How Long Will I Be Paranoid?

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motheroffoursons
motheroffoursons Member Posts: 333
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
How Long Will I Be Paranoid?
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  • motheroffoursons
    motheroffoursons Member Posts: 333
    edited April 2008

    The last thing I do before I go to sleep each night is a breast self exam.  In my pre BC era, I would do that only a couple of times a year.

    How many years out will it take me to not have fear of BC one of my last thoughts every night before I sleep? 

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  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 2,601
    edited April 2008

    Oh Sharon....I have mets and I STILL "feel myself up" as my DH says, all the time.  I think it has become a habit!  Hang in there.....

    Hugs

    Deb C

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  • djd
    djd Member Posts: 866
    edited April 2008

    Sharon,

    In two diagnoses of BC, I never had a palpable lump.  But that doesn't stop me from constantly checking my remaining breast.  The harder part for me is the constant fear of mets.

    There just isn't an escape from the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" routine.  But, worrying won't change a darn thing.  Easier said than done, that's for sure!

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  • SandyAust
    SandyAust Member Posts: 393
    edited April 2008

    I don't know how long but I can say it does get better with time.  I will be four years out this July and I feel a lot less worried than I did say two years ago.

    What you are feeling (no pun intended) is completely normal given what you have been through.  I think it is really only other people who have had cancer who truly understand the fear it can cause.

    Take care,

    Sandy

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  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited April 2008

    It doesn't make us feel any saner, does it?  Knowing this is a normal process.  Especially when others around us, look at us, like we are nuts at the mear mention of those fears!

    Ladies, Tis so good to hear others say these feelings are real and not imagined, and are normal and I'm NOT INSANE!  I keep trying to tell myself that I only had stage 1, so what's my problem?  Get on with life?  HA!  I can't even convince myself I'm nutty!

    Thanks dears! :D

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  • roseg
    roseg Member Posts: 3,133
    edited April 2008

    I think the anxiety will always kind of follow you around, but I'll say that it improves greatly the longer you go without further incident.  

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  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited April 2008

    I think you need to just accept that you have this fear and it's a new addition to your life. I had told my onc after I was finished with treatments that I was checking every day and she told me to stop. She said to put myself on a schedule of once a week and then once a month..and to stick to it. This has helped.

    I also just feel this is a new "norm" as many have said. We are not who were were prior to our diagnoses. We need to learn to accept this and the fact that we will always have this on our minds. I'm over 2 years out since diagnosis and breast cancer is definitely a part of my life, even though I'm doing well. I went through a time of thinking everything was mets. I think I'm getting over that..but I'm more cautious than I was and bc is on my mind daily.

    One positive apect of this is that it reminds me to LIVE because I have a second chance at that.

    Be well everybody.

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  • NaughtybyNature
    NaughtybyNature Member Posts: 1,448
    edited April 2008

    Sharon: I don't think that we ever loose the fear... I am narrowing down on my 5th year NED and here and there I still think of it... examples: killer migraines (here and there) behind my left eye, lower back pain wherein I can't sleep on my tummy most of the nights, which is my favorite position and especially when the yearly check up comes around....

    But most of all... as soon as the pain subsides... "okay" I say to myself... it's just a migraine, just a pain... nothing else... I assure myself.

    You in time w/ start to let go more and more of that fear, and life w/ return to "normal"... but you must "work" hard on that attitude... positive thoughts, always... because even when I feel the pains here and there, and have bad days, I remind myself that... there is always someone here that is in much worse shape than I am. 

    (((((Hugs)))))))

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  • 2KidMom
    2KidMom Member Posts: 20
    edited April 2008

    Great question....I don't have breasts anymore so no exams for me but I am trying really hard to find a way to not worry about this so much every day!!! 

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