Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Mary that really stinks about how you are being treated at work.  In today’s fickle work environment long term loyalty is not appreciated anymore…mostly I think because it is so rare.  I think it is so sad that businesses in our country are so blinded by “the bottom line” that they neglect employees and customers alike!  This may seem a bit off topic, but I think it is the other side of this coin (and it really annoys me).  Owen has really gotten into Transformers, so this holiday season, we purchased for him several figures and  variety of associated “stuff”.  This stuff is not insanely expensive, but it is not terribly cheap as well (Optimus Prime helmet was about $30).  He loves his Transformers, but fully ¾ of the time that he spends playing with them is spent PUTTING THEM BACK TOGETHER because they fall apart so easily.  This is because the toy manufacturers have scrimped and cut back and made these as cheaply as they possibly can with  no regard to how this item will function after purchase.  Pathetic.

Skye, I would love to have the wrath of the Ta-Tas unleashed on MCC but I am not sure how much good it will do.  Unfortunately this situation is a function of the fact that I am Adjunct Faculty, which means that I work for the school on a semester by semester basis.  FT faculty are required to teach a minimum number of classes per semester, and when their sections get cancelled (as has been happening this semester at an alarming rate) they must replace them with other, open sections. Unfortunately, many of those open sections are already staffed by adjuncts like me…so we lose out while the college saves money (why pay me to teach a class that can be taught by a salaried FT professor?).  It actually makes sense if you stop and think, it is just very annoying and upsetting.  At this point I am rather at peace with it, because the reality of it is that I have chosen this life….very consciously…so that I could have the freedom and flexibility I need to be able to devote the majority of my time to raising my kids.   When Frances was born, I decided that I could not place her in daycare every day while I went to work, and that it was my responsibility to raise her (and any other midgets who happened to enter my life) myself.  Over the next few years I found that I could NOT just stay at home and be a mom (this is not a slur against stay at home moms….I actually view it as a failing of mine that I was unable to do this), I needed to do something else as well….and adjunct teaching fit the bill perfectly.  It is a compromise, really…it does not pay well, but it pays enough to send Owen to half day preschool, it is sometimes uncertain and stressful but I enjoy it and it keeps me sane.  So I guess in the long run, the trouble and inconvenience of this semester is worth it (if that makes any sense at all)

Jan I am glad that you had such a positive experience with your Onc and that you feel EVEN MORE comfortable with the choices that you have made.  Comfort level is sooooo important when going for something as involved as a DIEP.

Lynn I agree with Mel about herbal remedies…I think that is great advice.  My hot flashes have pretty much gone, but I am not sure if that is a function of the Effexor or the return of my “friend”. 

Mel that is such a sad story about that  newly Dx woman whose husband deserted her.  People can be such heels sometimes!  Someone should remind that guy about the vows he took on his wedding day.

Lynn that sounds like a great time with your sister! 

OK, have to start my morning… hugs to all!

Oh, good for you, Lynn.  Glad you had a nice time w/your sister.  The closet thing I have to a sister (besides you guys) is my cousin, Jeannie.  She is seven years older than me, lives in Boston and has no sisters either.  We grew up down the st. from each other, but she always seemed lightyears older than me.  We hung out in our early 20's...I was actually w/her at a bar called the Exchange in the Financial District of Boston the night I met the DH.  Anyway, she has a very busy life...her 9 year old son has PDD and although he is doing very well, it's quite a challenge.  PDD is on the autism spectrum.

Jan, I've had a few of those bewildered looks from my onc. too, when I've told him things my other dr's have said.  I'm like jeez, don't you guys ever talk?  I don't blame you for not wanting to be a guinea pig.  You want the best here.

Mary, good for you for speaking up and for doing so so promptly.  That tells her you aren't up for putting up with any sh*t.

Skye, neutral news is good news.  I'll take that!  I think Mel may be on to something.  If all they could get from your tests is non-definitive information, that bolsters the case for the PET.  Also, dog is adorable.  He belongs on TV.

Lynn, I was on 75 mgs. of effexor up until my heart attack.  Stopped it altogether for a month, but went back on 37.5 a few weeks ago.  Feeling better on it. Not sure if I'll up it to the full 75 again.  We'll see.  Once again, though, the scale is down. 

Good news...cruise co. called last night and told DH that they have a few more people to get feedback from but even so, they are in process of preparing an offer and determining a relocation pkg.  I pray it's decent.  Just told the kids that uniforms are mandatory in south Florida public schools and they flipped out.  Jaclyn cried.  Finally, she said "well, at least I'll be able to "choose out" my underwear."  I am going to lunch w/Wendy and Gemma, two of my neighbors today...  today I feel like getting out.  Yesterday was a day of blah.  I guess I finally feel like we're making some progress.

Mel, that is rough, having to coach the people going through tough times at work...  my friend Kim, whose daughter had leukemia at age 5 (she's now 16) said she always hated going back in to Dana Farber for check ups because it brought it all back for her.  I'm sure it's a similar feeling.

Debbie, Mexican lunch sounds great!  Glad you enjoyed it.  Nancy, I knew your pic was from Arizona....I could see those mountains.  Don't have those around here.  And Cindy, if I didn't say so yesterday, one word for Phelps:  psycho.  People can really take religion to extremes.  In about 1986 a friend of a friend was shot to death at her job at the desk of an abortion clinic in Boston.  It was horrible.  Not that I'm pro abortion, but I am pro choice.  I can't recall, but the guy who did it may have been killed in jail.  It was very odd because I was having dinner on Beacon St. at Vinny Testa's in Brookline and all these ambulances, police cars were roaring by...who knew where they were going...

Rebecca - I don't think your post made it sound as if you think day care is wrong. Just wrong for you and there is nothing wrong with that!

Hi,

I'm at work, but sneaking in a few mins of reading. Lynn, I take Effexor XR 75 mgs and although I still have hot flashes, I feel good mentally!

I think I was so highly ER PR positive and how chemo shoved me into menopause, might be the reason they are still affecting me. Not as much as before, but maybe 8 times a day. That is great compared to every second. I never knew what I could wear day to day because just looking at clothes made me sweat. I still can't stand sweaters on me, but other long sleeve shirts are ok. Sometimes I just get plain chilled to the bone. Never am I just comfy. My boss says I should work for half my pay, because I spend half my time removing or putting on clothes!! Speak of the devil, better go!

Hi gals,

Caya I wish I could join you for dinner too. For some reason I feel totally wasted after my afternoon getting a MUGA. The nurse lied! They did not want to use my port, so I ended up getting stuck anyway. The tech was pretty good however, she got it in right away but could not get any blood back out so she had to pull little tricks on my arm for half an hour and finally got it to work. I was there about 2 hours total but it felt like a day. And since I have to be back at 9 am for a bone scan, she capped the IV and left it taped into my arm in the hope it will still work tomorrow. Criminy! Then Monday is my Herceptin day, Tuesday is the PET scan if it's approved and who knows what other things will crop up.



Not only that, it looks like I'm getting my own radio show once a week, starting Jan. 30. Non-paying of course but too much fun for me to pass up. It will be a small broadcast area but will have downloadable podcasts; I will send you all the name and such once everything is decided next week.



Rebecca, I followed much the same path you did. I had planned to return to teaching, but just couldn't leave DS1. Then it turned out he needed to be nursed for almost a year so I had no choice anyway. Then DS2 came along. We just made a choice to live a much simpler life for that duration and it worked out. But I've never judged anyone who did things differently; there are so many variables in everyone's life. But like you, Rebecca, I also always needed some outlet, and ended up working very part time at a library and an art gallery, and started other things that led to my present path.



Tina great news that an offer is forthcoming. In today's job market, I think this has come remarkably swiftly although I'm sure it felt like eons to you. I think there is much to be said for school uniforms...never any argument about what to wear, and then kids can just go nuts for parties and weekends. I bet Jac will end up liking it.



Nancy, your employer WISHES he could pay you for half time! :-)



Melia, I sometimes can't choke things out to people either. I think the reason is we are still internally processing all of this, so externalizing our illness and experience to others when we barely comprehend it ourselves is very difficult. The year may be over, but we aren't over it. At least I'm sure not. Please continue to keep us posted on DH. I still need to ask mine about that forum name, too.



I will try to remember chat tonight. Hasta la vista, Babes! - skye

with red kidney beans

Hi all,

Wow- I missed a lot of posts. I had a very busy but fun week. I worked on Tuesday and this morning, and I had my hercepton after work today. Wednesday I visited a friend off Cape for the day. Friday I have my MUGA scan. Tuesday we also went to the Boat Show. Our motor died and we have to replace it. We have a 17 foot Boston Whaler and I can’t believe it will cost around $8000-$10000 to replace the motor. Personally I would rather sell the boat as is, but Ed loves the boat and we did plan to tow it down to Florida when we go in April. We rented a condo with a marina for that purpose. I am not too happy about this added expense that I feel we cannot afford, but Ed is determined to replace it.



Caya,

I will be right over. LOL

Skye,

Your own show- Wow!!! That is so exciting!! Please do keep us posted.

I get my MUGA scan tomorrow. Good luck with your bone scan tomorrow. I am so glad they didn’t find anything on your cat scan and X-rays.

Tina,

That is great news about your DH’s prospects. I would love to move to Florida. I love the idea of uniforms- so much easier. The kids will get used to it.

Did you go to school in Boston? When did you leave?

Jan,

Sounds like your girls had fun in the snow. I am so glad your oncologist agrees that a PS needs years of experience doing Diep surgery. He is a very smart and wise man. It is great to get validation.

Things are just a poppin' around here. What a group of women!

Effexor - I'm on the 75 mg dose. I think it's helped my hot flashes quite a bit. And my mood definitely is good. I'm thankful that I've had it.

Tina, hope the offer makes the move very worthwhile. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Jan, we had about 4 inches overnight. The drive through Omaha this morning was a nightmare. You would have thought a foot of snow had dropped. Bleeccchhh! But the drive home was much better. It sure was pretty. I shoveled at 6:30 this AM and it was so quiet and peaceful out. A nice way to start the day.

Viddie, it must be one of those men and their toys things. Actually my ex was pretty good about not going overboard with men toys but my three male cousins are just insane with it. Between them they have a just ski, pontoon boat and ski boat. When one buys something, the other gets the adjunct item. It drives their wives crazy.

Tomorrow my workplace is belatedly ccelebrating National Hat Day. It's supposed to be on the 15th. I don't know if they waited for Friday or they forgot until it was too late to notify staff. They're encouraging everyone to wear a hat at work unless you have to go out of the facility. I've collected a stack of 8 - one for every hour. Some are from treatment. Some aren't. But I decided to entertain myself. Hopefully a couple of residents will smile when they see me in different hats. Baseball style, cowboy, sunhat, my Bob Dylan concert hat, felt hats....and the most outrageous, the furry black Elmer Fudd style with ear flaps. It should be fun.

Yumm, Mexican food. We'll have to scope out the best place for Mexican when we have our gathering.

Something that hit me today, a bizarre flashback to last winter when I was going through treatment. Part of my job is driving between the eight metro area hospitals to evaluate patients who've been referred for rehab - checking on equipment needs, doctors' orders, talking with the patients if they're available. As I drove this AM through the cruddy streets, I realized I totally missed winter last year.

My daughters drove me everywhere most of the time. I mostly stayed home. When I did go to work, I left my car at the  front door and a coworker would park my car for me and bring it back when I was ready to go home. I was in a chemofog and winter just really didn't register with me. It was such an odd feeling this morning to feel like I had been through some kind of time warp. It made me sad for some reason. But happy to be back in the thick of things. 

Gonna go see what the dogs are barking at.

Hugs to all,

Cindy 

Viddie, I graduated from Salem State College in 1998.

I started my chemo last thurs the 10th. So far the side effects are tolerable.

Skye, I had a bone scan right after I was first dx. I don't remember it as terrible but not exactly fun--and took a very long time. I think it was worse mentally than physically.

And about that tech making a comment---unless they have something positive to say, I wish they'd keep it to themselves. I think they are supposed to remain neutral although I've had some very chatty techs, and I analyze their every word or facial expression.

So glad you have a lot of distractions. That helps so much.

Okay all, have a great weekend. Maybe I'll use the three days off to catch up on posts.

XXOO Amera

Amera, thanks, it's good to see you posting again. I agree it was worse mentally than physically, especially since I didn't need an extra stick for it.



Nancy, you girls teach me something new every day. Beetlebaum is now in my vocabulary. I get frustrated during remodeling too when living in the mess. Right now our dismantled "wrecked room" has a door we can close off so I don't have to think about it or I'd go nuts.



Back to writing about shipwrecks. - Skye

Robbin, my massage therapist has done some things for lymph drainage the last few times since I told him that I had tightness under my arm on the surgery side. I only had the lumpectomy and 2 lymph nodes removed, but he doing preventative measures so I don't get any swelling. At first it seemed really strange. He said he was transferring the fluid to the "good" side. It must be working because the ring I wear on that hand is very loose, and so far there's no swelling.

Nancy and Skye, I'm going to add Beetlebaum to my vocabulary, too. I think I'm a permanent one. I hated those speed tests in Math during school, if I could go slowly and check my work I did fine.

It was cold and wet here, too. Nothing like those of you in the Northern climes, but plenty cold enough for us. It hovered in the mid 30s all day with a sort of drizzle to make it damp. I hope the precipitation drys up a bit before the temps drop over night.

Oh and, Skye, I remembered to set up the recording of that Monster Quest show. You are on it next Wednesday, right?

Everyone stay safe and warm this weekend.