Just to talk...

MamaShift
MamaShift Member Posts: 70
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Just to talk...
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  • MamaShift
    MamaShift Member Posts: 70
    edited April 2008

    Hello everyone,

    I live a million miles away from my mom (I'm in eastern Europe; she's on the West Coast) and I'm feeling really helpless.

    She was diagnosed with breast cancer almost two months ago.  She had a small tumor removed through lumpectomy.  Unfortunately, one lymph node came up positive.  She just got her Oncotype yesterday and it's 24.  

    Being in that intermediate range, she's pretty much been given the choice to have chemo or not.  I don't know what to advise her.  The oncologist said she could do a trial in which a computer would choose yes or no for chemo.  

    She's 66, never did hormonal therapy, has high cholesterol, but totally healthy otherwise.

    I'm not really asking anything.  It's just hard to be so far away and not have anyone to talk to really. 

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  • Hanna60978
    Hanna60978 Member Posts: 815
    edited April 2008

    I'm sorry that you and your mom are apart during this time. 

    Do you know the size of your mom's cancer and whether it is hormone positive or negative?  There is a site called www.NCCN.org  that may help you.  Click on patient info for some guidance.  Sixty-six is not old and chemo might help her a lot.  Her tumor was small and she had one positive node.  Maybe you can talk to her oncologist too for help understsanding your mom's pathology report.  Some cancers are estrogen/progesterone positive and others are hormone negative.  It would help to know what treatment would be most effective for her tumor type.  Why don't you read up a little about different treatment options, then give your mom's oncologist a call to talk it over.  Exchange email addresses too.  In my experience, doctors are very willing to communicate with their patients adult children about things.  Good luck and both of you take care, Hanna    

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  • MamaShift
    MamaShift Member Posts: 70
    edited April 2008

    Thanks Hanna.  I remember her saying that she couldn't have anything with estrogen.  That's all I know.

    At first, the doc said surgery and radiation.  Then when he discovered the positive lymph node mom was sent to the oncologist who did testing. 

    I'm thinking chemo will help too, just because I know her lifestyle isn't great.  If she ate better and was still doing as much sport as she used to, then I might think differently.

    Thanks again.  It helps just to get it out. 

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  • MamaShift
    MamaShift Member Posts: 70
    edited April 2008

    So she has Invasive Lobular Carcinoma and it's hormone positive. She's starting chemo on the 24th.

    I have a question:  I really want to go home early, probably the 1st of June.  I'm wondering how bad this is going to be.  I'm wondering if it won't be a very good atmosphere for my 2 year-old, for example.  

    Is it variable how much pain she'll experience?  Will she be sick for all those 2 weeks in between chemo treatments?   

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  • brendast
    brendast Member Posts: 11
    edited April 2008

    Dear MamaShift,

    I too am sorry that you and your mom are so far apart.  My sister was just recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and had a lumpectomy.  The good news is that it is stage 1, the bad that is an aggressive type of cancer.  She was supposed to have started chemo today, but now has high blood pressure and has to put it off. 

    I am also far away, although not as far apart as you and your mom; I'm in Arizona and my sister is in Pennsylvania.  My mom is there with her now.  Although I cannot answer your question about how bad it might be, as my sister has not started hers yet, my understanding is it varies considerably person to person.  Your two year old might just be the person your mom needs to see right now, besides you of course.

    It might help to explain to her ahead of time, that grandma is sick, but she really wants to see her; just so she doesn't get scared.

    You might ask your mom how she feels about you bringing her. It is also my understanding that there are now quite a few antinausea drugs out there in case the chemo is bad.  I think my sister has taken the attitude of brace for the worst (she has already picked out a wig), but hope and pray for the best; realistic, but not paranoid. 

    Know that this website has been a Godsend to me and you are never alone.  We have all been through it, that's why we're here.  You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Brenda

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