Starting chemo Dec 2007

Hi All    Sorry to have been AWOL for awhile.  Taxotere just does me in for about 10 or 11 days.  My MIL came for the second week (she lives in Fl.) as dh had a business trip.  She is a wonderful cook and tried to cook anything I wanted but I just didn't have any appetite.  She spoiled me rotten and I really hated to see her go.

This is my good week but not really, because of the work I am doing.  About two years ago, some people who worked for us came into our offices after office hours, took their contracts  from the files along with other confidential information on our accounts, then formed their own company in direct competition with us, although they had all signed "non-competes".  We sued.  There are actually two different lawsuits.  The large one is still probably years away, because of expert witnesses, etc.  The smaller one is almost settled.  What will probably be the last mediation is set for Feb. 19, and that date was agreed on last Sept. before my dx.  The problem is that is about day 6 after my next tx and I know I will feel like s#&*.  The accountants will be there and it would be better if i could comprehend numbers.  I see onc tomorrow and will talk to him and see if I can move tx up to this Fri. (4 days early) or postpone until 20th (which I am afraid to do).  If that fails, maybe he can give me something to perk me up for 19th.  Everything about this disease is a pain in the butt.So, that is how I have spent my good week, going over notes, refreshing ourselves about figures, what fun.  Everytime we have to look at it, we get in a bad mood.

Other than that my life has been uneventful and that is the way we like it.  We live way out in the country, 45 min. to Wal Mart, on the Tenessee River.  Our house is on a dead end road, and when a car goes by everyone looks to see who it is.  We lived so many years in the dog eat dog business world that we treasure each day here.  We actually have a condo on the beach in Fl. and we have been once in the last year and a half.  I was thinking about the condo though.  I see other groups usually get together when tx is over and if all of you would like to do that, we could use our codo if you would like.  We like small towns and the condo is in one of ther only small unpopulated beach towns left on the ocean in Fl.  One red light, no fast food,  you can throw a rock from our patio and hit the Atlantic Ocean (Flagler Beach, Fl.)  Think about it, it would be a blast.  i probably won't post again for a few days, legal stuff calls and I HATE it.  I read every day and think of you all everyday and am proud to be associated with such a brave and determined group of warrior ladies.            God Bless     Joy

Hi All,

Just checking in after taxol #1. First of all I had no adverse reactions during infusion. It took about an hour for Benadryl and the steroids to be put in the about 3 hours for the taxol. I brought along my laptop as I was alone today and tried to watch a movie on it. I dosed off and on through the whole movie, then started waking up after it was done. (thats what happens when I watch movies at home too)

Spent the rest of the time talking to my chemo room mates (I love talking to people) topic of the day was travel, past and present. After that I drove myself home.... I don't think that was a real good idea as I was still pretty spacey from the benadryl. I'll have a driver next time.

Once I got home I collapsed onto my lazy-boy chair and went straight to sleep for a few hours. Today was payday for the guys, DH had to do a quick approximate calculation and let them know I would fine tune the deductions later. I finally woke up at about 7pm and thought it was morning, talk about chemo brain. Anyway I feel good right now, but have no recollection if I'm supposed to take any other pills this week. I'll call them in the morning. Overall day 1 is good so far, I am raising my glass of ginger-ale.

Sal, your big day is tomorrow {{{big hug}}} hope you just breeze through it.

Kate, I hope your feeling better after that throat viral infection. We also don't have Kate's dates for tx on our list at the top of the page .

Lori, hope your feeling better. No need to suffer through bone and/or muscle pain. I think we are all fed up with drugs and pills but its only for a little while longer.

Hope everyone has a nice evening. DH has made dinner so I'm gonna grab a quick bite and maybe try to watch that silly movie again.

Big Hugs to all. I feel so thankful that I have all your thoughts and prayers.

Much Love, Suz

Hi all!  I'm feeling better each day so it looks like days 3-4 after tx will be the worst...but still better than the AC!

Suz, glad to hear you are good so far!  Hope that continues for you!

Kate, congrats on your upcoming last AC!  It feels good to have it done, doesn't it!  I hope Taxol is easier for you!  I would take it over AC any day!

Sally, I hope you are finding the Taxol easy today and no reactions!  Let us know how it goes!

What a little group we've become.....all of us worried about Laura and afraid to voice our concerns!  I do hope she is fine and hope we hear from her soon!

Joy, I love the idea of a get-together when we are done!  It sounds like a nice spot you have in Florida and at home!  When my grandma was alive and still lived in Kentucky (Pathfork..very small) it was the same way....when a strange car came into the holler everyone was looking to see who it was.  There are alot of girls in our family (cousin's) and when we were younger and traveling with our parents the local boys would be at my grandma's before we had unloaded the suitcases!  Those days were so much fun!!  Sure makes me miss my grandma!  What do you all think about Joy's offer?

I clarified some things regarding my insurance also and am feeling much better about the bills that are rolling in.  I have reached my deductible AND out of pocket limit on the coinsurance which only needed to be met at the individual limit and NOT the family limit!  Yahoo!  From now on any EOB's I get will say "Patient responsibility = $0.00!!  Our year runs from June 1st - May 30th so surgery and most of radiation will fall under the current benefit year at no (additional) cost to me!!  Yahoo!  As I posted a while back, the bills were a concern to me...Not anymore!!

Hope you are all doing well!  Lori

Wishiwere- Yes, they started giving me the steroids when I was so sick.  It helps the nausea and gives you a good energy boost.  It's a lot better with it.  Last time I didn't throw up or anything.  This time I'm feeling pretty good, too.  Friday and Saturday will be my worst days if it goes like last time, but it's not to horrible.  Good luck for you tomorrow, too!  I hope it goes well.  I'm both anxious and nervous to start the taxol as I've heard about the bad reaction thing.  It would be just my luck.

Lori- I am so glad it's over.  My cousin died yesterday morning of cancer (he's close to my age with kids around the same age as mine) so I woke up about 4 this morning and just prayed for his family.  So, it was a happy-sad day for me. 

Suz- glad to hear I'm not the only one with the nose problem.  I still have my eyebrows and lashes, but no hair.  Looks pretty funny...hehe.  Not sure about the nose hairs though.  They may be gone.  Must be.

Suz- MY taxol dates are Feb 20, March 5, 19 and April 2  I'm 37 years old and I have stage 3 cancer.  The only other thing I know is I am her2 negative, whatever that means.  I know nothing about anything else really.  My doc only tells me what I ask and he really doesn't want me to concentrate on stats and figures.  He thinks I'll live to be older than him...hehe. 

Kate

Well ladies, I apologize for being AWOL.  I got back on the 28^th and have just been so busy with work and life that I have stayed away from posting.

I had a fabulous trip - of course it was too short, but it was wonderful to see hubby and we were also able to attend the wedding of my friend's daughter that took place there.  I was able to rest quite well while there, although I find that the fatigue seems to be cumulative and I got tired out very easily.  I came back uneventfully but did get a bit of a sinus/headcold which took about a week to get rid of.  Had fourth tx this Monday and it feels so good to be over the hump.  SE's becoming somewhat routine:  queasiness the first few days, yucky taste, weird appetite, leathery mouth.  I find my mouth gets very dry and sometimes it seems to make no difference how much I drink.  One key thing is that my chemo arm is sore.  I don't have a port and I think the chemo is "cooking" my veins, so the arm hurts and feels bruised even though no bruise can be seen, and this seems to increase a bit more with each tx.  My white blood cell counts have been low and my onc has prescribed CIPRO, which I don't understand so will have to phone and ask about that.  They surprised me with that one when I went for chemo, not during the consult the day before, so I didn't really get an explanation of why.  I suspect it is intended to aid in supporting white blood cell count but I hadn't heard of that before.

Since I've been back I've been working a lot as the project I'm on is pushing ahead towards its deadline and some things need to be tended to, so I have been very busy.  Fortunately I can work lying around in bed, which is what I often do.

It is so encouraging to hear all the positive stories about shrinking/disappearing lumps, nodes, etc.  Sal, I am thrilled to hear that your lump turned out not to be anything to be concerned about.  Oh yes, I forgot - I went for mammo/ultrasound the day after I returned for the lump I'd found and they said everything looks normal, just lumpy breast tissue, so I am relieved also.  They looked over the whole breast carefully and didn't see anything to be concerned about.  Sal, the photo of your ladies at the library and the chicken is hilarious - there is nothing like humour to get us through the slogging of cancer treatment.  Wishiwere - what a beautiful gesture by your little sis and her sons!  Suz - ok who is that hot chick perched on the snowplow?  The wig looks great!

Amy, I can definitely relate to the depression thing.  We need something to look forward to, so I hope you will definitely plan for a weekend getaway or something special to reward yourself.  I don't know how I could have continued without getting away to see hubby.  I decided that even if it was risky, it was worth the risk, because I need to live as a person first, then as a cancer patient.  I can't allow myself and my life to be defined by cancer.  This has changed my perspective on a lot of things relative to this battle.  We must not forget to LIVE.  Because although we are all thinking positively and doing everything we can to kill the beast, unfortunately it will get some of us and I certainly don't want to ever look back and wish I had taken a trip or spent a weekend or danced, or whatever.  I am going to do those things (within reason) because my life is NOW and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Periods - mine were pretty much gone before cancer, so no change there.  Hair - the remaining stubble continues to grow as some of you have reported.  I razored it before I went to Cuba and it is about 4 mm long again, time to razor it again. It just looks pathetic and speckledy.  Eyebrows and lashes have thinned considerably and so I am sporting false eyelashes.  Generally, I feel fairly fortunate when it comes to the SE's and am mostly functional except for the first few days and the fatigue.  But I was beyond crazy before, getting up at 5 and not to bed until midnight.  That made no sense then, even less now, so it isn't hard to lose that habit.

It is wonderful to be back chatting with you ladies - congratulations to all of us who are over the hump, who have transitioned to the second phase of treatment.  We are getting that much closer to getting our lives back.  Joy, I am so sorry you are having to go through this legal slog while juggling your tx and SE's - that is really a tough challenge.  Hang in there, and I hope the mediation will be speedy.  Thank you for your gracious suggestion of Florida - that sounds beautiful - we should definitely consider that.

A big hug to you all, and I will not go AWOL for so long .  Sorry!

Oooh my stomach is queasy/hungry right now....I feel a deep dish pizza order coming on for dinner, lol....

It's good to be back.

Laura

Laura, so glad you are back, safe and sound, if not a little weary.  Sounds like you enjoyed the much needed time away and that's what counts! 

Sal, ladies, I lied today!  I am so messed up with days and nights and trying to keep them all straight lately.  I have my last A/C on Friday, the 8th.  We were hoping dh could make it home for one tx, but alas, dosen't look that way.  He's making his way through a foot of snow and it's doubtful he'll be back before I leave.   Oh well.....still will be great to be done with the red devil!

Sleep well dear friends.

{{hugs}}

Lori, so glad you doing good and sounding almost chipper this morning!  Sounds like you ARE dealing much better with this new chemo tx!  Great to hear!

Depending on where in the county you are, we got anywhere from 9-14 inches.  I'd say, about 12 here!  The blue angel that's been plowing me out after each storm came through twice yesterday and then again about 5:30 this morning!  What a sweetie!  I've only got a bit of one armed shoveling to do this morning before I can get out!  The drifts are enormous!  One out back is 4 feet I swear!  Poor little bunnies have tunneled through rather than over it's so soft and light!  The winds were nasty last night, blowing it into big drifts across roads, so even CMU is closed till noon!  I'm in no hurry to get out in it, that's for certain!

Laura is back ! Hooray ! So how was Cuba? Did you get to see much of the island. I really want to get there one day, but my dh will not even think about travelling there until Fidel has passed/new regime takes over.

I also took the Cipro, day 6 after each treatment. This is an antibiotic routinely taken prophylactically by chemo patients to  prevent an infection that you may/may not be exposed to in a typical day.

Sal, love the snoopy balloon, and the great news that so far your Taxol treatment has been doable. Crossing my fingers and toes for you, and the rest of our gang ! 

A, Sal is so right on.........you are a super hero, no doubt ! You must be one strong lady with those weekly treatments. I am saluting you A !

Menstruation update; AWOL since treatment one. Onc says may come back now that chemo is over, but no way to tell. Don't start tamoxifen til rads are over, sometime in April, so I may get it now, then lose it again. Whatever....., just as long as I don't have anymore chemo. Hair... got some gray,white,brown,black fuzz, maybe a quarter inch.My scalp has been breaking out alot too. Real attractive!

No snow here in NJ, just lots of rain, and mild temps. Can't believe how much snow you ladies in the North Country are getting. OMG!

Wishiwere, you too are one tough cookie doing this without your dh. I pray that he will be by your side soon. All you ladies are amazing, and are so inspiring with your strength. So what if we have our down days, they are going to happen, that is why we have eachother to lean on and vent !

xoxox Cindy

Morning all!

Amy, First of all...{{Big Hug}}!!  It is totally normal to have those self pity days!  Wallow in it for a bit and it will pass and things will be better!  We are going thru alot and I know exactly what you mean about being grateful for family and it being nice to be on the receiving end of some acknowledgement that what we are doing is not easy!  I think our families & friends know it's hard but really have no idea unless they were in our shoes....which is why you are all so important to me!!  I have not been to any support groups because you guys have always been here with kind words and support when I needed it.....while whining about bills, SE's, etc.  So, thanks everyone!  Amy, talk to your Dr. about the lack of sleep...that was a problem for me when on the AC and taking the steroids...you know, you feel bad as it is and then the lack of sleep makes it worse! 

WishIwere....CONGRATS!  Big day for you!!  So happy for you and can't wait to be where you are...on my last day of chemo!  You help us to see that we WILL reach the end...we just need to keep plugging along and we will get there before we know it....Well, maybe not before we know it...I think we all know exactly when our last chemo date is...Point is, it will get here!  Hope it goes extra easy for you..keep telling yourself "This is it!  All done!" and maybe your endorphins will keep away some SE's!  You rock!!

Sal, Hope you are still doing well and that the body aches stay at a minimum this weekend.  Keep us posted!  I am feeling pretty darn good and (my new mantra) I'll take Taxol over AC anyday!!

Laura, Kate, KMK, Joy, Cindy, Suz and anyone else I may have missed...I hope you are all having good days and enjoy the weekend!!

Whoa-- did someone hit me with a truck? I knew the aches and pains would hit, but I thought I had another day to enjoy first. Wham!!! Energy totally drained, aches and pains all over every inch of my body although not unbearable (if that makes any sense at all). Fingers go between tingly and achey. And a sore throat that started last night that feels like strep throat but oddly enough I'm still famished and eating like a pig in spite of the soreness. Today will definitely not rank as one of my highlight days. But still better than AC. Is my brain fried, because this makes no sense at all... this is all still better than AC.

Hubby picking up dinner. Can't wait for him to get here. I'm starved. What a weird mix of sensations. Gotta go lie back down before I fall down.

-Sal 

Sal,I know what you mean. Wow, I woke up this morning totally exhausted for no reason. Molly maid was here at 8 am and I just told them to clean whatever they could and went to lay back down. All Ive done today is sleep, eat and try to deal with constant hot flashes. Nothing at all like a/c, I don't feel really bad or anything, just ridiculously tired.

No wonder my onc warned me about weight gain during taxol. She gave me strict orders to at least keep up with my walking the dog 2 miles a day. I thought she was kidding.

Cindy, the look good feel better class was awesome, am I ever glad it was yesterday as I don't think I would have made it today. I was really surprised at the quality and quantity of products. I don't think there was a thing there that I wouldn't use. Had a lot of fun sharing stories with all the other gals there as well. I think I was farthest along treatment wise, most were on tx #1 or #2.

Hope everyone is well, time to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea.

Love and hugs

Suz

Morning all!

Sal, too funny.."did someone hit me with a truck" is almost exactly how I described it too my boss..."I feel like I've been in a car accident" was my thought!  I know exactly what you mean...sore all over but still find it better than the AC.  The worst of it lasted 2 days then started getting better..I hope that's how it works for you.  I really did not have the foggy brain feeling like I felt on the AC...I hope that clears up for you as well!

Suz, ditto to the above.  What I am finding a bit odd is that you and Sal have better appetite's than with the AC.  I find my stomach still tending to be a bit flip floppy and definately not eating as much as when on the AC but I think the steroids had something to do with it too!  I was sorta like Amy, picking at something all the time to settle the tummy, now I gotta think about what I want that sounds good but I'm not nauseous at all.  Weird! 

Amy, I wish mine was only 9 pounds...I know it was 12 and I think it went as high as 15.  It's been a week and a day since Taxol #1 and I'm down 2 pounds without trying.  Now if I would just start back on the treadmill I could maybe lose a bit more!  Doing chemo every 2 weeks will get me done in 4 months as opposed to 6 so I'm just riding it out and will really get back on track after March 14th (my last chemo).  I don't want to have to buy all new summer clothes and other clothes for Vegas.  I'll have a little over 3 months between last chemo and Vegas so I'll really work at it during that time!

My DD has her big "Snowcoming" high school dance tonight.  I've got a french mani to do on her fingernails, toes to paint a teal color (to match her teal dress and silver shoes), buttonierre (sp?, I know) to pick up and house to clean since her boyfriends mom is coming over for pictures. 

She has 2 boys, 17 and 19.  The 19 year old has never had a girlfriend, let alone went to a dance (and graduated last year) and my DD has been "dating" the 17 year old since October 2006 (when the dates consisted of him coming to our house for dinner and a movie, LOL) but this is their first dance!  My DD had to assure him he would live thru it...he's all about dirtbikes and 4-wheelers and quite nervous about the dance.  It's so cute!!  She was trying to teach him to slow dance last night...it was sooo funny!  Needless to say, his mom is very excited about the whole thing! 

Thank goodness I'm feeling great this morning....we'll see how I feel this evening after all that though!  DH and I thought we would try to go to dinner while DD was out so hopefully all plans remain intact!

Sal & Suz, rest as needed and I hope your aches pass soon!  All the rest of you, take care!  Lori

Oh Lori, you are giving me hope... saying that the worst of it only lasted about 2 days then started to clear. My biggest worry when the fatigue hit yesterday was "Since I used to get fatigue Monday through Wednesday, does this mean I'm out for the count for 6 days now--- Friday through Wednesday?? I can't handle that!" I sure hope I follow your example and only have the usual 2 or 3 days of crappiness.

I'm a teeny, tiny bit better today, but not gonna go anywhere. Couch potato. I must have flushed out every once of fluid I had in my body last night, between getting up every hour to go to the bathroom and sweating. I tried to tell myself that's a good thing because the chemo is getting out of my system. But I wouldn't exactly say I got a good night's sleep.

I think I'm the only one on the forum who's lost weight since starting chemo, so I'm looking forward to possibly gaining weight. I was about 135 before surgery and now I float around 120-114... depending on where in the chemo cycle I am... I weigh more chemo day than on "low wbc count" day. I hate the way my clothes hang on me, and tired of people telling me how thin I look. Bring on the fat! Plus the nurse told me my taste buds will change and things will start to taste metallic, so I figure I'll get in the food while I can.

Congrats wishiwere! So you're all done with chemo too? Wow! I can't wait to see our roster of "chemo completers" grow and grow.

Ooof. Twinge of pain. Gonna go lie back down now. Hugs ladies.

-Sal