

sally 

I have bilateral mastectomies.

After years of suffering with extremely large breasts, it was a no brainer for me to go with mastectomies and no reconstruction.

I love being flat.

My husband, who is a breast man, has been outspoken from the day I was diagnosed that I should have mastectomies and not have any reconstruction (doesn't want me to have more surgery).

However, like Barbara's husband, he would like me to have bigger prostheses.  I am happy with my A cup size ones and often go totally flat.

It's very interesting for me to find this thread.

I had a double mastectomy almost 3 years ago (only the right boob needed to come off, but I chose to have both off to stop the potential of me to have to go back in a year or two's time).

At the time I was 34, my kids were 4 and 6. I decided not to get reconstructed after my surgeon gave me a list of positives and negatives regarding reconstruction. The biggest lightbulb was the fact that if I got an infection during chemo they would have to come out. I decided there and then not to do it.

I am also not the bravest person and the thought of more surgery down the track filled me with fear.

My hubby says he doesn't care, but....... we don't have a great love life, but then again that could be a lot to do with me now being menopausal and not having a libido (have no desire to do 'it' but I'm offended that my hubby doesn't seem to either!!).

I wear prothestics and even my kids (now 7 and 9) don't seem to notice that I have boobs during the day, but am flat chested in my pjs!!!

A previous counsellor told me that I should really consider reconstruction. I asked her at the time if the new boobs would look exactly as they had before. She told me no, they would be scarred etc, but told me that in clothes, nobody would know. I replied with 'they don't know now!' and she said "very valid point".

Good luck to all us boobless wonders! My oncology nurse and I reckon we should start a shop selling breast forms and bras and wigs and call it 'The Bald and the Boobless'!!!

Hi I had a right masectomy. I am 58, divorced, very happily single, not looking at all.When I told the surgeon that I wanted a bilateral, she discouraged me,and urged me to see a plastic surgeon about reconstruction. She mentioned something about a big scar across my chest. So I proceeded to the plastic surgeon.From the minute he touched me and explained the possibilities-I knew immediately that I wanted none of it. I wanted to run out of his office. He was immensely insensitive, also. He said, step into my lab, and took a picture of me naked. Then he literally grabbed and pinched my stomach, and said I had enough fat for a diep, or something. I had to remind him that it was me he was pinching. The whole experience is one I definately want to forget.But it wasn't just his manner that made me decide against reconstruction. I am sure there are good plastic surgeons around. I just didn't want the extra pain, or possible se's. I didn't relish the idea of being asymetrical.But now it doesn't bother me at all. I have been fitted for a lightweight prothesis.But for some reason I prefer the little puff that the breast cancer society gave me in the hospital. I really like it, it feels like a soft little cushion to lean on, and looks great.Sometimes I do get nervous though about still having my other breast, so maybe somewhere down the road I will have another masectomy.

Vivian - I had a double mastectomy in Dec 2007.  I opted for no reconstruction and am very happy with my choice.  I learned a long time ago that if a man loves me for my boobs, he's in a world of hurt as I age - it was getting hard to find them!  I love the freedom (no-I have yet to get a prosthesis) of no bra (hadn't been able to go braless since 4th grade!), nothing slapping my knees as I walk around the house, and when I lay on my back, I can actually have my arms by my side without the boobs getting in the way.  I also decided that I did not want anything to stand in the way of being able to detect another lump.  Not to mention - I no longer have mammograms (I certainly didn't like my first and only one!). 

However, to reconstruct or not, is certainly a very personal decision.  I, personally, am very happy.

I'm wondering now......will I EVER get comfortable with my new Diep foob? It has no feeling - it's too big - it's too heavy - I can't get Stage 2 until I finish an entire year of Herceptin - and the only bras that fit are stretchy sports bras or camis. My natural breast is a "barely B" and my Diep foob is nearly a D.  Sigh.......I've said it before on other threads that I wish now I didn't bother with the reconstruction. I didn't get a flat tummy out of this either......my abdominal incision opened due to a staph infection and after 3 months of packing, it's finally nearly healed, but my tummy is bulging, hard and distended, and I feel like I'm 5-6 months pregnant. I'm scheduled for a Cat scan next week to rule out a hernia. There's not much I can do about my tummy problem right now - but seriously - if my foob doesn't look feel better after Stage 2, I may end up asking my surgeon to remove it. I've read about women who's flaps had failed and had to get them removed, but I wonder if anyone requested to have it removed because of disappointment and discomfort?

Dakota - my PS told me he gave me "extra" tissue in the Diep breast because he can always make it smaller in Stage 2. The front view of the foob isn't too bad although due to its weight it hangs lower than the other side. But I have a lot of tissue underneath my arm.....even my breast surgeon who did the mastectomy noted that it's so much larger but "don't worry, your PS can make it smaller during Stage2." So I know I'm not just imaging this......my PS says there's still a lot of swelling in the foob, but at this point in time, I disagree with him (as does my LE therapist.) I have a feeling that my PS just gave me a big foob thinking I'd want to increase the size of the original one - even though I told him I don't want to change it at all. OR......he was worried about fat necrosis, so gave me "extra" in case he needed it later.......I really don't know what he was thinking. Every time I see him he acts like everything is coming along so well......every time I complain about how big and heavy it is, he says "give it time, the swelling will come down." Sigh.....maybe I should just shutup already and wait till the year is out. But sometimes I feel so tired of my body.

Thanks again Dakota - for my next PS visit I'll write my questions down on an index card to be mentally prepared! Sometimes, when I get in there, and everyone is so upbeat and cheerful - I actually forget what I want to say! So this time I'll be ready.....because I really need to get answers to my questions!

Hello ladies,

I signed onto these posting boards a year ago when I first had my bilat mast but was so out of it that today is the first day I'm actually using the site.

I'm 52 next month & have not had any recon.   Now I have a slight lymphedema problem in my fingers (I lost 10 nodes on one side).  So I'm putting all my energies into feeling better & I have a fear that recon will be invasive & I don't want to complicate what my body is going thru.

  On the other hand, not having recon is a whole trip in itself, especially in our world.  Seeing bra advertisments everywhere I turn is a nightmare for me.

When my docs look at me strangely when I say no to recon I add 'well maybe later' because I get uncomfortable.  I really don't know if I'll ever consider recon but, right now I feel better just leaving things alone & seeing if I can accept my body as it is.  Also, when I look to consider recon, the info is a bit overwhelming to me with all the choices out there.

What it comes down to is that I really don't know what to do.

Someone mentioned tattoos.  Anyone choose that route?  I'm interested in info about it.

Good luck to all you gals with whatever choices you make.  It's an individual choice & there's no right or wrong.  Whatever choice we make is the right choice at the time.

Tilliemae