Starting Chemo in May 07

Oh Virginia, you look adorable!  I'd be ecstatic if my hair looked like yours.  And congrats and happy anniversary (?) on getting through the year!

I appreciate everyone's assurances about the radiation.  I think all of you had lumpectomies though right?  I'm in a bit of a difficult situation because of the mastectomy and reconstruction.  I could lose my implant and need a more serious surgery and I also believe that I have more of a chance of heart damage due to having no breast tissue.  I just wanted you to understand why I took the decision so much to heart.  I wouldn't worry too much otherwise.  But I DO appreciate the positive feedback from y'all.   

I understand your trepdidation, Liz.  I was really worried about heart damage, too.  My lump was right at the bottom of my breast and immediately adjacent to my chest muscle (which is why I had such a narrow deep margin).  I went through quite a bit of stress about it!  And I do understand the worry about your implant.  As with so much of this we learn whatever we can and then push on because we have to.

Hi, girls!  Cindy - You asked when I finished chemo...it was the end of August as you.  My hair is actually almost 1 1/2-2 inches long now.  I'm thinking it's because I'm taking Biotin twice a day and use Nioxin cleanser and scalp treatment religiously.  Hang in there...yours will start growing fast soon I'm sure!

Virginia - Your hair's great!  Mine seems curlier.  I had board-straight before, so this is a challenge.  I dyed it lt. brown and plan to put some blonde highlights in it tomorrow (myself).  I got a haircut (mainly a shape).  She trimmed off the baby-fine stuff, trimmed a lot in back, and cut around the ears.  Now the rest can catch up.  It looks much better.  She sold me a wax-stuff...use a little in my hand and use it to shape it...it holds pretty good.

Liz - I also had bilateral mast.  I asked my radiation doctor about reports I read about problems with rads and your heart and lungs.  He said that the machine is very new and it goes around the shape of your body.  None of the radiation goes into your heart or lungs, just the chest wall, skin, etc.  He said most hospitals have this newer machine nowadays.  One day I watched it and you can see it moving as the treatment is being given...it moves so more radiation is concentrated where you had the cancer.  He said most reading materials are just behind time.  Also, I had no problems with rads and I have tissue expanders in.  They said they might shrink, but they didn't.  I also had more energy during this time...I was almost hyper!  Another friend said rads affected her that way also.  Don't worry too much...I bet you'll have no problems at all.  I simply got a dark tan in the area...which is now fading.

Traci - How is your sister doing after her trans flap surgery?  Everything still OK?  I still have to get my Christmas decos down.  Why are you thinking of moving?

Lar - How's your lipoma...is that soon?  She (the hairdresser) must have cut off quite a bit of your hair...it was much longer than mine.

Have fun at the birthday parties!  They are all fortunate to have your love. 

I'm cleaning house today, as I've been lazy through rads, working fulltime, and Christmas.  It needs it.  Still have the bathrooms and a few loads of clothes. 

I want to keep in touch through Yahoo or whatever.  I very much enjoy all of you.  See you later!

Lorain 

Liz - I didn't think you sounded sorry for yourself...it's just the unknown that's rather scary right now.  I sure don't blame you...I wouldn't want to ruin your implants after all you've been through!  I can't wait for mine...June!!!!  Good for your heading to the gym...our school has a walking track which is great for winter.  Only thing is you have to work around games and meets etc.   I'm ready to get in shape after a year without much exercise!

Have any of you been on a Windjammer cruise?  I think I'm going to make my hubby Bruce take me on one this summer after I get my implants.  Then I can wear a swimsuit.  Right now I have too much space between...no cleavage.  My ps promised I'd have some!  Go to www.windjammer.com to see what it's like. 

Alright, Lar!  How do I make a link you can click on?  Mozilla won't let me.

Oh, I guess I did it! 

Lorain 

Liz, I was the one who actually chose a mastectomy over a lumpectomy to avoid radiation, so I'm completely with you on what a difficult decision you were facing. It didn't help that your docs couldn't agree. If all my docs told me to do rads, I would have done it. But they didn't, so I didn't.

I hadn't heard about the radiation machine that goes around and avoids your heart, etc. My first tumor was on the left side so that was a big concern of mine.

--CindyMN

Lorain, just read your prior post. Yes, I'm having the lipoma removed on Wednesday.  It was weird.  I went into my GP to get pre-op testing done, and there's some program they punch in all your info into and it spits out your risks of surgery.  So I am in the top group healthwise, and I have a 1% chance of DYING during surgery.  You know, it never really concerned me before considering I've had a few surgeries, but that 1% struck me since that is what I was told my chance of getting breast cancer at my age was, and we know how that turned out!    So no, I'm really not scared, but it did feel a little creepy.

And yes, she did chop quite a bit off.  I was getting such a fro that I felt like an old lady.  I wanted to get a little style.  But I'm afraid all I did was set myself back in growing it out. 

Cindy- LOL --- I think I was ahead of you guys with the chemo b/c I only had 4 rounds of AC...  I had my last treatment June 21st...so I think I might be 2 months ahead of many of you gals??  I too heard that the Herceptin slows the growth, but now that I look at the pics, the change is hysterical...  I will try and post the monthly pics on Yahoo...

Lar- I got my diagnosis the day after Thanksgiving in '06...  (Had a routine mammo in Oct, followup mammos and biopsy in November, diagnosis at the end of Nov, consultations with surgeons in Dec, and surgery finally 1/5/07.  Rads-chemo-now Herceptin 'til July.

Liz- if you can't voice your fears here to your cancer *sisters*, who can you voice them to!!  (I don't want to minimize your fears either...you are right...my situation was completely different from yours...I did only have the lumpectomy...)  I'm totally thinking of you and hope all works out great!

We all had such long hair pre-chemo!!  Such a riot!  Mine was nearly down to my backside.  I have a dorkalicious picture that I took of myself in the bathroom mirror.  (Just to document the hair growth before I chopped my pony tail off and donated it to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths...)

I'm so sleepy tonight, but golly, did I get a HUGE dose of love today.  My sister gave me an *anniversay* present and made me CRY.  It was a sister's calendar.  So beautiful.  And, my nieces and nephews are so lovey dovey.  They just maul me.  My little niece was laying all over me tonight breathing on my neck (which I hate b/c I'm really ticklish...so I squirmed and she tried to blow on my neck more....it's really effective and romantic when I push boys away too....hahahha).  Anyhow, as I was leaving, the 6 year old birthday girl hugged me really tight and kissed me and then grabbed me again and said, "wait, I have to kiss you 6 times because I'm 6..."  HOW CUTE IS THAT?  So, she kissed me 6 times and then I said, "one more for good luck..."

We were all playing our DS's...  I have the brain of an 80 year old according to Brain Age 2! 

Anyhow, what a day.  Dang, but if those kids aren't amazing...I'm so lucky...  I can't imagine how it feels to be a mother to kids so awesome...  (Although I know my sister would choke if she read this...sometimes they are monsters...)

LOL---ok after midnight here.  I am so sleepy.  Cindy- we are having lots of rain too...

Hugs to all!!

Virginia 

Evening!

Virginia - Congratulations on being an amazing 1-year survivor.  Did you think one year ago today that you would feel as great as you do?   I know when I was first diagnosed, I prayed that I would be around to see my one -year mark!  (I was diagnosed on March 8,07).  Now, I even find myself talking about events 2-years down the road and thinking 'hmmm...maybe I WILL be here after all!'  I even feel that way about 10 or 20 years from now and then think 'still not enough!'  I want to live to 80 - which would be more like 40 years down the road!  Why the hell not?

Liz - only Traci gets to see your new breasts?  I feel so hurt (JUST KIDDING! - I have a pretty twisted sense of humour).  How did your session go at the gym?  You're right - I only had a lumpectomy and I never thought about the extra consideration for your implants!  You are not feeling sorry for yourself and even if you were who the hell cares?  We are entitled to throw pity parties for ourselves every now and then.  When I was int he hospital in September, I joked to another patient that there wasn't enough space in my room because I was busy throwing myself a HUGE pity party - complete with balloons and champagne!

Lorain - I think you should go on a windjammer cruise - why the hell not?

Lar - I would be nervous too.  For me, anasthetic means a lack of control and I am NOT comfortable with that!  I am looking forward to my gall bladder surgery in February but when I think having an IV started again (into my hardened chemo veins) , the choice between nausea or steroids, the muscle soreness 2 days after, the pain form the incision, the possibility that it could end up bieng major surgery and yes, the possibility that I could die on the table...suddenly I'm not too excited to have that surgery!  In fact, if I could be guaranteed not to have anohter attack as long as I continue to eat super low fat - I wouldn't even consider the surgery.  I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday.

Cindy MN - thanks for chiming in about your other group - it is reassuring.  I think we need to pick a date to start posting there only...I need to take some time to familiarize myself with that page (I know nothing about yahoo).  I did try to create a photo album but my $%*8!## computer STILL couldn't upload any of my photos.  Honestly, if I don't post on this site of the yahoo group, for several weeks it's because I tossed the wretched computer through the window...ARRGGHH!!!!!!!

Well, off to beddy bye,  tomorrow I will try to get in on the yahoo group (I know I'm "in" but I need to start posting there!)

Mandy

Mandy- I was thinking that...1 year I have been without cancer in my body.  It's a very very very very very very nice thought!!  I was just reading back in my journal (I am not sophisticated enough to keep a modern day blog!  ).  Anyhow, I was reading my entry after I was first diagnosed and how scared to death I was...  And how awful my first meeting with the surgeon in NJ was...she was so cold.  It was awful...giving me worst case scenario (which almost turned out to be true) which threw me for a loop b/c I thought in the beginning that I had only DCIS and stage 0 cancer...

anyhow, it's amazing that a whole year has gone by...  Just astonishing...

Traci- are you watching my Giants??  They look pretty good again.  Looks like they are going to be playing your 'Boys next week...

Took my tree down...now I need to find my inner motivation to clear away the dust bunnies...

Virginia 

Traci- I live in Ohio...  Just kidding!  LOL  VirginiaNJ...ummmmmm, I live in New Jersey.  Tee hee.  I live in northern NJ about 30 minutes outside of THE City (that would be Manhattan!)  Snobby pseudo-New Yorker that I am.

We are spread all over the US.  I know that we bandied about Vegas...just 'cause of its "fun" factor.

I am guessing a mid-western city would be most "in-between" for those of us on either coast...  We have our gals on the "left" coast... 

Virginia....you and I being the single, wild, bc survivin' gals we are....I'm not sure Vegas is a good idea for us. One of us will probably come home married to someone we'd hate once we were sober!!!!

Keep those cities comin' girls! I'll do a map.

I wish CindyKS would check in....we are thinking about you girl.....

Ahem...please don't forget about this Canadian gal when talking living locations!!!!!

(I am in Edmonton - which is pretty much directly north of Montana)

Mandy

Hey girls,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Liz,,,,,,,,I hope I didnt say anything that made you think that you were making a big deal out of rads?  If so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I sooooooooo apoligize for that.  I forgot that you had the mast and I can see where your concern lays. I am so so sorry if I did.  But I also know that you are a strong woman,,,,,and you will do fine.

So I have a dumb question,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,now Nioxin is a shampoo thingy??  And whats biotin?  And where do you get both of those?  I knew I had thin hair,,,,,,but when you hardly have much length,,,,,,it seems even thinner. 

I like the yahoo group.  I'm even getting pretty good at posting pictures.  It takes me a while to figure things out on the computer.  I always have to ask my son or hubby to help me, but this time I figured it out all byyyyyyyyyyy myself. (patting my back as we speak)

So I'm heading to Arizona on Saturday to visit my girlfriend that I have known since junior high,,,,,,,,yes ladies, that would be 40 years, if you are sitting there counting.  lol

The drywaller came on Friday and today and tomorrow,,,,and guess what?  She was a she.  I told her,,,,,,,,u go girl.  Nice to see women venturing out in a so called mans occupation.  Only thing though,,,,,she had on tight jeans and she had the ass crack thing goin on.  I thought only plumbers had that.........haha   But honestly,,,,,,,,,I dont care if its a male or female,,,,,,,,just want the job done right.  And shoot,,,,,,,she sure knows what she is doing.  I watch those home improvement shows and when I see those lady carpenters,,,,,,I have to admit, I am a little jealous.  I want one of those tool belts and I want to know how to do that stuff.  My husband laughs at me cause I love to go to Home Depot.  lol

Traci,,,,,,,,,,,,are you serious about moving to Dallas?  How come girl?

Well,,,,,,,,,,,I am freezing.  And my friend just instant messaged me and wants to play some spades.  Soooooooooo off I go.  Have a great week all.  Take care

Cindy

No no, Cindy, you didn't say anything like that.  I just wanted everyone to understand why I was obsessing.  It probably sounded like I was overreacting to it.  Even my doctor said stop fighting so hard against the radiation idea.  I understand that most women here, except probably Lorain, did not have a mastectomy and reconstruction and then rads, so my situation was a little different.  And you really don't learn all the issues unless you have the treatment yourself.  Sooooo, anyway, short story long, I am totally fine with it now and I have put the xanax away and no one said anything that they need to apologize for!!!

And I RAN TODAY...for a few minutes...but I RAN TODAY!!!  And my implants didn't fall off or anything ;-))) 

Cindy - As I said, I am using Nioxin also...got mine at a salon in Walmart, but you can get it from any salon, I think.  Biotin is an inexpensive vitamin that is supposed to promote hair and nail health.  My oncologist said it's fine to take.  I got it at Walmart also for a few dollars and I take 2 a day.  My 29 yr-old son who has thinning hair is starting on Nioxin also.  We'll see...he's not married yet so hair's still important!

Gotta go...haven't spent any time on Yahoo yet but I will!

Lorain