my mom, so far away

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annabanana88
annabanana88 Member Posts: 4
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
my mom, so far away
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  • annabanana88
    annabanana88 Member Posts: 4
    edited May 2008

    Two days ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer that is spreading fast. She is starting chemo is a couple days and it's really overwhelming. What makes it worse is that I'm away at college, over 500 miles away and I'm trying to cope without my family or anyone close by. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, especially how to concentrate on school even though all I want to be is at home.

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited May 2008

    Hi Anna....first let me say that I'm sorry that your mom is going through this and I will keep her and you in my prayers.

    I want to tell you something though...My daughter was 1100 miles from me when I was dx'd.  I missed her like crazy and she too was "in school"...actually in training for a management position.  She wanted to come home and stay with me.  You know what...I said "no".  Absolutely not...I didn't want her to lose any opportunities that would impact her future because I was sick. 
    I'm betting your mom (although she surely loves you very much) would feel much the same.  I certainly can't speak for her...I could be wrong but I was happier that my daughter stayed put and finished her training.  I would have felt bad if she had come home and to tell you the truth...I would have had a harder time personally...I don't know how well she would have handled it if she had been here and seen me on a day to day basis.

    Concentrating on school will be tough...stick with the boards here...many women will help you and give you encouragement.  Call you mom...lots...a couple times a day if she isn't too tired.  Make her laugh...it will lighten your heart too. 

    Not exactly finding the right words for you but hang in there...hopefully this will be behind her soon.  If you have questions about her dx you can also ask them here...lots of knowledge. 

    Hugs to you

    V

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  • shokk
    shokk Member Posts: 1,763
    edited May 2008
    ((((Anna)))) so sorry that your family is going to be starting this very scary journey.........this is what I would suggest......first of all you need to contact your guidance counselor and let them know of your family situation......then you need to email your professors and also let them know your mom has been dx and you may need so extra time in getting in assignments......my daughter was a senior in high school (I was dx in January of her senior year) and she used my cancer card for the rest of the year........(in the next few months you will understand what I am talking about).......next I would suggest that you see if there is any kind of support group there on campus for students whom parents are sick......you might be surprise that there is and if not you may want to start one or organize one....not sure how large a college you are attending but the chances are that there are other students that are either going through this or have.......it will give you a sense that you have some control........last but not least don't let this side rail your education......is your mom and dad together.....do you have younger brothers or sisters that are still at home?........your mom is going to have enough guilt (I know this sounds crazy but as mom's we always have guilt and the worse thing you could do is drop out of college.........my daughter ended up going to school in WI and we live in TX.........I know you are scared out of your mind but remember bc is very treatable and you did say it is spreading fast......I'm not sure what you meant by that but even if your mom is stage 4 she can live for a very long time and you will have plenty of time to continue school and finish......that can be your gift to your mom.........and one more thing think about organizing walks.......do the Koman 3 day........get a team of friends together and do something that makes you feel like you are helping your mom.........and one more thing do your laundry before you go home.....Wink.......good luck and I will follow your posts if you need anything.......if you would like to communicate with my daughter I will send you her email.......Shokk
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  • badboob67
    badboob67 Member Posts: 2,780
    edited May 2008

    Annabanana88,

    It must be very difficult for you to be away from your family right now. There is an organization called The National Students of AMF (Ailing Mothers & Fathers) Support Network.  You can visit their website at:

    http://studentsofamf.org/ 

    They have some helpful advice on their site for young people in your situation. I know they have chapters at many colleges and universities; maybe there is one at yours.

    I am so sorry your family is going through this.

    ((((HUGS))))
    Diane

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  • Mary1968
    Mary1968 Member Posts: 58
    edited May 2008

    It is so hard to have your love one sick and far..I live 80 miles from mom and her cancer have progress to her liver.  

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