My sister is not going to get treated

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janetslittlesister
janetslittlesister Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
My sister is not going to get treated
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  • janetslittlesister
    janetslittlesister Member Posts: 2
    edited April 2008

    Hi,

    My older sister has just been diagnosed with advanced breast cancer.  She has lived with incredible pain, both physical and psychological, all her life.  For years now, she has been on total disability and almost completely bedridden.  She has wanted to die all of this time, but is against suicide.

    So her breast cancer diagnosis last week came as wonderful news to her.  She will not be going for any chemo, radiation, or surgery.

    Janet has been taking unopposed estrogen for many years, and has had ongoing vaginal bleeding for all of that time.  She does not go for PAPs, mammograms, or physicals.  She only goes to the doctor to have her pain mediated with medication.

    She mentioned the drastic change in her breast, which has been developing for months, at the end of one of her visits for pain medication.

    That's basically all I know right now.  I am frantic, very sad, very frightened, and angry. Of course I am having the loud argument with myself about what constitutes suicide. I cannot have that discussion with her. It does not work.

    If she uses only oral medication, like morphine, can anyone help me get a grip on what's in store for us in the months to come?  I am in Boston, she is in Colorado.  I will be flying out there when she needs me.

    Thanks, everyone; I know this is a rough read, and I'm very sorry that it's troubling, which I know that it is.

    Frannie

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  • LUVmy2girlZ
    LUVmy2girlZ Member Posts: 2,394
    edited April 2008

    Frannie ~

    I am sorry for you and your family's struggle!  I am not certain just what your sister has...as you mentioned both physical and psychological.  Unfortunately, its the family that has to struggle with all the emotions that takes place of those who I am sorry seem selfish. 

    There are so many women here fighting their battles and they fight so so hard.  Some have victory and some we loose...but we all fought hard.  They have pain both emotionally and physically.  When one wants to "give-up", we don't live their endless pain...so we have no clue as to what they may be enduring.  I don't know your sister nor I have no clue her pain that she has endured so I can not judge so I won't. 

    I am uncertain of the months to come for Janet nor you.  My advice is to seek some type of counseling or support group to help guide you.  It sounds like you have tried, don't give up and don't be hard on yourself.  She sounds like she has made up her mind to go in some sort of piece away from the pain. 

    Frannie I have no clue what you are going through all I know when my Aunt had Hodgkin's she fought so so hard and and exploratory surgery only for them to close her back up and send her home to die. It was so so hard to know that her end was coming near and she died peacefully in her sleep.  I pray for you Frannie...please seek some professional help.  We can just give you "our" advice but it is you that has to live it.

    Much LUV, & blessings! ((gentle hugs))

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