Jule, how horrible about your grandmother - I am so sorry.  Pepper, I'm not sure exactly what your job is (detective? DA's office?) but I admire what you are doing.

I'm here to express a teeny bit of frustration.  Just came back from dinner with my dbf (and also my son -- oh the joys of dating as a single parent).   DBF came back after DS fell asleep and I tried my darndest to tempt him into my bed.  But he's doing the 20-mile Walk for Hunger tomorrow, and he's one of those responsible, do-what-he-is-supposed-to-do kind of guys -- so he gave me some hugs and kisses and went home to put away his laundry and get a good night's sleep.  Hmmmph.  The fact that I have any libido at all in the middle of chemo is downright amazing to me.  I shouldn't have to sleep alone tonight.  Phoooey.

On a slightly more positive note, he told me that he's finally signed up for the mandatory parenting class that he needs to take before filing for divorce (after being separated for 4+ years).  It's good to know that he's moving forward with the legal side of this (although who knows when his ex will take the class).  Unfortunately, the class meets Monday and Tuesday evenings until late -- so it looks like the earliest I'll be gettin' any will be Wednesday (Mr. Responsible never stays up too late on weeknights).  Grrrrr.

Thanks for "listening," my fellow single ladies!

Lauren 

B.O.B.s -- I never heard that term, very cute!  And not a bad idea....

Marin, this guy sound great -- and there is something to be said for moving a bit slower at the beginning sometimes.  My first date with dbf ended in just a teeny little kiss, and our second "date" was a trip to the aquarium with our kids.  By the time it got physical, it was very intense partly due to the anticipation on both of our parts.  But I didn't want to go too fast - -I had just ended a 10-year marriage and didn't feel ready for an intimate relationship.  So we waited and didn't jump into bed together. OK, it was only 2 1/2 weeks after our first date - so not that long.  But it did feel that the physical and emotional connection moved on parallel tracks, without one getting ahead of the other. 

ENJOY - and I hope the amazing connection continues and progresses!

Lauren

marin  i am not a prude by any means and certainly not conservative at all but i do believe in taking intimacy slow in a new relationship-  thats what makes it so incredibly special when it finally happens naturally -  any of my significant "love" relationships have developed this way -  now i am certainly not putting a time limit on the wait  LOL !  it depends on so many variables but i have discussed this topic with some very close guy friends and NONE ever seem to mind the waiting period-  if a guy is really attracted to you he will stick around and i happen to think have a lot of respect for you

All guys want to be made to feel special and i think that them knowing you dont jump into bed with just any guy you date makes them feel extra special

enjoy all this fun stuff-   falling in love is the best medicine in the world!

Hrmph. I haven't had an opportunity to be bad lately.....

But, I do need some advice!

The guy I was intimate with once last month really, really wants to see me again, which I don't want, and he occasionally sends 'suggestive' e-mails and phone message which I don't like.

(I had a weak moment and while he had a grand time my eyes were closed most of the time!)

Background: we casually dated on and off for about a year and a half about 4 years ago. We kind of stayed in touch, again very casually, through my BC dx & tx and I put him off then by saying I had no libido. (I kind of did, kind of didn't - didn't for him for sure) The sex part was never good for me and that's one of the reasons I didn't keep the sexual part of our friendship going. But, he's interesting, thus fun to be with, hence my letting him into my bed.

Now: he's back in my life, or wanting in anyway. How do I get rid of him without his going berserk? He's acted weird before, when I didn't want to see him, and I'm afraid of him acting weird again. I don't feel threatened but I don't think he'll take too kindly of my telling him I just want to be 'friends'.

What to do, what to do? Any advice experts?????

ACK! I just hit the wrong button and ::poof:: my message disappeared!

Anyway, maybe the "I'm again seeing someone I used to see" might work. He'll be pissed/upset but I don't think he'll cross any lines.

BTW, I've ignored his last two 'suggestive' e-mails.

And speaking of mojo, I really need to get my mojo on with someone soon! The young man I saw a few weeks ago has been busy (?) but I do expect to see him again. He says he's interested but actions speak louder than words, right?

The other guy had exhibited weird behaviour before (I call him Psycho Man) so I really don't want to piss him off but I don't think he'll be okay with a platonic friendship so I just have to tell him that I'm seeing someone else and hope he'll just bow out gracefully.

Chemo brain...heh heh heh...  sorry if I posted this already, but I don't think I did.

I may just get to try out my Mojo!

When I got back from my out-of-state interview last week, I had a letter waiting for me that basically said my contract at work wouldn't be renewed for summer and probably not for fall, so I'm officially unemployed. Then my landlady said she was SO SURE I would get the job that she rented out my room as of August 1. Unemployed and homeless, all in the same day.

I cried on my SO's shoulder -- the LDR one (the guy I really like) -- and he said, "come out here and stay with me. You can stay as long as you need to, as long as you can stand me. No hesitation. If you can get here, you can stay with me."

Just like that.

If I can come up with the gas and motel $$$ to get to Ohio.... wooo hoooo... Talk about some serious Mojo! I've wanted this guy since last August! 

It's all about jobs and money now. 

Wish me luck! 

Pepper, she felt that she could do it because my lease is up August 1. But mostly because she didn't think....she was only thinking about having someone helping pay the mortgage. I had not given notice, and I have two months before my lease requires me to give it (30 days notice that I'm leaving).

I did talk to her hubby late yesterday and he was rather pissed that she had basically evicted me by assumption. I've been living here two years and faithfully paying my bills and my rent every month. So he said, "no you are not being evicted," and the guy the landlady rented my room to will have to stay in a different (smaller) room.  

But I probably won't stay unless I find a local job. I still need $$$! I've applied for unemployment. I'll keep you posted on how it all goes.

And I am looking forward to getting my hands (and lips and other parts) on my SO!  

marin  i always smile when i read your posts  " Rose...I gotta say that I so admire your spirit! In the face of all of your economic woes, you're looking forward to getting laid"  you are too much!!!  i love it!

happy mothers day everyone whatever you may be doing

i am happy to say i am lucky enough to be going out with my mom and dad who are both 80 yrs old-  i feel so blessed to have them in my life

xoxox

julia