moving too quickly!

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  • dazeeee
    dazeeee Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2008

    hi there, don't overthink the side effects, cause you'll be able to talk yourself into anything if you stress too much...basically, it's hot flashes and weight gain.....i've dealt with both for 3 1/2 years, and it's certainly NO fun i must say. but it's what i have to do for my health. you'll be fine, just keep positive.

  • mtbmom
    mtbmom Member Posts: 135
    edited March 2008

    Leaf- I am so sorry to hear about your past as well as your current experience.  When I hear stuff like that it makes me so angry.  It is so unprofessional and callous, and completely unnecessary.  I wish I could take you with me to my breast clinic.  It is new, and I was one of the first patients.  The women doc who runs it told me she started it because she was tired of women being treated like numbers only at the big clinic in the big city where I live. It is decorated so nice, with female tastes in mind. When I went in for my needle bio, I was in a private room with just her and her head nurse- I even got to wear a big fluffy terri robe instead of one of those ugly gowns.  I did have to drive from her place to the hosp for my surgery, but it was worth it.  My husband said he was ready to leave, cuz the place was just oozing estrogen!

    Don't feel bad about venting- you've definitely earned it.  You have been such a support on this site, I wish I could do more to help you. I don't know where you live, but if you want to PM me, I can give you my info and you can call and vent!  I hope everything goes as planned on the 1st, and feel free to gripe to me!

    dazeeee-I know those are the standard side effects.  I wish that's what I was feeling.  I  don't think I'm overthinking the way I feel after taking the med- the fact that the same side effects occur about the same time after each dose tells me that. I am very sensitive to meds, I don't know if it's because I have a very fast metabolism or what, but I've had several bad reactions in the past. (My husband swears it's because I eat too healthy, and can't handle the "good stuff" :))  Thanks for the advice though, I'm trying to give it a chance and put up the good fight!

    hugs to all- Denise

  • lucky32
    lucky32 Member Posts: 97
    edited March 2008

    Oh, man, leaf. You've had way more than your share of bad experiences. I'd be screaming if that happened to me. Yikes!

    You are right about not being able to tell about doctors. My onc sent me to a GYN onc a couple of years ago because she thought I needed to consider an oophorectomy (so I could take Arimidex--no thanks!). Anyway, the guy is nationally known and well-respected, blah, blah, blah. I couldn't stand him. He oozed arrogance. As it turned out, he disagreed with her about the whole surgery/Arimidex thing, so I didn't have to see him again. It's so important to have a good relationship with our doctors, and sometimes it takes getting a few different opinions to find the right doc.

    I hope you will have much better luck going forward. Hang in there till April 1! (I'm right behind you--mine's April 2.)

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited March 2008

    Thank you so much for your very kind wishes, Denise and lucky32. Its been a stressful time for me, because my own health concerns pale in comparasion to those of my good friend who was diagnosed with an almost certainly terminal illness. (She's about 5 years older than I and lived a very healthy life.) At the moment she's able to drive. Its a fine line between preaching to her about taking her pain meds and preserving her autonomy, and her talking about Dr. Kevorkian. (Its NOT bc or ovarian cancer.) She's the first close friend or relative that I will see slowly deteriorate.



    Thank you once again.

  • lucky32
    lucky32 Member Posts: 97
    edited March 2008

    Hi, leaf,

    I know you are so concerned about your friend. It is extremely difficult to watch those whom we love getting weaker and weaker. I'm so sorry to hear that she seems to be resisting her pain meds. My mother did the same thing. We and the nurses reminded her constantly, but for some reason, she just didn't want to take as much as she could have. I'm not sure why people do this, but it doesn't seem all that uncommon. It sure is hard to watch, though.

    I am sure your friend is so grateful that you are with her. As we all know, sometimes friends are a little hard to come by when illness strikes. She knows that you will be by her side, and this surely strengthens her. I'd be willing to bet that even when you think you might not be helping her, you really are, just by being there for her and with her.

    You probably already know this, but most hospices have community resources such as lending libraries, classes, support groups, and individual counseling. These are usually available to anyone, whether or not they have a connection to a current or past hospice patient. Often these services are free. I wonder if you might find some useful resources and information through them.

    There is a book that I also highly recommend for anyone dealing with a family member or friend who has a terminal illness. It's called Midwife for Souls, by Kathy Kalina. It was out of print for a while, but I believe that it has come back into print recently. It was written by a Roman Catholic hospice nurse and does have some specifically religious content, although it is overwhelmingly a medical book and not a theological one.  The medical information is extremely well-written, understandable, and succinct. She also includes information on how families may deal with the situation. It's written for professional caregivers, which I am not, but I still have found it extremely useful on more than one occasion. Just wanted to pass that along in case you might be interested. It will probably be most useful as your friend nears the end of her journey. It explains, in a very sensitive and caring way, the physical changes that occur as the end of life approaches.

    You've got a lot on you right now, so I hope you'll be able to take a little time for yourself to rest and recharge. You do such a good job of taking care of other people--don't forget to take care of yourself!

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited March 2008

    Thank you so much for the suggestions and info, lucky32. She has so many family issues, if I listed them all you'd think it was all a soap opera. I'll check for that book. I just wanted to explain in case I say something out-of-line. Thanks again.



    I didn't mean to hijack Denise's thread.

  • mtbmom
    mtbmom Member Posts: 135
    edited March 2008

    Leaf-My thoughts and prayers go out for you and your friend.  You have been a godsend of knowledge and comfort to all of us here, so I am sure she feels like the luckiest person to have you there with her now.  I have been where you are now, with a dear friends child, so I know nothing I can say can really help you feel better now, but I do know she is so thankful to have you there. I think there could be nothing better at that time than to know that someone who truly loves you is there by your side.

    Please don't worry about "my thread".  The beauty of this site is we are all here to share each others thoughts and experiences.  Please know we are all here for you, and feel free to come here and vent, or just cry. 

    hugs and love- Denise

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