continued Tissue expander pain!!

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  • denise1956
    denise1956 Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2008

    Teri,

    Just like Jean said a friend a neighbor you will need some help at least for the first two days. No lifting is allowed. If I could I would be there for you in a heart beat. Do not cancel this surgery. You have waiting too long for this day to be here. The surgery is short its just the recovery for the anesthesia that took 3 hours to wear off on me. Remember people react differently. I wish you all the luck in the world. As I do for everyone else on this site.

    Enjoy the day!!!

    Denise

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  • Teribear
    Teribear Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2008

    Thanks for your support.  I don't know what I would do without the kind words and support from you ladies.  From the way it looks right now, my oldest son Tyler is going to take me to the surgery and my dad is watching the girls.  I don't know my neighbors well enough to ask anything from any of them.  They all keep to themselves and a few moved in as I got sick so I didn't even get a chance to meet them.  My son's ex girlfriend did offer to help me with the girls and to come by and help me clean and I offered to pay her something since she is not working now.  I hope that works out, she is a great girl.

    I finally had a chance to tell hubby about himself after he claimed to have been nothing but support for me through out this whole thing!?  I was stunned and asked him if that is what he really thought???  He said absolutely so I proceeded to tell him the truth as I see it.  He packed a bag and left me to take care of the kids, the house, the bill collectors, the daily pain, loneliness, fear and on and on.  His reaction was to get angry and say he was quitting this job he has in nm and come home immediately.  I told him no way.  The hard part is about over!!!  We took vows for better or worse and he bailed on me as he always has.  Nothing will change but I sure feel a whole lot better getting that off my chest.  I really do!  I did it friends.  I have made it this far through this dreaded thing with very little help at all.  ME.  At times I didn't think I could, but really, what is the alternative?  I am having a moment of pride in myself that not only did I take care of me and the kids and this reconstructive hell, I managed to get a promotion on top of it! 

    It doesn't look as if DH will be home so I went ahead and made alternative arrangments.  I will get through this too cuz I ain't cancelling at this point!  I have an insane work schedule due to Valentines day, but working at home I think I can pull it off.  60 hrs the week after surgery.  But I took it light for a week, 3 days completely off, then 4 hrs a day til the big week.  Sorry to ramble.  Not sure where this new determination came from???  OH and also helping out the ex husband with a small job he had available at his business, he was behind so I pitched in for just this weekend. 

    Tomorrow is my last fill, on the leaker.  It is considerably smaller than the "good" one but PS said he would trim the scar tissue to get the right size implant in.  I am not sure how that will look in the end, or if I will be able to tell at all but that side already looks sort of .....I don't even know how to describe it other than harsh....with sharp lines and no slope to it.  Like it was gouged out.  So I worry if he takes any more tissue of any kind out it will look worse.

    The only pain I really have right now is my upper back aches constantly. 

    Jean, my girls are 3 and 5.  I think we will be okay.  They aren't opposed to climbing in bed with me and snacks for early bedtimes and having a slumber party.  LOL  I developed slumber parties for those nights that I was in so much pain all I wanted to do was take pain meds and go to bed....and they stuck and we do them often now.  so.....slumber parties for a few days will only be treats for the girls!!! 

    Denise it doesn't sound like the recovery will be too long!  I can do this.  I am going to give it one hell of a go! 

    Sorry for the rambling.  I hope all is well with everyone.  Just a few days to go!!

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  • cheryl66
    cheryl66 Member Posts: 184
    edited February 2008

    Teri,

    I have never posted a comment to you before, but I have read about the crap your husband has put you through.  You are a strong woman to have gotten this far without his support.  So glad you will have your exchange surgery in a few days !!!  Keep your head up and keep thinking positive thoughts.  

    Cheryl 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Teri 

    Good luck with your exchange. I told you - someone would be there for you, who knew it would be your dad, older son, and even his "EX" girlfriend. God is watching over you!

    Please let us know how you are doing ASAP. (And dump that jerk...you don't need him...you're a strong woman)

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  • Sociologist
    Sociologist Member Posts: 237
    edited February 2008

    Hey Teri,

    Glad you stood up for yourself with "DH"! Not only are you getting new boobs but gained testicles as well! Good for you!!! "T" day (titty day) is almost here for you and I know things are going to get better for you. Sending you lots of good thoughts; Wednesday will be here before you know it! Take care.

    Margaret

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  • Teribear
    Teribear Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2008

    Margaret!  I just spit my coffee reading your post!  ROFL!  I did gain testicles didn't I??  It is getting close!  I am nervous and excited.  See ps today and have my preadmission testing.  Jean, yes, I am stunned at how my boys suddenly are by my side helping.  My oldest sent me a text last night that had me sobbing.   He said something like, Mommy, ( although 18 and a tough guy, he still calls me that!) we are going to get you through this, don't you worry. I will help you with what ever you need and when it is all done, I want to see you go back to college!  This is going to be fine.  I can feel it.  Thanks for your support!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Teri

    That's great....I knew God would see you through. Your son is right, go back to college. You can always get a student loan and work part-time.

    I went back to school when my "baby" started college. He walked me to everyone of my classes the first day, as his classes didn't start for a couple days. He then SAT outside to make sure I didn't leave. In my first class, the professor came over to my desk and said, my son was outside to walk me to my next class. I wonder how she knew he was my son. She then said...look around the classroom honey. I was the only white student in class. (My son is very blond, blue eyed, guess she just made an assumption...LOL 

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  • denise1956
    denise1956 Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2008

    Teri, 

    Just remember your children are an extension of who you are . Thats why they are there for u and so caring... Keep up the good work!!! I wish you the best of luck on wed . Will be praying for you. It will all been fine.  I actually slept the best I have in 5 months the night before the exchange (go figure that one out).I went back to work for the first day today in 5 months. It was so nice balloons and banners and even a free lunch!! What a great crew. I am tired but could not wait to get back on the site to catch up....

    Denise

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  • Teribear
    Teribear Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2008

    You all are so wonderful, every single one of you.  I hope I have given half the support I have gotten from here.  I just got back from the dr and so far my leaker is still holding!  LOL  He put another 100cc's in there to keep her expanded as long as it holds, anyway.  Got my blood work and did preadmision stuff....so this is happening!  yay!  My boys watched the girls while I saw the dr and my oldest is coming over wednesday morning and going back to sleep with the girls and then he will spend the night with me.  The ps said I would probably feel more comfortable after surgery than before.  After what I have read from you all, I am hoping it is true for me too!  I was walking by the window on the way out of the hospital and caught my reflection and could not believe how BIG my girls are right now!  I had to laugh!!!  I would say I am a double D right now!  hahaha!  Cheers to the OVER FILL!  LOL 

    Jean, that is so sweet about your son walking you to classes!  How old is he?  Those are moments that just make your heart swell.  

    Thanks for the encouragement Cheryl.  How are things for you?

    Off to get some house work done and go to bed early.  I am too nervous to sleep and can't remember if I can still take my medications tonight or not?  Yikes. 

    Talk to you all soon, love, Teri

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Teri



    Daniel was about 18 or 19 as he was already attending college. Good luck with your exchange.

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  • closet-reader
    closet-reader Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008

    Dear Friends,

    I call you such because for 5 months now I have read and re-read your posts.  Unknowing to you, your words of support, and the care you have expressed to one another has been like a lifeline to me. 

    Many times, I have wanted to write, to ask a question and/or to seek your advice; however, I have stopped myself.  I have banned myself because of a sense of shame.

    You see I am like you in that I have had a bilateral mastectomy and tissue expanders, but I am unlike you, as I have not had to face the anguish of a cancer diagnosis. 

    In my case the mastectomy was prophylactic in nature.  My left breast had a very small tumor (benign biopsy) that required MRI monitoring every 6 months.  My gynecologist and Internist believed that in combination with my family history (two sisters, both with pre-menopausal breast cancer) a preventative measure was in order.  I agreed after carefully reviewing two statistical risks probability reports.

    Getting back to my "shame"... 

    I've been living with a voice in my head that berates me for complaining about the seemingly insurmountable amounts of pain I have experienced.  This "censor" rants something like...  "How dare you whine!"  "You averted breast cancer, while these other women had no choice in the matter!"  "Live with misery and stop whimpering!"

          Good Lord, I need a therapist!

    Joking aside, I admire you all so much.  I could not let another day go by without thanking each of you.  You are noble and compassionate women.  Just imagine, for each one of you who writes and shares your experiences, there are unknown multiples of women, who like myself, read your words and benefit in ways you'll never know. 

    In thanks and appreciation,

    Linda

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  • jade56068
    jade56068 Member Posts: 584
    edited February 2008

    Teri

    SO glad to hear you are almost done????  I wish you a beautiful, painless out come.

    I have been using bio oil on my scars and I have to tell you that I love it.  I got it at Wal greens for $10.  I am now using it on my legs and face:<}....why not:<}.

    I will be thinking about you, good luck

    j

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  • Jani
    Jani Member Posts: 80
    edited February 2008
    Hey Linda, I hear you!
    Like you my family risk was very high, I had difficult fibrous breasts with the continual stress and fear caused by lumps and biopsies. In my mind it was not a matter of if it was a matter of when. With the last 3 lumps this last September it was recommended to me to have the bilat prophylactic mast. Since then I have had exactly the same conversation in my head so many times. Like I am almost guilty or that I have somehow cheated and don’t deserve to complain about the discomfort of this expansion business. But then I reason that my “sisters” that lost the battle to bc would be proud of me for electing the prophylactic route (I know that my actual sister that has been through the whole thing is) and I truly feel that I have won one against breast cancer for them. I have actually had long private crying sessions thinking about all those women and their families who had to endure and lost their lives to bc. I am so thankful for modern scientific and biomedical advancement that allows me to have this choice. That allows me to live my life free from this monster.

    I have such a huge appreciation for the women on this forum who are enduring chemo and rad treatment, and the mental anguish of having the experience of bc in addition to the reconstruction difficulties, and from what I can tell, doing it with such finesse. I know that my experience has been so much easier. My hat is off to each and every one of you. You are amazing.


    Teri:
    Good luck with your exchange surgery. Be brave. It will all be behind you soon. Let us know how things go when you feel up to it. I will be thinking about you.

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2008

    Linda and Jani, I was like you, I had 2 previous dx of ADH (pre-cancer) and after my second dx in 2006, my surgeon suggested the preventive mast. I was going to let him know at my next 6 month appointment in April that I was leaning toward that procedure pretty heavy, when I had another abnormal mammo. I went into his office the next week telling him 'I want these ticking time boobs off!' He said that because there was another problem, he had to do the biopsy first. Unfortunately my biopsy showed DICS low grade on one side, so I joined the club. It was found early and because of the bilat mast, I did not need chemo or rads. I too have an appreciation for those who are undergoing chemo and rads. My mom went through it in 2001-2002 and is doing well.

    Good luck to all who are going through the expansion process. I am near the end of my reconstruction process.

    Sheila

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  • denise1956
    denise1956 Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2008

    Teri,

    Good luck tom. I will be thinking of you!!!Laughing

    Sweet dreams tonight!!

    Denise

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  • Teribear
    Teribear Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2008

    Hi Everyone.

    Nervous as can be.  Thank you all for your well wishes.  I will be in touch as soon as I can.  Talk to you soon, Teri.

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  • Sharon67
    Sharon67 Member Posts: 154
    edited February 2008

    Terri,

    Good Luck tomorrow, you're in my prayers. Don't worry, everything will work out great! My exchange is Friday, so I know how nervous you areSurprised!

    Talk to you soon

    Sharon

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  • Sociologist
    Sociologist Member Posts: 237
    edited February 2008

    Hey Teri: Just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts today!

    Sharon: Friday's just a couple of days away!!! You can't imagine the relief from the expanders. Both of you please post when you feel up to it.

    Linda: WELCOME! It doesn't matter your reasons why you had the mast, it's still a traumatic experience. You're in a good place for care and support. I couldn't have made it through the last 7 months without the amazing women on this site.  Read on!!!

    Getting the 3 grandkids today; school's still out for Mardi Gras (Chuck E. Cheese here we come!). Yall have a great day!

    Margaret

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Linda:

    Good for you getting rid of the possiblity of BC before it got to you. My mom and paternal grandmother (bc both sides of the family) died from BC.It was recommended that I have gene testing.

    About a year ago I had the testing done. My onc, explained what choices I would have if it came back positive. I never got the results, although I contacted the office a couple times. No news - good news, right?   Well about 6 months later, I discovered a lump which appeared out of no where in only two days. Turned out to be BC.

    Weeks into my treatment, after my Lumpectomy and chemo prior to and post mast, and of course the mast, the lab notified him that I had a very rare form of the BRCA gene, found in only 13 families, world wide. Had this been discovered 6 months before, I would not gone thru the Hell I have lived thru, 4 surgeries in 8 months and two more to go. (not including the one to I must now under go to repair my elbow, injured during one of those surgeries). I would have just had the mast to began with and if any BC was found, I would have only need to go thru chemo once.

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  • Sharon67
    Sharon67 Member Posts: 154
    edited February 2008

    Hi Ladies,

    Well tomorrow is the big day, and I'm going crazy!!!! I know this surgery is suppose to be better than the first, but still, I'm scared!!!

    I'm just trying to stay busy all day. The surgery is tomorrow at 12:30 so if any one remembers, say a little prayer for me. You all have been so kind. Till later....

    Sharon

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2008

    Sharon, the exchange was a piece of cake for me compared to the bilat mast. I had my surgery on Friday and was back at work on Monday. I did not do a lot on Saturday, I let my hubby drive all weekend. He is a truck driver and I usually drive him around when he is home.

    Sheila

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  • Teribear
    Teribear Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2008

    just a quick hi to everyone and let you know surgery went well.  had a couple minor complications since that expander had shifted under my arm...repair work I am assuming since I haven't spoken to the ps yet.  felt great immediately after, probably from the drugs, but today I feel pretty rough.  Haven't  had much rest so that might be some of it.  I haven't even peeked at the results yet.  I want to but am afraid.  LOL  Well, just wanted to let everyone know I am okay.  And Good luck to Sharon tomorrow!!!  It was not as bad as I had feared!!!

    bye for now, off to rest after roto rooter leaves!  all the rain has stopped up my whole sewere system!  (that's why i haven't rested!) my boys have been angels!  I couldn't have done this without them!

    talk to you soon,  sharon you're in my prayers!  good luck!  Teri

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  • denise1956
    denise1956 Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2008

    Sharon

    I will be saying a prayer for you!! You will do GREAT and more than that you will feel so much better!!!

    Denise

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  • denise1956
    denise1956 Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2008

    Teri

    WOW!! That was fast. It took me two days to get back to all of you!!! Great to hear from you!! Now its just a few more days and you will be back to normal. When do you go back to the ps.  Oh, what size did you wind up with??I still have to wear this ugly sports bra and ace bandage over that. Its been 3 weeks for me. I go on Monday to hopefully have the stitches removed.

    Talk to you soon.

    Denise

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  • Teribear
    Teribear Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2008

    I know I am up soon, I can't ever stay down with the girls and the plumbing problems, I had to be up.

    I don't have any stitches, I was super glued.  lol  I am very sore and shaky right now.  I hurt from my collar bone down to under my ribs. Time for meds.  I don't know what size I am. he put in 450cc silicone gel implants.  they just look smaller to me than I expected.  And that is with the bra and bandages.  I haven't peeked yet.  Going to shower right now.  I have a sports bra but no ace bandage.  I hurt mostly under my arms.  I know he had to do work there since my expanders had migrated there.  I think they are still far apart though.  We'll see after shower.  lol  how are you feeling 3 weeks later Denise?  What did you mean about them fluffing out?  I see ps for follow up on the 15th but have to change it to the following Monday, so that will be the 18th.  I am assuming I have to wear this velcro straight jacket until then at least??  He didn't say.  Off to shower and check out the new girls.  Good luck tmorrow Sharon! I will be thinking about you!!!  Let us know how you are as soon as you are able.  Teri.

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  • Sharon67
    Sharon67 Member Posts: 154
    edited February 2008

    Hi Ladies,

    Well it's 4 am and couldn't sleep...nerves..they get the best of you at the worst times. But at least the horses are feed!!! They all looked at me like "what the heck is she doing out sooo early". Thanks for all the kinds words of encourgement, I do appreciate them. Terri, I'm glad you're back home and your boys are around to help you. My son is coming back with us from Dearborn (he lives with his dad) he's on winter break all next week, so he'll be up north with us. I'm very excited about that. The snow is still snow. We got socked with 9 inches yesterday. Looks like I'll be taking the pick-up truck down to the hospital today. DH is just as nervous as I am. But on a great positive note: 48 days sober!!!!! He's been a wonderful husband, very supportive and kind.

    Well I might as well take a shower early....

    Till we talk again.

    Sharon

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  • Sociologist
    Sociologist Member Posts: 237
    edited February 2008

    Hey Sharon: You're in my thoughts today. The surgery will be a breeze and you'll be so relieved from the expanders! Best, best, best of luck.

    Teri: Glad you're feeling better! How's the pain? I was soooo happy to take the first shower to get a look at the new one. It's fuller than the original boob but under clothes, noone knows that. I'm so happy all went well and you're on the downside of all this! Post again when you can and good luck with the sewer stuff!

    Margaret

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  • Jani
    Jani Member Posts: 80
    edited February 2008

    Hah, must be something in the air. I am up at 4:00 am as well. Very nervous about the surgery coming up on Tuesday. There is a flu going around that I am so afraid of getting sick before Tuesday. NOTHING is going to stop me from getting my exchange! I would be devestated if I could not have it because I have the flu. Been visiting my home for the last week visiting my horses and dogs. They miss me so much. I so hate to leave again. If it was not for the good experience for the kids and hubby I would not spend a year abroad. Today I am off to see my mom. She has Alzheimer's and is in the hospital with a broken hip. Then on to SD on Sunday in anticipation of the big day (Tuesday 6:00 am) and then back to Norway to recuperate.

    Sharon, good luck today. I am sure everything will go just fine. There is a winter warning out for us today. I will head tot he airport (2 hr drive) early so hopefully my stepdaughter will get home before it hits.

    Hey Teri! So good to hear from you. Sounds like all went well. I am so happy for you. We have to expect some bruising and soreness for a few days anyway. 450 cc sounds like a good size. I hope you are pleased and can wear them proudly! Take it easy. Treat yourself really nicely.

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  • jaz5106
    jaz5106 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008

    Hi, I'm new the the journey but I've been reading your posts and keeping up with your progress.  It's so good to know that there are others out there that have already done what you are starting and you too can get through this.  It seems like you have a great little support group here just in this thread.  Its comforting to know that you have each other.

    Teri, so glad you are nearing the finish line.  It does sound like everything went well and I too am so happy for you.  Definately take it easy, you deserve it.

    Sharon and Jani, I wish you all the best on your upcoming exchanges.  I will be checking in to see you progress as well.  I can't wait until I get there.

    I do have a couple of questions for you since most of you have finished or are getting close to the end.  I just had my bi-lat and recon on 1/16/08 and my first fill on Wednesday.  3 weeks out and I'm starting to feel a lot better now.  I still feel really tight and sore.  I know that I will feel the tightness throughout this process until the exchange, but will I always feel sore?  As in sore, I mean muscle sore like the day after you work out and your muscles are tight and achy.  I also wanted to know about sleeping.  Will I ever get to sleep on my side throughout this process?  The only position I can sleep comfortable is on my back and propped up with 3 king-size pillows.  I also don't get very good sleep.  Only 1-3 hour stretches at a time.  I did just get a prescription for Lunesta and got almost 4 hours straight until my husbands alarm clock went off.  I often take naps in the afternoon because I get so tired.  Lastly, how long did it take you from recon surgery to exchange?  I'm clueless as to the duration.  My ps said it would be 8 - 10 month process depending upon wether or not I needed chemo or radiation.  Is that starting from recon surgery all the way through exchange to nipple recon?  I met with my onco for the first time yesterday and got the news that I won't be doing chemo.  Yea!  She is consulting with another doctor about radiation on me because of my margins.  My cancer was only 1mm away from my chest wall.

    Sorry this message is so long, but I wanted to go to the experts that have already been through all this.  And your right there must have been something in the air or a full moon, because I thought about sending this comment at 3:30 am when I was awake and couldn't sleep.

    Thanks,

    Sandy

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2008

    Sandy, I had my bilat surgery with expander surgery June 1 last year. I got my last fill on Aug 16 and had the exchange surgery Nov 2. I had DCIS and did not need chemo or rads. I will get my tattoos (hopefully) next week. My tattoo appointment has been rescheduled 2 times because of various things. Every PS has their own time line for when to do the next procedure after the first one is completed.

    My PS said at the beginning 'The Good Lord took 13 years to make your first set of boobs, you have to give me at least 8 months.'

    Sheila

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