Starting chemo Dec 2007

The onc dr decided to change my last dose to Taxotere (KMK & Jeannie had/have), which is in the same family as Taxol but doesn't have the problem with neuropathy... he was concerned about that. Since this dr seemed pretty "Everything's fine. No problems" about other things, I felt very comfortable going along with his opinion on this. I feel the tiniest bit queasy, so popped a Compazine when I got home. Other than that, I'm ok. Hoping that's my only glitch. Plus side is it only took an hour, so I got home about 3 hours early!

My nurses threw me a little party... they had sliced fruit and cookies for everyone in the clinic. They passed ginger ale out to everyone, and they all toasted me and my last chemo. And they gave me a teddy bear and a rock that says "Hope" on it.

I cried.

But below is me BEFORE that happened. I look pretty goofy because I wore/brought something from all the people who have supported me in my family/friends, including the faux diamond necklace that used to belong to my birth mom.

(sorry abou7t the size. I tried to reduce it twice but it refuses. Oh well)

Yeah, yeah, I know the sun is positioned in a rather odd place... I had no idea at the time and my husband didn't say anything. Gave me a good chuckle when I saw it.  

It's over. Let the healing begin! Hugs to everyone.

-Sal

Congratulations Sal and Suz!!!  I'm so happy for you!!  One more for me.  Today was chemo day so I probably wont be posting for a few days.  Talk to you all later.

Kate

Wishiwere, sending you prayers and hugs for your latest scare. I echo the others... hoping it turns out to nothing serious.

Suz I glanced at the pink balloons and thought they were your family/friends... what a sweet and touching addition to your last day to have us with you.

Lori, good luck with your lumph nodes. Got my fingers crossed!

Hang in there, Jeannie and Kate... your days will come and OHHH, how sweet they will be. Not a feeling in the world to knowing it's your LAST one. 

Thank you all for your good wishes. I'm still a tiny queasy this morning-- reminds me of AC-- but other than that I feel simply marvelous. I'm ready for whatever SE's come because I know they are the last round.

I don't have to start Tamoxifen for another few weeks. They already set up my appointment to have my port removed in 3 weeks. And I'll see my plastic surgeon mid-April to set up my surgery to have the tissue expanders removed and the implants put in. My sciatica is slowly but surely getting better: I've been (on my own decision) exercising twice a day, and that really seems to be helping... I can sit pretty much anytime I want (although it's still a little sensitive). Gittin better, one day at a time.

I'm not going anywhere, but did want to thank all you ladies for all your support through the chemo. I had quite a few whiny days, but you ladies pulled me through them all. You are all blessings.

-Sal 

Ladies, thanks for hopes.  I'm supposed to call in the morning to talk to one of the nurse coordinators to see if she can put a stat on the report.  I lost it in the little rooms they have for those getting mammos.  They were so sweet (too sweet) and my strength I'd gone in there with crumbled when one too many ladies asked why I was there.  Just lost it!  I've not done that yet and was afraid I'd never gain control.  I just felt so stupid, you know?  After all I've done to fight to NOW lose control of my emotions and cry?  WHY?

Anyway........ the coord nurse said that the MRI in oct showed B9 stuff so it's probably just that.  Also that it's possible if they see something they'll call me in for an US just to be sure.  Whether cyst or other, so IF they do, not to panic.  SURE, Don't panic.  Easy to say huh?  I saw the pics (well 3 of the 4) as she closed it too quickly after the 4th one and that bothered me.  I think I saw a cyst amongst it, but who knows.  There was a lot of white, but that 'could' be what she was talking about in the old mri.  I'm just anxious, ready to lose it again and feeling so danged mad, I could spit!

Then I remember all that others before me and currently are going through and think....it's going to be okay.

I told dd the first go around, 1:8 meant I was getting it rather than my sisters, mom or dd's or such.  Fine with me if they didn't!  So does this mean, then that my nieces and so on won't get it too! I surely hope so if it's come back!  D*#& it!  I'm just so sick of being sick, as we all are!  IT's just maddening and disheartening!

Okay....that's my rant, now I'm going to say that I'm going to move on tonight and not think about it and just send up prayers that NO one on this board has to go this crap again!  NEVER!

Love and {{hugs}}

me

Wishiwere, here's hoping that this will turn out to be nothing!  Both Sal and I went through finding lumps that turned out to be B9 and I sincerely hope this will be the case for you as well. 

Love and hugs

FUBC

Laura

Yes, FUBC!!!!!!!!!!

Thank Laura, I appreaciate the thoughts!

I'm hoping like hell-0 too, but my mind just can't get around it not being something as you well know.  It's just too much right now!  Between the pap yesterday and I know I'll get called back on that by his looks and then the UTI they found and my hands are started back up and now this crap! I am just freaking tired of being down. 

I want spring NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So i can out and DECAPITATE & MURDER SOME weeds!

Thanks Laura, Happy Easter to you to! LOL, love the cartons  Suz

Thank You ladies!  Seriously, those rants help every time, don't they! And yes, A, those sweet things they say or do are the time bombs ignitions!  I would have been safer had they been nonchalant or even B*tches to me, I know that!  I appreciated all their concerns, but it was just a melt down I didn't want to have in front of anyone, let alone people I don't know! 

But yes, I've decided I can't do anything tonight, so I'm going to take one of the xanax that the BS gave (8 of 10 pills left) me before surgery last fall, and try to get a good nights sleep so I don't fall into hysteria when I get that call that all is fine tomorrow!  Buck up and beat the turds back again if I have to!

Thanks sweeties!

A, I'm really close to jumping into a class of yoga, piletes (sp?) or something to learn more too! Sounds wonderful.  Hopefully I don't get twisted up and never come out of the knot!

I called the breast coordinator this morning and she promised to put a stat on it and said SHE would call me back this afternoon, not to worry! HA!  Sure, I'll just forget it all!

Anyway, I'm sure she'll get on it as she mentioned there is no reason to have to sit all weekend worrying! I love this group, just not my onco   Thank s for th pray Sal.  I'm keeping them up for everyone here too, believe me!  We can use all the good thoughts and prayers we can get!

I really wished I'd asked more questions or looked closer at those images yesterday.  I was/am hoping those white spots are just fibro stuff and nothing to worry about.  I can't imagine how women get through this that must wait week or month to get their results! I'd be taking more than that the xanax I took last night!

Kimbly - I, too, am thinking of doing something for the onc nurses.  I have an appointment at the clinic on April 4 which, I believe, would have been my labs to prepare for next chemo the following Monday.  I know I certainly will be celebrating that day, knowing that I don't have to have chemo again!  I was thinking of taking them a platter of fruits and pastries or something like that.

Some of my ramblings.....

It's interesting how in some ways having cancer puts things in perspective.  Here in our hospital they give you a plastic card with your details on it, and you are supposed to use this card to identify yourself any time you come for treatment, labs, etc.  Well there was a woman there last week who was a recurrence (after 10 years) and was complaining bitterly about having to show this card twice in the same morning in different parts of the hospital.  I dunno, but I just said to her - well, it beats the alternative.  After all, if they have some picky rule to ensure they give the right tests/treatments to patients that can't be all bad.  Apparently they implemented this rule to eliminate confusion with patients who have the same names (cancer is booming!)  Things that may have irritated me/got me totally worked up no longer bug me a bit. 

Now this is worth getting upset about - this has happened here in Canada:

108 women died after botched cancer tests, Newfoundland says The province prepares to open an inquiry into a medical scandal that has raised doubts about quality control in laboratories across Canada CARLY WEEKS From Wednesday's Globe and MailMarch 19, 2008 at 5:00 AM EDTMore than 100 women have died after receiving inaccurate results on a critical breast cancer screening test, health authorities in Newfoundland revealed yesterday as the province prepares to open an inquiry into a serious medical scandal that has rocked the province and cast doubt on the quality of medical testing across Canada.The judicial inquiry, set to begin today in St. John's, will examine how hundreds of breast cancer patients received questionable results over an eight-year period on a hormone receptor test, used to determine which course of treatment a woman should receive.Yesterday's announcement marked the first time the government has revealed how many women who received faulty results have since died, but no one will ever know how many would have lived if their results had been right the first time. The government said 275 women who received inaccurate test results are still alive, and many patients involved in the scandal say receiving faulty results has had devastating consequences on their lives.

I can't imagine how devastating this would be for women with cancer and their families/survivors!

Two days ago I was working on my computer in the dining room.  It is still a bit cold here but very dry and sunny.  My son came running down in a panic and rushed out into the back alley.  He had smelled smoke through his bedroom window and when he looked out he saw that our fence was on fire.  I think someone walking in the alley may have thrown a cigarette or something into the dry grass along the fence and it all went up like tinder.  This poor cedar fence is relative new (2 yrs) after being rebuilt due to our neighbours crashing into it twice previously.  Now about half of it will need to be replaced.  I just threw water on it, shrugged my shoulders and went back to work, unfazed.  I guess when hubby gets here he will have another project waiting for him, lol.

I can't stop thinking about how happy I am to not have any more chemo.  On my last tx Monday as they were injecting the Epirubicin into the IV the nurse noticed some leakage and steaming under the plastic tape at the IV site.  It is like a T-joint on the IV tube and where the joint was it wasn't sealed, so the fluid was escaping onto my arm from this.  Well, that was quite a bit of excitement for the nurses.  This stuff is so toxic that it MUSTN'T touch your skin.  I wanted to laugh hysterically like a crazy person.  Imagine what it has done to my veins, heart, etc. if it is so dangerous to even get it on my skin!  Anyway, they (with their protective eyewear and gloves) mopped up the stuff as if it really were a toxic waste spill, disposing of all the towels and wipes in the toxic waste and then told me to scrub my arm thoroughly after the tx was done.  After they pulled the needle out they put the cotton puff on it and asked me to put pressure on it, as usual.  Then they taped me up and off I went.  I realized a couple of minutes later when I went to the washroom to scrub the arm that the hole where the IV had been hadn't sealed up and I was bleeding freely, with my shirt soaked with blood.  Fortunately it stopped bleeding as soon as I noticed it.  I felt a bit of a wreck when I got home.  Let's just say I am beyond happy to think I don't have to deal with any of this stuff again.  My nausea is gone today and I believe yesterday I ate the last MacDonald's breakfast I will eat for a long, long time.  Now I will start back on the highly nutritious diet (I did NOT buy chocolate for Easter!) and getting some more exercise.

Amy, you inspiring soul!  I still have cans of paint stacked up in the corner of my dining room - they've been there since my dx in September when I was in the process of repainting my house.  I'll get back to that soon...One thing at a time.....

Cheers to Kimbly, Jeannie Bell and Kate on the countdown towards the end of chemo.....Hugs to WIW, and prayers that everything will be ok.  And a happy Spring and Easter to everyone....

Love

Laura

Wiw, What a frustrating thing to have to wait AGAIN. But I'm still pluggin for ya.

Laura, I read your story about not letting the chemicals touch your skin.. that was morbidly amusing... you can't help but laugh eventhough it isn't funny to think of what it's doing to your insides. Kinda like how my onc described one of the SE's of Tamoxifen as an increased chance of uterine cancer... cure one cancer and create another?

Kimbly, counting down the days. Woohoo!!

Regarding your question, I sent an "edible arrangement" to my entire onc dept. The arrangement is made out of fruit, some of it chocolate covered. They are pretty pricey, but I wanted to do something and my energy/creativity level is still pretty low. I also, seperately, sent a card to my nurse to personally thank her.

My hubby is pestering me for the computer, so away I go. Big hugs to everyone out there.

-Sal 

Sal! -- Congratulations on being through with your treatment....Way to go!!!!

I went to have my next to last treatment yesterday (Friday)... but because my Platlet count was down too low, they have postponed it another week... Bummmmer!!!!  I still had my Herceptin yesterday, just not the Taxotere/Carboplatin....Also, I started getting Procrit shots 3 weeks ago because my Red Blood Cells are down...Anyone else had to have their treatment postponed? Or had low Platlet counts or Red blood counts?...    I was soooo disappointed... Never thought I'd be sad because I couldn't have chemo...hmmmmm?  On a good note though, I wont be sick for Easter....   But now my finish date looks like April 18th if everything gets back on track... Who else finishes in April?   Am I the last one?

Happy Easter Everybody!!!! 

Love and Kisses to All!

Jeannie

Hello friends !

Just got back from NYC! We celebrated my oldest (16) daughter's and my youngest (9) birthday by taking the whole family to see The Little Mermaid. It was AWESOME ! Even my son loved it !

I have been so emotional today. I think it is the birthdays and the Easter holiday that have made me more sensitive than usual. I have so much to be grateful for.....and now that spring is around the corner, OMG, watch out world ! Rebirth, and all of it's Glory...

I wish each of you a wonderful weekend........xoxoxoxo  cindy.