Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Oh, Melia, I feel bad for Steve.  I hope he does go to work for a while.  I think that's one of the best ways for guys to lose themselves for awhile.  (unfortunately)

Well, to sum up my pre cancer years, my FIL tried to portray the good guy, the Robin Hood, taking from us (the rich) to feed the poor (them).  He made me out to be this selfish, out for myself bit*h.  He wrote to me in an email that he hoped that me or my family never had any problems because we only help ourselves.  ???  He barely knows my family.  (He also told me his son would "help" him any time he wanted and I had no say in it, which translated to he'd stick his hand in my DH's wallet whenever he wanted.  By this time, we'd already spent over $10K for the various, ongoing dramas.)  The DH bought into his schtick because as he'd discuss his financial woes, he'd weave in all the legitimate health concern stuff about his dying mother.  The DH couldn't see the forest for the trees.  I could. 

Hi Gals,

Tina I didn't check posts til after you had deleted some of yours, but I deduce that in-law problems are rearing their ugly heads. Don't we get a red card to avoid all that for at least another year? I'm really sorry you have those things going on when your plate is so full anyway.



Rebecca, you are a very creative decorator. Paint can be such a fun thing. I remember when my boys were about Owen's age they had the "Empire Strikes Back" Star Wars decor. Curtains, bedding, and walls painted blue to match. We still have all the twin sheets! It's a fond memory for them, so I'm sure Owen is going to remember his "space" bedroom too.



Joni, I had a similar family life...six younger siblings, a cousin and my grandma, and only one bathroom. Add assorted cats, dogs and even a pet squirrel and it was hectic. We all had marble bags too, and played for keepers on the asphalt at school. That makes me sound really old, but it was a very small town, not much else to do!



Caya, the shoes!!! Do you keep them all from year to year or are you good at weeding out old ones? Yes a tough job indeed! :-) So can you tell us the biggest trend for spring?



I spent yesterday in bed not feeling very well and cosseting my back which had begun to hurt, and got a lot of writing done. I still am not feeling great today, feels like minor flu or something, but I went to church anyway because I wanted to be there. I was just sneaking out the door when a very sweet lady stopped and asked me how I was, and more specific questions, so I ended up telling her the latest and ended up getting all teary, just what I didn't want to do. I'm frightened I guess, can't help it. I think it will be better when I know what it is and can just deal with it. Maybe the CT scan and x-rays tomorrow will yield some immediate results.



Grendel caused some commotion today, he was playing with DS on the white berber in the living room and must have had an accident before DS noticed, and it got stepped in and ground into the rug in about eight places. DS received a very good lesson in how to clean up dog doo and the puppy has been exiled to hard surfaces for a while. DS is also taking Grendel to his grooming appointment tomorrow while I go have my tests. I'm lucky to have the help!



Anyway, hope you each have a very good week, and I'll keep you all posted. - skye

LOL, atiman on the "menu". 

Quiet day here today except for my rambling online about my pre cancer issues.  Skye, I was filling everyone in on what I was dealing with, with the IL's, in the couple of years prior to my dx.  Not new or current issues, thank God.

Sorry your back is bugging you and who cares if you filled up at church.  Whatever.  We are entitled to that.  It's great stress relief.  Glad you got some writing done.

Caya, can you still stand heels?  I can barely...only lower ones, mainly because I haven't worn them in years.  Once you stop, it's hard to get back into them.

Caya, my breast surgeon appt is tom so I'll be thinking of you on Tues.  Unfortunately I am out of antiman.  I have a couple of sleeping pills yet, might ask for a refill on those -but from which dr?  I don't see my chemo dr until March, I think he's the one who gave me those.  I should see my regular gp in Feb for an asthma recheck.  My leg has been killing me ever since I started jogging again.  I should have that checked too but unless the dr is a sports person not sure they will know what to do.  I have tried cycling differently to favor that leg. 

Tina, sounds like you are having a bad day from all of the deletes, hope things have resolved.  What exactly will you do at cardiac rehab? 

Skye, thinking of you with your tests, and Melia with your DH's tests.

Caya, I envy your shoes.  I have about 6 pair of shoes - total - no kidding, I just can never justify spending money on that.  I'm glad for you that some people do!  Too bad you are a size 8!

My son's future MIL invited me to go to a bridal show with her in March.  Wow, I will really have to practice "wearing beige and keeping quiet."  This should be an interesting wedding to plan since both the bride and groom are out of town and very busy.  Joni, I'm glad you have your niece's wedding to look forward to.  I am not creative so I have no ideas on invites.  I have not seen either movie, too bad we can't have a movie night together.  Hugs.

Melia, I forgot to also wish your DH good luck on his tests. My DH did not let me go with him to any tests, meetings, or conferences and made all the decisions on his own; I finally insisted I go to at least meet the surgeon before his surgery but that was the only time, and even then had to wait in the reception room. He regrets that now, especially after going through my ordeal and seeing the difference it makes to have support. Hopefully your DH will not need any treatment.



Caya I'm going to Zappos to look at those shoes. I'm going to need some mother of groom shoes, after all.



Mary it's neat you got invited to the Bridal Expo. I bought a dress I found on sale already, navy blue semi-sheer with a layered skirt higher at the knees and sparkly beads around the top. Now I just have to wait and hope the bride's mother doesn't pick navy. If she does I'll just get something else since this one wasn't much of an investment. I don't want to be the bad MOG. :-) skye

So, Mel you have big doings this week too.  That's four this month...Mel, Joni, Skye and Jan.  Keep us all posted.  Glad you got to the gym

Mary, I didn't have a bad weekend.  I was just gossiping about IL's and decided it's best to delete.  Really, I shouldn't type anything at all if I feel it needs deletion.  But.....   nobody's perfect.    I was just giving a little pre-dx history of the stress level in this house.

Got the ornaments off the tree yesterday.  What a chore.  I think I need to lose even more of that stuff.  Hoping this coffee kicks in and I get motivated.  Slept just OK as the kids and I watched ghost stories on Discovery channel and all slept in my bed (DH is away) and they are such bed hogs.  Ended up in my daughters bed at 4 am.  Cold and gloomy here again.  Light snow on the ground.

Paul's chin is absolutely solid black from that fall this weekend.  Looks awful.  Jaclyn is claiming she has a sore arm and wants to go to the dr., but in the last week she's been overly fascinated w/a cast on a boys arm in her class and all the attention he's received.

I've got two people coming over this week (when the DH is home) to look at the 3 slot machines we are selling in the basement.  Hope they move.  I want all heavy stuff out of here.

I'm the CCD (now called PSR) carpool lady today so that's about it on my agenda.  DH is on the big ship today.  I'll be dying to hear what he says.  TTYL All!

Hi Ta Ta's,

I haven't posted lately and have been trying to keep up.  I've been in a weird place the past week or so...kind of lost.  I only have 1 more week and then I have to go back to work, I have mixed emotions about that.  Seems that I really didn't get much done on my leave from work...guess I figured I'd get everything done that has been on hold and I'd go back to work feeling caught up...NOT!  I thought I'd be sitting around twiddling my thumbs and bored out of my mind, not realizing how tired and how much rest I would need while recovering from the surgery.  I did manage to get a few things done, but not close to what I had hoped.  This week I am definetly cleaning my office/desk at home so I can start work feeling good about that.

I got out of the house for the first time (other than short trip to the mall and Dr. appts) on Saturday.  I went to lunch with a friend from work, then another friend stopped by that afternoon to say hello.  That night we went out for the Patriots game, I just had to get out of the house.  We had a really good time and the Pats won! woo hoo!  We went to my mom's new place for lunch yesterday and then I spent the rest of the day on the couch sleeping.  I just can't wait for this fatigue to go away.

Another weird thing is that before my surgery, my hot flashes had pretty much subsided to very light that I didn't even notice them.  Then I went off of the Tamoxifen while in the hospital.  Now the hot flashes are back with a vengence...what's up with that?  They wake me up all night...also I have night sweats that I never had before.  I have an appt. w/ my Onc this afternoon, I'll ask him about that.

Viddie, they told me to take my tamoxifen until the day before surgery and not to take it the day of surgery.  Then when I asked Dr. Lee the next day, he said not to take it while I'm in the hospital and to start taking it when I got home.

Skye, thinking of you as you get your scans today! Hugs!

Caya, I think most women in the modern world would enjoy your job! I usually like to buy shoes when I'm blue...maybe I'll do that this week.  One of the things I did get done was to clean out my closet and organize my shoes.  I had WAY too many pairs, many of which I haven't worn in a few years.  Now my closet is clean and my shoes are all back on the shelves.

Melia, good luck to your DH on his tests...hopefully it's a false positive!

Joni, thanks for sending the pic, it did cheer me up!

Tina, bunch of deleted messages, hope things are ok with you.

Mel, Caya and Mary, good luck with your scans/appts...and anyone else I missed.

We had about a foot of snow last night, sure is beautiful outside!

love and hugs,

Lynn

Lynn,

It is good hearing from you. I got a little concerned. Feeling tired and worn out is totally normal. It does take a while, but before you know it, it will happen and you will gain all your strength back. It seems to happen overnight. Right now, your body is telling you to rest for a good reason.

Are you happy with the results so far? I think we made a very good choice using Dr. Lee. Thanks again for recommending him.



On the Breast construction board someone posted a site that shows a video of the Diep surgery. It is an hour long, but I was mesmerized. I have an even deeper admiration for these ps’s. They must have very adept skills to pull this off. I thought the video was extremely informative and very well done. Jan, I am not sure you would want to see it before the surgery though. It is the real thing and it does get kind of gory at times.



Rebecca,

Thinking of Owen’s space theme, I remembered a good story. When my ds, Jonathan, was young he wanted to put glow in the dark star stickers on his bedroom ceiling. I told him that if he put them up using the constellations, I would let him. Big mistake!!!!

He did and had resented it ever since. I was half serious and didn’t think he would take me up on it. He tells me now that it was a major project at such a young age. I was a mean mamma!!!

The educational aspect was resented. Oh well.

Recently I have asked him to take them down so we can paint the ceiling. That’s when all this stuff came out. Oops!!!

I do not know how we are going to take all of them down. I wouldn’t suggest ever putting stickers on ceilings. I learned the hard way.

Tina,

I hope Paul and Jaclyn are feeling better. You too. I am glad you shared your past with us- it helps to get things out. I hope Dh’s meeting was successful. Keep us posted.

Skye - well, 2 sticks isn't too terrible - but yes, they never learn.  And why aren't these people trained properly in the first place - I mean is this unreasonable to ask?  OY!!

Well at least you had some tests today and the onc. is going to take action for your PET himself... also good that he thinks it could still be benign - B9 B9 is my mantra this week for everyone - including Melia's DH Steve.

I have my breast surgeon appointment at 1:30 tomorrow, and then Cassie are I are going back to the bridal salon to look over the correct bridesmaid dresses this time. I better get good news with my BS tomorrow, it will be hard to hide anything bad from Cass.

OMG - how does that puppy keep getting cuter?

Mary - sorry you had a monday!

Melia- you ok? When will you get the results?

I'm off for pre-surgery lab work in the morning. It's starting to seem like this surgery is finally really going to happen. I'm simultaneously excited and terrifed. I snapped at my kids all through bedtime tonight - I never do that - I felt horrible and then read them a full chapter from their new book even though they should have been asleep already. It's making me crazy to think that DH and I will both be away from them for a full week. I'm so stressed! 

Skye - good luck with the PET scan debacle. I'm glad to hear that your onc is annoyed too. Maybe he will make some progress.

I was laughing this morning reading the shoe posts. I got a kick out of how many of us have SMALL shoe collections. I thought it was just me! The only time I get excited about shoes is when I find a great pair of flip-flops in the summer or a new pair of running shoes. When I recover from surgery I'm going to get myself a pair of trail-running shoes. I've learned how to manage high heels, but I prefer to avoid them whenever possible.

My little brother and my SIL are running a half-marathon in Feb. for breast cancer research. I'm so proud of them! 

Grendel is too cute Skye.

Girls, you will all have to try Van Eli shoes - they are stylish, comfortable and pretty reasonably priced - leather uppers and soles mostly - avaiable in many sizes and widths. For you mother of the bride ladies - Mary and Skye - look at the evening shoe collection.  If you like a closed in pump, I highly recommend the style RENNET - it is gorgeous - and it comes in Navy Satin Skye. (oh this is the salewoman in me obsessing a bit). 

Oh my sister's, how is everyone? I haven't had much to report. Sounds like everyone is keeping up with appts and work. Jan, will be thinking of you. Viddie, I watched the Diep video. I could not do that, That looked so painful! I started feeling queasy, then thanked God for people who can do that work without fainting. Without them, we'd be in big trouble!! 

Skye!! Isn't it funny how they come back from the first haircut so different. They go in looking like a baby and come out looking like a toddler! I showed Jeff his pics, he told me to tell you he loves his colors and is sending Lizzie to you for pups. LOL! We could be gramma's together.  I hope you hear something very very soon on the scans.

Melia, I teared up at your sweet feelings of your DH. I will pray very hard for good news!

Mel, Glad your hubby is home, that is so hard when they are gone. I hate it when Jeff is gone. The first 2 days I can't sleep!

Tina, hate to lose you from Ohio, but if you move elsewhere, I guess I'll understand....LOL. I hope someday to leave here myself.

I told Jeff yesterday, it was so gloomy I wanted to scratch my eyes out! I hate winter!!!  I need life, warmth, singing birds, glowing sunshine. Calgone take me away!!!! Hmmm, do they still make that stuff? Better yet, can you still get Mr. Bubble? Wasn't there something on that stuff, kids got UTI's or something? I can't remember. Also, does anyone remember a soap that grew fuzz and had a prize inside? Fuzzywuzzy or something?  What was that fuzz, mold? HA. Oh How did I get on this! Oh yeah....the winter blahs! Looking forward to Am. Idol starting because when it's over IT"S SPRINGTIME!!! That's my harbinger of spring..American Idol.

Talk later

Goodnite all

Oh, Viddie, so worrying about your daugthers in high heels doesn't go away?  I try to never buy Jaclyn wedgie sandals because I'm so afraid of that.  I bet I'll still be panicking when she's 16! 

Nancy, great new avatar!  Lots of hair there and you look very happy.

Just sold my 3 slot machines on Craig's list.  Also, a Lane cedar chest.  I'm cleanin' out!  Trying to talk the DH into putting this house officially on the market.

Melia, glad Steve got through the biopsy...  sounds unpleasant.  My father had the nerve sparing surgery as well.  Done by a top guy at Dana Farber/Brigham & Women's in Boston.  He was 59 when it happened and he's 68 now.  (Yikes!  Is that right?  He was born 9/39.)

Getting ready to be absent from my life for the 2 weeks I'll be in SC is proving to be even more difficult than I imagined!

I'm running around like a maniac trying to get all of the loose ends tied up at work. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get everything in my house in order so things will go smoothly for my mom. I've made a list of important phone numbers for her, written instructions to decypher the complex school schedules taped to my fridge, written permission letters, organized car pools, paid all of the bills for the next month, arranged for my brother to walk the dogs, cleaned the house, and done a ton of laundry. Major grocery shopping will be on the agenda this weekend. I'm sure I'll forget something important.

To answer someone's question - I have left the kids for a week before many times for business trips.  But I've always left them with my DH. This is different b/c DH and I have never been away from them at the same time. My mom is wonderful, but she has a track record of not being the most watchful in terms of supervising the girls.  Rationally I know it will be ok, but....