Three month checkup

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abbyglp
abbyglp Member Posts: 417
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
Three month checkup
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  • abbyglp
    abbyglp Member Posts: 417
    edited February 2008

    I was so nice to walk out of the chemo center in october, it was my last hercetin and my last dr. visit. I actually put cancer and all of it behind me when I walked out that door until last week, I had to go have my blood work done and tomorrow I go back for my 3month check up. My knees are shaking and I have felt so depressed. I no I have read on these boards that all this is a normal feeling, but to actually experience it, it makes all the horible memories come back and the fear of hearing its back, and going through all those tests and am I going crazy? for the past week I have had bad dreams about getting bad news. Does going for these check ups ever get better? does someone out there have a secret to getting through the week before they go to see the doctor?

    hugs abby

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Hi Abby....I think that we all go through the same thing that you're experiencing, some more than others. I can tell you that, for me, it has gotten better and you're just not quite as terrified as you get further out from treatment. And the first two or three, for me, were the worst because I hadn't processed it at all and was already trying to prepare for another wave of bad news to crash down on me before I'd even gotten up from the first one. Thank God it didn't happen, at least not yet. I'm 2.5 years out and, at this point, if I'm told that I have a recurrence or mets, I know that I will be able to handle it, as scary as it would be. So, what I'm saying is that the fear never completely disappears, but your strength for facing it increases over time. And, let's face it, nothing is ever as startling or horrifying as that first time we hear those words, "you have cancer."

    As for getting through the week, I've heard women here advise everything from keeping very busy to drinking and drugging. Whatever gets the panic down best for you...that's what you do. And the "reassurance" that, right now, at this moment, you either DO have more cancer or you DON'T....nothing you do, whether it's worrying or voodoo, is gonna change the fact. So try to enjoy your moments and when you need to think about it and worry, go for it.

    Good luck, hon, and keep us posted.....

    ~Marin

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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited February 2008

    Good  advice, Marin.  Good luck with your scans, Abby.  Remember the odds are in your favor that you're fine and if it turns out they find something, it can be handled.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Abby, I just wanted to say good luck.  Marin gave you good advice.  It will get easier.  Hang in there and come back with the GOOD NEWS!

    Hugs,

    Shirley

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  • tawyna1
    tawyna1 Member Posts: 273
    edited February 2008

    hi abby,

    my mom's first three month check made her scared.

    we were both worried sick.

    i wish i could help you not be scared.

    it seems like you are having so much anxiety.

    i am hoping all goes well dear. i believe it will.

    it has been almost 4 yrs for mom in may. it gets easier. we still get a little nervous but not naer as bad.  

    hugs to you 

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  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2008

    Hi Abby, I think we all felt/feel that same fear. All I can say is that it really does lessen in time. I had my last scan in July and yes, I was nervous! Once it's over though, you can relax until the next one. As 3 months turns into 6 and then 12, you will not be as anxious on these trips. I do think it'll always stay with us though... until there is a cure!

    Hang in there... waiting is the worst! xoxo
    Erica

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  • abbyglp
    abbyglp Member Posts: 417
    edited February 2008

    Thank you all for your advice, I just came back from the onc appointment, I guess I will have to worry a little bit longer, my tumor markers jumped up 20 points, I was staying in the upper 30's wich is normal, but now they went into the 50's and she suggested that I get them done again in a month and if they went up again she would want scans, I said no I want to no now, I might be jumping the gun, but there is no way I can wait around for a month, so she scheduled me for the 18th of this month and I find out the results on the 21st. She asked me if I have had any pain anywhere I told her my left side, I had my cancer on the right, so I thought mabe I just bumped my rib. I have always been clumsy, I have scoliosis so I have always been lopsided. well I just have to think positive that the upper 50's for my tumor markers are going to be my normal. and that my scans will come back clear. I knew something was up when she walked in to day, she usually comes in all bubbly and she did not this time. So I will stay busy for the next week and I will take drugs if I have to, I have some left over from when I needed them from chemo. Oh, why did this stuff have to crap on my door step!!!! I have done everything I was told to do and have changed my eating habits and watched everything I used, Organic, green, antioxidants, ect..... I have not seen my children or my family in 1 1/2, because I did not want them to see me go through this, I was expecting everything to go good and I was going to treat myself to a plane ticket to go up north and see everyone now that I look normal again. Money is scarce so I have been saving to do this. please pray with me that all will be fine and I will be able to take that trip next month to see my family.

    hugs abby

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Abby....I'm so sorry that you have to worry even longer, but I'll place bets that you'll be just fine. My oncologists never use tumor markers except for those women with advanced mets because they say that they can jump all over the place for too many odd reasons.

    Here's hoping that you'll stay distracted enough until your next results and can then, finally, MOVE ON!

    ~Marin

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  • abbyglp
    abbyglp Member Posts: 417
    edited February 2008

    Marin, Thank you, I will think positive. I am in Newport NC on the coast, is Morrisville NC near the mountains?

    abby

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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited February 2008

    Abby,

    Sorry you heard news you didn't want.  Tumor markers are weird and them going up or down doesn't always mean anything.  I hope yours are up for some reason other than mets.

    Get your plane ticket and plan on seeing the family.  Mets would not be a reason to stop living and doing what you want to do.  Hopefully, you will not have to worry about that anyway.

    Good luck,

    Kari

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