Please keep mom in your prayers, her journey is coming to an end

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cats_love_me
cats_love_me Member Posts: 109
Please keep mom in your prayers, her journey is coming to an end

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  • cats_love_me
    cats_love_me Member Posts: 109
    edited April 2008

    I came up last week to visit w/ mom and her sister had flown in from texas.  When i first got here, she was able to walk on her own w/ some help w/ the cane.  Then a few days later cane and a helper, and then the walker. 

    Then finally she couldn't walk any more.  We would help her into the wheel chair, and transfer her to the bed or chair in the living room.  Then on thursday night it was just to much.  So, friday we were able to get her checked into the hospice of NW ohio.  Its a 24 hour hospice care center w/ like 30 rooms. 

    The first night was really rough.  For whatever reason, the nurses/aids on staff were giving us a rough time.  She had one drug that was prescribed (neurontin) which had given her some side effects that weren't good.  So we repeatadly told them to hold and not give the meds.

    I left to get some food and clothes to spend the night.  Well, the nurse gave her the med, which makes her vision go yucky, and confuses her.  Dad didn't pay attenton to all the meds, she rattled them off real too quickly, I think he assumed they weren't going to give the one drug since we told them no several times.   I was ready to  yank her back home the next morning.  I was getting nasty snide comments the first day, like, we have them on a schedule so pills don't get skippd, and we have doc orders so we give all the pills, and just other really rude things.  Like since they new mom a whole couple hours they new what was best. 

    I didn't make it the whole night, all the comings and going so my brother came in early.  Went back got a few hours of sleep. Talked to my dad about yanking her back home and getting private nurses.  Well, dad really wanted to keep her there, however he said I'm goin to talk to the head nurse.  She had a completely different view of care, than these horrible nurses the night before, and those nurses were removed from mom's care, and some super wonderful nurses took their places.  I only see them on occasion and they keep their mouths closed.  The head nurse was like we don't have a problem holding things, and working with what you want given. 

    So if your in a similiar situation, ask to speak to the head nurse.  Things changed, and things got a lot better.  The most annoying thing was we told the nurses 3-4 times, we didn't want the one med given, and at no time did she say, when it was pill time that dad could refuse it, she gave me the line, well its in the docs orders so I'm going to give it crap!    Not until I confronted her in the hallway, and said, what exactly do I have a to do to prevent mom from getting that dose of med in the morning.  Then she is like well, you could have refused it when i was giving the pills?  Like what the hell did she think we were telling her over and over.  Plus, she was shoving several pills in her mouth at the same time.  She didn't even take multiples together when she was doing better at home.

    Off that horrible nurse,  we have had lots of family come into the hospice center.  Its a wonderful place, all the rooms have a view of a small pond.  Its next to a park/presserve.  They have tons of bird feeders, and squirrel feeders out everywhere.  We brought some sun flower seeds and the squirrels and chipmunks were loading up today.  They have a hospitality room, lots of little sitting nooks outside if you need a break, a small kitchen to reheat in the micro , coffee, tea.  They have a bunch of books, dvd cd's of music movies.  Wonderful walking paths outside.  They even have a resident dog named tanner.  He is a jumbo sized golden retreaver who loves to eat.  If you bring in your dinner, and are having a snack, he stops by.  There are signs up not to feed him, as he has a slight weight problem, he waddles sme.

    Mom isn't able to really chew anything now, she is just taking some really yummy strawberry shake, a little apple juice or sauce and water.   She was taking liquid motrin to help w/ pain besides the liquid oxyfast.  But w/ the liquid motribeing thick she is starting to choke on it.  So they are planning on putting a sub que (sp?) just under the skin to administer the pain meds.  They just aren't sure if she is swallowing, and at night, since its hard to swallow, they have to wake her up, so this will make it easier, so were hoping the doc ok's it tonight.  It scary to think that she isn't getting her pain med.   

    She isn't able to communicate to much.  Sometimes she is able to say a few words.  She is most responsive when we are up close, and it we gently rub her head or cheek

    So please keep mom and the family in your prayers, her journey will most likely only last a few more days.   

    Connie

  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited April 2008

    {{Connie and family}} Prayers for you all and hopes that you have no more problems with nurses and only the best of care for you mom in these days upcoming. 

  • Bernaw
    Bernaw Member Posts: 2
    edited April 2008

    Your mom, you and your family are in my prayers.  How wonderful that all got settled and that you find hospice such a warm place.  Be gentle with yourself as the situation will probably get worse before it gets better.  Know that your mom would want you and your family to keep the warm and wonderful memories and then move forward.  I have found that the ones we love never leave our thoughts or hearts.  Take care and God bless

  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited April 2008

    Connie,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this time. May the loving memories of the past bring you comfort...

    LInda

  • rockwell_girl
    rockwell_girl Member Posts: 1,710
    edited April 2008

    Connie your mom and your family are in my thoughts.

  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 2,570
    edited April 2008

    Connie,

    i hope that this last part of your Mom's journey goes smoothly and peacefully.  I am glad that you spoke with the head nurse and got that stuff straightened out.  Those first nurses were not of hospice quality at all. I hope your Mom finds peace and painfree contentment.  I am praying for your Mom's serenity and for comfort for all of your family.

    celia 

  • Naniam
    Naniam Member Posts: 1,766
    edited April 2008

    Thinking of you and your family as the journey seems to be coming to its close.    Praying for a painfree, peaceful journey for your mom and strength and comfort for you and your family.

    Brenda 

  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 2,570
    edited April 2008

    connie, thinking of you and praying for your mom and you......

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited April 2008



    I said a prayer for your Mom and you

    Although I realize it's not just you two



    But Dad and Aunt and others gathered round

    The globe and present in deep thought and often silent sound



    Wishing your Mom good night yet not knowing when

    The Angels will help her up from her bed



    From this life called Earth to that one named Heaven

    Where many sister angels sign along with brethren



    Tender

  • beergirl
    beergirl Member Posts: 334
    edited April 2008

    Connie, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • luckywife
    luckywife Member Posts: 427
    edited April 2008

    Connie,

    Your mom and family are in my thoughts and prayers. She is fortunate to have you all as her advocates to ensure best care and she must know that.

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

    -luckywife

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited April 2008

    sending prayers of comfort and strength to console you....

    may you know the efforts you've gone to will comfort your mother in these final days -- and be a blessing to your father always.

    you are not alone, but rather surrounded by the company of angels

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2008
  • cats_love_me
    cats_love_me Member Posts: 109
    edited April 2008

    Mom passed away on april 9th at 4am in the morning.  We were all there, dad, brother and me.  The last hours are rough mainly because of the difficulty in breathing.  Her breathing finally was less noisy, and she took one last breath and was gone.

    Its been a busy week or so.  With the funeral planning and starting to pack up mom's clothes. 

    Please keep the family in your prayers,


    Connie

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited April 2008



    So sorry to read this, Connie.



    My condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.



    Your Mom passed with love by her side.



    Tender

  • waterlily
    waterlily Member Posts: 547
    edited April 2008

    Connie-

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Chris51jon
    Chris51jon Member Posts: 7
    edited September 2008

    Connie,

    A huge hug for you and may you feel the comfort of Gods peace.

    I pray for your Mom and her comfort.

    My prays are with you all. 

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