An OPEN letter to KATIE6

Yay Beth!!!!

i PM'd you. 

Wait... she called your bosses???!!!! That is disgusting.

Beth, I'm so glad you're still here and that you outed this pig. I am sure if your bosses ever doubted the dedication, hope and support you give, there would be a kajillion TRUE sisters here who would be happy to let them know!
Hugs and love

Erica

Glad to have you back Beth, you are an important member of these boards. I have no idea what the thread is really about because your post was deleted.

Damn....I missed out on this WHOLE thing!!! Anyway, good for you, BETH!!! I just have to say it really bugs me when I see "THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN REMOVED BY THE COMMUNITY" because aren't WE the community?



Anne

Hi Beth,

   I read and post for my mom, Teena. I mostly lurk, but even though I am usually silent I and my mother have gotten tremendous support from the boards. You all helped me help her through chemo, and even recommended oncs when we moved to northern CA. We wouldn't have made it without the community here.

    I have been amazed again and again by this beautiful sisterhood, and (silently) continue to particpate by sending prayers and good thoughts along.

Sometimes I don't post as I don't want to intrude, but I couldn't hold back from expressing my pleasure about your return to the boards. Yaaaay!

    I have passed on some of your suggestions and ideas to my mom as she finds her way into life post bc. I'm glad you are back. You are a bright light here!

Myisha, for Teena
 

Glad you're staying Beth, it seems like that's what you wanted to do all along. 

I'm also glad that the letter was removed because this kind of open fighting and calling people out has no business on a support site, IMHO. These public alleged accusations only add to the drama and of the board,especially when people feel the need to take sides against each other. It takes a lot of gall to repost something that has been removed and not take the hint about this, no matter how you think you were wronged.

I agree that people should be held accountable, especially if they are trying to really mess up some one's life.  As to it taking a lot of gall to repost something that has been removed, the post was removed within 40 minutes - that says to me that some one is playing games with multiple log ins and acting as the "police".  I don't want one individual to determine what I can read.  I see that that same individual deleted the link to the reposting.  This is just not right. 

This is what Beth wrote: 

"Open letter to katie6

If I could go back to that very day when there were words exchanged between us on the political thread, and I sent you that PM asking you to leave me alone, I would.

Maybe I should've contacted you months earlier when you singled me out in the march on washington thread. Maybe if I had said something to you then, things would be different.

I am having trouble expressing in words how I feel about you contacting the organization that I work for. Your motives were cruel and unwarranted, no matter how you spin it.

I have heard your reasoning and your side of the story as you have stated it privately to other members on this site. And let me tell you this,

I'M NOT BUYING IT.

If you are upset about being ostracized from this community, it is no ones fault other than your own. You were the one who chose to twist my private PM to you, and make it public, stirring up controversy. You were the one who forwarded that PM, (not including any of your responses to me) to several board members.

You have been a member for almost 2 years, with less than 50 posts, and some of them are in threads that are heated. From the political threads, to your harsh words in the bimmer threads, being a member of the boards it's your right to state your opinion. Even if I disagreed with everything you've ever written, I could NEVER imagine phoning your place of employment.

I learned a big lesson from this. That if I am to represent my organization, even in an automatic signature, my words have to be chosen wisely. However, I will not allow, one mean spirited person, to take away from everything that I've done in this community that is positive.

I agonized for a week over deleting posts, changing my identity, my photo, signature, bio's etc... trying to figure out a way that I could continue to post, while representing the best interest of my company.

And for what? All because you have such a blatant disregard for me, that you do something that was really so low...

Well, guess what?

I've talked it over with my bosses.

I'm not leaving these boards.

I'm not walking away from my sisters, who gave me strength when I had none, who talked my down from every ledge, and have stood by me through all the good and bad times in the last 3 years of my life.

I refuse to let your antics take away from my personal support, my friendships that I hold so dear, and the chance that I have to help women every day on those boards... whether they need a laugh, education about reconstruction, or makeup and fashion tips.

I have learned an important business lesson, and I guess I should be thankful for that.

I truly hope you take accountability for what you did, and the repercussions it has had on my career and within this community.

I am so disappointed, that one sister could do this to another. I really think if you had only taken the time to talk to me, and get to know me, things would have been different.

To everyone else-- I'm still figuring out if I have to start over under a new name, and still working on getting my auto signatures removed from every post in the last year, but I am here to stay.

I'm sorry that the community was dragged through this entire ordeal from start to finish, but I'm really thankful that so many of you supported me, and always have my best interest at heart."

{edited to end quotes}

Ditto Hi5, Pearl

Exactly right, Rocktobermom!

Oh crap-

I happen to like going back to previous posts and double-checking them to see if my chemo-brain missed anything.  It sucks that your posts are all gone. 

But at least you aren't, Dearest Beth!!!!!!!!!!!!   

Love and prayers, Deb

Oy gevalt.

Way late to all this, and with perhaps only a "Cliff Notes" understanding of all that has taken place, and the discussions and events which preceded recent developments, I just couldn't help but have a couple of random thoughts and observations.....

This Comment has been removed by the "Community"

This Poster (ie, BethNY) has been embraced by the actual Community

The former sentence (with the word "sentence" both literal and figurative, as in judge and jury) can apparently be generated by one pitiful individual, and certainly as few as five objectors to the original comment

The latter is a real-life action and response to a spirited, caring, honest, generous human being who has shared, laughed, cried, listened, supported other members of a very real community. That's what happens when one invests one's heart and soul into participating in and making a community what it is, and becomes an integral part of it. Usually (though not always) a community notices, and appreciates, and rallies.

I have seen my share of online spats and disagreements, and fights which rapidly descended into vicious and personal attacks, and yes, sadly, even unethically crossing virtual boundaries by dragging grudges into the "offline" world so far as to threaten homes and livelihoods.

It is so very distressing to learn of what has happened here. Here. Of all places.

One cannot "fix" a pathetic, desparate, empty individual who wants to fight for the sake of fighting, hurt for the sake of hurting, satisfy some pathological need to cause distress ot others.

What can - and should immediately and urgently - be fixed is this NON-community ability to censor and block comments by Community members

Aliere - VERY well said.  I've been the victim of "report this comment" abuse to the point where my support of a dying woman on this board was removed by the "community" simply because a few people wanted to remove enough of my posts to get me banned.  The mods reinstated my posts and "unbanned" me but it shows how terrible this system is.  I think it used to be only 3 were needed to "report this comment " to remove a post but to try and solve the abuse of it they increased the number.  People who report posts that are not in violation of the rules are supposed to get in trouble for it but I don't believe they ever have.  It's gotten to the point where I struggled with whether to comment here and it shouldn't be that way..

Anne ... hugs.  It wasn't the "community"