Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Mel wooo hooo on your mom!  You were really due for a good break, and this is an awesome one.  Wonder what happened to the mass? 

Caya Buffalo is a great place to go to school...that is where I did my graduate work.  I lived there for 5 years...that is where I met Matt and where Frances was born.  Tuition might be high, but if things have not changed since last I lived there living costs were pretty low so there will be a good balance.  The schools there are excellent...she will get a great education!  Where does she want to go?

Melia UGH and YAY all at the same time.  I can not even imagine your distress...I would have been very uncomfortable with pulling the drain for sure, but I am glad that pulling it has made him more comfortable.  I had a similar experience with my drains last year....I was dreadfully uncomfortable UNTIL those drains got pulled and then very suddenly I did not even need pain pills any more.  Considering where I imagine his drain was, I can see how it would be absolutely dreadful.  Was the dratted thing still draining any significant amount?  Hang in there Melia...it is almost over......before you know it, he will be healed and you guys can move past it.

Hello to everyone else...Joni I am hoping you are feeling better today.. 

"Cindy, the only good lump is in a jar."

Joni, LOL! That is a great line, I will remember it. So sorry to hear about the diverticulitis, that cannot be pleasant. I'm glad the worst is over. Please keep posting us.



Mel, that is an awesome miracle regarding your mom! How many of us or our loved ones in the past few months have had dire, gloomy doctor predictions that turned out to be nothing or benign (me three times, counting ds's testicular thing)? Just shows we have every right to stay positive til the tests are in, impossible as that may be (admitting status as chief Worry Wart here). I think it was six weeks I had to wait to find out that spine tumor was benign. And Caya, it isn't bothering me quite so much lately but can still feel it when I overdo. I get the tingling in certain postures such as washing dishes, too.



Melia, it never fails to amaze me how we can get opposite medical advice from different practitioners. I would not have known which one to listen to, but sounds like your dh was so miserable he was ready to yank the thing. I'm so glad he got relief that way. This all brings me such a flashback to two years ago. I'm remembering things I'd forgotten. And we were pretty much alone; he was too embarrassed to have many people know at the time and both sons were out of town, no support group then, so it was tough. I think I had blanked a lot of it out. And of course we had no idea I'd be having my own surgery less than a year later and it wouldn't turn out so well.



We have a cold and rainy week here; I'm back to my winter coat. I think the sandhill cranes are regretting their return; I swear they sounded angry as they circled overhead this morning. - Skye

Last night I went to the meeting of my local bc group. The guest speaker was a bc survivor who runs retreats and relaxation seminars for cancer survivors. She did a mini-seminar on stress management and relaxation techniques. She pulled a lot from yoga/meditation practices.

Anyway, she said something that I found very thought-provoking. She asked us to picture ourselves as a glass. She said that our glass should be overflowing. If it's not then we need to focus within ourselves to fill it. If it is overflowing then we have energy/love available to share with and help others. Her point I think was that if you haven't taken care of yourself you can't help anyone else. But the image of the glass overflowing (or not) was very powerful for me. 

Well the OR's in Calgary are all filled to capacity, so I now have to drive out to the mountains to get my port put in.  I will be having my port placement done in Canmore.  This is the little town just on the gates of Banff National Park.

I've never had a port, so I'm a bit nervous, but anything is better than getting stuck every week.

Wish me luck, I find out tomorrow whether I have it done on Friday or Monday.

Hugs to all...Joni

Hi Ta Tas,

Joni, don't worry about the port - it's a nothing little surgery, and it will make life so much easier for you when you get chemo.  Get some EMLA cream and apply onto your skin where the port is, cover with some medical tape or saran wrap.

Mary - There are 2 routes to Teacher's College in Ontario - you can apply directly from high school and do a concurrent program - when you do the B.A. and B. Ed. together - but in 5 years, or you can apply after your 4 year B.A. and then do the one year of the B.Ed.  The commuting to Buffalo won't be too bad - They have it set up so the kids are in Buffalo just one night - they go to classes Monday/Tuesday or Wed./Thursday, then come back to Toronto.  The program is specifically for Canadian students, so there won't be any Americans in her course. (Not that there is anything wrong with Americans, but of course I would like my DDs to meet Toronto boys.)  The school is called Medaille College.  Another college called Niagara University actually runs a Canadian program here in downtown Toronto.  She will apply to that one as well.  And she does her practicum (student teaching) here in Ontario for both schools, so the final semester she will be here most of the time.

Lynn - I know what you mean by being "on" for 3 days.  After we have our Las Vegas meeting, I have to go to work and be "on" for 3 days afterwards.  But that will be okay as I will have just been with all my sisters... having alot of fun, and relaxation.

Hope everyone else is well.

Cindy, I just today read your email - your scare was over before I even knew about it.  Thank God it turned out ok.  And I also applaud you on your eloquent expression of your feelings, and of all of ours at some time or another.

Joni, hope you get your port ASAP, and it will be easy, so don't worry.  That port will be your new best friend.  Thinking of you and hoping your better.

Melia, glad you had the nerve to pull the drain for Steve - and glad it was the right thing to do.  Hopefully things will progress a little more smoothly now.  Take care of you, too, please.

Lynn, what's this about Playboy's gonna be calling you?  You must have really made an impression at your get-together.  Saw the pic and you look great.

Jan, thanks for sharing the image of the glass overflowing - it illustrates the point beautifully.

Caya, keep us posted on Amanda's plans - I'm sure she'll end up in the right place.  What does she want to teach?  Oh, and I tried a piece of chocolate - yummy!  Now I think I shouldn't eat for a week.

Thanks to everyone who shared my relief about my mom.  We don't know what they saw earlier, or what happened to it if it was actually ever there...just glad it's gone now!  And my surgery date is now June 2.  First Monday in June...after 363 days worth of delays.

Mary, enjoy your time with your son.

Hugs to everyone. 

good morning ta tas

Robyn luv the pic so colorful , Joni I had a port , please do not worry about getting it in . I had one , when they put it in I was in a special radiology room and they gave me some really nice drugs too , I did not feel a thing and could see in the screen when they had installed it . Was the best thing for me after all the surgery I had . When you get your treatments the time goes faster as the port allows the "dope" to access your body faster . You can feel the line going into your shoulder , for me it was not bad .

Canmore huh Calgary must be hurtin for hospital care , where are you doing chemo ? Canmore must be getting big to have a hospital .

Just take it easy  HUGS ,,,,, HUGS girl xxxooo

Hey Ladies,

Lynn, I'm jealous of your local get together, I haven't found anything like that here, and of your 70-degree weather!



Melia, I think it's easier to talk to us than your fam because you know we are in the same position, and also there are no potential family complications with us. So many of us have been raised to be the strong ones, the mother figure, but we do need our own "mothering" sometimes. I'm amazed at what this disease has taught me about myself...it's a nonstop learning process. Thank goodness we all found each other!



As for DS update, nothing has really changed; he still has that little, painless round lump, but we are feeling ok waiting a bit til he gets the promotion and insurance for further testing. If it starts to change or feel larger, of course, we will have him back there in a flash.



Robbin the artwork you found is very inspirational.



Caya, that whole college application process sounds so complex. It's great that she can wind up by you for the practicum, though. She sounds like such a bright and competent girl I know it will work out.



Weather is awful; 40 mph winds and solid rain. Grendel is too distracted to do his duty outside so I have to keep him tied up so there's no sneaking off to make a puddle in the house, and then keep taking him out every hour or so. He has no pity on me standing in the wind and rain and does not want to come back indoors. Also while I was taking a shower this morning he got out of the bathroom and dragged dh's kneebrace out of our closet and chewed most of the foam lining off it. I know he gets bored while I'm working all the time, especially on days we can't take a long walk, and I feel guilty that he loved being at my brother's with two dog companions all day. I hope I can make it past his puppyhood! This afternoon we have to go to the vet for his six-month checkup and a booster shot. So that is my rant for the day. Lynn, I'll just daydream and imagine I'm with you in the 70-degree weather. - Skye

Skye- the college application process is more time consuming than complex.  I have been to 2 information sessions this week (one for Medaille College, one for Niagara University).  Amanda could not attend herself because it is her last week of classes and she has been up to her eyeballs in term papers and quizzes.  So guess who gets to go and do the groundwork - moi - OY!!  Of course I will do whatever needs to be done.  Amanda came home last night for 2 days to fill out the application forms, redo her statements of intent/philosophy of education, etc. etc.  It has been stressful for her, because she has 4 finals to study for, but she got most of it done today. 

 She wants to teach primary grades (JK - grade 3).  She has so much experience - between being a camp counselor for many years, a dance teacher, volunteering with a non-profit literacy group, volunteer teaching in a couple of public schools for the past 2 years etc. etc.  Her reference letters are glowing.  I'm sure she will get into one of the Buffalo colleges.  God Bless America!!

Joni - I love your new avatar - you look great!! Keep the faith, we are all with you 100%.

Mel- see, those creme eggs are really special.

Lynn - I feel for you.  We had issues with Cassie, although never at school - only here at home.  She smartened right up when Allan had his aneurysm - she was amazing when he had some of his "episodes" before we knew what it was - Her CPR training came in handy and she was great. 

Tonight we are taking Cassie out to a nice trendy restaurant for her birthday.  She doesn't know Amanda is in from school and will surprise her at the restaurant.

Amera - We must have posted at the same time.  Remember - 80% of lumps are B9.  I know it's easy to say, but please remember that.  I also think our oncs. have to be extra vigilant, and yes probably the breast surgeon is more adept at diagnosing "lumps" - but the tests would have to be done nonetheless.  The Ta Ta worry brigade is on duty - I'm sure Rebecca our head fretter will be checking in soon to offer words of comfort.

Yup, breast cancer, the disease that keeps on giving.

Amera -

Talk in circles all you want to sweetie.  That's what we are here for.  Nobody knows this better than we do.

xo

ARGH Amera!  You poor thing...while I am sure that it is fine, it absolutely stinks that you have to go through all this AGAIN.  The fear and uncertainty are worse than anything else.  At least you have a mammo/US in the very near future.  Do they read them for you on the spot or do they make you wait?  Well, sending hugs your way....

I do a have a chuckle to share with everyone...and for once it is NOT Owen-related!  

This semester has been a bumper crop of plagiarizers...so far I have nailed three of them.  This is NOT my favorite task, and cheating of this type is a real pet peeve of mine so I am quite skilled at "getting them".  Well anyway, this particular student answered a question on religious freedom by copying and pasting material from a website.  So I printed out the offending passages, highlighted the matching paragraphs in his essay and assigned him an F.  When I handed it back to him today he had two things to say for himself.  The first was "can I do it over?" (answer = NO!).  The second was "well I did the same thing on my last paper and you did not fail me, so why is it a problem now?"

ummmmmmm  hmmmmmmmmmm lets just say that I gaped helplessly at him for a few seconds before I have him my professional answer (with a perfectly straight face, thank you very much)....and then I spent the rest of the day howling with laughter.  OY! 

In other news I just found out today that I am to have the entire summer (4 months!) off because there are no courses available for adjuncts.  Yay/Blech.  I have mixed feelings, but I am trying to be excited and happy to have the time to myself, although I will miss my classroom.  I am thinking that I will have to come up with a project for myself...I was considering writing something but I have no clue what!  Anyway, one of these days I really have to get a real job...... 

Yes, they will have a radiologist on site to read my scans. However, this is just like the last time. Lump was felt but didn't show up on mammo...ordered ultrasound which was inconclusive, which lead to the biopsy. My onc said it didn't feel fluid filled so my fear is that it will need more testing to determine just what it is. I don't think they can diagnose fiberous lumps with just the ultra. Honestly, I am not *all* that worried. But if it leads to a biopsy and more waiting, I will be a wreck.

Mary,

Lunch with a friend sounds like more fun than exercising. Have fun at the wedding. 

Caya,

That sounds like a great plan for Amanda.

Mel,

I am so glad for your mom. Now you will not have to worry so much about her. I am so glad you have a set surgery date.

Melia,

I am so glad Steve is doing better. 

Lynn,

I know it is very tough with a high schooler, but I promise it WILL get better. Hang in there. Hugs to you.

Amera,

Special hugs to you. I think oncologists have to check every suspicion out for fear of being sued if they miss anything- especially for us. It is true that 80% of lumps are B9. We will be with you. Keep sharing.

Rebecca,

That is great news about your implant. What a relief!!

Your story is precious. I can't believe there are many "clueless" college kids.

Skye,

It WILL get warmer and Grendel and will have fun days outside soon. 

Joni,

I have been thinking of you. I also had a port and I think that was the best decision I could have made. It was so much easier than being stuck in different places each week. Hugs to you.

Now I will go back one page and see if I missed anything. 

Love,

Viddie 

Mel,

I was thinking about the mass on your mom that disappeared. It makes you wonder. 5 years ago, before Ed's diagnosis, my mom's doctor told us that my mom had a mass on her pancreas, and he was sure she had pancreatic cancer. They did a biopsy, but it came out benign. He then told me that he might have missed the spot when he did the biopsy, so that didn't mean she didn't have pancreatic cancer. He told us that she was too old for the Whipple surgery so we could only wait to see if things got worse. Quite pessimistic. Guess what? Six months later at her next appointment, the mass disappeared- never to return.

Are doctors too quick to diagnose? Can  our bodies fight some tumors if given the chance? Makes you wonder.

My kids left yesterday. I loved having them, but quite honestly they exhausted me. I think Meri wanted me to make her bf and her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I think she was disappointed when I ordered pizza the first night. The second night, after spending from 3-8 at the outlet mall, at their request, we took them to Panera Bread. I just didn't feel like having a big meal after shopping all day. Mainly we are trying to watch our pennies. These vacations are costing a lot, so we have to cut some corners. Meri also asked us for our second car, a 96 camry. Since we cannot help her with her graduate school expenses, we decided to give her the car. Now we have to buy another car. That will not be cheap.

When she visits her bf's parents- his father is a doctor- they go all out for her and always take them out to expensive restaurants- I cannot compete. Ed is retired and I am only working part-time. Our vacations mean a lot to us, but I think that if we can afford vacations, Meri thinks we can afford to be more generous.

Ed does not have a pension- we only have our IRA. We are doing okay and we do put our vacations on our priority list, but that is our choice.  

Enough complaining.

We are having a very nice time. 

Love,

Viddie 

Joni, Isn't it a relief to finally have a plan. 

If you want some easy patterns for hats, I can email a couple to you. I followed some links from the Renewal and Recovery section of the main website here last year and found them. I tried again just now and couldn't find a single one of them. Good thing I copied them into a document on my computer.

My favorite hat is the one I made with a variegated worsted-weight cotton yarn with mostly double crochet. Instead of crocheting the flower to decorate it, I wove a ribbon through one of the rows. I get all kinds of complements when I wear it.

The rest of you take care.