Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

Miss Kim (he ha) - yes I am happy to lose my hair because I was hiding behind who I am really am!  I want my nature hair color back.  BEFORE ANYONE GETS OFFENDED I AM NOT SAYING ALL PEOPLE WHO DYE THEIR HAIR IS HIDING. He ha.  I am saying FOR ME I was hiding and trying to be something different.  I want to embrace all that I am going through, that is why i am not going to wear a wig, everyone has their own opinion and feelings; but I want to be happy with no hair - heck its going to be nice not to have to worry about all that for a while.  Just to get up and go seems very nice!  I think the streets and my father made me appreciate and handle some thing easier then most.  Not all but some!  When I was younger I would question why me, but now I know Everything is for a reason and the streets and the physical abuse just made me stronger with all this; so I AM SO THANKFUL! GOD is good and I never question him anymore!

Okay Sweet Pea! 

Love Lil hard pill to Swallow - he ha 

Cathyca - I didnt mean it that way - i meant it to say dont hold on to something negative as you only have 2 years from the Dr cause they really dont know.  I was trying to build up Maz and let her know that Drs are not the final decision.  Only God knows! That is what I meant, and I know I come off hard and straight to the point or MISUSE words but I honestly meant to uplift her but instead I made others feel doubtful or get offended or whatever other word you might what to use.  I would never want to tell others something negative - I was trying to say Be positive, hold onto faith and continue to pray and NEVER GIVE UP.  Gosh, I sure made a big mistake - he ha. 

So everyone stop picking on me - I am the LITTLE warrior and I have a lot more to learn in life - I am just growing now! It has taken me years to find me and I am so sorry that I hurt anyone.  Okay - he ha ha gosh I dont deserve this after my birthday - he ha LOL..... 

Evening Ladies,
Well not one person mistook me for Angelina Jolie…could it be my pale complexion, my lack of muscle tone, my lack of hair, but more importantly, my lack of the puffy upperlip to go with my lower?  Ah well, I did have a good shopping day as far as Easter stuff.

Sista- Man I hear ya on feeling knocked out. I wish I could help ya on the se’s of Taxotere vs AC, but I’m doing all three at once. Anywhoo, glad to hear from you and to know that Taxotere has been easier on you.

LJ13- You sound so well!!!!  I love that you are the go to gal for Taxol/Taxotere especially since I don’t know which of my numerous lovely se’s are attributed to which of the three chemo drugs I take. I think they like to blend se’s myself.

Tinalee- Bummer you missed the chili feed last night, but wow, all that chili in an hour and a half? That’s great!!!!

The good news, you were able to go to your fish fry tonight and are ready to stay ahead of those se’s.

Have a great weekend with your family.

LWDana – First of all, no one is picking on you. I know you feel that way, but really people are only expressing their viewpoints. Second, I wasn’t offended at all. I just disagreed with something you said rather vehemently and offered my opinion. Offering an opinion doesn’t mean being offended.

I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough upcoming. I’ve had some tough stuff to get through in my life too, and I understand the survival instinct you feel. Sweetie, the rollercoaster ride I was talking about…you confirmed yourself…
”I do have a thin line between love and hate and I am human.” In just a few short posts you went from being really angry at the system to being thrilled about losing your hair. It wasn’t an indictment, only an observation.  I’m sorry you felt attacked.  You have come a long way, and you should be so proud of what you have accomplished.  It’s great that you recognize you’re still growing and learning as a human in this world as we all are.

Nope, hard pill to swallow doesn’t work for me. I like Little Warrior…it does fit you…ready for battle, but still needing to hone her craft first.

I’m glad your hair will be a symbol for you of letting the real you out and honoring her. My comment about you being happy about losing your hair, again, an observation based on your words, not a criticism or judgment.  I too am much happier going bald and do most of the time even in public.

We love you Little Warrior, whether or not we agree with you on everything. That’s what sisters are all about.

A few of that gals have had an extended visit from Aunt Flo, so I’m thinking you’re on track.

SheShe- I am so thrilled for you that your bone scan came back clear!!!! And only one more chemotini to suck down?  WhooHoo is right on both counts!!!!

SIS Kimberly 

Hello Fellow Jewels,

Just a "quickie" tonight ... Paula, wow you must be a night owl, got a kick out of your laptop in bed!!!  Glad to know that I'm not the only one that surf's at times from bed, I have a little I-touch pod thats kinda fun, it's a bugger though when I take my contacts out and put my glasses on without bi-focals, hate to say it, but I'm needing the readers with the tiny print.

Kimberly, so whats up with the lip, might it be a little boob infection that jumped ship to the lip?  Found I had to do some swishing this week with the ol' biotene (I hate the taste), but had the canker sore kinda thing going on in my mouth, seemed to work pretty good.  Here's to hoping for your puffy lip to take a hike!

On the bc overload, I had put my pile of books that sat next to "my recliner" out of sight about a month ago.  I did read Wendi's book, but I decided that the whole family probably was a bit tired of looking at everything titled bc this and that!  Hoping that the Deanna Favre's book is a positive read, since I'm planning on starting it tomorrow on the plane.  Don't really want a downer on "cation". 

D1, hoping that all is well and your enjoying a break in your txts, and filling your days with something other than bc talk and docs!

Had a chat today with a 18 month out survivor, we we're discussing when to get future test/scans etc.  Question that came up that was interesting to me and thought I'd canvas the group, my onc has not checked me over (other than to feel around my neck and collarbone area for swollen lymphs).  She asked if he has done any exam of my remaining breast, or at the mast site for anything out of the ordinary, saying her doc (which is another in the same office) checked her out almost each visit.  My doc hasn't had me disrobe since an appt shortly after my mast surgery in Dec.  Are you all being examined by your oncs in a little more thorough manner?     

Okay, I better call it quits, if I go back and respond to all of today's happenings I'll be at it forever tonight.  Looks like it was another "active" day, with lots of continued support.

Cracked myself up tonight as I packed my "water boob", just thinking how entertaining it will be if my bag is searched at the airport! 

To all, have a great Easter weekend, and I'll probably be in lurk mode for the next few days, hoping to post a pic from AZ, maybe I can get the dh to join me!

Carol

Kim, I laughed because I am always on that roller coaster.  Even at the worst or sad times i will have something to laugh about after the tears - that is why I can make it through all this.

My nurse told me today " She said Dana I have only known you for three weeks and I am telling you this you will be healed because you are a tough cookie but you have a heart of gold, you would give your left arm for these other people in the chemo room with you."  She said you will be such a blessing to others, and I said to her even with my Ghetto slang, hard and country accent and she said - real people will see your heart because your actions speak louder then that Ghetto talk".  I laughed so hard, and said thanks.  So now this weekend I have to find someone really great for her, I dont know what but she made me smile inside and out.  I needed that because I felt like I let you Ladies down because here I go to get strength from you and then I dont give you strength.  

I had some friends from my old jobs meet me at red lobster and I laughed so hard tonight.  They gave me gifts, and I cried so hard.  Just to have someone that cares about me on my bday, I didnt want anything because just to invite me out and suprise me with old Friends touched my heart.  I felt so loved today and I cant tell you how great it felt.  

Believe it or not I was with 4 friends outside and this drunk lady came outside by the car and just stood there and I thought my friend knew her and then the lady just stayed there staring at us then walked away saying whatever.  Being that I had chemo less then 3 hours ago it took me awhile and then it dawned on me that she is stone drunk.  We all laughed about it so hard and for a while about my reaction and my friends then I told them Hey that can be God sending her my way to make sure she gets a ride home safely.  So we followed her and I told them I am going inside the Restaurant to see where she is and who she is with and make sure she gets home safely.  My friends were to scared to walk back in there.  I didnt find her so I told them lets walk back of the restaurant parking lot and there she was I was about to say something to her and she wanted to fight; BEING that I changed I didnt knock her out ha ha ha- oh but I wanted to give her a good right Breast Cancer hook he ha ha - So I said to myself out loud and to my friends "God I can only help you so much", and told my friends let me walk you to your cars and you go home (one of them is pregant -smile).  I am so glad I walk with God - and this is such a nice area in California (Santa Clarita -Valenica) we were in.  WoW! Be proud Ghetto Dana didnt open her big mouth!  

I think that is why I am beating this Cancer because I am such a Little Warrior -- seriously, I am too dam stubborn!  

Lil Warrior!!!! 

Right back at you  ((((Dana))))

Keep the faith

Special shout-out to Sheshe -- oh, I'm so happy for you honey!  What a wonderful way to begin Spring!!  Blessings and new beginnings!!

Carol -- Good thought-provoking topic, about the onco checking out the whole bod.  I, like you, have only had the run-of-the-mill neck, ankles, listening to lungs and heart.  Although, I have been seeing my ps during my good weeks for expander fills, he sees me on top, and has only remarked how good things are looking.  So...I take that as a good sign.  But, I think I would feel better if onco took a look, too.  I'm going to mention it next time -- she's really fab, I can talk to her about anything.  Thanks for the idea. Have a great 'cation. 

Vettegal -- so glad to hear about your mom.  Prayers and good wishes continue to head out to your sis.  

Paula -- Hoping your se's are few, I can just see you with the cats...I can hardly type this, got a head laying on my forearm...

Kimberly -- You're sounding good.  I forgot that you get all three chemo's at once.  I'm sure you've got the mixed bag of se's.   Just think...you don't have to pay all that $$ for plumped lips, all the Hollywood types are going to be so jealous!

Tina 

Happy Saturday Jewels!

Sheshe-great news!! makes it for a great weekend...enjoy!

D1-heard a horn the other day, must of been you crossing the border into pennsylvania!! Hope you had a nice day!

Dana-my period was crazy..it came 10 days late..spotted for 3 days then  had a period for 10 days and some spotting for about 2 days..today may be the first day normal for me since the chemo on march 7. I did put out a hit on "aunt flo" to get rid of her!!!

ilovewolf-If you are angelina jolie...How is Brad doing? He is a hottie 

This is a great website.You don't have to worry about offending anyone..we are all going thru the same ordeal..whether its a different treatment or whatever. We where all ment to find this site and meet everyone. I tell everyone about this site when they ask me if i go to a support group..Yes i use breastcancer.org and the january jewels are my support group and i tell them about our shirts and everything. They think its great! I M not embarrassed that i have bc, its all in the open and if people ask i will tell them.

My sister and i have been talking, she is a very private person and if ( i hope not) she gets bc. she will hide it from everyone..she is like my mom. To this day, my mom won't say cancer. It must be the old school mentality. Me, i wear the cancer sucks shirt everywhere and jewels shirt..Just let it all hang out!

Well, my dh hasn't had an easter basket in 30 years..well I am boiling up some eggs, bought some candy and I will be making him a basket this year...He has taken such good care of me...He deserves one!

Love to all the Jewels!! Bless you all! xxxooo

Patty

Good morning Jewels!  The hands are having a hard time working today.  I've read all the posts, but the brain is also fuzzy, so this will be brief.  So far the last round has not hit any harder than the others... Thank God.  I didn't sleep well last night, but have lots of time to rest today, and I will.

Carol:  My onc checks my breasts (as well as the usual stuff) with each exam so far (every three weeks).  My surgeon I see less often now (about every 3-6 months), but she also checks them.  I've been doing my checks again which are hard b/c everything feels different now-- guess I have to learn the new me.  Hope you have a nice vaca.  I'm jealous as I won't get away until August.

Dana: I feel like I can't ignore all that's been posted.  But all I really have to say is don't be so hard on yourself.  You expressed an opinion that some did not agree with-- this is all part of life.  You apologized for offending anyone, they accepted-- now let's all move on.  We can be open here.  If we treat each other kindly, then all is right in the world as I see it.  I don't think any less of you or anyone else for what's been said here-- we're all Jewels, and I like everyone of us.

The fog is rolling in girls, so I'm gonna post this and then go rest.  I have the upcoming week's list (it's a full one!) that I'll post later when I have some more energy.

Good Morning Jewels,
Well, it’s going to get into the 70’s today…WhooHoo!!!  I’m looking forward to getting outside a little. The lip is getting better, but you should see me eat or drink…it’s pretty funny. I have to bite on the right to avoid the canker sore like thing on my bottom lip, then chew on the left side to avoid the sore right back side of my mouth.

Paula- I wish I could use my computer in bed, but alas our ‘network’ doesn’t seem to like talking to my Mac. I liked your diamond in the rough analogy and your words to Dana. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Carol- LOL - packing the swimming boob and the thought of it going through the x-ray machine and being targeted for a search.

My oncologist checks my ‘breasts’, lymph nodes, belly, and listens to my heart every 3rd week. Oh, and checks my finger nails.

LWDana- Oh sweetie, there is no need to apologize for anything. You didn’t ‘let me down’ at all. What you did was remind me of myself when I was younger and trying to work through my stuff, and I guess that’s why I felt I needed to state my opinion. Again, I am not judging you, only making observations based on what you say. Observations help us to see things from a different perspective, and I was offering you a different perspective. I too vote we move on from this.

I’m glad that your friends took you out for your bday and that the oncology nurse made you smile…and she’s right. You do have a good heart, and you will be a great comfort to any hospital’s patients. (((HUGS)))

Tinalee- With only my bottom lip being puffy, I look like quite the pouter…is that a look the gals in Hollywood want?
HaHaHa

Patty- So, that’s our Vettegal’s name. Hi, Patty.  Brad’s been busy taking care of all the kids, so I haven’t seem much of him. HaHaHa  Love the basket idea for your dh.  I’m sure he’ll love it.

CarolC- Oh snuggle in sweetie with your little furry ones and take care, OK? (((HUGS)))

KathyL- Well said!!!  Now, take Carol’s cue and go snuggle in and take care. You need your rest for the Easter Bunny festivities tomorrow.


Julie- How great to spend time crackin’ up with the family.
NO colds allowed!!!!  Take some extra Vit C and rest up.
And thanks for the compliment about being prettier than Angelina Jolie. I think she’s an outstandingly lovely woman in so many ways.

D1- Hope you're having a great time with the family and that your chemo se's are disappearing with each passing day now that chemo is done for you.

To all our other Jewels, have a wonderful day. Take care if you're in the fog.

SIS Kimberly 

Kim - love you so much, I haven grown so much with your help - your Perspectives, opinions and positive outlook on life.  I have a feeling you had a ruff life as well so you can relate and always lift me up.

Julie - you always have the cutest little stuff to paste. I dont know if you are having chemo cuz I dont know how you know to paste and cut all that stuff - you are our computer wiz.  Smile.

I wish you all a happy easter - I am going to be so bad and have a bbq RIB EYE steak so forgive me cancer cells; but i deserve a little extra fat and grease.  He ha. I wanted a ham but my ex will not buy it he says easter is just another day - to him!  To me it means alot.  I cant complain Mr. Cheapy is taking me out to Claim Jumpers tonight and he bought me three sweat suits and a pair of kswiss shoes for my clinicals.  I was so happy to see that; being that I am never content - i am going to try to squeeze out of him a gameboy tonight at the mall. I am going to push my luck, HEY a closed mouth doesnt get feed.  he ha.

By they way, my fat butt gained another 1/2 pound this week.  The rate its going I am going to be huggggggge.  I was weighing 195 before Chemo and now I am at 206 1/2 - you like that half - I will not say 207.  He ha. I bought pilates bend and tapes off of Amazon which was like 5 dollars each and I am doing that too but with steriods and this appetite I have a long battle ahead.

My WBC was very low this week, it was 3.9 so I have to call next week before I go there so I dont make a wasted trip for nothing. I am going to up my protein so I am hoping that will help.  I dont like the numbers going down.  Still feel great!  My Dr says to use baby oil on the hinny for butt burning and I prefer the hemorrioid cream; I also bought this cream called nupercaine - you can get it at CVS pharmacy and honey it helps me greatly.  I love it - just dont like the feeling of it rubbing between my cheeks, but I guess its better then letting everyone hear me screaming in the bathroom from not having it - he ha.  Sorry for the visual.   I too have a bloody and crusty nose from Chemo and with the spring and wind it doesnt help.  I use either vaseline or neosporin - they both work great. 

Well I guess, I said enough.  Love you Jewels and remember you all deserve to have a Happy Easter - Its all about Jesus tomorrow, so embrace him and walk with him and REMEMBER HE IS THE HEALER OF ALL US.  Give him all your worries and concerns and will solve it for you.  Nothing is too big for him to handle.  I love my God, it feels so great to have him in my heart and soul - I sure wish I would of found him along time ago because I would of been so far ahead and amazing.  Its so nice not to be concerned and ponder on this Cancer, i honestly forget that I have it sometimes because with such little SE and the reminder of Chemo once a week, I totally forget.  I have to be reminded by someone when they ask.  I am so blessed and thankful for all God has done and given to me.  All GLORY TO GOD..  

May God continue to bless you  - MUAH xoxox 

Hi Jewels, I don't have much to say as I never do,just not a talkative person to begin with.  However I do come and read the posts daily and can relate to just about everything.  I just wanted to wish each and everyone a Happy Easter Holiday.

Hey Jewels, its 8:00 here in Arizona, we've just had dinner on our friends patio, looking out towards the golf course, watching the sun go down, gotta love it.   I also love that the dh packed his laptop with an air card so I can sneak a peak with the gals.

Cathy, the grapefruit tree outside their home is smelling mighty fine.  I absolutely love the smell of the blossoms, and we picked big ol' grapefruits from it for the morning.

Kimberly, havn't had that glass of vino quite yet, I did have a few sips of a Corona, (our tradition each year).   I must say it tasted pretty darn good.  Looks like your getting some great weather too.  I couldn't wait to stand in the sunshine (had to go outside at the airport while the dh was getting the baggage just to feel the sun on my bones).  Your a lucky gal to have pretty good weather most of the year.

Thanks to all who responded to my question about your onc visits, I will be asking my doc to check things out topside, I'm with Jenn I can't quite tell what the mast side is suppose to feel like, and if each lump and bump is normal from surgery.

I'm fading fast, woke up this morning at 4:15 and couldn't go back to sleep, probably won't need a lorazepam tonight to hit the hay. 

Off to golf nine holes tomorrow morning and a Mariners game in the afternoon, what an Easter!!!

Hope you all have a pleasant Easter sunday ... I'll be checking in throughout "cation", but will probably try to be socially in tune with our friends and dh during the evenings.

Night all,

Carol

I was looking online to see if I can donate my hair, but from what I see is it that I have to braid my hair first and then cut it off.  So I think I am going to do that next week and shave the rest and send it to them. I really hope my hair will be useful for someone in need.  May it give them confidence and beauty!

Have a Happy Easter Ladies.

Love and Hugs,

dana