Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Tina, here's praying that your appraisal comes in good.  Those have been tough lately as they won't let you go back very far for comparables.  So I'll pray extra hard.  Be careful driving back.

Caya, I love Eaton's - we always go there when we go to Toronto.  Toronto was one of our favorite getaways (bc - before college - or paying for it for our kids).

We went to Ann Arbor today to help my nephew put an offer in on a house.  That was fun and then we had a lovely dinner at a restaurant called the Gandy Dancer.  Also DH surprised me and bought us a bedroom set.  It is being delivered Tuesday.  I guess he got the message with me being so in the dumps.  I hope I like it.  I'm going shopping tomorrow for some sheets and stuff. 

My hip is still bothering me and I googled Tamoxifen and joint pain.  Even though the drs won't agree, there seems to be 10 to 15 percent of women who have this problem with the Tamoxifen.  The problem is worse with Arimidex and Femara, it seems.  Some have even stopped taking anything which I won't do.  I know I could get some Celebrex but that bothers my stomach.  I just hope it doesn't get worse.  Exercise seems to help - sitting is the worst. 

Tina, DC sounds like so much fun.  You should get lots of visitors there too.  Just be prepared for some hot summers.  Is there a pool nearby your new house?  Hugs and prayers for all

Wow, it's been quiet!  Just had to share this. I think I told you about a friend recently dx. She is having a really hard time of it. Her original dx was stage 3, then another doc said stage 2, then they thought they saw spots on her ribs so it was stage 4, now, after surgery, she's at 3b. Long story short, she started chemo last week (I couldn't believe they didn't wait a bit after the surgery) and I am sending her my old scarves.

I went to the attic to get them to wash and iron and let me tell you, I got the strangest feeling seeing them. Some were still tied into a head covering shape. They are actually really pretty and I condsidered keeping a few. But ultimatley, I think they are better off with someone who can use them and will not feel sick at the sight of them. At least not until after she's done with treatment.

But how's this for ya? I keep feeling really strange about sending them. Is it good karma to share? Tempting fate to give them away? Good lord, they're just scarves, but really, they are so much more than that, know what I mean? You girls can surely relate.

Some of them were given to me by a two time survivor. UGH!  I kinda, sorta wish I'd kept them in the attic. On the one hand, last year seems like a lifetime ago. But seeing those damn scarves brought me right back. And of course, this is my scan/appt month. I am already getting anxious. I suppose this will be the way it is every 6 months for a while though. This sucks!

So nice to have others understand.

Amera (hoping this yuck feeling goes away soon)

Amera, I know that feeling.  I have all these gorgeous scarves and I don't want to part with them, yet I can't bear to put them on.  I have a to die for (almost! silk Coach one I treated myself too but I now feel like a gypsy w/them on.  All I need are the big gold hoops to complete the look.  I hear you on being paranoid about tempting fate, too, by parting w/them.  I've had that feeling too.

Shanty town sounds great, R.  My cousins and I used to play under my grandmothers dining room table.  We'd take just about EVERYTHING out of her bedroom and set up shop under one of the four quadrants under the table and we'd set up our "genie bottle" apartments.  This is during the I Dream of Jeannie era.  I can't believe the mess she let us make.  She was never much of a housekeeper, so she didn't really care, but we went crazy.  We'd take every fancy perfume bottle, vase, whatever...  some of my best memories though.

Mary, I think my appraisal should be fine as the tax rolls have it at $470 and I sold for $465.  The new house has a community pool four doors down.  It's perfect.  And I really have little to zero yard, so not much yardwork either.  Good for me as I have a bad enough time handling inside. 

Oh, and Rebecca, you did FABULOUS at holding it together this weekend.  Pat yourself on the back.

Tina - that is great about your buyer wanting to buy alot of your stuff - less for you to pack and schlep.  And then you get to buy fresh new things.

Amera - I have a superstition about my wigs - I have them up in my closet - along with all my little caps and scarves, out of sight - I don't know, I just have this feeling that if I keep them, I will not have a recurrence .  You know, you don't need them, so why tempt fate?  I know it's a bit silly, maybe when I'm past the 2 year mark which is considered critical for Her2+ cancers, I will  relax more.

Rebecca - any news?  For some reason I think I am not getting your posts on the private group.  I hope all is well.  Love the stories about your kids and their activities.  Owen is a hoot. My girls used to love building forts out of cartons too.

Mary - the Eaton's chain of department stores in Canada closed up over 5 years ago.  The Eaton Centre in downtown Toronto is still called that, but there is no longer an Eaton store there.  The two big department store chains in Canada are the Hudson Bay Co. (The Bay) and Sears.  Neither are as nice as the US department stores like Nordstroms, Macy, Dillards etc.  I very rarely go in them to clothes shop.

Very quiet here. We took out my BFF and her hubby for dinner on Saturday night to an upscale Greek restaurant. Yesterday we kind of laid low, went to my MIL for dinner.  I have been very tired a bit achy since my Herceptin infusion on Thursday.  I'm so thankful that I have only 2 infusions left.

I hear you guys on the scarves...I keep some of my favorites on a hanger on the back of my closet door.  I keep thinking I will wear one on a bad hair day, but I too feel like a gypsy.  I have the rest of them folded into a large shoebox and tucked deeeeeeeep under my bed.

well, I got the formal all clear from my onc yesterday afternoon.  He confirmed that the bone scan was normal, and my bloodwork was ok except for one of my liver enzymes that was very slightly elevated. He said that since the other liver enzymes were normal, and it was not really that high (normal is 37, mine was 41, and it does not become worrisome unless it goes above 50) it was unlikely to be anything of concern. We are going to re-do the bloodwork at my next visit.  In fact, my estradiol is now in the high normal range...down from the ridiculously high number I got the last time it was tested.  I guess my body is finally readjusting and getting back "into whack" after being out of whack for so long.  cool!  now all I need to do is get those *$#@ periods under control......yeck

ok, feeding time at the zoo..have to get the kids fed and off to school!

Caya, have you checked your spam folder for the private list messages?  They might be getting flagged as spam.

HUGS to all of you! 

Rebecca - Yay on the all clear!!  I wouldn't worry about that slightly elevated liver enzyme either... and Jan poses a good question - does the doc have any idea what is causing the back pain/tingling?  Has it improved at all.  Might be time to go see a chiropractor if you don't have much improvement.

Tina - I think the standard of counting how far "out" you are is from your surgery date - My mast. (and Jan's) was Dec. 18/2006 - so I will be 2 years out this Dec.  -  and believe me I wish a few of the US dept. stores would set up here - there were rumours a few years ago that Bloomingdale's was interested, but nothing came of it.  I mean we have alot of the chain stores now like The Gap, Old Navy, Linens 'n Things, Bath Bed and Beyond, Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch etc.  My girls are dying for Victoria's Secret up here, we have La Senza, but it's doesn't compare.

Hi Ta Ta's,

Rebecca, yay on the all clear! whew! 

I have all my scarves packed away in a 'cancer box' in the basement.  I put all my books, scarves, etc. in the box after I finished treatment.  I figure that someday I'll know someone who will need those things..although I would love it if I never had to give it away.

We're back from NYC and had a great time!  Lion King was fabulous!  Ally really liked it too. We spent 2 hours in 6 different lines to get to the top of the Empire State Building only to spend about 15 minutes outside because it was sooo cold and windy, just to get in line AGAIN to go back down..ugh!  We then spent the rest of the day shopping and eating.  We ate lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp...Ally liked that.

I'm sorry I have not been responding to the ta ta emails.  I must admit that I have not read them all.  I get sooooo many work emails every day and silly as it is, I find it harder to open/read every email than it is to read on this board.  I just can't keep track.  So hugs to everyone that needs one, and congrats to everyone that deserves one!

love and hugs,

Lynn

UGH Joni. That just, well, there isn't a word that fits. I am so sorry to hear you'll have to go through another bout of chemo. I didn't do Taxol but I imagine that doing it at a different time rather than right after AC has got to be some easier.

There may be no cure, but darnit, there is treatment. Silver lining?

Here are some big cyber hugs for you. Damn cancer.

Amera

Oh Joni, I am sooo sorry you have progression, I can't stop my tears!  I hate cancer! 

I didn't do taxol either. I did do taxotere, which is related, but did it along with cytoxan, so I don't know which side effects were from which drug.  I'm so sorry you have to do chemo again, but if it stops the progression, then that's a good thing!

I am sending you huge cyber hugs!  I love you and hate that this is happening to you!

Joni, I have the same sentiments as everyone else.  I do believe you'll get this under control with this next round of tx.  I did Taxol.  It was cumulatively tiring.  I didn't get tired until round 7 or so.  I did...OMG.  I can't remember.  This must be like having a baby...you forget the bad parts.  I think I did 12.  Yes, that was it.  I haven't heard of that G drug, but I'm going to google.

I know you're having one of the hardest days of your life, but I promise you, you'll feel good and happy again.  Human nature doesn't allow us to stay down for too long, thank God.  You are a fighter, you LIVE life and you will continue to do so.  Don't rule out Vegas so soon, Joni...  I think you'll make it.  XOXO  Love, T

Joni, I had 4 cycles of Taxol after I had the 4 cycles of A/C. I don't know what Gemcitabine is either. In some ways Taxol was easier on my body, but it had some new not so fun SEs. I took folic acid and L-Glutamine from the Dana-Faber Neuropathy regimen to counteract the neuropathy I had.

Add my hugs to the others.

Lynn, I'm glad you said something.  I was going to say something tonight anyway, but now I know I'm not the only one.

I think the emails are great for things that we really don't want to be read by anyone else, but I really miss "US" on the boards.  I find that I lose the sense of continuity when I can't scroll back and forth between all the messages, see who said what when, look at the avatars, etc.  I find opening all the emails more of a chore, and I simply cannot save all of them, so I delete and they are lost.  It's just my opinion (and Lynn's, it seems), but I would like to suggest that we consider coming back here to keep in touch, except for trip related things, or personal things that are definitely not for public viewing.

One bit of news here - my PS's nurse called me yesterday with the news that the PS has decided to be out of town the week of May 19, when my surgery is scheduled.  I can either have my surgery a week earlier or a week later.  The decision is complicated by my mom's situation.  I found out today that she didn't even HAVE a colonoscopy last week like she told me, she just had a barium enema!  They will do a colonoscopy Tuesday, which means they won't have the path report till Friday, which means they won't even decide what they will do with her until the next week, probably.  I may need to be there, and if I need to go it will have to be before my surgery rather than after.  What to do....

Ahhh, Joni.....I'm with the others, holding you close and sending so much love. I'm so sorry that you have another battle to endure. But you will - endure that is. We won't quit pushing you along when you need, encouraging you to rest, being your sounding board.

Hang on, Joni. Or let go....we'll catch you.

Cindy 

Joni, Our sweet girl. I did 12 taxols after my a/c. I was very tired by the end, but the neuropathy that developed in my fingers and toes is pretty much gone, entirely gone in my fingers, just a tad of numbness in my toes. The edema was the biggest issue but enough lasix (120 mg) did the trick. It didn't make me feel low grade fluish like the ac did.

Fight, Joni. Cry tonight, hang onto Dan, but fight tomorrow. This is, for all of us, a chronic illness. Some sooner than later, but it's chronic. You are in a bad spell, but fight, and be there when others of us need to fight.

Hugs and Prayers,

Melia

Tina - Great that your Ohio onc. referred you to a DC onc.  How's the packing going?   I am so excited for you - this will be a nice fresh start for your lovely family in a great city.

Cindy - love the idea of Xmas dinner in April - hey - why not?   Enjoy.

xo Caya