hospice care has begun

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mk24
mk24 Member Posts: 22
edited June 2014 in Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
hospice care has begun
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  • mk24
    mk24 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008

    Mom's hospice care started this past week.  We were diagnosed together over 4 years ago, were radiation buddies.  Mine was agressive, hers was not.  Two years ago it started spreading to her bones, 6 months ago, her lungs, now her liver.  She is now bedridden, very tired, little appetite.  Instead of looking forward, we talk of the past.  Her smile is still so beautiful.  When I see it, I think everyone is wrong and that she will get up again although I know it's not so.

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  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 2,298
    edited February 2008

    omg.....MK...you poor thing. I am so sorry. So sorry I can't imagine. Do you have siblings? A dad? I'm hoping you are not alone.

    How are you...........doing?

    Hugs, Traci

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  • Little-G
    Little-G Member Posts: 647
    edited February 2008

    mk24...

    :-( I am so sorry!!  I lost my dad to lung cancer.  Its so hard.  I left my dad in the hospital that night, he told me to go home, I finally said OK and I would see him in the morning.  He died before I got back.  Just keep letting her know how much you love her (although I'm sure she does know).  And say what you want to say to her.  I hope you have some support through this as well.  My thoughts are with you both.

    g

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    MK.....so sorry about your mom. Last jan I was beside my dads bed day and night. It is so hard to let them go. When he could no longer open his eyes, we talked to him and held his hand. Sometimes we sang to him his favourite songs or read his favourite passages. We cared for him as he cared for us when we were young. It was hard but it was also the most loving time I've experienced. Stay close to her MK and just love eachother while your time together lasts.

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  • mk24
    mk24 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008

    Thank you everyone.  My Dad passed on years ago. My sibling is out of state, but tries. We always told each other that we loved each other.  She is the most unselfish person I know, besides my Dad.  Thanks for all the encouragement, I will treasure every moment.

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  • LittleFlower
    LittleFlower Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2008

    ((((((((MK)))))))))))))

     how devestating.

    We are currently in a similar situation with my mother in law.  She has been battling this for the last 2 years as i was being treated for breast cancer as well.  When they recently stopped treatment secondary to it not working, hospice was called.  They have provided alot of comfort for her with pain meds and bed and little things that mean alot.  I know what you mean about the smile.. i just can't believe that she won't be with us much longer.  I have tears in my eyes as i type this....  it is scary in many ways.  On one level, it's the devestation of losing a loved one,  on another level, it's the devestation of breast cancer taking another sister.  It's extremely difficult for everyone in the family, but different i think for us because we are fighting the same illness everyday.

    Praying that God gives you strength sweetheart.

    Know you're not alone.... I truly believe there is a better life after this and she just happens to be going there first.

    Take care, LittleFLower

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited February 2008

    Take care, mk24.

    I'm thinking of you.

    My dad died in hospice (congestive heart failure) almost exactly 18 years ago -- can't for the life of me believe it was that long ago.  My 24-year-old son called me out of the blue in tears just last week saying "I miss Grandpa."

    I'm glad you can be there to see your mother's beautiful smile.

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  • mk24
    mk24 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008

    Thanks Littleflower.  I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this as well.  Your words are comforting though, I wish I could comfort Mom more.  Just last night the pain has increased and meds were increased as well.  I know she will be back with Dad, she misses him so much.

    Thanks AnnNYC, sorry for your loss.  It's wonderful that Grandpa made such an impact on your son's life.  I know our loved ones will never really be gone, they are always in our hearts and actions. It is just so hard.

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  • LittleFlower
    LittleFlower Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2008

    MK,

    My MIL passed yesterday.

    I just wanted to offer some comfort, if anything can make this better...it is such a difficult time.

    Her passing was very peaceful.  She fell asleep and basically didn't wake up again.  There was no pain, no suffering.  The few days before this, when she was conscious, she was very comfortable... "i feel great" were her words, and i think the pain meds worked really well. She had a wonderful little smile on her face in those days, even as she dosed off.  The only comfort in all this is the comfort that she felt - the absence of pain.  It's such a stressful time, as you know, and the right words are so hard to find sometimes... please don't be hard on yourself.. get as much help as possible so you don't feel too worn out......

    take care...

    LittleFlower

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  • lastminuteD
    lastminuteD Member Posts: 333
    edited February 2008

    Little Flower -  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I'm so sorry for loss.  It is so hard on family to lose someone.  I lost my mother-in-law to brain cancer 17 1/2 years ago and I can't believe it's been that long. 

    mk24 - my thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom & family.

    Dawn

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  • mk24
    mk24 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008

    Little Flower, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  She is at peace now, no more pain.  May memories of better days comfort you.

    Every day something just seems a little different here.  We have changed her pain meds again and this seems to work better.  My sister is here now so we are all together. 

    Dawn, thanks for your thoughts. The years go by so fast.

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  • danix5
    danix5 Member Posts: 755
    edited February 2008
    I feel for all of you with your individual losses!  I have experienced my fil and my best friend dying of cancer with hospice!  They are wonderful!  But nothing makes this sad time easier!  Know that I am thinking of you and the many years ahead as you adjust to not having people you love with you!  It is hard, hardest for those left behind.  Charis the good times and enjoy everyday!!Smile
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