Starting chemo Dec 2007
Comments
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Lori--I had the same peeling toes thing after about the second taxol tx. I did have quite a lot of the neuropathy and just attributed it to that. I thought maybe in combination with not being on my feet quite so much due to being down after tx. Seems like there are so many side effects that I just thought this was probably another one.
I have one more taxol to go on Thurs. then see the drs again mid March for where we go from here. I agree with Suz, better days are coming. Spring has to help!
You ladies are way more active on your board here than the Nov. one where I started. Just popped in to add to the discussion. I wish everyone well and only those of us going through this know just what strength it takes to keep up the fight against this disease. Best wishes to all you strong breast cancer warriors.
Susan -
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for the congratulations! It feels unreal to be done with chemo. I don't care whate se's I have -I feel I can handle anything knowing it's last time. I was greeted with balloons, champagne (will have to wait for that), flowers, hundred kisses, and lots of food (in fact taking out breakfast casserole out now). Wow do I feel overwhelmed by the love and support of friends and family. I can't wait to give back. Thank you all for your support and encouragement as well. We are almost all there. Today in paper they were posting where to hike to see wildflowers so spring is definitely upon us! Have a great day,
KMK
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Re: fingers & toes, awhile back Sal mentioned how her therapist massaged her fingers and toes to help with neuropathy(sp). I started doing this about 4 times a day with a very thick greasy cream (Elizabeth Arden eight hour cream) Usually cover my feet with old socks afterwords. So far they are looking ok, I definitely have had pins & needle feelings in both this time around. Don't know if the massage helps but it cant hurt.
Susan, You are more than welcome to jump in on discussions. The more the merrier.
Take care all, Hugs
Suz
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Wow! I was not expecting bone pain in the pelvis and hip. My pain pills leftover from surgery took the edge off, but I was in tears before the next time I could take the pain meds again. Today I am still hurting, but not enough for pain pills. Now constipation is kicking in...
The only really strange effect is my hands are red on the back, but I think the skin is just really dry. Also, the tips of my fingers and toes feel numbish. Typing is a bit strange right now.
Still, at least with pain I was able to take a walk and I wasn't in bed as much. I still have to say taxol was a bit better....so far.
Kate
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Hi Kate,
I am sorry for your discomfort-hope your week gets better as time goes on. For consitipation, my nurse suggested "senna" laxative (natural) which I took night of treatments and the 2nd day as I think the steroids mess with your system. Hope that helps, take care,
KMK
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Poor Kate--that's miserable. I take a ducolax whenever I take a pain pill, plus two at night. It doesn't FIX it, but it's very gentle and helps.
I'm such a pill-popper lately: antidepressants, painkillers, stool-softeners, anti-nausea, sleeping pills...
I never even used to take vitamins!
But, I figure, two more weeks... I'll do whatever I need to to get through it now. I do have a feeling these are going to be hard weeks--I can't seem to catch a break on the yuck--if it's not one thing, it's another.
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Hi Kate, I completely understand,
I have had a lot more pains in the lower & mid back, groin, thighs & legs this time around, completely different from the nuepogen bone pain.This has had me in tears more often that not. I could barely walk for two days ,then I tried the prescription given by the oncologist, Gavapentin. It seem to have backed it off, now I just have to tolerate the daily neupogen inj.
Its makes me naseous to even get it ready.One day at a time, and if that doesn't work, break it down to one hour at a time. We can make it through this as we are much stronger than we think.
Much love and hugs sent your way,
Suz
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Hi girls! Our family just got back from sunny Florida......OMG.........80 degrees everyday, and mostly sunshine. Boy did it feel good! I did not want to return to the cold........Read two books in the shade, and ate fresh fish each night! What more could a post-chemo patient ask for? I thought about our group so often, how supportive and encouraging we are are for eachother. I hope you know how much your cyber support has meant to me!
So, back to reality, and rads tx start today. MSK Center is 30 minutes away, so not too bad. I think I am scheduled for 35 txs. One day at a time. So many of you are finishing up chemo really soon! Hooray!
Oh, BTW, I forget who asked, butI felt really good three weeks after my last chemo tx. ( granted, I had TC treatement, and I did not have to endure the evil A) Just sooo tired, but I think that is mostly from not sleeping well due to night sweats, and a mind that does not stop THINKING!! AHH!
Sal, I got the cards, thank you, and to your sis too. I am sending you something today in the mail. I only have your library address, so I hope you are not too far from there. Should be there NLT than Weds.
Sending lots of love and positve vibes to you all. xo cindy
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Cindy, Welcome back!!!
I'm so glad you had a good time with lots of r&r in the sunshine. You just went on one of my perfect vacations. Sun, sand, palm tree's, books & seafood oh yea & 80 degree weather
. I hope you enjoyed every second of it.We have missed your smile & kill em tiger attitude. Hope rads goes ok for you. Did you get any sort of a tan while on vacation or did you have to cover up all the time?
Lots of love and taking a warm Florida hug from you.
Suz
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Hey Suz !
I cringe just thinking about how sore your little body has been. I agree with one day at a time.....I was saying the same thing today when the tech told me my last rad tx was April 16th. That seems like forever from today.........so one step/day at a time. The spring will be even sweeter this year !
No, no sun for me. I wore a big floppy hat the whole time, and the day we went fishing I even wore a long sleeve wetsuit. I was so scared of getting sunburn, since the doc said I would be super sensitive to sun as a result to chemo. No tan, but just feeling the sun and the temps were awesome.
xo cindy
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Can I whine?
I'm sick, sick, sick of this! I cannot get comfortable. If I'm not hurting, I'm sweating, or freezing, or both, or all three. My lips are getting numb(!), to go with the fingers and toes. I'm spacey and dizzy. I'm sore all over, and sicky feeling. My poops are like baseballs (sorry, TMI?). Nothing tastes good. My nose is runny and bloody. I'm bald!
?!!It's really been hitting me how strong this stuff is--serious chemicals! I feel poisoned!-- though I know that's not exACTly what it is. Not good, though.
I'm sick of myself--I'm sure my family is sick of me. I try to keep my whining down to a minimum, but all I can seem to think/talk about is how crummy I feel. It's been nearly three months--four if you count recovery from surgery--that I've been NO FUN AT ALL!!! I've had enough!!!! Blah!!! I hate this!!!
OK, that was more of a rant than a whine. Sorry. Thank you. It's so good to know you all are there and know what this is like. I'm very grateful for each of you.
Cindy, sounds like you had the vacation you truly deserved--I'm so glad! I'm glad you're still checking in, too--you're always such a positive voice, and it's so nice to hear you're feeling better (it was me that asked)!! Any hair yet?
Giant hugs to everybody. Or gentle pats, if the giant hugs hurt.
love--
Amy.
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Amy, you absolutely can whine. And rant. And rave. And scream. Heck, you can even throw things if it helps (since I know I won't get hit). Because this week is your LAST week of chemo... you are SOOOO close to the finish line!!! Then all these nasty chemicals will (granted, slowly) be leaving your system and you will start returning to your sweet, patient, healthy self. So whine away, sweetie. You got it comin to ya!!!!
Welcome Susan from NE... nice to hear fresh voices once in a while.
Welcome home Cindy, and go git em with the radiation... zap those stinkin cells!
Suz, my aches and pains were worse this 2nd time around too. Supposedly they weren't going to be as bad since I didn't get the Neulasta shot this time, but I guess since the aches/pains are cumulative it all evened out. Figures. I tried to go in to work yesterday and lasted one hour (how pathetic)... sitting just really hurt my butt.... how lame does that sound? But I think it's because all my weight is on my hips/joints/groin area. But even lying down hurts because my weight is either on my back or a side, and it hurts. Standing-- then my ankles, knees and feet hurt. Can't win. The hydrocodone helped over the weekend, but yesterday it didn't seem to touch it, which was discouraging... last time around I was feeling better by Monday. Oh well. Just ride it out and wait for it to pass.
But I'd still take this over the sinus headaches, semi-queasiness, etc etc from AC. I'm in pain, but otherwise I'm feeling pretty darn good. Even my nose bleeds have gotten somewhat better (er, well, they're just different actually and not as constant). Yeah, the hot flashes suck... about one every hour... whip that hat/wig off and strip off your shirt (can't do that at work). And the tingly/numbness thing is getting worse... woke up the other night and couldn't feel my fingers. Oh well. Mention it to the onc and keep an eye on it.
Hi and hugs to everyone else. Hang in there, Kate... we're nearing the end!
Gotta go lie down now. Butt hurts.
-Sal
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{{{{Hugs}}}} to you all! I'm sorry you are feeling so horrible. Man, it's miserable stuff and a miserable time and you have every right to complain! Big shoulders here listening
Just wish there were more we could do for one another. It pains me to think of what you are still going through. Please know I keep each and everyone of you in my thoughts and prayers 
Sally~ Those cards are BEAUTIFUL! Your sister is one creative lady! Tell her so many times, thank you! I'll be using them all soon!
what a sweet heart to do those!Keeping you all in my thoughts ladies. Rest when you can and beat that devil back when you can't!
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Hi all!
Amy, go ahead and whine all you want! Who better to understand than all of us here who are in the same boat! You're coming to the end of the rainbow though (last tx) and I hope you find a big pot of gold (feeling like your old self soon!) We are all coming to an end (of the chemo) and while some of us will be done or moving on to surgery or rads, we should all give ourselves a HUGE pat on the back for a job well done! What we have all been going through is not easy but we are doing it and will soon be done "doing it"! Hang in there girl...better days are coming sooner than you think!!
Suz and Sal, Sorry you are dealing with those stupid body aches! Trust me, I know they can be rough!! I'm starting on the Motrin right away this weekend and hopefully won't have it as rough as last time!! Knock on wood, I have not been bothered at all with the numbness or pins & needle feeling! Hope it stays completely managable for you all! I can't wait until Friday's tx is done....then I can say "only 1 more to go"!!! Yahoo!
I saw the surgeon again today and no tumors can be felt on physical exam (like before), the tumor in the breast (or that was in the breast) can't be seen on ultrasound (like before) and the lymph node we have been watching (positive biopsy) has shrunk again and is now smaller than 1 cm! I can't help but be estatic!! The Dr. commented today that I have responded to the chemo the way they wish every woman would respond!! How cool is that!! The Dr. faxed over the order for my MRI which will be done on March 21st, exactly 1 week after my last chemo! We are also getting ready to set a surgery date which should be by the end of the first week of April! Remember, I've got a schedule to stick to since I WILL be going to Vegas on June 23rd! Oh, I can't wait!! Plus, my insurance deductible starts again on June 1st so I would like to get in as many rads as I can before that!
Gotta go pick up the house while I'm feeling good!! Have a great day all! Lori
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Hi All, Well today is definitely a better day. Thanks everyone for all the encouraging well wishes, It means the world to me. I think I finally have the right drug combo to deal with the taxol & neupogen pain se's.
Amy, You can rant and rave all you want. Thats why we're here. I sure here you about sick of being sick, and wanting life to be normal, well whatever the new normal is anyway.
Sal, as for the soaking wet hot flashes, then freezing cold oh... about once an hour on the hour. Thats starting to really suck. I'm not sure if I can take something for that if I'm triple neg? I will ask my onc next Monday. Hope you can find some way to get comfortable with all the aches.Lori, Thats incredible the way your tumors are responding to the chemo. It just makes all of this so worthwhile, congratulations.
Hope every one else is having an ok day with little or no se's. Big hugs (sorry about the sweat) and lots of love sent out to all of you.
Suz
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Suz and gang, I am sweating right there with you, almost like clock work. And with the rad tx, I am not supposed to wear deodorant! Everybody has to suffer if I have to !! Ha !
Lori, Wow ! What awesome news ! Keep celebrating!! You endured allot to get those nasty tumors to shrink and evaporate!
Sal, did you get the package? ( sounds like a drug deal !) Hope you and the other ladies are feeling less sore today.
Love to all you ladies! xo cindy
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Suz--my nurse said she's never heard of anything that really seems to work for the hot flashes, so I haven't tried anything. I've heard some stuff--evening primrose?--but I never checked out whether it was ok re: estrogen stuff. It's weird--the last couple of days, I feel sicker when I'm having them--another thing that I hope is an indication that it's the taxol. Sal, I'm with you on the violent strip-downs--it's the one time it helps to have no hair, eh? Just hard when you're at the store...!
Thank you all so much for your sweetness and sympathy, while you're all feeling at least as crummy as me. Yesterday was just a really bad day, physically AND psychologically. Today, I decided to really, really let myself off the hook for the next couple of weeks--ask for everything, lie down as much as I want, watch stupid tv--I'm pretty much done, this is the final stretch--nothing's going to go terribly wrong if I just kinda check out for the rest of the time. Right? So there. I spent the afternoon on my bed, reading cheesy magazines and watching Oprah, and feeling NO GUILT--it was great!
Lori, I just love hearing about your success! It's wonderful!
My husband just compared my doing chemo to flea-bombing a house after finding one flea--we just want to be really, really sure there are no more fleas. I said I feel pretty much as if I've been exposed to a giant dose of insecticide, so it seems like a good metaphor! Then we both thought about how I'd look in a giant, striped tent.
hugs and kisses to all you lovely ladies.
A.
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AMY, forgot to tell you I sent you a private message with some links. xo cindy
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OK, after hearing about your hot-flashes, Suz and Sal, I want to take a hot-flash survey--you guys are having about 1 an hour? Have you been keeping track, or is that just a guess? How about other folks--more, or fewer? Do you get them every hour at night, too?
I haven't been keeping track-- I would guess that I get a few every hour during the day, but it depends on my level of activity--as in, going from one room to another, eating, drinking, THINKING about hot flashes
(I'm having one now...!)... I only have a couple at night, though. I'm going to try to count them today.So the other question is, for those of you who were already going through menopause--what is typical? A few a day? Every hour? More? Is it just totally different for different people?
I hadn't considered the possibility that I was experiencing an atypical number of hot flashes, and I've been feeling like a wimp for being so annoyed by them--also dreading actual menopause! (I'm still hoping that my periods will resume after all this--ha ha, what a thing to hope for!!)
Not that I'm going to be able to do anything about it, I'm just curious more specifically what other folks' experience has been. My nurse said I'm likely to have more lupron shots, so this will be my reality for a while, if that's the cause of the flashes.
Hope everybody's comfy today.
Love as usual--
A
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Lori-- SUCH great news on your tumor and lymph node. You will be SO ready for Vegas!!
Cindy-- didn't get today's mail yet. Something to look forward to... I love getting mail!
wishiwere-- enjoy the chemo-free life!!! We're nearly there too.
Amy-- I laughed out loud on your flea bombing analogy. You are such a hoot.
And yes on the hourly hot flashes during the day. I don't seem to get them as often at night (or maybe I sleep through them?), but they are "hotter" at night... probably becuse I'm wrapped under blankets when they hit. They seem to only last about 1-2 minutes. Since I hear that hot flashes are a side effect of Tamoxifen, I'm not looking forward to the next 5 years *groan* (and after that, I'll probably start menopause so they'll continue... just shoot me now)
And my periods... *another groan* I think I'm the only one who is still having trouble with those. At least I'm at the point where it's not an actual period, but just spotting; but I've been spotting off-and-on for the past 2 weeks... just when I think I'm over it, it starts again (TMI?).
But moving on.
Today was lab day. Nurse said my red cells were so low I almost needed a transfusion. Not sure if she was just exaggerating, but point made. I had to have extra blood drawn to run some sort of test-- again, loving my IV port. Also got another red cell booster shot.
I also told her that my aches/pains haven't gone away this time (they were worse again today), nor has the tingling. She was concerned and said she'll talk to my onc and see if we need to adjust the dosage, since they don't want to do permanent damage. Here's the kicker-- ran into my onc later in the morning and told him the same thing. He said "well hopefully you'll feel better by the weekend" and "at least there are only 2 treatments left"... in other words, "you're doing fine. hang in there." Do male dr's have any sensitivity or reality at all? If I still feel like this next week when I go in for tx, and he hasn't decided to make any changes, I'll definitely have a serious talk with him about MY consequences.
But for now, I'll suck it up and see how it goes.
Thinking about the ladies who haven't posted in a while (like Laura). Hope they are all doing well.
Big, huge hug to you all.
-Sal
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Been up for about 12 hours; I have 20 little tally marks on my hand for hot flashes--haha! So, I guess that's less than I thought, but more than one/hour...
Am I bored or what?
<-- me having a hot flash.Sal, my husband is the funny one--he also likes to do this stupid little dance and make electric guitar noises when I have a hot flash because he thinks "Hot Flash" sounds like some cheesy ladies' dance and/or band from the 80's, with big hair and leg warmers, all fanning their chests with their hands. Har dee har har.
Tomorrow is my last day before my last day of chemo-yahoo!
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Amy, So far I am at about one per hour since 8am.
(Amy's dh doin the hot flash dance)
lolSuz
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Congrats to WIW and KMK for finishing chemo!!!! Whoopie!!!!
I have been well and busy, as mentioned before. Fortunately the SE from FEC seem a bit milder each time, other than the fatigue. So I have been able to do more than before, and am trying to catch up on some household stuff as I have a never-ending list of projects. Even so, it is hard to make significant progress when the energy well is running dry. I just had tx #5 of 6 on Monday. Each cycle my WBC is very low, to the extent that they have to re-test my blood the morning of chemo to ensure I am in the range where they can give me the tx. Well, this time it was even lower (.9). They didn't have the neutrophil count yet when I saw the onc, I think the technician was still busy trying to find them in my blood, there were so few. So they prescribed Neulasta, which I gave myself yesterday. Fortunately I have health plan coverage. The Cipro they prescribed for this cycle and the last one, they finally told me, was just to ensure I didn't get any infections since my counts tend to be so low. Today is day 3 and I feel the usual queasiness. But not so much that I couldn't scarf down a big fat burger and fries for dinner, lol.
Like some of you, I have eaten like a pig the week of tx. I've gained some weight but it has been stable the last month or so, and I am doing everything to ensure it doesn't creep up any higher. Have been dancing a bit more and that helps. My wig almost flew off a couple of weeks ago when doing some spins - that was pretty funny. Just tightened it up and all was good, lol. The guy I was dancing with was a bit worried, I must admit!
You ladies are a godsend. Loriann, thanks for mentioning neck and shoulders getting sore with Neulasta - I just noticed this a few minutes ago and was wondering what caused it - now I know!
Happy belated birthday, Marie!
I didn't get a port because I am having (only) 6 chemo tx. My one vein in my arm is so cooked we used a different one this time. I was scared it wouldn't make it through another tx. It is so tight and ropy you can see it and feel it when I stretch out my forearm. I am not sure that this will ever get back to normal. The veins hurt after the tx, sometimes for weeks. They feel bruised and tight.
Loriann, Suz, Sal, Kate and Amy, I am so sorry you have been kicked so hard by the tx and this variety of SE's. I can only hope the time will pass quickly so you can get the tx done and start to feel normal again. I know I am counting the days...Vegas will be great, Loriann!
A big hug to you Amy, you are almost at the finish line and will begin to reclaim your body. Rant on whenever you want. You've earned the right!
Welcome Kimbly! Keep on visiting us!
I feel fortunate as I am not suffering from the Taxol/Taxotere related effects of those of you who are getting that. But I can definitely identify with not being able to feel comfortable for any length of time. Hot flashes from good old fashioned menopause (not chemo) have me either boiling and sweaty or cold and clammy, and I am constantly peeling off and putting back on clothing, wigs, scarves, hats, etc. That slimy wet-head underneath the wig is really horrible. I feel hugely fortunate that I don't get them when I sleep, and with the thermostat turned down low I cover up the speckled egg with the blankets and at least I can get comfortable while sleeping. Since you asked, Amy, the timing of the flashes varies. I have been having them with great regularity for over two years now. When they first came on with a vengeance they were about every 20 mins or so. This would fluctuate as I think I still had times where there was some estrogen floating around in my body. During those times the flashes would go away or there'd be just a couple a day for a few weeks. Anyway, lately it seems to be more like once every hour. My menopause has been much stronger since the cancer adventure began, and I have really resented this assault on my femininity and sexuality. I will mention one thing. Estrogen vaginal cream. This stuff is worth its weight in gold. My onc said it was ok to use, since I am not ER+, and even if I were, it releases very little estrogen into the body. Within one week of using this I started to feel like my old self (in that part of my body, anyway). What a relief! All I can say is that it really sucks that some of you younger ones are having to deal with these hot flashes etc., and for so long with the Tamoxifen. At least I was already in the state....I have a magnet on my fridge with a saucy looking woman that says "I'm still hot - it just comes in flashes now".
Hair - the remaining stubble still valiantly tries to keep growing, so I need to shave it off once a month or it feels irritating and looks really scraggly. Eyebrows and eyelashes more than half gone. Most other body hair hasn't had the nerve to start growing back after the last shaving a month ago.
Cindy, lovely to hear that you got away for a break and some sun. I know it can be damaging, but I really believe some sun is healing and nothing feels better than basking in its warmth, in moderation. I am going to get some sun next week - I am going to see hubby again and we are going to take a little vacation, so I am really looking forward to that, especially now that I have my "mojo" back, lol.
It is such a pleasure to read all of your posts - you really make me laugh, Sal with the balloons, Amy and the Hot Flashes! Lol, the latest rock and roll rage girl band, hehehe. Flea bombing! A perfect analogy! I always refer to my chemo tx as poisoning sessions, since that's exactly what they do. I wish I could be here more often but I am just spreading myself too thin, as always. You are all so wonderful, supportive and encouraging.
Love and hugs to all,
Laura -
Laura, Glad to hear your well and staying busy. Thats great that your going to take another holiday with dh for some fun in the sun. I'm hoping we can sneak away for a bit between chemo & radiation. Will have to see as it's one of our busy seasons.
I'm really glad you mentioned this cream. I didn't even think to even ask the dr's about it. I was a bit embarrassed and I didn't think we could use it anyway. So.... because we are er- we can use it without any problems? I will definitely put this on my list for things to talk to her about on Monday. Thanks again for bringing this up. Big hugs.
Hope everyone is well this evening. Much love.
Suz
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Amy- good luck with your LAST chemo treatment tomorrow. I am SO happy for you. It has been a LOOOOOONG haul!!!
Everybody do the Hot Flash dance!!!!Personal question for you-- I know it has been really rough for you, but here you are at the end of the rainbow. You made it!! Did you find anything that helped when you really got depressed? I'm on day 6 of the non-stop aches & pains and it's really starting to depress me. And next week is supposed to be the bad week (Neulasta shot)... this week was the "easy" week. I'm getting bummed out to think I won't get a couple days to rally before my next round. You never got time to rally since your doses were weekly. How did you do it????? Any advice will be valued.
Good luck tomorrow with your last tx, Amy. And good luck, Lori!!! Only one more for you after tomorrow!!
Cindy-- got your package today!
Sending a message to your inbox. And hey-- how are the radiation tx's going? What's it like?Hugs to everyone,
-Sal
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Hi everyone! Hope all are well (as well as we can be right!). I have had some hot flashes but not hourly or even close to that. I think I've had one today. Guess I've been lucky in that respect, though there have been some nights were I've woken up hot and soaked, jumped up to go to the bathroom and then the PJ's are freezing cold once the air hits them. At that point I just can't crawl back into bed in them and gotta change!
Laura, so glad to hear from you and happy that you are doing good. Another trip to see hubby....what fun!! Enjoy your "mojo"!!
Amy, I just know how excited you are for tomorrow! I'm excited for tomorrow and it's not even my last one but just knowing that 2 weeks from tomorrow will be...Well, Yahoo! The end really is in sight and I've made it!! We all have!! I have to say, there is something to be said for going the dose dense (every 2 weeks) route! It sure gets you done quicker! Four months v.s. six months! I like it!!!
Sal, it feels so good to be so close to the end! You are nipping at my heels too! You hang in there!! I am really hoping I don't get the body aches like last time and will start on the Motrin on Sunday and take it every 4-6 hours as needed and hope that wards them off a bit! They were really bad but luckily lasted only 2 1/2 days.....my lower back started hurting again a couple of days ago and I wondered if it was the Neulasta. I'm very curious to see what my counts are like tomorrow and to ask the nurses about the peeling toes. Mine are fine and the skin under the blisters was fine, probably because they peeled more than two weeks after they first felt blistered....I'm just curious if they have heard of that before. I did mention it to the surgeon and she had not heard of it....it's just a mystery!
Suz, I hope you find something that helps with your hot flashes too and that you are feeling great! Did you get all your ducks in a row with the accountant? I had a heck of a time getting our W2's out this year as I didn't trust myself with the numbers during the week following chemo! Just too many numbers to tie in together when my brain was not in full functioning order! LOL
Hope everyone else it great and staying warm! Darn, I'm ready for some warm(er) weather! Gonna curl in and watch my shows tonight...Survivor and Lost (while flipping to American Idol to see who goes home-Crazy!!)
Number 7 of 8, get ready 'cuz here I come and I'm gonna kick your a**!!! Lori
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Amy, Yea Hoo good luck with your last chemo tomorrow!
Lori, Hope all goes well with yours too,
only one more after this. We're all on the home stretch now.I haven't done too much of anything in regards to paperwork, mostly sort and file. I cant trust myself with numbers. Ive relied heavily on my bookkeeper to keep everything in order this year. She has been such a gem through all this, I just don't know what I would have done without her.
Hope everyone is feeling alright tonight, Much love and hugs. Suz
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Laura, hey girl! It was really nice to hear your update. You amaze me with your dancing. You must be in amazing shape! I tried to do a home project earlier in the week (it became very important that I make a storage ottoman
), and what would have taken me an afternoon took three days--I kept having to lie on the couch and pant. Incredibly frustrating. Anway--so nice to hear from you--have a great time with your hubby!! Sal, I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I really think in many ways the mental component of all this is the hardest part. I also find myself most depressed when I'm feeling most crappy physically, and better as soon as I get a little groove back (used to be a few days, now I get some hours here and there), which says to me that it's not Depression with a capital D like I went through before, but really almost another side effect. But probably my least favorite.
I can't say I really dealt with it very well--whining, self-pity, hibernation-- but in retrospect, I think it should have been something about revising your expectations of yourself, and really, truly, taking it easy on yourself in every way. It has been very hard for me to not feel guilty about letting other people do stuff for me. It was also hard because the way I normally cheer myself up is to find a project to do, and most things I wanted to do turned out to be too hard.
Here are things that have helped. (Most of them seem pretty lame! I bet others have good ones):
-talking to my friends on the phone, shlepping out very slowly with them for tea or a movie, or shopping, if I felt good.
-dumb magazines, dumb tv, dumb movies (have I recommended Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person? so, so good)
-good books
-funny stuff
-chocolate ice-cream (still miraculously tastes good to me)
-making plans for when I feel better
-Scrabble, crosswords
-having other people clean my house
-meeting and talking with all you ladies!!!
What I am sure didn't help was trying to kick my own ass and do stuff that was too hard, or, even worse, beating myself up that I ought to be doing more. I also, I think, detached myself from everything a bit, which may not have been the best way to deal, but who knows...
I hope you know, it is SOOOOO normal to be unhappy in these circumstances. I mean, it's winter, we haven't seen colors in months, it's dark, cold, you feel physically really uncomfortable, and you have something serious to deal with... Just trying to be peppy and power through it isn't always going to work. *I* know you can do it, and you will, and you will finish, and it will be spring, and you will be back to your old self, and feeling good, like REALLY, actually GOOD. Whatever you have to do til then to get yourself through is fair game in my book.
But honey, I need to say-- if you think you're depressed beyond what's normal in these circumstances, take it seriously and find somebody to talk to. I betcha there's even somebody at the hospital who could at least recommend someone. (But ask your nurse, not your doctor, who I'm mad at for being, dare I say, a little insensitive... You don't have to be mad at him, but I am, because you're such a nice person and I really like you.)
I pat you gently on the head.
Poor baby.
Is this long enough? Anybody else dare to ask me for advice!?
Ha ha ha!Tomorrow's my day! I haven't planned anything special, just a quiet inner celebration (YAAAAHOOOOO!!!). In fact, my MIL is coming for the weekend. sigh...
I'll talk to you all soon.
A
-
Sal-- thanks for welcoming me to the group. I'm sorry to read of the many side effects you have been experiencing with little relief. I have the side effects, but after the Nuelasta shot wears off eventually I feel fairly decent again. Last time was my 3rd Taxol and the effects were the least yet. I worked a week later after the treatment. That was the earliest.
Today was my last chemo treatment. I did have side effects from the pre chemo drugs, but that has happened every time. The nurses came and sang and brought a little celebratory cake for me. My husband and a friend took me out for Chinese and desert afterward. Tomorrow is the day I usually feet the worst. Actually, by this point I usually have neuropathy and my toes are not tingling.
As to the hot flash discussion. I have them fairly frequently, but they don't drench me in perspiration. I just get rid of the hat and the socks and that usually takes care of it. I am some concerned about how it will be on tamoxifen also. I had to stop reading about the side effects of that for awhile, it was TMI.
My biggest concern right now is an area they found lit up on my bone scan before chemo. I go back March 19th to have it redone and evaluated as to exactly what is going on there. One nurse told me not to worry, if it is mets, I could live maybe 10 years. That sent me into a depression for quite awhile. Ten years may sound like quite awhile, when it's not you looking at your life and your family without you. This certainly puts into perspective what's important and what we really want to do with out time.
Thank all of you brave ladies for the support I find at this website. i, too, loved the image of the hot flash dance and all of the other uplifting things I find her.
Bless all of you,
Susan -
Hi all...and welcome Susan. Congrats on your last chemo. Amy, I am so happy for you. You are finishing!!
My oncologist isn't giving me the neulasta shot with the taxol. He said he only does it if it makes your counts drop and mine didn't really drop with the taxol.
I'm hoping the pain from the taxol wont be as bad next time, but we'll see I guess. My fingers are still numb just at the tips which is really strange feeling. I hope it's normal.
Recently our hospital built a new oncology area which is just so nice. We now have little curtains that go around our little recliner chair things, and windows that are very big and bright. Before we were in a small room with no windows. Now it's much nicer.
Laura, sounds like you are staying very active. Dancing! Wow, I wish I had that energy. I take walks but my iron levels never get high enough where I can do much more than that without sitting there gasping for air. Needless to say, I've been gaining weight and my oncologist actually acts happy about it! Not me! I want to lose weight. I'm having the same problem with the stubble on the head. It's such a pain. My eyebrows and eyelashes only came off some so far, but I think they are getting thinner each time.
Sal, you are not alone. I have been spotting or bleeding off and on since my first chemo. I have a couple days off at a time. Actually, I'm relieved to hear someone else is having this especially since my oncologist says I have an enlarged uterus and we don't know if it's cancer or just my endometreosis. I'm just trying to deal with one thing at a time. I still have a hysterectomy to deal with as soon as this is over.
Sal, by the way did I thank you for the cards? They are so beautiful! My brain just doesn't work right lately and I keep thinking I did thing, and then I sometimes find out I didn't. I hope this is just temporary. I usually have a much better memory than what I've had lately. Also, sometims I go to say something and say something else instead. I hope I'm not going crazy. My hubby loves to pick on me and chants "chemo brain, chemo brain" anytime I do something stupid.
Everyone here, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily and I am so thankful for all of you. ((HUGS))
I'm Feeling really good now, but that's normal so I'm going to get out and enjoy a walk in the cold snow today. Hope you all have a great day!!
Kate
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