Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Hi, ladies.

Well, I've finally done it. Finally put away Christmas. Yikes, what a hassle. It's good to see the usual, normal house reappear. I still have to sweep, vacuum  and dust but that will have to wait. It plumb tuckered me out hauling the boxes around and such. That was enough of a workout for me.

Debbie, you look great!

Mary, sorry about your SIL. There are some people that make their own drama where none was intended. She may be one.

Jan, last week I saw a little girl with a scarf. I wanted to go talk to her but wasn't sure what her parents would think. I said a lot of prayers for her! 

Joni, hope you can rest tonight. When you're in bed, use some visualization. As you breath in through your nose, picture the air a cool blue. Breath out through your mouth - red. In with the cool, out with the hot. Use some of those Lamaze techniques about muscle relaxation as you're breathing. We'll be with you tomorrow.

Sharon, your words about being sisters holding hands in a loving circle made me teary. As much as our families try, you don't know until you've walked the path, huh? Y'all have been FINE traveling companions.

Tomorrow at work I will make an official request for time off in July for our gathering. I'm asking for the 24-25,  Thursday and Friday off. I'm starting with making sure I have the time off. Then I'll work on plane tickets. I'm grinning as I write this paragraph!

Hope the week is comfortable for everyone. Minimal stress. Lots of hugs. Prompt attention and quick results from the doctors as needed! 

love to all,

Cindy 

Cindy and Tina, just saw your posts when mine landed on the next page. Tina, you SO deserve the red card treatment. Wouldn't it be nice if we all could get red cards for everything?

Cindy, I've been working on putting Christmas back in the basement too. Everything is done but the tree. And I'm grinning at the thought of seeing you in Vegas! - Skye

Mary - I think you answered your own question when you said "I really don't think I can have much of a relationship with her as volatile as she is." I'm usually of the train of thought that people control their own reactions (or can if they so choose). The kind of situation you described sounds like more of her problem than yours. However, I suppose it would be nice for you to try to make her feel better. But you certainly shouldn't waste ANY of your time feeling guilty. If she took that comment the wrong way maybe it's because SHE feels guilty. Hopefully, like Melia said, you can focus more on your nephew.

Melia - I am very active in a local group of bc survivors. It's sort of a support group - but not in the traditional way - more of a way for survivors to spend time together socially and just talk/ask questions. It a fairly young and very positive group. Anyway, I feel like I'm in a cult because I'm always meeting women in chemo and dragging them to meetings. They keep coming back, so I guess it's OK I was exhausted from climbing today and therefore forgot to mention my cult to the lady at the park. Just as well - she was happy with seeing the hair.

Good luck in court. I hope it goes well and that you are able to get conservatorship. I have a trick an old friend taught me for nervousness. She used to swear that FBI agents used it when they had to testify in criminal cases (BTW - she was mostly full of s*#t so I doubt that part is true). Anyway, the trick is to press the tip of your thumb and middle finger together (on each hand). I guess it's a pressure point. I do think it works for minor nervousness. Some good breathing exercises work too.

Lynn & Viddie - I am insanely jealous that you had lunch together. Lynn I am excited to hear that you are cleared for driving and that you are happy with your results.

Tina - LOL at your DD's comment about your heart or cancer! No need to feel guilty about the red card. I think we've all earned a little pampering and we may as well enjoy it in whatever form it is given to us.

Cindy - It's funny you mentioned the little girl you saw. I've had the same experience and been too uncertain to say something. I have NO problem approaching an adult - but I don't think it would be the same with a child. I think a child's diagnosis and problems dealing with chemo would be so different from an adult's that I'm not sure what I would say.

On retirement savings - I figure we are still saving same as always. If I don't need it then my kids will get an inheritance. Since I'm spending a fortune on private school for them that's the only way they will get an inheritance at this rate. Seriously, either way I think it's worth saving.

Skye - if you have a cell phone just give that number to your doctor's office and ask them to call you on your cell. I've done that for all of my doctors (they have both numbers) so that I don't miss their calls.

Joni - (again) good luck tomorrow!!!! 

Good night everyone. 

Hello all,

Mary, my advice to you is to phone her and say "Your sorry".  It's always the bigger person that apologizes, and then this takes any guilt away from you.  Her dating a month after her husband died indicates to me that she has probably huge insecurity problems.  Another big sign is she can't take any jokes.

It's bad for your own health to hold onto somethings that bothers you.  After you apologize the ball is in her court, and your conscious is clear.  

I would make sure my contact with her was limited in the future.  We don't need any toxic people in our lives.

Lynn, glad to hear everything is going okay with your surgery, but like I asked Viddie, are they perky???

The Canadian Junior hockey team won the Gold medal yesterday in Czechoslovkia, and my neighbour's young son played really well.  They even mentioned Chestermere on the TV....yeah!!!...we made the big time.  Anyways his name is Zach Boychuk, and he's a really good kid.  I've know his Dad since Grade 9, and him and his wife are really lovely people.   When they found out I had BC, they brought me over the most lovely potted plant, as they know I love plants and gardening. 

Jan, that was so nice of you.  I know whenever I met someone at the Cancer clinic, it felt easier talking to a total stranger than to my own family, as they were dealing with the same thing.  Hope you guys keep in contact.

Tina, how did your DH's interviews go?

Melia, hope you get out of the doldrums.  I find the best thing for me is to go out for a walk when I get down, and I've been doing that even with a sore hip.  The fresh air for me stimulates better feelings.

Mel, meant to tell you, we used quite a bit of the Lemon flavored Old Bay around Christmas.  That was so nice of you.

Robbin Jaye, are you reading our notes...if so, check in.

Sharon, good hearing from you.  Keep me posted when you are coming out West.

Oh, I booked my flight yesterday to go to Phoenix for a week.  My oldest sister is a snowbird and lives in Phoenix for 3 or 4 months each winter.  They have a lovely condo with two bedrooms and a nice pool.  I'm going Mar 3 to Mar 10.  Darling Dan has to stay home to look after Thor & RC. haha.

Better get to bed. 

Hugs to you all,  Joni

Mary-ditto on the the toxic SIL comments.  Not sure what I need to add to what everyone else said except to send you a hug and assure you that it is NOT YOU…it is HER.  She would be lucky to have a relationship with someone as lovely as you, and if she want to be a b*&%$ and alienate you then it is her loss.  If you would feel better after apologizing, then do it, but I do not think it is necessary….and quite honestly with a person like that it is more likely to create additional stress and strife than to smooth things over.

Tina that is awesome about the red card…bet you could get a pretty penny for something like that on ebay LOL!  I am sure that it made your Disney trip much more enjoyable…those lines are dreadful even when you are 100% healthy.

Cindy congrats on putting away Christmas!  What a job.

Debbie you look lovely, and I love how happy you look amid all your new treasures! 

Skye I agree with caya, I bet the pain you felt yesterday was probably psychosomatic…if you are super-aware of  a specific part of your body it seems to get bigger somehow doesn’t it?  Before the wedding I was super-aware of my radiation tattoo right in the center of my cleavage.  When I looked in the mirror, it was a shining beacon…how could anybody NOT notice that I have a blue dot on my chest? Well, I do not think anyone saw it.

Nice to hear from you Nancy!  Glad you had fun with your project…I love doing things like that with my DH.

Melia, that you have to go to court to “win the right” to care for your own father is just a dreadful comment on this country.  Absolutely shameful.  I hope that it goes well, and the judge acts in a sane matter.  Keep  us posted.

Just thinking about Joni and Skye and doing a bit of fretting......

waiting for an update! 

Skye,

I love your artwork. So whimsical!! You are so talented.

Drat those insurance companies!!- Hopefully you can make the appointments tomorrow.

Skye - glad you're feeling better.  And yes you are very talented.  I can barely draw a straight line. Hopefully you'll get appointments this week.

Joni -  yes it is cruel.  The waiting is terrible.  I'm taking this as a good sign and will keep my fingers and toes crossed.

xoxo Caya

Oy Joni I am sure that my fretting does not hold a candle to yours.  It is so cruel that Drs are so casual about things like this.  In our modern day, the technical aspects of care are wonderful, but something has truly been lost...the art of the bedside manner.

Skye I love the detail on your art!  What materials do you use?  That almost looks like a collage.  so colorful and dynamic.

Ok, I managed to lay hands on some pictures of myself at the wedding...obviously I did not have any in my own camera, so I had to go begging.  They are not very good quality (kind of dark) but they are ok.  so here I am....

This first picture was taken after I had my hair done, but before I had my makeup put on. 

Here I am standing with the lovely bride

And this is just me with a rather surprised expression on my face...or maybe it was just the fact that the makeup artist yanked out about half my eyebrow hairs (ouch!)

DAMN!! Joni, I cannot BELIEVE they didn't call you today. I'd have been on the phone to them demanding results - you know they have them. I'm sure they are busy, esp. since your onc. has been out of the office, and they are probably catching up on a lot of things, but that is no reason to make you wait. Call them early in the AM - you shouldn't have to wait and worry. Oh, I just re-read what you wrote, and I see you did call them. Don't know what else you can do, just keep calling.

Skye, unfortunately, I am not so surprised at your delay. Your insurance co. seems to have a history of delaying things...but again, I'd be on the phone with the onc.'s office in the morning to remind them to check again - someone has to keep the pressure on them. I get so angry every time one of us has to wait needlessly for a needed test just because of that kind of nonsense. I hate it - I want you checked out NOW, not next week.

Ok, sorry - I'll try to lighten up. Debbie, I liked your pictures - I think I forgot to say anything yesterday, but appreciate you putting photos up so we can visualize you. Joni, I also love your new avatar, in case I forgot to say that, too. Everyone is looking really good - we are going to have some kick-ass group photos, come July!

Skye, I absolutely love your artwork! You really have a gift, and I love it that it's not like anything else. It's you, and it's great. I'd love to see more.

Tina, I hope you had a safe trip home. It doesn't sound like you are feeling very positive about the move to Florida - maybe Nashville will look better to you. I know FL is familiar territory and would be easier in many ways, but if the job isn't secure, and you aren't happy with where you can afford to live, it might be that you guys are supposed to be somewhere else for the next chapter. Not knowing is stressful, and I wish a quick end to that phase of it for you. We all know you can adapt and make the best of wherever you go, and somewhere is going to be really lucky to have you!

Jan, your friend will be welcome here with her questions, but of course you know that. I told a friend of mine that she should also chime in here, but she never did.

My alone time is going well, so far, although I had an extremely busy day. I did take time out to have lunch with my friend Nancy, which was great, but otherwise, it was non-stop all day long. Lots of things to do besides three Harrison walks and a trip to the vet. Fortunately, our pet sitter agreed to come over and walk Harrison while she walked her own dog, so I'm off the hook for the latest evening walk, at least. I still have to get up at 3:00 to see if I can get him out that early in the morning, though. Not sure if that'll fly...Harrison has a strong greyhound component to his personality, and that part of him wants to sleep till noon. I'm feeling not too bad this week, just the pain issues. I really think I'm better the more I exercise...but don't know how I can get much exercise in this week. Walking H. is not exercise, due to too much stopping to smell the roses.

Rebecca, I just refreshed the page one last time, and I'm so glad I did - LOVE your pictures! You look wonderful. Really gorgeous! The hair is great, makeup looks good, it's all good - and a different side of you than what we've seen before. Thanks so much for posting them.

Skye, your artwork is so striking and wonderful!  I am praying for good results, and am very exasperated at the difficulties you encounter with your insurance.

Joni, keep us posted.

Rebecca, you are so lovely. I see where your kids get at least some of their beauty!

Mel, where is your pain?  I find that I am achy and stiff until I get moving; in fact, yesterday I had to keep telling myself to stand up straight. Is yours more than chemo induced stiffness?  What does your dr say?

Tina, hope you are home safely. Everyone else, thanks for your sympathy re my dad's situation. I fly up north after work today, and the hearing is in the morning. I keep reminding myself that I will spend the night tonite at my daughter's, I will see my brother and my son tomorrow, that it's not all bad. But I am absolutely dreading the hearing, abhor dealing with all the small minded, judgemental county workers, and am not sure how it will all turn out. Then Thursday I have a rather grueling business event. I will be home Thursday evening, and cannot wait.

You will all be in my thoughts, especially those of you who aren't feeling well. Hopefully by the weekend we will have positive results from all that we are going thru this week.

Hugs to all of you. Thanks for being there.

Melia

Wow skye...that artwork is even more gorgeous when you see the whole thing.  I particularly love the chicken in a pot....were you trying to make chicken soup for yourself?

Melia, that truly is a terrible mess, and you have my complete sympathy.  I think that you SHOULD tell them about the cancer, because that would explain why you were unable to contest the first time....had you been in perfect health and had the emotional resources to do so I am confident you would have fought for your father's welfare, even as you are doing now.  I wish you luck, and I am confident that the court will award you control of your father's destiny.  Hang in there...and remember that we are all holding your hand no matter what...even in things that do not have to do with BC.

Hi all,

Rebecca,

You look gorgeous! I love the dress and the way it fits you perfectly.

Skye,

Your artwork amazes me. You do have a gift.

I bet you are right and it is an arachnoid cyst. That would be great. I am keeping my hands crossed.

Joni,

Keep us posted.

Mel,

I have had back problems caused by a herniated disc. I had steroid injections twice- two years apart, and both times they helped tremendously. Physical therapy and walking also helped keep it from returning. Have you asked if you are eligible for a steroid injection? They can work miracles. Pack pain is very unnerving. I hope you can get some relief.

Melia,

This sounds like a story you would hear in another country or in George Orwell’s “1984.” How unfair and unjust. Elders rights should not be discounted- if he did not want to go in a nursing home and his family agreed, the Govt had no right, in my opinion. How could he not deteriate in a govt run nursing home? Don’t get me started on politics!!!! Good luck tomorrow. I hope you get the positive outcome you and your father deserve.

Tina,

That is so annoying!!! I feel so bad for Jaclyn. Grrrrrr!!! Paul is a gem! It is so great they get along so well. You never know- some good-hearted soul might find it and turn it in. Let’s hope!



I am working at a WW meeting tonight. I have only worked at a few meetings since last year, but January is the busiest month, so I will give it a try- as long as I do not have to lift anything too heavy. I have had back problems before- do to lifting things there. We have to set up 100 chairs each meeting and break down after the meetings. We also have to move all our material including scales out of the closet every meeting and put everything back at the end of the meeting. Manual labor that is not good for the back. I love working there, just not that aspect of it. They all know I injured my back lifting a scale a few years ago, so they are very understanding, but they are all in the same position as me, and it is unfair for any of us to set up or break down.

Last time I hurt my back, it was horrible and I was out of work for weeks. Even though they all understand, I still feel bad for not helping out more. It is only a matter of time before they also injure their backs. WW does not care and refuses to hire anyone to help us. When an order comes in- usually 15-20 very heavy boxes at a time-we have to bring them in and empty them. We should protest!! OK- enough complaining.

Time for lunch!!



Viddie