Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

kathy- yes honey they have us doing Care plans, and I hate them too! Its such a waste of time because you never see them in the hosptial, everything is in the computer. But we still have to do it.

I dont know if I told you but my school told us in January that our school is closing.  Everyone started panicking, and at that time we had 32 classmates now we are down to 20.  I told everyone I am not panicking because I am staying on this Boat as if its the Titanic and I will be the one PLAYING THE VIOLIN TO THE LAST MOMENT.  He ha!  I am not a quitter and I believe God has sent me to this school for a reason, so i am here until the school sinks. 

ChJ, Thanks sweetie, I really dont think I am going thru much, it would just be nice to have someone at home lift you up but sometimes you just cant get what you want and deserve - so i dont let him break me down.  He came home last night with MCdonalds (juke food), and I had a nice baked chicken with vegatables and I made sure I ate it all.  He ha - Oh yea I gave some to my Dog   I love this - he sleeps on the couch and the my dog sleeps with me!  I have it good, I just wanted him to recognize I dont appreciate you taken me for granted so you do you and I surely will do me and MY DOG.  I tell you it may sound Crazy but the Dogs (even his) they make me so happy.  To walk through the front door and to get greeted so well with smiles, jumps and wiggles - what else can you ask for?  TELL ME DOES ANY HUSBAND OR MAN DO THAT FOR THEIR WIFES????  If so then I wont give up on my hopes and dreams - he ha he.  I am just cracking myself up today.

I love you ladies, I cant wait to go to work today my Last day with my not so understanding and empathy Instructor.  I will not have her again for another 3 months - thank you Jesus!  My next Instructor i have starting next week is the best - He is such a dear! Maybe I should take him home and have him greet me at the door when I get home - oh yea he is married.  He ha he ha.   

Have a blessed day ladies,

Love your Lil Warrior Dana Dane with Fame!   

LJ - Gods blessing on the your chemo today - think positive and you will win this fight.

Vettegal - I will keep your sister in my prayers, gosh enough is enough!  I have gone through what you are going through but always remember Cancer is not a death sentence and what doesnt break us will make us stronger (as always).   Keep praying and be strong Lil Sweetie.

Tina, I honestly think its the horomones in the meat we eat.  Plus all the other products they make have carcingeon in it.  I am hearing 13 years and  older are getting BC and organic I hate to tell you doesnt really mean organic.  They can state it but it doesnt really mean it is; I have learned this in school and through other Doctors-  who knows maybe they are wrong.  I think the key is really eating more fruits, vegatables, wheat and lean meats like Fish and Chicken but mostly veggies and fruits they contain so much antioxidants and help fight off Cancer.  

My Mom never smoked or drank and she had cancer three times - but didnt eat right and the stress of my Dad (hell that alone would of killed anyone) and my Brother Matt smoked but the Drs were shocked to see him such a young age getting Cancer and dying from it.  I think its really in the food!  Also I dont use antipersitant deodrant anymore because that goes right into your lymph nodes and that isnt good either.  Honey, if you live long enough everyone will have their fight with Cancer, but we will beat it!  

I smoke Cigs for 9 years and I smoke weed as well, but that doesnt cause our BC, its causes Lung Cancer but we are blessed we dont have that.  So just dont try to figure it out Honey, cause we will never get it. I just look at it as a positive thing because it helped me love me more.  I think we Women need to love us more, we love our Hubbies, or boyfriends, or kids, animals and etc before us and when Cancer comes we say to ourselves "Wait a minute here, I have to love me first before I can love you or anyone else".  We give and give and give, and NOW its time we give to ourselves and do what makes us HAPPY - life is not promised to anyone - so live your life and be Happy!!!! 

Have a blessed day off to work with my bleeding nose!  Chemo sure dries out my nose badly but I cant complain.

Hugs to my Jewels and I know you Ladies cant wait for me to go to work because I have been a talker since yesterday!  he ha  -BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU JEWELS GET WHEN I HAVE TO STAY HOME AND REST PER YOUR INSTRUCTIONS; AND WHEN I ONLY HAVE DOGS TO TALK TO AT HOME.  HE HA

GOD BLESS

Hey all,

Julie, hoping you're still doing okay this round!

Tina: sweet story about how you and your dh got together.

I'm a little bummed this evening. ds has his first baseball game tonite--he's pitching. We were all set to go and dh had a seizure, so the game is out. He's okay... just needs to sleep and rest his brain. It was beautiful here today (70s) and dh loves to work outside. I imagine he just got overheated. He has a routine MRI scheduled for tomorrow while I'm in the chemo lounge. I'm staying positive, but he will find it much harder not to worry about having another tumor.

I'll catch up with you gals later. (((HUGS to all)))

Paula

Dear Jewels,

Just a quick check in. My treatment yesty went well. A little shorter too. The se's are starting to kick in today which is sooner than usual.

Didn't sleep well last nite (steroids!) so I'm crashing early. They gave me a sleeping pill prescription and I fell asleep just before I had to pick it up this afternoon! I guess I don't need it now. Now on to the fog.

Joan

Good evening gems.  Figured I'd check in again so I hopefully don't write another marathon post.  Today was a good day, cool but sunny. I took everyone's advice and whipped out the makeup bag from LGFB.  I hardly ever wear makeup, and rarely put on foundation unless it's a real special event... but today I went all out, and I must admit it covered up a lot of the dark circles and "tiredness".  I felt great, and actually had two people tell me I looked really good (did I look like crap before???).  Therapist visit was great-- I always feel awesome after seeing her and kvetching. Lunch with dh was nice too-had a really yummy chicken salad.  Went to see my ps, which was uneventful.  She basically said "looks good, see you in a month", then we'll talk about the nipple.  Oh well, good things come to those who wait I guess.  At least I don't pay a co-pay for her visits-it's all considered follow-ups, so she doesn't charge them.  Then I went down to my favorite boutique where I got my wigs and a bunch of hats.  It's fairly new and I really like the lady who owns it, so I've referred a bunch of people there.  She gave me a free hat today for all the people I've sent there!  It's a cute denim baseball cap with the pink ribbon logo on the front.  I was gonna buy it but she said "no, take it".  Nice to have a great day before next week... dreading that even though it's my last chemo.

Vettegal:  So sorry to hear about your sister.  I hope it turns out benign.  Have you guys had the BRCA test done??  You 3 are in my prayers.  FUBC!

LJ:  Hope today went well for you!

Tinalee, Kimberly, Carol:  All you girls and your wine talk.  I have to admit I've never been much of a drinker, but I do like the taste of wine.  Cancer I think had driven me to say WTF though-maybe I'll start!  I'd like to develop an appreciation at least.  My problem is, most wines give me a headache.  Any suggestions for ones that might not do this?  I love whites and pinks.  Reds always just taste too tart (dry?) to me.

Tinalee:  I feel the same about the timing of my BC dx.  I was pissed and I remember thinking-I don't have time for BC in my life.  Still hate that aspect of it and how it has taken my life over (temporarily!  I WILL claim it back soon).  But I'm also starting to realize that in some ways, it has changed me for the better.  I have learned to slow down, focus on me, and focus on what really matters-new priorities that really do make me happier.  I'm also learning to not sweat the small stuff-was always very hard for perfectionist me to do!

Like you, I have no history and I think a lot about what caused this BC in me.  There's gotta be something out there for sure.  I plan on eating better and exercising more.  I did everything else right I feel (d*mn, shoulda tried weed in college).  I don't eat badly, but I could do better.  And I've had periods in my life where I've exercised well, then others (like recently with 2 kids), where I do none.  I'm lucky b/c I've always been underweight or at a decent/normal weight.  But now I'm motivated to do something regardless.  I'd love to live long enough for them to find out what caused this tho', b/c SOMETHING made those cells go wacky in a young, healthy woman! 

I like reading everyone's take on this subject BTW.  For my two cents on it all--I also think stress has lot to do with it.  It's been shown to take a toll on our immune systems. Defintely not good for our bodies.  Probably not good in the gene pool either.   And D1, I agree--all the d*mn BC pills--- I don't think they helped me with much other than keeping me from getting knocked up in my 20s.

Dana:  There is a man out there for you honey.  None of them are perfect, but one will be perfect for you.  In the meantime, love those doggies and enjoy Dana Time!

Kimberly:  Yahoo on your Oprah idea!  That's totally the message we need to send to her.  How could she resist us Jewels??  Rest easy this weekend as the fog descends.

Paula:  Sorry to hear dh's evening was sidelined by his seizure.  Hope his MRI goes well tomorrow.

Sorry, this was longer than I thought!  See everyone tomorrow.  Good luck to Deb and Paula!

Vettegal- I'm wishing for good news for your sister--benign, benign, BENIGN! I'm sorry your family has to worry about this right now.

Kathy- I checked out Wendi's website. She must have been a wonderful person. I read a few of her updates... very touching. I've got to get over to Amazon and get her book.

Deb1023- race you to the chemo bar! Hope your 1st Taxol goes well tomorrow.

thanks for the shout outs. dh bounced back from this seizure much faster than he usually does. He typically is unresponsive and sleeps for 6-8 hours. He was up with a remote in his hand within 4 hours. LOL

ds pitched one inning in the scrimmage (sp) game this evening and said he did well. I can hear him upstairs now playing Guitar Hero... gotta go remind that boy that he needs to get his work done for AP English! He's such a slacker!

dd is the complete opposite--type A perfectionist all the way!

I'll check in with you all tomorrow. Hope my SIS who are entering the twilight zone after chemo find your way back to the bright side soon! Paula

Jewels,

Please tell me if I am wrong or right? 

I went to work today (Clinical) and we (classmates and instructor) all agreed that we would work until 6:30pm and then meet at a CHINESE RESTAURANT for a celebration for finishing this level in school.  Long story short  when I meet up and everyone is in a KOREAN restaurant next to the Chinese Restaurant.  I walk in and I asked everyone what are we doing here?  I thought we all agreed to have Chinese food, no one said anything to me being that I am very outspoken and a Lil Warrior.  I am very openminded to other foods but please let me have the choice to make up my mind on what I want to try to eat while on Chemo.  I was so mad, I thought it was rude.  They ate fish that was brought to the table with the head,eye, mouth and sharp teeth, octopus, squid and beef and pork with tons of different spices and hot sauces so I went next door to the restaurant that we were suppose to (originally planned) eat at and order some shrimp rice and brought it back to the Korean restaurant and ate with my class.  My instructor brought her 85 year old mother and I can tell she was not up to trying Korean food and our Instructor was making faces when she was trying the food.  It was a bad nite for me, I dont know if Chemo makes me touchy or sensitive but I honestly thought that was rude.  It made me feel as if my opinion didnt matter, let alone my instructors opinion!

So am I right or wrong for being upset?  

Hi Everyone,

I have not caught up with all the postings. Is it too late for me to add my story of BC?  So much happened this week, It's hard for me to go on line after chemo, it messes with my eyes and I seem to go into some kinda depression thing too, but the pain was a big thing this time.

Dana  I don't know how you are getting chemo so many times a week. Once every 3 weeks is a killer for me. You are very strong and you are in a bad relationship, I can't beleive you have cancer and that man only thinks of himself. He needs a reality check!

D1 and KathyL

My Story:  On one Believes Me:    My story is kinda long and involved because I did not have any medical insurance and every time I went to a doc. they did nothing for me.  During all the dark days while I was sick I kept feeling my Aunt Shirley's spirit. It was like she was trying to guide me to get some help. And telling me not to give up. I don't know how I have gotten threw this ordeal. But I am staying strong and positive since my dear daughter and soon to be dear son in law is helping me to get well an taking care of me. When I first asked my daughter if I could stay with her, I was staying at my mom's taking care of my mother and I was sicker than her. But my brother thought I was a bum and told me to go. I also helped them with thier bills. When I got to my daughter's home I was suicidal and just wanted to give up. Everybody thought I was in a nervous breakdown and not dying.  In Jan 07, it started with pain in my right arm and I could feel a lump under my arm. And my doc said it was not a lump but swollan and still did nothing. I thought it was a cyst, I have had cystic breast for 20 yrs. Yes, in my head it made since to go out and get a mammogram, but I thought it was something else. I was having trouble with water on the heart and inflammation in my lungs form my injury.  and was trying to get feeling better before I went and got a mammogram when nothing was wrong was going to show up. In May 07 I went to the ER, because my right arm hurt so bad and I swelled up almost 100 pds of fluid. Since I had no insurance I was treated very badly at the hosp. And they refused to check my arm. Treated me like a nut case and all I wanted was attention. I have never lied about being sick before. I have worked all my life. I have had all my working credits in since 2002, I am 48 years old. In July 07, I went to a new doc, and I feel God sent me to him. He looked at my swollen arm and breast  and said to go and get a mammogram. Yes, it had been 5 years since my last mammogram and I had been getting them for 20 yrs. I guess I was  in denile. This new doc told me to get a free mammogram at the Barbara Karmanos Institude. I went in to the gyn for a breast exam frist, she was not interested in checking my breast too much and wanted to do a pelvic, I told her I had a hysterectomy and did not need it I compiled . I insisted on a appt for a mammogram and she set it up. Aug 07, I went for my mammogram and I remember sitting there in a gown and crying, I thought of my dear Aunt Shirley who died of bc Dec 05 of BC. I felt her spirit so strong and it was like she was there with me. They took me back did the mammograms I waited for the films to develop and then they called me back for dinostic mammograms, I knew it was bad. 3 days later I got a call from the gyn and she was  crying. Saying they found a lump and she made me a appt for a surgeon and it's probabley a pussy old cyst and let the surgeon take it out. I said ok, the next day I went to the appt and I got my special letter delivered saying I had a abnormal mammogram. The surgeon set me up with a appt for a needle biopsy that was in Aug 07. 10 days later it came back with positive results for Invasive Ductal Carninoma and DCIS. Sept 07, I had my first lumpectomy and sential node biopsy. 2 nodes removed and neg for cancer. My pathology report came back after 1 week and bad news I still have cancer in my right breast. I was so shocked I expected the cancer in lympth nodes not the breast. Started having Tia's and could not have surgery again until Dec 07, second lumpectomy and they did get all the cancer. I had some inflamed tissue around my nipple, so the surgeon did a biopsy during surgery just to be safe. It was neg for cancer.  I know it does not take a genius to know something is on, But in May 06, I was hurt real bad on the job and I injured my spine and my back ruptured. I was refused comp insurance by my boss. And I was in so much pain and agony that I was confused. I did not know I only had a year to file for my comp insurance and I got nothing. I'm premantly injured and then I got BC. I have lost 69 to 70 pounds since I blew up like a balloon May07. Oh I continued t work for that horrible boss, because I was a health aide and I was trying to take care of my dying mother. I got so bad, I could only work 10 hours a week. Just with my mom, I went threw all the money i had and lost everything and no one beleived me that I was injured or not. Not my family, no one. After I told that boss I had breast cancer, she fired me and that boss is a bc survivor. Thats my story, hope it's not too late to summit. I think that's great that you guys are going on Opra wearing our t-shirts. What a great idea. We do have to stress don't wait years to get a mammo, get it every year. I hope my story is not too sad or depressing. I'm on my way to being cancer free and all I want to do is put my life back together. Start living and instead of thinking about ideas to take myself out of this world.

To everyone coming out of the fog, hope everyone is feeling better.

To my knowledge BC had never been in my family until my Aunt Shirley got it, back in the 1990"s. And I have had one cousin get it, she is doing fine. And now me.

Hugs, SHeSHe

I have read all your stories, we are in this together.

Hey JJs,

I'm home from my first round of Taxol. Feeling pretty good right now--a little tired from all the benadryl, but I napped a little during my infusion. My blood work had improved dramatically since Tues. w/ my WBC up to 8.9 (4.something earlier) and Hgb now 9.3 instead of 8.1. Everything went very smoothly. My nurse hovered for the first 30 min. I also was on BP monitor thruout the infusion. About 1.5 hours into the tx my cough started acting up... nurses descended on me from every corner! Nice to know they are diligent.

Carol- you are such a SHERO and a good example to all of us for reaching out to those around you and offering your help and support. BTW, how is Kalen? Hope she is doing well.

Dana- your feelings always matter, but there will always be people who won't get it. Vent those feelings to those who care and choose to respond to every situation positively (hear, hear SIS Kimberly--take her advice--there is no use wasting negative energy on clueless people!) As always, hang in there, LW!

Tina- you and our NE sisters (isn't someone here from Maine?) definitely see more than your "fair" share of snow. I spent a year of high school as an exchange student in Finland. The snow, darkness, and cold temps took some getting used to but it is a beautiful country. I've never been to MN, but I know the area has a good number of Finnish immigrants so I suppose they must have felt at home there. Anyway, like you, I am waiting for spring and taking every opportunity to soak up the sunshine when it makes an appearance.

Sheshe- What a journey you have had to take care of yourself. I'm so sorry that you haven't had the family support you needed. Are they coming around now that they realize that they were wrong? I'm so happy that you are finally getting the care that you deserve!

KathyL- glad you're making the most of your productve days!

Kimberly- good to see your post. Glad you're still feeling well at this point. May your fog be thin and rise quickly!

D1- I am a positive person by nature, but I know the Jewels have given me an extra dose of strength to fight this battle--nice analogy to the military, BTW. I was a little extra chatty today, thanks to my steroid buzz. I DID march in today on a mission. I need to start my rads within 2 weeks after finishing chemo in order to take my students to their conference in Dallas this June. So, I met with my onco's NP today and gave her my game plan--I mentioned it to my onco Tues. and he indicated that it was doable. Of course, all of this is contingent on my blood levels staying up and chemo remaining on schedule...

Deb1023- hope you've had an uneventful day in the chemo suite today. I really did get the suite today- the corner rooms are enclosed and have a window to the outside world. Say plenty of sunshine this morning, but the clouds rolled in right at the same time as my Benadryl coma and it is raining now..

Mom just delivered my supper--time to go!

Paula

Hi all,

Speaking of chemo brain...

I went to pick up my oldest dd from school yesterday, got in the carpool line, kept moving forward w/ the flow, & before I knew it, I was leaving the school...without my daughter. I don't know where my mind was at, but for some reason I just took off! The kids are picked up in the back of the school, so I had to circle around & get in line again. My dd thought it was pretty funny - I was kind of panicked, though, because I have such a small window of time when I have to be back at the house for my twin 1st graders, who ride the bus, to get home.  When I'm running on time I'm usually back at the house by 3:30, & the bus drops them off at 3:38. I do have neighbors I can call in case of an emergency, & the twins both have house keys in their backpacks, which they have learned how to use - anyway... I swear, I'm such a mess. Somedays I feel like a menopausal basketcase and a chemo - space cadet!

Had my 2 week/post chemo labwork done today - my blood counts are the lowest they've ever been. Ironically, I feel pretty good today. But, as usual, my family has impeccable timing....

My oldest dd came home today from school crying b/c she felt horrible & mad!!- she "couldn't believe" how I let her go to school this morning. But this AM she only had a sore throat, & no fever. Well, when she got home she was burning up, dizzy, & complained of a headache - I was able to squeeze her in at the ped's office, & luckily my mom was available to take her ( not a good day for me to be hanging out at the ped's office ).  Turns out she has strep throat.

I feel bad for her, b/c this afternoon starts Spring break for all 3 - & she had been counting down the days! I shouldn't worry too much - last month my youngest dd had strep & my onc told me that  most adults are immune to strep. Even so, I have her quarantined up in her room, just to be safe.

I guess w/ bc I'm always going to feel like I'm dodging some kind of bullet.

Hope everyone has a pleasant, se free weekend!

Therese 

Hi Jewels! I've been in the mist for about a week after my chemo last week. I'm happy to report that my extra anti-nausea this week worked and I had NO BARFING!!!! Yippppeee!!! I have had a 3-day migraine, though, so I guess that's the pay-off. I have tons of posts to catch up on - might take me a while.

I had an interesting "mishap" last night. Went to bed about 11:00 with a bad migraine - after taking all of my migraine meds. I didn't eat much yesty - just didn't feel that great. About 3:00 a.m. I woke up and decided I wanted to move to the couch - head was still killing me. I got up, went potty, walked out of the bedroom with my pillow, and the next thing I know, I'm across the room, running into the piano and tumbling to the floor after blacking out. My dh is a VERY heavy sleeper so he didn't hear a thing. I laid on the floor for about 15 minutes until I decided to crawl back to the bedroom and wake up my dh to help me get to the couch. I have never blacked out before and it was so freaky. I spent the day on the couch and made the dh come home early from work today in case I had any other problems. So far I've been okay - just kind of weak and tired.

Well, I'll close for now. Hope all of our Jewels are doing okay and fighting those se's. {{{{HUGS}}}} to everyone!

Julie

Hi Gems,

I just wanted to send out some support myself. Thanks for all the positive encouragement. God did not bring me this far to forget me. I know I will kick Cancer's Ass and so will each and everyone of you. Then it's back to claim my life.

Therese  Oh no you almost forgot dd at school, I thought that was funny, I'm glad you remembered her.

wvgirl  That was a real tear jerker poam and nice of them to give you flowers. Anyone working going through chemo deserves flowers or candy every week.

Paula  I hope you are feeling ok from your treatment. The new cancer center did the same procedure on me, because my treatment changed from ac to tc. And the old cancer center never monitored my b/p from the beginning. I do love new cancer center, they called me and apolized to me and made me new calender shedules I can tell they are more professional. I hope dh is ok, let us know how the MRI comes out. I'll pray for you both.

D1  Glad you got sheduled for all your test, hope they all come out clean. At least with all the le brace and sleeves and glove, you can get well. I loved your analagy of bc patients going to battle, You are right we are in the fight of our lives. War is war doesent' matter what country or what state. War is Hell!

Joan, Deb I hope you both are well from your treatment too.

KathyL  Get some rest!

Sis Kimberly  Get some rest and hope you are feeling better real soon. Rest and then kick some cancer butt! I know it's hard being on 3 different chemo's at the same time, 2 is kicking my butt. One day we all will be toasting to being cancer free!!

Thinking about everyone, Sheshe

Tinalee  Sending you the sunshine

Morning Gems,

Been a lazy morning, woke at 6:00, and made it all the way to the recliner, been surfing since.  Looking for the killer deal on new golf clubs for the dh.  His bd is upcoming and I would love to get him new clubs before we go south. 

Julie, you must have had yourself quite a scare Thurs nite.  Sounds like the cumulative effect of txt along with the killer 3 day migrane took its toll.  Sure hope that your doing much better today and enjoying your weekend a bit.

YEAH ...  for NO BARFING!!!!

Sheshe, sounds like your new onc center is getting your schedule squared away, glad that your much happier with them.  I couldn't imagine going to a place that I wasn't being treated in an exceptional manner.

Paula, hoping that your dh had some good news from his appt.   I'm with you in hoping that txts stay on schedule, even though I don't have a planned event, I would just like to get that part of the party started and be done with it all.  "Preaching to the choir, or what?"

Vettegal, hey gal hoping that your problem of the "Sharts" as so affectionately refered too, has avoided you this go around.  I think they took a trip West. 

wvgirl, wow, another mamo that didn't show a 3cm tumor.  Do you know if it was done with digital mamo? 

I would ask my onc about the thyroid findings to educate yourself as to what they mean.  Understanding what your reading is empowerment for the mental game.

Well probably should motivate, kinda nervous to stray to far from home, need to atleast get a short walk in.  Figure I can take my cel phone and call the dh if I have an "emergency" of sorts , and he can run me back home.

Our plans for a skate meet in Oregon we're canceled, thank god not because the ds' grades were bad.  They didn't get enough participants for the meet, California had a meet the week before so alot of skaters opted for that one.  So we're off to friends home for dinner tonight, she's doing a little St Paddys day corn beef and cabbage.  Wow, cabbage and the SHARTS this could be scary!!!

Hope your all having as good of day as possible,

Carol