Sensible Cents for Singles

I've also gone through various cycles of being frugal and "treating" myself. The old adage that when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping is SO true!

My whole experience made it clear to me that I really did want to move into a larger/nicer/quieter house, and so the day after my lumpectomy, I spent 2 hours in my realtor's office signing the offer papers!! However... now I've got 2 mortgages and not near the energy I used to have to fix up the old house and put it on the market.

Ah life... lessons learned the hard way!!

I can certainly identify with all of you.  While I do treat myself to nice things on occasion, I, too, try to limit my spending, especially since my bc diagnosis. 

I think it's because it was really hard for me to pay off all the medical bills that insurance did not cover during treatment.  I continued to work full time during chemo and radiation.  At the time, and (still) as a single parent, I also had two sons in Catholic high school and was very concerned about making payments to the school as well as medical bills.

And now, almost 2 years after diagnosis (Feb 13 2006), I think more about money than ever.  One son is in college and the other is a senior in high school...soon to be in college in the Fall. 

I also think it's because I fear that if the cancer returns, I will need the money to cover medical expenses again.  While I hope it never returns, I do think about it and the costs involved in treatment.

I too want to enjoy life and travel more because life is really short, but it will take some time for me to pay off some of the bills to be able to do that...But I'm going to remain positive that I can do this. 

Hugs and prayers to all...

I've always been frugal. When I was "young and single" I was thinner than I am now... because I literally could not afford much food. I didn't spend a nickel I didn't have to.

Growing up, my dad was a teacher and my mom a secretary. So you know we didn't have any extra. But they were very thrifty and saved a lot, didn't use credit, and our family had vacations and a home to live in. It was not a bad upbringing.

I got married to a man who made a decent living. We were not rich but we could buy what we needed at the grocery store without agonizing over it too much. But I still did not buy new clothes; I bought all my work clothes at resale shops and loved that I was saving so much $$. But no matter how frugal I was, my hubby was a spendthrift and we never had any real savings.

Fast forward to divorce. I had to get a job -- fast. I had been working part time but that was not going to support me and two kids. So I got a blue collar job that paid a barely livable wage. What the heck, I was used to it. And I got child support. Was able to buy a modest house.

Then boom! BC came along. Had to go on disability -- more purse tightening. Thanks to my frugal ways I had some money in the bank. With child support and help from family I was able to keep my house and stay afloat. But the medical bills were killers.

After recovering, I decided to go back to school for my master's. Well there is not much lucrative to being a student. Struggled some more... In the meantime I met my boyfriend and he eventually moved in, which has helped with the household expenses (not that that is the only reason he's around!). School didn't work out and I worked a series of temp jobs until I got to the job I've been in for 5 months now, the first steady employment I've had in 3-1/2 years.

So no, I can't really say I've ever been truly middle class. Working class is more like. I'd love to be able to buy new clothes (yep, still shop in thrift stores but honestly I do love it). I am not lacking for anything. Seriously I'd rather have more leisure time than more money. My family is far away and I don't have a lot of vacation time to go see them, and that is what I long for more than financial security or luxuries.

This is a great thread.  I had money growing up, then my parents got divorced and everything changed.  Still, I never really wanted for much as a kid.

I got a huge scholarship for college, and out of $135,000 I only had to take out 42k in student loans.  I had normal credit card debt, that did get a little out of hand at one point, but I always maintained great credit.  Always paid on time, but I was living pay check to pay check.

I finished college, and was halfway through my masters, when I realized I couldn't take out any more student loans.  I needed to work full time. 

From the time I was 21-26 I made great money, was living comfortabely, and had gotten my student loans down to about 32k, but I also had credit card debt.

THEN, cancer.  I'm just trying to make my way in the world, and I get fucking cancer.  I went on disability, which we all know only pays 60%, and I was screwed.  I deferred my student loans, and used credit cards to pay bills.  I desperately wanted to file bankruptcy.  I didn't own anything-- not a house, not my car... all I owned was debt.  My father convinced me filing bankruptcy was a mistake and gave me some $$$ to get me by.  By this time, I had an enormous amount of debt.  I decided at 28 years old to withdraw my 401 k.  I thought to myself, people are just starting to get 401k's at my age, and I've been working since I was 16, and if I withdrew the money, I was still young enough to start all over again once I got back on track.

I went back to work, and started digging myself out of the financial whole.  I learned about needs vs. wants.  I didn't complain about driving my car with 150,000 miles on it.  I didn't buy any new clothing that wasn't from target for almost 10 months.

Then, fate twisted things my way. 

My new job paid all my health benefits, and a bigger salary then I'd ever made before.  I survived cancer, and my great uncle did not.  He survived cancer once, only to have bone mets, and die a short while after.  I inherited money that would get me out of debt.

I decided that this was my chance to smarten up.  It sickens me that no one teaches women about money, and how to invest except Suzy Orman.  I read her books, and went on the web site, and got my self a financial advisor.  Instead of wanting new things from a store, I want to add new things to my portfolio.  Just saying that I have a diverse portfolio makes me feel independant, and strong.

I have a roth IRA, which means I am investing in my future.  I am in the market, and on top of my funds.  Yes, I bought some new stuff along the way, but it's not thrown around here or there.  I wanted a watch for a year and a half before I got it.  I wanted my new car for almost two years before I got it.  I watch the market, I pay myself first from my paycheck, I closed every credit card except for two, and I check my credit report, and credit score every month.

At 30 years old, I feel like I've reached a financial level, that I never dreamed possible.  I will never spend money foolishly again.  Now, I sit with a lot of my girlfriends that are younger, and help them make a budget, and a plan for life.  They see stars carrying louis vuitton bags, and chanel stuff, and they think they need to have it...

I'm trying to show them that life has nothing to do with crap like that, and if it does, then there are other ways to get nice bags-- like joining www.bagborroworsteal.com. 

Having a savings account means the world to me.  I have been able to give money to my three best friends who desperately needed help, and that was the best feeling ever.  I know they would do the same for me, and I feel so lucky that I was in a position to help.

Now, I spend my time learning about how much I need to put in my IRA every year to have such and such money when I turn 60.  I can't get life insurance till I'm 5 years cancer free, so I have a back up plan too. 

Everyone keeps asking me what matt and I want to do for our wedding, and they don't understand why I want to elope and save the money for buying/remodeling the house.

I look at money so differently now.  No one ever taught me about having emergency money.  That it should be three months salary.  No one taught me how to pay off credit card debt-- I was doing it all wrong.

Suzy Orman is fantastic.  Her books spell out how to get out of debt, and make a plan for the future.

Before cancer I spent hundreds on my hair, and since cancer I just don't anymore.  It's now the same length it was before cancer, and I refuse to spend $350 at the spa.  You won't catch me running into lemon tree, but I have found a balance.

My next step is the aspect of finances as a couple.  Suzy orman, and Dr Phil say you should always keep your own checking accounts.

I've watched so many friends go through divorce and have no money, and I lived through it with my mom, so I know I have to be smart.  We openly talk about money, but I still can't say I am 100% confident.  People talked to me about a prenup, but I think it's silly, b/c we both have equally the same money in the bank-- maybe he's got more, but I think a prenup is silly.  Maybe I'm wrong.

The biggest lesson I've learned is to take accountability for my spending.  Needs vs. wants.  No clothing that I don't need, that can't be work for business, or that won't last through the years. 

I'm also learning about spending a little extra on warrantees, like on my leather couches, so if they puncture, scratch or rip, we're covered.

Oh, and another thing.  I've upped my insurance.  I didn't realize the importance of being fully covered in every sense of the word.  For just $200 extra a year, I have a huge personal liability insurance policy.

My financial guy said to me, if you kill a family of five, you're covered.  that sounds crazy, but he's right.  I'd rather be covered then risk losing it all.

So there's my financial ramble.  I will try to find some of the links on suzy ormans sight that I think will be helpful here.

Thank you, Marin. I never looked at my story the way you have, but I guess you could say so. It is kind of bittersweet for me; at this point in life (age 45) I believe I should be reaping the fruits of my labors, yet I still feel I'm just "getting started." I resent that a little bit, but it's my own fault.

I have a "guy" (picture my new yawk accent, and its funnier).  Every year of my life I get a great return.  He taught me everything I can use in my life every year that will help with my taxes...

I pay $150, but for me, it's totally worth it.

I just picked up a book today-- I'll let you know what I think, (so far it looks great)

Smart Women Finsh Rich by David Bach-- look for the latest version-

Marin:



Just saw this now



AN EXCELLENT TOPIC



I am not in U.S. but no matter where one is,

do not feel there is enough help out there for women

who go through BC.. then where are they left

some seniors, some with children, all a different scenario

Like some of you here, I had savings

and way ahead .. 3 months, but exhausted

them after my DX of Breast CA. For one, thing

I am older than most of you, and you don't get

back into the workplace, for obvious reasons (full time)



Now, I too have something of a dilemna, however

do best to move forward. Credit cards can really
do a number, and most people have large balances




I actually am going to send out some letters regarding

this(not exactly sure who will be the receipients) but

have a good idea. Doing some consulting about it now.



Best to all, and yes Suzie Orman is great. I also have The Wealthy Barber but am just not in a position any more to invest.



Odd thing is, some of my family members wonder how

funds have gone. They have no idea what it is like to be

ill and have your savings dwindle. One mentioned to me, well surely your investment made money, Yes, but not millions and money soon goes when not working.



Best to all, and may abundance come
to everyone.



Grateful to be here





Hugs

Last fall I was in a nice comfy situtation with plenty of reserve. Then, the day after my lumpectomy, I made an offer on a house and got it!! (emotional spender perhaps?) It is SO good for my soul to be in this house. However, I have not had the energy since then to put my current house on the market... I can last the next 6 months or so, hoping that the raise/bonus come through this spring, but equally fearful of layoffs. <sigh>

Oh well. I can vouch for Turbo Tax -- I've used it for the last 5 years or so -- it's very thorough.

Calif-Sherry, I really related to your post. I had a dream just a couple of nights ago that I decided to quit my job. I don't have a high paying job, but I have a lot of responsibility and it's often stressful because I feel inferior in my department. I am the only one who is hourly so naturally I feel like an underling (whether justified or not) and it bugs me daily. Maybe that is my own hang-up, I don't know.

Anyway, good for you, lots of praise for you, and please let us know how it all turns out.

So I saw this commercial for www.2men1message.com it's a web site promoting this new book by Trump, and that other famous rich guy who wrote the rich dad best selling series...

was thinking of buying it, but wondering if anyone else has read it.

Nope - WRONG! My adjusted gross income (my salary plus $9k I took out of my IRA for living expenses) was $39k and I only got the $300 for me and the $300 for Avery. Of course, you can't get through to the IRS at all!

One VERY frustrated Jaybird!