others peoples comments

Cinderella, "you have a child...don't be selfish."  LOL  Just kidding!

Hope you're doing well.  I didn't work so I didn't have to face all the questions.  However, when I do see family and friends they do ask how I'm doing...like, are you still okay?  Kind of timidly.  I tell them so far, so good.

Perhaps you should say, "Yep, I'm doing fine."  Boy would they be confused.  "When's your next chemo?"  answer.."Yep, I'm doing fine."  LOL

Shirley

Right or wrong, it's your decision to stop conventional treatments and no one else's business.

When someone asks ANY kind of question, just respond, "That's so sweet of you to ask, thank you. You always were such a thoughtful person. How have you been doing?"

It doesn't even have to make sense and probably won't...lol...I heard this on a radio pyschologist show and have been dying to use it but no opportunites have presented yet.

If there's ever a time to surround yourself with people who are supportive according to YOUR needs, it's now.  There's only one person who belongs in your number one priority position right now, and it's YOU!  If that's the definition of being selfish according to some people, then be exactly that.  Your coworkers can manage their own case of cancer according to them if the occasion ever arises.  If someone is genuinely concerned about choices you're making, surely they could find a loving way to express it other than making bossy comments. 

I am forever looking for a silver lining in any dark cloud.  I think the true colors of friends, and of people you think are friends, come shining through as we endure treatments.  I hope you can save yourself some stress and use some of the great suggestions in this thread to defuse some of these comments you consider unwelcome.   

"Why do you ask?"

One of my favorite phrases!

That's a good one, Jane. 

What does it say about the state of the world's manners that you introduce your go-to phrase with the words "I usually say..." ???

LOL!  I went through this myself.  Many friends and family members were initially appalled by my decision to forego chemo & radiation.  This resulted in multiple conversations where I was literally grilled on every aspect of my decision.

I finally reached a decision that I am NOT justifying/defending myself any longer.  I will explain once why I have reached this decision to someone who asks and those who don't understand just won't understand. 

Outside of peace from God alone, the best support I have found has been my husband.  Having that special someone who supports you is truly a buffer in a storm.

What has been amazing to me is to hear those in my circle who were staunch supporters of traditional medicine speaking more about natural treatments.  It is interesting how much mis-information there is and false assumptions about traditional medicine.  Once you begin to look into it, you begin to see that the "faith" placed in those approaches is no more sure than what can be seen in natural approaches. 

It just feels good to think that you have access to the best the medical world has to offer.  When listening to my doctors, I felt like "The approach I am taking has been thoroughly tested and is strongly recommended by the medical community as the most effective approach.  I know that the doctors are giving me the best possible treatments to help me battle this." 

I trusted implicitly their experience, know-how, and compassion for my situation...and I still do.  It never dawned on me to question whether all of that experience and know-how actually represented all there was.  I assumed, niavely, that they were trained in all treatment approaches, and were willing to embrace them all.  Nothing has surprised me more in this journey that the apparent wide gap between traitional and alternative approaches, which is sad.

Mo matter how well-intentioned, if doctors are primarily taught only 1 treatment approach (surgery, chemo, radiation), then they cannot speak to the effectiveness of anything else.  It then becomes up to me examine all options and make the decision that is best for me as an individual.

I hope that my journey can wind up being helpful to others who are also seeking options.  To that extent, I will gladly explain my decisions. 

Mia

I chalk it up to "Didn't your mother teach you better than that??"  I want to ask, "Why is this any of your business?  Its my body, its my cancer, and its MY decision!"  (Its right up there with "Why don't you have kids?")

Everyone has a opinion (is there a stronger word than "opinion"?) on what will cure my cancer from fasting to raw foods to colonics to whatever....  Thank God I still have friends who just ask, "How are you?"

I say, go with your gut and use the brains God gave you.  That's what they're there for!

Sunshine