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  • shrink
    shrink Member Posts: 936
    edited January 2008

    Sending cyber hugs to you.  How discouraging to anticipate good news and have the rug pulled out from under you like that.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2008

    Hi Grammie, welcome to the boards, we're glad you found us and hope you will be, too.

    When I was dx'd, that's the first thing I cried about, almost, was that my adult kids arn't even in relationships, let alone have kids.  I thought I'd be dead before I got to see their babies.

    Well, I'm 5 years out, 64 and doing very well.

    Your fears are about the same as most of us about hair and such. You are perfectly NORMAL.

    If you want more info about the other breast, demand an MRI to look at both of them and rule out any bc in the other breast before you decide to do bilat.

    I had unilat. and am happy I did, but please know, you must have realistic expectations about recon results.  It'll never be your real breast, but they do pretty good work now, even tho it does take a while to complete the process. 

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  • kimmer53
    kimmer53 Member Posts: 1
    edited January 2008

    I, too am new to this site. I had a lumpectomy and lymph node removal yesterday. I won't know the results of the tests on the lymph nodes for a few days, but am obviousely terrified.   I have been reading your posts and wanted to comment to Maureen's comments to Sherry.  Sherry expresssed all the fear that I have and then some, but it was Maureen's comments that made me feel like I may find some help here.  Thank you, I will keep reading.

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2008

    Hello Kimmer, I am so glad you have found us and that you will be comming back.  I'm sure Maureen will be happy to know she helped you so much.

    Welcome, Kimmer, we look forward to hearing more from you.

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  • star
    star Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2008

    Hi! I was diagnosed inDec. and at first my Dr. thought I only had alump in my left breast but then he found I also had two cells in my lymph node. I had one chemo treatment so far and feel great. Ihope all of them will be like this.  My friends made me a dinner to give me srength!! 

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2008

    Hello Star, welcome to the boards, hope you'll come often and post frequently.

    You have great friends and that is terriffic!

    You might ck out the chemo board down below here and talk with some of the gals there and they can help you thru chemo and give you some good tips.

    I, too, hope all your chemo is easy.  It is different for everyone.

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  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited January 2008

    Nice things said. Can't remember except for mom's comment that I was the one (of 5 sibings) that DID have a pretty head as a baby!  I had to laugh.  Said to her, 'Mom, I was only one born with a full head of hair!'! Laughing

    But.... soon after I lost my hair, my dd's bf shaved his off in support.  That same night I got an email from my lil' sister 47 y/o, with pics of her dd (who had lost her hair to chemo at age 8) shaving my sister and 2 of her sons heads in support! 

    Personally, I think my sister is NUTTY!  WHat woman would do that?  She lives 8 hours from me and I think she felt it was another to support me being as she can't be here like another sister and brother, and my mom.  It's just amazing that people would do that for you, you know?  Actions certainly spoke louder than words for this girl!

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  • star
    star Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2008

    Hi Iodine!  Thanks for greeting me here. I think that 5 years free is so great!  I guess we all will be counting forever and never taking our lives for granted. I  saw the movie Bucket list and appreciatedthe story.Did you go to a gym to exercise during chemo?  Star

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2008

    I was able to decline chemo by choosing a mast, and the onc said it would help only 3 of 100 women with my exact diagnosis, i was in the grey area.

    I was also node negative.

    I know that some women make it to the gym, but the majority seem to do better with a walking program.  I find that walking in the bad/hot/cold weather is better at a place like Lowe's or Home Depot.

    It's amazing how few people are really there and they are just huge.

    I like it better than a mall, too many people to walk around.

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  • myraphogue
    myraphogue Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2008

    You go Girl! Smile  Chemo is rough on the body and you are doing great.  I live in Omaha, NE and I am would like to see aerobics classes for breast cancer patients as part of their treatment in every state.

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  • myraphogue
    myraphogue Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2008

    Grannie, losing your hair is part of the treatment.  You will never loose your image to the people who love you. 

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  • star
    star Member Posts: 4
    edited February 2008

    Hi kimmer5 !  How did your  surgery go?  We all hpoe good wishes for you. Ever since my dx in Dec.07 I think about it alot.  I am getting the same  surgery as you after 8 chem treatments.I just got my 1st. How is the surgery-recovery time?  Take care Star 

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2008

    A note on the exercise, I also walk at the lowes hardware during bad weather and the Wig Bank of Caldwell County has a restorative yoga class every week for all levels of treatment. The oncology nurse teaches the class and I found it helpful when going through the expanders last summer.

    Sheila

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  • Karen51
    Karen51 Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2008

    Hello..I'm new to the site..I was dx 11/07 and had a lumpectomy 01/08 and and waiting to find out if I'll need chem. It has been the hardest time in my life...I feel numb and no control left in my life. My family is having a hard time dealing with it too..Thank you for sharing your stories and this site is great.

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited February 2008

    Hi Karen, I'm so sorry you had to find us, but want you to know you are welcome here and we want to help you thru the maze of breast cancer and it's treatment.

    Yes, reading the stories of others is a huge help, and knowing that others feel a lot of the same feelings and experience the same things is a good thing, too.

    Please let us know what things you are curious about and what concerns you have.  We want to help.

    Come often and post frequently!

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  • susanscal
    susanscal Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2008

    hey all...on web site for first time...have questions...this is all new to me and quite frank;y i dont even know how this works!

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited February 2008

    Hello susancal, sorry you had to find us and know exactly how you feel.  This was my first board to post on,too.  You'll learn quickly and find a wealth of Good info and support here.

    If you go to the top of the page on the menu of the thread topics, you will see a "start a new conversation" and click on it.  Put in a title, Like I'm new here.  Then write a post with any and all info you would like to share so we can get to know you and your status.

    You will get Way more responses.  Some newbies get missed when they add on to a thread, but we are very accustomed to seeing that,too, so just give it a shot to start your own converstion and let us help.

    In the meantime< HUGS>

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  • Nwamaka
    Nwamaka Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2008

    Three days ago I was told I have invasive breast cancer...now what? My husband met me at the doctors office and said "One day at a time baby, we'll get through this alright, together." I can't see my screen through the tears

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited February 2008

    hello Nwamaka, welcome to the place no one wanted to ever look for.  You will find a lot of caring and informed women and men here to help you ride the rollercoaster and walk the maze of medical care for breast cancer.

    Tears are good and sounds like your husband (dh) has the right attitude.  The more informed you both are the better decisions YOU can make, and there will quite a few of those.

    Ask your doc for something to help you sleep if you need it.  You're going to need all your wits about you and sleep is of the first importance.

    If you will begin a thread of your own you'll hear from more of us instead being hidden away in this thread.

    Please, come often and let us know you better, we want to help.

    Hugs

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  • thedudess
    thedudess Member Posts: 64
    edited February 2008

    Hello Nwamaka

    I too was told the same thing over a month ago.  It is such a blow that your mind and body does not know how to handle it.  All I can say is lean on the ones that love you.  My dh has been a great help to me and reassuring me that I will be loved no matter what and that together we can get thru this.  Read the board and ask questions, all the women here are kind and know their stuff.  Just be kind to yourself right now, it is difficult when you first learn you have bc.  There is no going back only moving forward, keep your chin up will be amazed at how many survivors you meet that you had no idea have already battled bc, like my neighbor two doors down.

    thinking of you

    shelby

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  • cruznorth
    cruznorth Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2008

    Hi everyone-

    Thought I'd give this site a try.  I have finished my chemo treatment but still am getting the herceptin.  Since I've finished it seems like everybody slowly slipped away.  I'm divorced with teenage kids but not many people to talk to when feeling down.  So I've tried to keep myself busy exercising like crazy and staying busy.  I want to live life without worrying everyday that the cancer may come back.  That seems silly to live like that.  So anyone have any suggestions how to deal with the after effects and living life to the fullest?  Maybe a support group or something?  Thanks for listening......

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited March 2008

    Hi cruznorth!  So glad you've finished chemo treatment and welcome to the boards.  We look forward to becomming part of your support system and if you want a "live" one, we have a chat room and you can ck your local city for a breast cancer support group.  Call the local breast or cancer center and/or Guilda's Club if you have one there.

    It is not unusual AT ALL for everyone to drop off after the "excitement" of diagnosis and "active" treatment is finished.  They think we are all done'---yeah, right! 

    Now is the time that the post traumatic stress symdrome sets in and we actually have time and energy to wrap our heads around the fact that we have freekin! cancer!

    This is the hard part, so don't expect it to just go away.  You are PERFECTLY NORMAL.  You have canceritis: even a hang nail "might" be something to worry about.  I think I had cancer of my left big toe at one time and of my eyebrows the next.  It's normal.  BUT, it does get better after about a year and a half.

    In the meantime, ck out the singles board by scrolling down and meet some great gals who are single and some have kids, too.

    If you have down days, don't worry, let yourself do what you need, a good cry, vent, broken plates, or a huge laugh, what ever it takes.

    You have some grieving to do, for your diagnosis, and your loss of innocence about life.  It's ok if you're not UP all the time.

    It's ok, if you Are, too.

    Don't wear yourself out, you have physical healing to do after chemo and while on Herceptin.  Give yourself a break.  Rest is a good thing, even if you do begin thinking, mostly that's a good thing, too.

    Please come on back and let us get to know you better, we look forward to becomming part of your support and information.

    Hugs.

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  • merlin
    merlin Member Posts: 108
    edited March 2008

    A friend said to me that sometimes it always seems like it is raining, but if you try hard and look to the clouds the sun is always trying to break through and maybe  also sometimes a beautiful rainbow too...

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  • jenniferewhite
    jenniferewhite Member Posts: 1
    edited March 2008

    Hi- I need help, helping my friend that starts Chemo Thursday.  She's very positive, but I would appreciate suggestions from those of you who obviously know what would have/could help you during this time....  She will have 3 rounds- wait 3-6 weeks and then 6 weeks of radiation- she is married with a 3 year old beautiful and active boy.  I am states away, but am close with some of her friends that are close.  I'm sending cards and books- but any other ideas of how I can be more helpful?

    signed-

    wanna be a good friend

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  • kimmie0371
    kimmie0371 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2008

    It is nice to know that there are people out there who care alot about another person. I am glad that I have this chat room as well. i have been through this once it was 7 years ago and beat it and have been in remission until about 3 months ago it is now not only in my breasts but also in my chest-I am going through rapid chemo treatments and it is making me so sick there are days that I cant get out of bed to take my children to school. I know how it feels when your boobs hurt so bad that you just want to cry and hopefully your children will not hear you or will you new husband of over just a month. We have waited on each other for a little over 15 years to be together and now this. I think that GOD is punishing me for some strange reason and dont know why. Do you or anyone else. I know that this is to be a possitive site but it is hard to stay like that when there are days that you just want to give up and ask GOD to go ahead and take you so that the pain will go away. I want to fight with every part of my being, but the last round of breast cancer that I had took all I had and now I have a new husband who is scared to death and he has never been afraid of anything in his life and this is something he cant fight because he cant see it what he tells me is that he has enough faith for the both of us and our oldest daughter is 18 now and she is scared as well and she is starting to see the changes in me like my hair falling out everyday and the fact that I have lost 68 pounds in less than 3 months not the way i wanted to loose all of that weight but I guess it happens. Thanks to whomever made up this websight it is a GOD send to alot of people like me and others who are trying to survive this dreadful disease that takes many lives of not only women but men as well bet most of you out there didnt know that I have done alot of research since I have been back in rapid chemotherapy to try to get this disease from my chest and break it up but the only real scare is that where is it going to go if it does? Who knows not even the oncologists but she is hopefull that I can make it through this with alot of family support, faith and love-not to mention I havent seen my sister since 2004 and she found out and she showed up at my apartment the other night wanting to know if there was anything she could do. Pretty strange if you ask me but at least she showed up in the first place. She is a breast cancer survivor and has been for 14 months now-she has a complete mastectomy and now she is doing great and doing all the right things to take care of herself and her body she is also a diabetic just like me-our mother past away at the age of 51 with breast cancer and now she is scared for me because I am only 36 for all of you out there keep up the positive attitudes and no matter how bad you feel or how many times a day your boobs hurt and you cry and there is no amount of pain medication in the world or xanax to help you through the day rely on your loved ones and they will pray and carry all the faith for you even if you dont have it at this moment in time thanks for listening to part of my story kimmie0371

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  • kimmie0371
    kimmie0371 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2008

    Be as positive as you can-it sounds like she is as positive as she can be at this time in her life-books and magazines are ok-but what she really needs is prayer and support from family and friends-dont ask alot of questions if she wants to talk let her spark up the conversation-she will want to talk but always ask how things are going-if her little boy is as active as you say and seems in the picture once she starts her chemo treatments she is going to need family and friends to help with him because he is not going to understand why mommy is so sick-she will need support and someone who will truly have all the faith that once she starts her chemo she will say that it makes her so sick she doesnt want to do it any more. Tell her it is for her little boy and she will finish her treatments as directed. I am a survivor and now have it again in both breasts and chest and going through rapid chemo and then radiation so if there is anything I can say or do let me know and i will help in anyway that i can because i have already been down this bumpy road and believe me when i tell you it always gets worse before it gets better. Is she a single mom? Does she have a husband or boyfriend ? Family and you sound like a great friend. You may want to take a small vacation and go and see her since you live a few states away to stay with her when she has about her 2-3 treatment and help out with her son she will be sick and she will start to loose her hair and she will not be the same person for awhile she has to stay positive and she will need positive people around her and you sound like just what she needs anything i can do? kimmie0371

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  • kimmie0371
    kimmie0371 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2008

    You are always going to be who you are-with or without your brests-your hair and the weight that you will loose-your self image is not what is really important here now is it-it should be whether or not you want to be around to see that new grandbaby and see and watch them grow-you will do just fine-have faith and if you dont have it right now that is ok too because some people speaking of myself dont have it right now but self image is not who you really are inside -who you really are inside is what makes you who you are so if it were me I'd do the bilateral it can always come back in the other if you don't-if you don't like what your oncologists are saying then get another opinion before you decide make sure your decision includes your family and most of that husband of yours because I am sure after all of the years you've been married he is going to want to know what your decision will be/ Let them voice their opinions and always remember the final decision is and will always be up to you

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  • kimmie0371
    kimmie0371 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2008

    I have beaten bc once and have been in remission for 7 years and now it is back with vengence and i am doing rapid chemo treatments and then radiation-it is also in my lymph nodes all the way down to my pelvic region and I have had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 28-I am now 36 and have 3 beautiful children and 2 of them are teenagers and one is 7 and he does not understand the changes. I hope and wish you all the best of luck in your recovery and if there is anything I can say or do please let me know i will keep reading and looking for your comments-whoever came up with the site for women like us is a wonderful person and I just wish that i could chat with you personally

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  • kimmie0371
    kimmie0371 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2008

    Welcome Star and hope all is well with all of your treatments I hope they go as good as the first one. I hope to hear more from you on the site it seems like a great place for all of bc survivors and those of us going through rough times to talk and chat with one another-hope to hear from you soon and stay in touch

    Kimmie0371

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  • kimmie0371
    kimmie0371 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2008

    Karen 51-thanks for shring your story-I just joined the site today myself-it is very theraputic to be able to talk to someone who is going and has gone through the same thing that alot of us women are going through-strength is a woman's most prize posession and dont ever let anyone tell you different-we are all alike in some ways and then so different in many others but the one thing that we all have in common is inner strength-keep in touch and keep to the site for support if you need it there are alot of us here who need the same support that you do kimmie0371

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