God's Grace
When I got a chance to speak in front of the congregation of my church, I prayed and I read verses in the bible dealing with God's grace. But what I found that really shaped the direction of what I wanted to say was the dictionary. I looked up the word grace and read the definition:
a. The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
That was the definition in the dictionary but I got to thinking about how many different definitions there truly are. I came up with a few definitions that God has put in my own personal dictionary.
Receiving treatment for a life threatening disease despite the fact that I had no insurance and no money
My surgeon telling me that she is honored to help me and I would never have to worry about getting a bill from her
The surgery that removed the entire cancerous tumor in my breast
Waking up from surgery - 4 different times
My children
Being able to humble myself enough to let a friend help me shower after surgery when I was unable to do it myself
Friends taking care of all of the carpool duties to all of the girls' activities
My boyfriend
The chemotherapy that ensures that there are no cancer cells lurking in my body
Participating in the Race for the Cure and experiencing the overwhelming support of other survivors and co-survivors
My parents
A garage sale to raise money for the girls and me because my treatment left me too sick to work
Friends scrubbing my bathrooms, vacuuming my house, doing my laundry, cleaning my kitchen and mowing my lawn
Phone calls of encouragement when I wasn't sure I could hold the phone because I was so tired and ill from chemo treatments
Standing here breathing
Having someone come to my front door and say, "I don't know you but God wanted me to give this to you." And then hand me an envelope with money
Prayers, lots and lots of prayers
When I was looking really bad from chemo and standing in front of the mirror crying and saying how bad I looked only to have daughter tell me, "you just look like my mom"
The nurse who gave me chemo calling me just to see how I am doing even though I am not her patient anymore
Everyone in this church
A benign ovarian tumor
My youngest daughter choosing to follow Jesus and her baptism
While sitting in a waiting room to receive yet another treatment, the wife of another patient walking away from me to cry because she didn't want to upset me - having the strength to pray with her when she returned - her thanking me and telling me that I was her angel that day
Two dogs lying at my feet
Being able to minister to others while being completely taken care of by others
Being alive
The list could be much longer but I'm giving a testimony, not a sermon. All these things just reinforce the fact that God's grace is all around us and that He uses His earthly angels to help us. We should experience His grace in a manner that sustains us and carries us through this life into the next one. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I would have wished for something different but now that I am on this walk, I wouldn't trade it for anything. If it weren't for cancer, I wouldn't have been able to see so much of God's love and grace in others or in myself. I am undeserving, as we all are, but God has chosen to love us all unconditionally and I am appreciative of that now more than ever before. I can't say thank you enough to God and His angels here on earth.
I found a scripture verse that I think sums it all up for me.
Acts 20:24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
Comments
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I truely believe that God has a plan for all of us and He led me to your e-mail tonight (I needed it)! Thank you pmarsh34 and may God Bless You and all that have been touched by cancer in their life. I am so blessed to have come across the most sacred people in my journey with cancer. Be well every one!!! God Bless- Dunner1
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pmarsh34, I could sign my name to your letter because that is exactly how I feel. Perhaps some of the circumstances are different, I didn't have a stranger come to my door with money, but my church collected money and brought it. I do not feel that God gave me cancer, but He allowed me to get it for whatever reason. I will do my best to let everyone know how great God is and how much I have learned and how God carried me every step of the way on this journey. I have grown so much on this journey and it has changed me in so many positive ways. I hate that I had cancer but I am a better person because of it and for that I will always be thankful. And I give God every bit of the credit and glory. Thank you for your letter. Bonny
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What a wonderful faith you have. I am a newbie to this site, so if I blabber on too much, I am sorry. But you words were very touching. I am a 3 1/2 yr. survivor and I thank God everyday that I made it this far. I had Stage IIIA BC, did all the chemos and rads. I still see the surgeon and oncologist every 6 months, and I am scared each time I go. Doing the blood tests and mammo before hand just panics me. My left breast and 17 lymphnodes were removed way back then, and I am so afraid of a reoccurance or a secondary showing up. My Father passed away from lung cancer 9yrs. ago the 28th of this month. I always seemed to feel that he was with me during my treatments. I had mine at the same Treatment Center as he did. I believe in angels and I am positive they were with me through my ordeal. I thank God that by his grace I am still here for my children and grandchildren. Thank you for being here to listen to me.
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Thank you so much for your postings ....
I just did my own posting to my website on Caringbridge. If you don't know what Caringbridge is, it is a free website service where you can post your thoughts, feelings, etc. and your friends and family can leave you messages as well. My site is www.caringbridge.net/visit/laurieracine if you want to check it out.
Anyway, my posting yesterday was about God's grace --- As each new hurdle approaches me (diagnosis, surgery, pathology results, chemo, hairloss), I have been so fearful that I wouldn't be able to cope with any of them. I have found that God has calmed my fears and walked with me through each and every step. Even standing in the mirror counting my last few strands of hair on my head, I give thanks to God --- I never would have ever, ever thought that the loss of my hair wouldn't devastate me. I so totally believe that God has a plan for my life --- after all, I believe it was God that led me to find my lump in the first place by a self-breast examination (after having had mammograms and doctor's exams and they all missed it).
Anyway, your postings have uplifted me this morning which I really needed. I am heading to my second of four chemo treatments. I know I will be fine and I will get through it.
Thanks again. God bless each of you!
Laurie
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Beautiful. Many things to give thanks for, many blessings and gratitude is essential to our spirit and our well being. Thank you for sharing this.
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Can I get an Amen?
AMEN!!!!
Thank you all for your responses. I truly am grateful for every new day and if I can do something that makes one person's day more enjoyable than the last, it has been a good day.
Patti
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Patti, it is great to give glory to God for all that He has done for us. Amen!!
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Patti,
I LOVE THAT VERSE!!!!!!!!!!! That just sums it up for me. It's not that I have cancer, but let me raise my son into adulthood, so I can tell the world of YOUR compassion and mercy!
Wow, thank you
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pm, I am ridden with guilt today as I read your blessings. You're one very beautiful lady in every way. You're on my special prayer list, and ty for allowing me to see how lucky I am in life. Hugs (bad)
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all of you ladies are such a blessing to me. i just want to say happy thanksgiving to all of you and keep up the faith i do know god is truly our healer in every way.God bless you all. tasha
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Pmarsh34, i can't help the tears while reading your message. Your words are so encouraging. I've been diagnosed with an early form of breast cancer a couple weeks ago, and today my MRI results came back to confirm that it is extensive on my left breast. I'm grateful that it was detected at an early stage, but I'm very scared. My husband has been so positive and supportive, always reminding me that God's in control. At one point I asked "Lord, why me? What are you trying to tell me?". In your message I found, the answer is Acts 20:24. Thank you so much. You're a blessing to me. God bless you and strengthen you. ---Aurora
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I read this in September and got so much comfort from it then. I just happened on it again and again I'm reminded of how many times I have felt God's grace. Thank you Pmarsh. I hope and pray that you are well. God bless!
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lindao i read your wonderful testamoneyTonight dec 12you blessed my heart by the grace of god the cancer had a tingleing sensation god found it for me diagnosed 1-4-07 your story is so much like mine you will be ln my thoughts add prayers god bless you and merry chirstmas linda
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It is good to know that someone is receiving encouragment from my words. I have been blessed to be alive. I am now asking that God show me what is next in my life and where I am to go. I know he allowed the cancer to happen for a reason. I am praying that I can live up to what he wants from me.
Patti
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Patti,
Your words are beautiful and inspiring. It's so easy to look at what cancer takes but your words help me to look at what I have gained...
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hi,
i am a one year survivor, and i too, feel that God's grace sustained
me and my hubby through, i had a staff infection from the biopsy
and had lancings done, debrevement and so many kinds of antibiotics before the mastectomy and each day we both felt at such peace,
it is so amazing what a person can face and still have the peace of
God surround you, i was overdosed with chemo and was very ill, but all i wanted to do was make it up long enough each day to write in my prayer journal, God's grace is sufficient,,thank you so much for your comments,,i have been battling such faitgue here lately it,i am so glad i stumble on to this board,,love and prayers laurie (lbmt)
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I would like to add my testimony to this thread..
My name is Deloris and I am from Eagle Rock Missorui.
In August of 2007 I was planting flowers in the front flower beds and the flower bed is made from rounded bricks. I didnt know it then but and angel was about to save my life. Something happend and I fell on one of the rounded bricks right on my back, as I tried to get up I fell again on the sidewalk , again flat on my back. I crawled to the wishing well and got up and went inside. I knew I would be sore but after two weeks of being sore I went to the doctor and begged for pain pills. I was hurting so bad she wanted me to go to the hospital for test to make sure nothing was broken. I talked her into letting me wait two more weeks just knowing I would be ok. Well, after two more weeks I went back, I could walk in but I was in so much pain it was unbearable. She asked me how the pain felt and the only way I could describe it was it felt like when I got out of bed, I had pins and needles in my knee and then it was like someone light a lighter and set my leg on fire. I would get up in the morning and before I could get to my chair in the den I was crying and in so much pain. Doctor said ok it is time for you to get some test so she sent me to the hospital for a bone density scan, exrays and blood work. She called me three days later to come in to the office and I knew by the look on her face it was bad. She said the exrays showed a crushed vertabrae and inside the vertabrae a tumor was inside. So now I was sent to have an MRI and bone scan. Those test came back and then I was told I needed a biopsi on the tumor and it came back malignant. Also I had a CT scan and was told they saw spots on my breast and lungs and bones , I was petrified but now I had to get ready for radiation but since the tumor was so small I only had to have 11 treatments. when I went in for the first treatment I was wheeled into the room in a wheelchair. By this time to walk was torture, I even had to have a walker to get around and a shower chair so I could take a shower. During this time I put out emails to all my friends and family to add me to their prayer list and please pray for a miracle. after two weeks of radiation, I had no pain. But I could not eat or drink anything as I had this horrible taste and smell of metal from the radiation I suppose. I had lost 26 pounds in 2 weeks and was so dehydrated they sent me to the emergency room for IV fluids, I was so weak I had to be taken in by wheel chair. I called my pastor and his wife to come pray for me and we had such a sweet prayer and I felt a peace come over me like I had never felt before. I felt so good finally. On Dec 21 I had to have a pet scan and then two days later I went to my onocologist visit and he asked me how I was feeling. I told him I felt great and if he told me I had six months to live I would smack him.He said well I better not tell you that then huh. He smiled and said they cant figure it out but the pet scan showed nothing at all except a small lesion on my scalp. I knew then that God had given me one more miracle and I promised him if he gave me the miracle I would tell everyone about it. So that is my mission to let people know that God is still in the healing miracle making business. I had been dianosed in 1990 with incitu carcinoma early stage, had lumpectomy and 35 radiation treatments. then again in 2000 I was diagnosed with the same thing on the other breast and again 35 radiation treatments and went on my way. My doctor thinks that the tumor in my vertabrae is a metastisis from the BC from 2000. So now I will go back once a month for Zometa and I am on Arimidex and will have a bone scan every three months for awhile to keep on top of things. I just want to give God all the praise and Glory for all he has done for me. I guess he is not thru with me yet and has some purpose in life for me. I have started back to church again and I sing with a band there and I am loving life. Dont ever give up. When you think there is no hope just keep praying and if God is not ready for you yet he will perform his miracle.
Deloris
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Deloris, what a wonderful testimony. You are right when you say, "Dont ever give up. When you think there is no hope just keep praying and if God is not ready for you yet he will perform his miracle. "
Patti
Acts 20:24
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Hi Ladies:
I just wanted to say what an inspiration all of your testimonials are!! God's grace is abundant and you are right, Deloris, "God is still in the healing miracle making business." (I love that)!! And Dunner1, it was so good to see your post too because I remember you also from 2003 - I was diagnosed in May of 2003 and I believe you are from the 2003 group as well, right??? Anyway, what you wrote about believing that God has a plan for our lives, just reminded me of the verse from Jeremiah: "For I know the plans I have you you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." amen!!!!!
Thanks for letting me "chime-in."
Hugs,
Pat
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LADIES!
JUST WANT TO ADD THAT I AM NEW TO THIS SITE (HAVE BEEN ON ANOTHER MESSAGE BOARD FOR A LONG TIME AND GOT TIRED OF SOME OF THE POSTS - STILL THERE BUT NOT OFTEN)
LAST NIGHT I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THIS ONE AND CAME ACROSS THE THREAD FROM SOME ATHEISTS AND NON BELIEVERS AND SOME THAT ARE NOT SURE. I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO SEARCH FURTHER THEN BUT WONDERED WHERE THE BELIEVERS WERE.
JUST WANT TO SAY -- I AM GLAD I FOUND YOU. BEEN A BELIEVER FOR MANY YEARS AND I FOR ONE DO NOT SEE HOW ANYONE GETS THROUGH THIS WITHOUT THE LORD. THIS IS STILL A FREE COUNTRY AND GOD ALLOWS US A FREE WILL AND EVERYONE CAN BELIEVE WHAT THEY WANT -
THANKS LADIES - I WILL BE LOOKING FOR MORE FROM YOU AND I WANT TO SAY -- I AM FAMILIAR WITH GOD'S GRACE AND ALSO THE PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING.
GOD BLESS,
JOAN
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delorisann, your testimony means alot, thank you for sharing it
and believer, we will be praying for you as you start this journey
and pray that God fills you with grace and gives you strength
a few weeks ago i read a verse about "be not discouraged neither
be afraid, it brought me comfort, but i wondered was my cancer coming back, then this week i realize he was preparing me for something else, Gods grace does hold us up, and i feel so fortunate
to have found so many sisters in Christ, many hugs and prayers laurie
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Busy trying to regain some normalcy. Not sure what that means but still trying! I was amazed at how difficult it was for me to end treatment. I really somewhere in my head thought that I was going to just move on, go get a new job, and get back to life. What was I thinking? lol What I have found is that life is so very different that it doesn't really resemble what it used to be except for the people that still surround me. I have been spending my time taking new found friends back and forth to treatments, etc. The first time I sat in the chemo suite on the 'visitor' chair, it was really wierd. I figured out that I can't wash my hands there because the smell of the handsoap makes me nauseaus. Talk about a lasting side effect!!! I also am hosting a fundraiser at my church the end of this month. We are doing a fellowship dinner and both a live and silent auction. The entire church is involved. The youth are going to serve dinner and auction themselves off. The senior adults are going to make all the pink themed desserts. It is called Prayers in Pink and everything including the food is going to be donated so the very first dollar goes to help someone who is fighting this icky disease. If ya'all want to come to raleigh, it's May 28th from 5:30-8:30 pm @ http://www.mbcnc.org/. I would love to do a survivor recognition so anyone close by, come on!!! Send me an email if you want to be recognized. thethreemarshalls@netzero.net
I don't come on the site very often anymore but I pray for all of us and our struggles and triumphs.
In Love,
Patti
Acts 20:24 -
god's grace, comes to mean more and more to me
expectly after the cancer, i look around and see all the
pain and hurting, and there are so many like all of
us, that come out of it loving the Lord even more, and knowing we are better
because of what we have been thru,
love to all, laurie
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Ladies,
Thanks so much for posting your kind words and awesome stories of God's grace and love. I THANK Him and Praise Him every day. He is awesome, and He is the only way to go.
Love
Bobbie
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THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY....I, for one...now doing my best with GOD's WILL in my life..to this journey.....
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