Lets start another story, please? I'll start.
Comments
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I managed to get the Bates Motel to rest and decide my next move. Oh boy do I need a shower. I sure have a funning feeling about this. I can't shake this feeling well off to the shower and to ..........
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get a fresh start, a new lease on life! I set out to go see a fine Plastic Surgeon for my "new set" I drove to this beautiful, youthful palace with fountains and soft elevator music. I approached the PS and said................
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"hey babe, how about some afternoon delight?" He politely declined but did offer me some really good....
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Starbucks coffee. I was so wired I ran out and down the street and straight into the arms of..........
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Dr. Phil, I told him of my story and getting a new lease on life and he invited me on his show. Should i take a chance and....
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Tell of my journey.I believe I will if his lovely wife will set with us. I forgot to ask what i should wear maybe my.......
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thongs! ..... I hate it when my toes don't show...(and you thought otherwise!
) w/ a nice white crisp sun-dress to show off my new "job" that way my bald head won't be such a distraction...then again Dr. Phil has the same "style" Perhaps he can guide me on this new life ? After all, Oprah loves him....he can't be all that bad right !? I arrived in a limo and...........................
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felt like a princess. What would America think of me. I was seated next to Dr.Phil and when he asked me the first question I lost my voice. I thought maybe I could do sign language oh my. You will never believe what I signed.YES it was..........
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" Thank you for allowing me to express my beans, I am so honored to be on your donkey " Dr. Phil was amazed at my hidden talents as were I....that was a CLOSE one but I managed beautifully I might add! I don't crack under pressure unlike ................
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Some govenors. I am pure as driven snow. Well I am you must believe me.Why wouldn't you........
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believe me. Oh no, I just realized that everyone hunting me will know i am in New York City now. I must....
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get in the limo, enjoy some champagne and head for California! I drank waaay to much bubbly now I........................
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must make sure I don't whack the limo driver on the back of the head and carjack the limo - it would just be my luck to get pulled over and get a DUI so I just need to stay sober enough so that I can...........
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concentrate on not vomiting ! So, I started to sing..............
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Another ones bites the dust. I wonder if I have enough money to call ......
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"Johnyyyyy depth! Heth the one I wreally mith...oh yea da bubby isth kicken in."
Then I puked all over the limo driver and..............
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started to cry i didnt do it . they did it the pink elepahants . I opened the door fell in the street and .........
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then I started to laugh uncontrollable that I peed my white crisp dress from the Dr. Phil show ! Then I ..................
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woke in the bed of ellen degeneres she said it is ok . I never ......
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peed the bed before ! OMG I am so sorry Ellen! She said, she woke up due to my mumbling not the urine. It didn't even bother her she just rolled over and went back to sleep!!! That woman.........
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snores to the song moon river. i need to change but what can i put on maybe....
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a pair of Ellen's pants and one of her t shirts.. I know, I know, I might look gay, but I'll get out of this nightmare alive!
Anyway, I always wanted to try the gay lifestyle, and since I just slept with Ellen DeGeneres....
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Who cares what I LOOK like! I dressed all in her clothes including her black Ellen underwear and she woke up looked me up and down and said..................
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"we have GOT to get you onto America's Top Bald Model!" So we jumped back into the limo where a nice man served us broccoli quiche for breakfast. Suddenly we heard a loud shout, and we rolled down the windows to see...
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It was Tyra Banks she said she was hosting a new show TOP Bald Model and had got a call from Ellen. She said .......
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you will be a perfect example of the type of model we want, with your bald head you need lots of makeup and huge earrings and you will be so hot. You will need some new clothes and spike heels. We also need to show some sassy personality. I wonder.....
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if you have some other bald friends. I said oh do I. She told me to ......
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call all my friends and come in for an interview. Also got a call from my private eye buddy and was told no one is after me anymore so I can go home but my life has been so much more interesting. Not sure if I am ready to.....
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give up the glamorous life of a dick (that's slang for private eye) and anyway, once Johnny Depp sees me on America's Top Bald Model I know he'll cancel all those restraining orders he has against me and send me a plane ticket to..............
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Bora Bora so I can lay in the sun and relax. I need to put lots of sunscreen on my head. I hope it is quiet there and then I will
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