SURVEY;Since your diagnosis has your view of life changed?

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femme
femme Member Posts: 262
SURVEY;Since your diagnosis has your view of life changed?

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  • femme
    femme Member Posts: 262
    edited April 2008

    I have noticed that since I was diagnosed with LCIS in Nov 2007, my feelings about my role on earth and the life I am leading have changed. (I did have a PBM and an awful failed reconstruction).



    I am much more grateful for life itself and find that I do not get bent out of shape with small things. I also feel a need to be more compassionate towards my fellow man/woman and unless someone really does something obnoxious, I am more tolerant. I do not however, have much tolerance or understanding for pettyiess and mean spirited behavior.



    For those of us who have had a diagnosis of bc- insitu or invasive, do you see that this has changed the way you now see the world?

    femme

    femme

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited April 2008

    I don't think my LCIS diagnosis changed my philosophical or religious outlook. Perhaps I have become less judgmental about other people's lives. On the other hand, I'm sure that people who know me would say I haven't changed how often I get angry inappropriately or say the wrong thing. My LCIS diagnosis brought up some old issues.



    I don't think I have a role on earth. I don't really understand what 'grateful for life' would mean for me. Maybe I am better now handling people's health issues, and maybe I respect them more. I think other people will always have many strengths where I have weaknesses.



    I probably haven't thought this through enough.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2008

    Leaf....wow....I would never have thought that. To me you certainly do have a purpose and with out you even knowing it you already appear to be fullfilling it by supporting so many people here with your knowledge, encouragement and kind words. Now you may think that's nuts but you will never know how many people whose lives you've touched by just reaching out as you do. What better purpose could that be??

  • Tigwin
    Tigwin Member Posts: 275
    edited April 2008

    Great question.  I am a two time cancer survivor I had my first cancer in 1989.  I was only 28 years old and it changed my life for the better in so many ways.  I lost and gained friends which to me was good since I could weed out the ones that seemed to take instead of give.  I did not see that before cancer.  Now with my second cancer, breast I am so much better to handle what is coming before me.  I still believe good things are coming out of it.  My family and friends are so supportive...I keep the good ones!!  LOL

    I also use to live in the fast lane thinking I had to have everything and go every where.  I still like nice things I just do not need them to make me happy.  I always thank God for giving me a second and now thrid chance to improve my relationships with my family and friends and live a better life.  I do have way more patience then before and I take time to enjoy life and moments rather then race through them. Enjoy the change...it is wonderful.  Peace !

    Shari

  • Lisa9753
    Lisa9753 Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2008

    I do find that having breast cancer has changed me in a few ways.  I have lost tollerance for nasty people.  I immediately distance myself from them.  I actually walked off a job due to a nasty boss which I never would have done before bc. 

    On the good part, having breast cancer has made me realize that I shouldn't be afraid to try anything.  What is the worst that will happen, I will fail?  I had wanted crown moldings put up in my house, had the wood in the garage for like 5 years, but was always afraid to try, for fear that I would fail.  Something with the bc made me no longer afraid to try and boy am I glad I did.  I tried in one room, figured out how to do it, now have crown moldings all over my house.  It has given me the strength to try all sorts of new things.  I'm not afraid to try anything now. 

    Lisa

  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited April 2008

    Currently, the only way I think I've changed, is that I am WAY more tolerant of drivers.  After attempting to drive while in that frame of mind of being newly diagnosed and knowing how my mind wanders and I forget WHERE I'm going, I'm often telling my dd or dh to relax when someone does something stupid, like not taking off at a stop light or such.  I remind them, it might be me or someone who's been newly diagnosed or dealing with chemo-brain.  Sad and scary to think how many people with 'issues' are on the road. 

    Oh!  And a biggy for me!  I try to say and smile at EACH person I see heading into or out of a hospital or clinic now.  I remember feeling so alone and like everyone knew and how no one looks you in the eye, but I would look at everyone wondering if they.......  So now, I try to make eye contact and say Good Morning, or Hello to each.  Its funny the subtle shock it causes in many.  Especially the elderly.

  • yellowrose
    yellowrose Member Posts: 886
    edited September 2010

    Compassion and understanding for hidden disabilities is higher.  I don't tend to make assumptions when someone is rude, who knows what stressors they have going on in life.  I too, try to make more eye contact and smile and greet folks while out and about.

    I do have way less patience with medical folks who treat patients badly and have spoken up for one or two patients that needed assistance from rude caretakers.  I complement and thank medical people who practice compassionate care.  I don't take medical care for granted anymore.

    Almost all my friends and family have remarked that my personality is more laid-back (I was really hyper type A personality).  Life is just too precious now. 

  • Kimber
    Kimber Member Posts: 384
    edited April 2008

    I agree, I feel a little more laid back and I don't sweat the small stuff. I also try to remember what other people may be going through when they don't drive well or they are distracted. The day after I was diagnosed, I had lunch with two new friends who I met through my daughter's class at school. When I shared my diagnosis, one shared that she had to have an emergency appendectomy and was called back a wk later and told she had cancer, ended up having 48" of intestines removed. The other gal had had a brain tumor and they had to break her nose and go up to her brain that way to remove it. So I have learned that EVERYBODY has a story, and in a way we are all survivors of something. I had always thought these two women had perfect lives with no complications.



    So I guess I have changed in the way that I give people a break. I used to be pretty judgemental.



    I am reminded of a paradigm I read in Steven Covey's book about a guy on a subway who just sat there while his two small children ran wild. An aggravated passenger said to him "don't you think you can get a grip on your children? They are annoying everyone!" The man said "I am so sorry. We just came from the hospital where their mother just passed away."



    leaf, you haven't thought it through enough. People on these boards depend on you and your comments and knowledge. You have been a phenomenal help to me and I know a lot of other people. You are amazing and you can rest your head at night knowing that you helped someone EVERY DAY. How many people can say that???

    Kimber

  • femme
    femme Member Posts: 262
    edited April 2008

    I agree, Kimber!

    Leaf you are our resident sage. You are knowledgeable, and so generous and kind with all of your information. If you never did anything else in your life, your input on this board has positively touched so many of us. Be kinder to yourself, Leaf!

    femme

  • Lorax
    Lorax Member Posts: 19
    edited April 2008

    Leaf,  you were one of the first people that responded when I first found this site and started asking questions.  You are always validating others and responding in thoughtful, meaningful, helpful ways.  Listen to what others are saying about you and take it to heart! 

    Laurie 

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited April 2008

    Thank you all for your support.

    Well, its just a rough, mixed up time for me. My answers may make a bit more sense to you if you know that I'm an agnostic (which means that I don't think its possible to decide whether or not there is a higher being). (I'm not trying to convert anyone else.) I have a lot of issues with my family, and am trying to support my friend who has terminal cancer, though she's still driving (sometimes) and ambulatory. I have new (non-bc) health issues too, for myself.

  • Kimber
    Kimber Member Posts: 384
    edited April 2008

    leaf,

    I hope you are OK and your new health issues require nothing more than a band aid.

    Be gentle with yourself,

    Kimber

  • kcq
    kcq Member Posts: 166
    edited April 2008

    You have NO idea how much!  And the thing is -- the changes are NOT"forced"--my whole being and attitude has just changed.  I am much "milder".  Some changes may not appear to others as good ones, but it is what it is.  I dont obsess over exercising like I used to and I dont obsess over eating the "right things" anymore.  I did all of that before my DX and it didnt keep the cancer away, so now, I just do things in moderation.  I clearly do not get upset over things like I used to.  I just figure---life is short--be happy.  I can think that because as you all know----we truly understand the saying "LIFE IS SHORT".

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