Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

HI there...I just started treatment about 1 and 1/2 weeks ago for a Local Reccurence and New Primary of Breast Cancer after Bi-Lateral Mastectomy 2yrs ago.  I had DCIS..STAGE 0 and it came back in 3 tumors!   I go for my next treatment this coming thursday...4 A/C, then 4 Taxol...waiting to hear from the Mayo Clinic for one of the tumors HER receptor...one was negative..the other borderline..the 3rd was microscopic so they didnt test that one....I still have my hair...I had immediate reconstruction 2 yrs ago...so I still have my no breasts...but I am so NOT looking forward to this...They are treating me as if I was a STAGE 3 because of the reccurence....Petscan was CLEAN...thank GOD!  

Hi all. Just a quick check in. I've read all of the posts - but I'm still too mentally foggy to properly reply.

I do want to say Joni that I'm really sorry you had such a scare and so much pain. Please give Thor a big hug from me. What a hero he is. I hope you at least get some pain relief soon. I think we should get Thor a service dog jacket so he can accompany you everywhere you go!

Skye - I hope you get that biopsy taken care of soon.  

Nancy - I am sorry about the job situation. Will that impact your health insurance?

Melia - Sending lots of hugs to you.

Everyone else - I'm thinking about all of you and promise I'll post more when my head clears up a bit.

I'm really pleased with my recovery so far. I was discharged from the hospital this morning and it's nice to be in the hotel where things are a bit more quiet and private. I still have a lot of pain. I can't get in/out of bed by myself, but once I'm up I can get around well enough. I'm down to just one drain - but I think I'll be stuck with it for awhile.

Everything looks good so far, but it's really hard to tell with the swelling. Dr. Allen and Dr. Massey both seemed very pleased with the results and I'm confident that I will be too. I look better that I had expected too at this point. I have to say that the pain has been very bad - I'm thankfull for drugs

I do want to share the one little "scare" we had while in the hospital.  2 days ago I was having more pain than usual, got up (with DH's help) to go to the bathroom and then passed out cold on the toilet. (Very dignified - go ahead and laugh - it's OK). Apparently I was out for a few minutes. When I woke up there were a ton of nurses crowded around and they were clearly in crisis mode. As they were carrying me back (ouch!) to bed the rapid response team arrived. At this point I was struggling to stay conscious and couldn't really speak. The rapid response team set to work putting in an IV. Just my luck I had JUST had the IV taken out a few hours before b/c I'd been doing so well without it for so long! They put me on oxygen.

So this hulking dude in a black t-shirt is hoving over me getting very frustrated that he can't get a vein. At some point his ego has become bruised and he seems to be on a personal mission to get a vein no matter what. They tried several parts of my arm and hand - then out of desparation switched to they surgical side (OK'd by doc who was in the room by then). That didn't work either after several attempts and by this point I was very loudly complaining. Someone - thankfully - finally had the bright idea to just make me drink juice. I was happy to comply! Anyway, eventually my blood pressure came back up and everyone settled down. I think I gave the nurses quite a scare.

I was on the labor and delivery floor and they were all quick to tell me that they usually just don't see so much excitement. DH was fabulous and stayed cool the whole time (or at least looked like it). I was OK because I could see that he wasn't panicked. I just kept watching him. At one point they put him out in the hall b/c there were so many people in the hall - and that was the point where I had some real anxiety.

My nurses were excellent before my little "episode" as it came to be known - but I really had lots of attention afterwards. They were all afraid to leave me alone! (And were much more generous with the pain meds)

So if I had any modesty or dignity left I certainly lost it while passed out on the hospital toilet! I collected quite a few new bruises too - especially from the failed IV attempts. I look like I lost a fight.

They never did get the IV in - which I was silently pleased about. The rapid response guy actually came to my room the next afternoon and apologized. He said in 15 years he'd never been unable to get an IV in. He clearly felt horrible about the whole thing.  I assured him that I've been the cause of a lot of broken records where needle sticks are concerned!

Anyway - figured you guys might be the only ones who would see the humor in this story. 

On another note I was incredibly suprised yesterday when 3 friends from my local support group showed up at the hospital to visit. It's a 3+ hour drive - I was stunned. Apparently the look on my face was priceless.

My aunt was buried on Friday. I feel horrible that my mom didn't go b/c she was staying with my kids. We told her we could get someone else to watch them - but she wouldn't go. I really haven't had the ability to process it all yet. She was my favorite aunt and we've always been very close. 

Joni (and Thor), Skye, Melia, Nancy, Tina, Rebecca, Mary, Mel, Viddie  & everyone else (I know the percocet is making me leave people off this list) - I'm sending you lots of hugs. It's really been helpful to me to be able to read your kind words while I'm recovering! I'm so grateful for your support.

Hi Everyone,

I had a lazy day just processing all the issues and putting them into prospective. Did I accomplish anything? No. Oh well. A guy that Jeff knows through a network in the trade wants him to join in a partnership starting a new company. But I'm nervous about that, this guy reminds me of "Beelzebub". Seemingly, He will give you the world, but when he is ready to collect yikes watch out!! I voted no.

Jan, we bought an individual health insurance plan HSA a few years ago. We got tired of the employer changing carriers every year. They would go back and forth. It happened so often I would forget who the heck we had.  Then we decided that it gave us some freedom too. By not having an employer providing it. Seems those bennies can be a trap in a dead end type job.

Your ordeal at the hospital, my gosh! You guys....this is why I can't do the reconstruction, I can't go through it! Something has happened in some way to all of you, AAAHHH!

Skye, I watched the tape today of your show. You are so cute and you have that Northern accent! That dogdude thingy freaks me out though, creepy! What in the world is that thing? I've got the shivers.

I'm not aware of any weirdo thing in Ohio, thank goodness.

I'm going in Monday morning to have a tooth pulled, so I can get on with my dental restoration work. It is an old root canal tooth that disintegrated after chemo and broke off. It is very annoying and I will be glad its out. Doesn't hurt or anything, so I hope to just be numbed up for it.

Take care all

Have a great Sunday!

Dear, dear Jan! You really outdid yourself with your long post - it is so good to hear from you and to know you're ok - it seems to me your head is quite clear, to write such a lot. Glad you're out of the hospital and able to relax in the peace and quiet. I'm guessing you don't have a hospital bed in the hotel - are you sleeping in a recliner? Hope your pain eases up soon. I did the same thing as you after my mastectomy - passed out on the toilet, fell down on my head, and scared dh to death (and, totally lost my dignity, I might add). He got me up and put me in a chair, where I passed out twice more. I'm sure you scared all your nurses half to death - just so glad you're ok. I'm so sorry your mom didn't get to go to your aunt's funeral, but I know that she is exactly where she feels she needs to be. Your aunt would probably have wanted her to be there, too.

Tina, come to Houston!!! How exciting - please let me know when you come for an interview or whatever. I'd love to have you here! There are lots of good things about Houston, as much as I complain. And we could have fun. Something good will turn up, I'm sure of it.

Mary, you've got all kinds of hair, girl! You're looking good. Wasn't talking about your ds specifically when talking about the Houston drivers. But around here, you either adapt, or you die. So, we adapt, and we all drive crazy.

Lynn, please let us know when the movie is going to be on. It will be sad, probably, but I definitely want to see it.

Melia, please explain how you managed to streamline the process of getting on the board. I'll take any help I can get.

Viddie, hope you have a great trip to DC and a good visit with Meri. We'll miss you while you're away.

Nancy, glad your health insurance isn't in jeopardy, at least. I hadn't even thought of that until Jan mentioned it. Hope you guys are doing ok.

Happy Sunday, everyone.

hey there hellooo

Jan so glad to see you are "online" and that you got taken care of in the hospital,its good to hear from you ..take it easy at the hotel !

Joni yes take a pic of the mountains for me , enjoy yourself at the Banff Springs , just being there is good in itself , my mother and my sister both worked there in the kitchen when they were younger . Unfourtunlatly they both passed away when they were young . My sister is in the cemetary in Canmore right by the transcanda right across from the "Three Sisters" under a little part that they call "squaws tit " .we always had a good laugh about it when she was really sick . The place holds such a place in my heart ... the "Three Sisters " are my mum , my sis and me .

Nancy .... double damn with your dh , its hard for us to imagine the issues facing the likes of Tina and yourself and what is happening down there with your economy . Its hard enough to get sick never mind trying to keep a roof over your head , the stories coming out of the news can be disheartening . BUT when people stick together and help each other like us its seems to help .. think positive .... keep your chin up ... and take it easy (())

Caya sounds like you have been extra busy , have a good time out with your dd a quiet house is what i sometimes crave and a clean one , but I know without my two dd's it would not be the same and I should quit complaining about the mess in my house . My BIG dog gets it messier than them ! Joni thank Thor give him BIG hugs good boy he is !

Viddie , Lynne , mel , mary , melia , robin , skye , cindy and all of ya its friggin cold here ....winter sure is long like Bambi said ..... at least we are not all in the depths of chemo right now . Thank God for that ... where is spring ? We saw a virgina opossum in our backyard last week big fat thing ! I got up close to it and our big newfy dog was scared of it ! humph ... imagine that , now all i want is to see the birds back and my spring bulbs to bloom ...... only Feb is still to come ... ho hum .... oh my hang in there my sista's !

My dad and his wife brought the girls from Charlotte to our hotel today. I was so happy to see them. Someone must have given them a serious talk before hand b/c they gave me such gentle hugs. They appear to be convinced they may break me. I'll have to give them so reassurance about that! I'm so glad they are here. My morning consisted of a quick shower, getting dressed, and hanging out with my kids and dad for a bit. Then I slept the rest of the afternoon.

No hospital bed or recliner in the hotel, but DH has mastered the art of getting me in and out of bed - which is really the only thing I can't manage at all on my own. I can manage to get up and down from the couch OK. I don't have a shower chair here either - so the showers are quick - but DH helps with that too. 

DH went to Earth Fare for groceries early this morning and came back with a teddy bear for me. It's really soft and stuffed with a removable pouch that can be heated or cooled and smells wonderful. I'm going to try cooling it tonight and see if it helps with the hot flashes that wake me up at night. Anyway, you should see my girls eyeing the poor bear (we named him Ted) with envy. I can see the wheels spinning. Each of them silently trying to figure out how to get him

OK - back to the couch for awhile. I'm so sick of watching TV but can't seem to focus enough to get through more than 1/2 of a magazine article. I shouldn't of bothered bringing books with me. I have however become addicted to sudoku. 

Rebecca and Robbin, I sent a PM, too. I hope I gave the same info that Rebecca did.

Jan, glad you had a nice day with your girls and your dad. Keep up the healing.

have a good week everyone.

Hi all,

Had a sunny day today so Jeff and I took our big dog Elliott for a walk at a reserve. It was nice to get some sun and fresh air, but the paths were snow and ice covered and hard to walk. I kept my eyes open for a dogman, but no luck. LOL.

We came home and worked on the kitchen. We talked about a plan and I really want him to take some time and not make any rash decisions. We can live off savings for a bit, so I calmed down. I just wish the housing market wasn't so bad, because if it was up to me, I would move from Ohio all together. Houses just aren't selling.

Jan, I am very jealous of your bear too, these hot flashes are really getting to me.

Debbie, that joke was a riot, I sent it to my MIL, she'll appreciate it and probably will forward it to her friends.

Well, gals I'm going to try and go to sleep now, has not been easy here lately. Maybe I need atiman.

Night all

Tina - I have a good friend who lives in Alexandria. I'd be happy to pass on any questions about housing to her.

Rebecca - I've tried a few times over the years to develop an interest in crosswords, but have never suceeded. It seems that crosswords have their own vocabulary of words that no one uses for anything other that crosswords and I've always found that irritating. I guess if I'm going to learn some new words I want them to be usefull...

Skye - good for you for showing the turtle faces that you can dance. I can't believe you managed to arrange a date for your son too - you are always looking out for him! 

Cindy - glad you are finally getting some relief from the hot flashes. LOL at the idea of the dental tech - maybe they should offer facials and a shoulder massage too. Maybe then people wouldn't hate going to the dentist quite so much. 

Well now that you all mention it I do seem to recall the word vasovagal used. I've actually fainted once during almost every hopsital visit that I've ever had, so I guess it didn't suprise me much.

DH and the girls are out sight-seeing today and I'm enjoying having the hotel room to myself. It's so quiet! I should be back home tomorrow night or Wednesday.

I'm feeling better and stronger but still very, very tired. Do you think that's a lingering effect of the anesthesia? I suppose it could be the pain pills also. I could easily sleep 24/7 - but I'm trying not too.

I am just so thrilled to have two breasts again! I smile everytime I think that I don't have to put that prothesis in my bra again. I can't wait until I can go buy a couple of new bras. 

Oh and Jan, I forgot to say how jealous I am that you are already down to 1 drain...good for you!  I had 4 drains for 2 weeks, then had 3 out and carried that last stubborn one 2 more weeks totaling 4 weeks with that drain...hopefully you won't have one in that long.

Tina, I really do not know what else to say rather than UGH!!!!!

and phooey on that company for being nasty jerks.

as a possible silver lining, if they are firing so many people, it should raise red flags in the industry, and take some of the "bite" out of being let go like that.  Maybe this will help Paul land another job.

Well, I screwed up my courage and called my PS office and cancelled that reinstated appointment that I was bullied into making.  Ok, so maybe I copped out and actually called the message service .... but anyway, I cancelled it, and I said in my message that I would call to reschedule, and that should hopefully keep the nasty receptionist from harassing me and implying that I am being stupid when in truth I am making the most responsible decision I can for myself and my family.  I also called an in-network PS and set up a consult, so it is entirely possible that I will have my baywatch-boob fixed before you guys even see me in July!  Boy, that would be nice, wouldn't it?  Now lets cross our fingers that this PS is cool!

 Happy monday to you all....

Hello Ta Ta's,

Well I have had quite a roller coaster of emotions today.  My onc's nurse phoned and told me that my Estradiol indicates that I am NOT menopausal.  I asked her if I could still take the Arimidex, but she said No.  Anyways, this afternoon she called me back, and I will be getting my first shot of Zoladex on Wed morning.  Have any of you had to have these?  She told me to put Emla cream on my stomach and cover it with saran wrap.  I will be getting this Zoladex shot every 28 days for about 3 to 6 months and then a heavier dosage that will be good for 3 months.  After one month I will be able to start the Arimidex, so at least it's not chemo.  I was very upset this morning when I first thought I had to do chemo again....so I feel like I got a bit of a reprieve.

Wednesday is going to be a big day.  I've also been put in this study to see if bone mets responds best to Radiation/Acupunture, Radiation/Meditation, or just Radiation.  I have to draw from a basket and I will be put in that group.  I also have to fill out all these papers for the study, but if it helps me or someone else in the future, I feel it will be worth it.  After that I go for my radiation simulation of my hip and sacro iliac.  I will also find out how many treatments I have to have.  I think Dan is coming with me all Wednesday morning.  He even came home from work today to be with me, because I got so upset when she first called. 

I had a wonderful time at the wedding on Saturday.  There were lots of people from my old firm there (Nova, Pipeline Company) and we all had a great time.  That is the first Scottish/Greek wedding I have ever been too.  The bride's parents (my good friends) are Scottish the groom is Greek.  They were married in the traditional Greek Orthodox ceremony, but she was piped into the church with a bagpiper, and her Dad (Dan Mowat), wore his kilt.  She had 5 bridesmaids, they all wore Cerise coloured bustier gowns with white trim, and an insert at the back that was white.  The Bride wore a White Bustier dress trimmed in the Cerise colour along with a cerise coloured train.  It was just beautiful.  The sun was shining and the weather was pretty warm for a January in the Rockies.

Today and for the next four days we are going to be brutally cold.  It is -34 outside, but the windchill is making it -49.  They have blizzard warnings out for all of Southern Alberta.   I was going to go to Edmonton for my uncle's funeral this week, but they are telling everyone to stay off the highways due to the blowing snowdrifts, and with all the things I have to do on Wed, I'm not going.  The funeral is set for Thursday at the Basilica in Edmonton.  Caya you are so lucky you didn't come out here this week, it's too cold to do anything.

Skye, hope your news is good news and that that spot is just a cyst.  You have been in my prayers.

Jan, it is so good to see that you are out of the hospital, and I bet seeing your little girls was a real tonic.  That episode in the washroom must have been quite scary for everyone, I'm glad it was nothing really serious.  Let us know when you get to go home, or do you have to wait until your last drain is out?  Hugs to you.

Nancy, I'm so sorry about your husband and his job loss.  Do you think you will have to move for him to get another job? 

Cindy, you sure do get out a lot, sounds like you had another terrific weekend. 

Melia, hope they have a plan in place for you and your husband.  Mel how is your leg?  Are you back to work?  Debbie, I loved that joke, it really made me laugh.

Sharon, Rebecca, Viddie, Lynn, Amera, Robbin and if I missed anyone I'm sorry...hope all are well....Loving hugs to all....Joni

Tina - That is really the pits about your DH's former boss.  I sounds to me like he might want to speak to a lawyer about wrongful dismissal.  That company sounds like a real bunch of losers.

Jan - I hope you are feeling better.  I'm sure seeing your DDs is the best medicine for you.  Take it easy when you go home, like Lynn says you will feel tired for a number of weeks.

Joni - My DH is in Edmonton today - he got out of Saskatoon last night on the last flight out, in between the storms.  He's supposed to drive to Calgary tomorrow, I hope the blowing snow dies down.  I am still premenopausal too, but my onc. did not want to shut down my ovaries.  The gyn. onc. I saw last year at PMH thought I should have my ovaries out, so I am going to speak to my breast onc. about this again.  I haven't had my blood levels checked in a while regarding menopause, so he'll probably want to do that again.

It's great that you are partipating in a study.  I also participated in a clinical trial when I was undergoing the BRCA testing - it was a psychological survey, how I felt before, during and after receiving the news.  I'm glad you had a great time at the wonderful wedding - you certainly need the fun.

Rebecca - good for you for phoning that PS office.  I don't blame you for avoiding that b*tch - you are such a sweet person, that's the type these people try to roll right over.  Hopefully the new PS will be good and be able to help you out.

Cindy - I love going to the theatre.  "Same Time Next Year" is a great play.

Gals - Bette Midler was on Oprah today, and she talked about her new Vegas show which is opening in late Feb. - They had footage of her with her showgirls rehearsing - I really hope we can go see it.  We should obviously try for Friday or Saturday night.

I started the 75 mg. dose of Effexor today, felt a bit of a buzz in the morning, and a bit tired, but I know it will be a few days until my body adjusts.  I hope it will help with the hot flashes and that little bit of anxiety I still feel.

Stay warm everyone.