Well, this is just a hell of a way to live

OK, I count my blessings. I know that I am extremely fortunate for everything I have but I just need to vent after a really difficult week.

As I said on a previous thread, I had back pain for months and finally went to my PCP and my breast surgeon who talked to the onc who said, "Bone scan". So, last Tuesday I have my bone scan. Finally on Friday I connect with the onc to say, "Your back looks fine. I know it's nothing but there's something in your right femur." Fabulous. Had to get an x-ray.

Like a complete idiot I went onto the hospital computer to see my results and it wasn't exactly like she said it was and the picture was just too scary with this big white hole in my right femur.

So, Saturday I go to the hospital and all weekend have myself ill, dead and buried. I called the onc office at 8:30 this morning and, whew, at 9:07 there was a message from the nurse that the x-ray was fine. I called back to see if there's anything else we have to do now so that I can stop worrying (I've been having pain in that hip too but I know it's soft tissue - of course, until this weekend when I was convinced it was not). She said no but she'd check with the doc later.

I may have said this already - it's pretty strange when the best case scenario is that you go back into the world and wait until the next thing that you would normally ignore becomes a crisis.

There are times that I just hate this f-ing disease.

Oh, the nicest thing just happened. One of the nurses from the hospital where my onc is working today (and where I had my chemo) just called to tell me the same thing.

OK, on to carrying on.

Thanks for listening,

Jorf