Starting Chemo in May 07

Hi girls,,,,,,,,,,,,just a quick in and out.  Read everyones posts.  Good news gals.   Isnt it nice to focus on life outside of BC for a change.  I just love reading everyones posts,,,,,,,,about families, activities,,,,,,,,,,and someones sex life??  ummmmmmm that would be your Tracie.  Good for you,,,,,,,,,,,,you go girl.  lol

Yes,,,,,,,,, the birthday party is for my grandson the one I babysit.  I just love him so.

ok,,,,,,,,,,,,so I've been playing Wii.............good God almighty,,,,,,,,,I ammmmmmmmmm sore.  Can you believe that?  All from a video game,,,,,,,,,,,I play the tennis and I feel like I was actually on the court running around.  The boxing is fun too.  I had a chance to uppercut the hubby without even hurting him.  Would be a good game to have when you are mad,,,,,,,,,,just beat the pretend shit outta the person.  lol  Aggression, aggression, aggression.  lol

Had my mammo today,,,,,,,,,,and it was an all clear.  I know we all will have the cancer thing in the back of our minds,,,,,,,,but sure is nice to know that right now there is no cancer. And by golly,,,,,,I'm keeping a positive attitude that it is gone forever.  Right girls? 

Well just wanted to pop in to say Hi,,,,,,,,,,,,

The guys are coming over to start the drywalling on the kitchen and bathroom.  Cant wait to get that stuff done, so I can start on the kitchen cabinetry and countertops.  I almost hate being a homeowner anymore.  If its not one thing breaking down its another.  At least if you rent,,,,,,you just call the landlord up and say,,,,,,,,,ummmmmmmmmm come over and fix it.  lol  We have lived in our house for so long, own it,,,,,,,and have no write off anyway,,,,,,,,,so whats the difference.  lol  It's good security thats all. 

Have a good rest of the week and a great weekend.

Take good care of yourselves gals...............

Cindy

Hiya, all!  Well, I want my money back from my hair cut.  I don't look anything like Halle Barrie!?! lol   Seriously though, it does look okay, but I actually think I looked better with 1/2" long hair all over.  Or was I just so thrilled to have any hair then that my perspective is skewed?

But the strangest thing happened last night.  I hadn't trimmed my hair at all since chemo, so I still had the soft baby locks.  Well last night I laid my head on my pillow and *ouch*!  It was like lying on a pin cushion!  I swear, no matter what position I put my head in, and I couldn't get comfortable.  I tried putting pantyhose on my head (yea, that looked attractive) and that only made it worse.  What's up with that?  The only thing I can figure is that my scalp isn't used to the blunt ends and it'll take a few days for it to desensitize.  Seriously girls, I had to take a Percocet so I could forget I had a head in order to get to sleep!  When I woke up early this morning, same problem!  When I get my massage today I'm likely to fall asleep with my head in the donut.  Hey, maybe she'll let me sleep on her table tonight lol.

Amanda, great news on the normal brain MRI, what a relief eh?  Isn't it strange to have "normal" health stuff going on?  It's like, why now?  Don't confuse me!

Cindy, great news on the clear mammo.  That is also a relief.  I just started doing self exams again (I know, I should have been doing them all along since dx) and of course I'm feeling questionable areas (which is why I stopped doing them during treatment -- too much stress).  I've set my reminder to do it the first Thursday of every month.  I see my onc on Monday so I'll show her the areas.  I'm not really concerned, because I'm pretty sure they're nothing (they feel nothing like my original lump).

That would be cool mtnmama.  Good idea,,,,,,,omg you are sooooooooo smart.  And how long is your hair now?  I have about 3/4 of an inch and not even enough to go get styled.  OMG,,,,,,this hair growth is so frickin slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.  lol

Cindy

Okay, I sent invites to Traci and Cindy-SC to the e-mail addy's you provided.  If anyone else wants to join, all you need to do is go here and click on the "Join this Group" button!

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/may2007/

(I purposely didn't categorize as a cancer group, because I figured we didn't need to be hit with cancer ads every time we log in.  But it will have general health type ads.  Unfortunately, you have to choose something!)

omggggggggggggggggggg  I am a moron.  Nevermind,,,,,,i see where one can post. doiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Cindy

I put a little tutorial at the yahoo group site, but I'll also put it here.  You can either login to the site to read and post, or you can do it all via e-mail. 

Via e-mail, you can start a thread by sending an e-mail to May2007@yahoogroups.com (you need to do it from the e-mail address you joined with) and the thread will be named the same as the subject of the e-mail.  Or you can reply to someone else's thread by replying to the e-mail you receive (if you have e-mail notifications enabled).

Logging into the site, you either read the message and click "reply" (to reply to the thread), or click "Post" to create a new thread.

Something to note about pictures.  You can e-mail with attachments (like a picture), but only those who receive e-mail notifications will be able to see the attachments (not those who go to the site to read).  You can post pictures in the photos section of the site though.

I took a nap this afternoon (since I got no sleep last night) and my head wasn't quite so bristly.  Hopefully tonight I'll have some relief!  I put a bunch of gel in it this evening to hopefully make it glue to my head lol.  It really does look pretty awful.  I realize it's part that my hair just won't cooperate and part that it's near impossible to get an expert cut in my small town (that's one of the reasons I always kept it long!)

I finally have a consensus on radiation!  All my doctors (that I've asked) are now recommending it, albeit a bit half-heartedly on my surgeon's part.  He said I should just suck it up and do it.  So I'm going to just do it and stop torturing myself and everyone else.  I was up till 2AM last night reading studies so I'm done now.

I have to go back to work now.  I still have 2 more hours.  Today was hectic.  Went to the mall with my sis, and then came home and had lunch and then my sis came back to pick something up.  Then I had my doctor's appointment, so I'm behind.  It's great to have a flexible work schedule, except when it's not ;-)

So I feel great and I'm going to start running a little next week.  Maybe I can lose a few pounds before rads.  Is it ok to diet on rads?  I think I read somewhere that you shouldn't lose weight. 

Evening ladies,

Lar - GREAT idea about another group - I have been whining about this for a long time now but A) no one seemed interested and I lacked the ability/knowledge to actually do anything about it!  As I've mentioned before, I really love chatting with everyone but hate coming to this website.  I know I will never forget that I had cancer and I don't mind talking about it - but sometimes I start to cruise other threads and that can put me into a tailspin VERY fast.  I now only come to this thread and if I didn't have to do so, I'd be very happy.  I just don't like to see all the terms, posts (by others etc.)  I guess I am just not strong/selfless enough to be of much help to others who are newly diagnosed - it's still too recent for me.  For example, at the cancer centre where I receive treatment, there are tons of survivors who volunteer.  I am grateful for them and their generous spirit but I could never do that - I get the hell in and out of there as quickly as possible because in my mind - I do not belong there.  Sometimes I feel that way when I see terms like chemotherapy or recurrence and I can see just from a post's title how much another lady is struggling with this journey.  Sometimes it's just all too real for me.  I'll go with the majority - I will join the yahoo group (gladly) but if it fizzles, I may continue to post here...no gurantees though - another meltdown for whatever reason and I just may pull the plug on visiting here altogehter...but for now I feel stable!  I don't mean to sound heartless and so selfish - I'm really not an unkind person - but for some reason, I'm pretty certain about spending as little time in Cancerland as possible.

Traci - good on ya for ringin in the new year "with a bang"!  Have fun and however things work out they work out!  That's what the world needs more of - sex!  (Or maybe it's just me ha ha - actually Christmas was wonderful wink wink, nudge nudge!)

Liz - glad you've decided about rads - it must be a relief to have made a decision - when will you start?  I have 9 more treatments to go!!!  Hey - have a great run next week.

Cindy - I LOVE your stream of consiousness posts - they always make me feel like I'm in the room with you while you think out loud - always make me smile!

I spent the day skiing with my offspring - it was fun.  We were so hungry after we decided to head straight to the restaurant - except that I still had on my ski pants and nothing underneath so I had to go in the restuarant like that - oh well, I was so hungry I didn't care - I would have walked in naked if needed.....hey, then we would have the place to ourselves - but then there'd be all that running and screaming...

Have a great night all

Mandy

And yeah, Mandy, I am very relieved to have this decision behind me.

Traci, I understand your concern, and I don't mean for the Yahoo group to replace this thread.  I'm the newcomer, and I don't want to crash the party and then invite everyone elsewhere!  But the reason that I kept away from this forum during dx and chemo, is the same reason I am likely to leave again soon.  I don't have any self control on going to dark places. 

I've done it with a forum in another aspect of my life, and I have a great yahoo group launched from that site, too.  I developed great friendships, but without the intensity of the subject matter.  When you have so many members who need support, you will have an inordinate amount of grief in comparison to joy. 

That being said, I don't at all want the yahoo group to be cancer free.  I have no problems talking amongst a small group about what we're going through, even if it's scary or sad stuff.  I want to be there to support all of you in future treatment, tests, illness, whatever might come along.  It's just that with the volume of stories on this site, if I am inclined to go to a dark place, I can find plenty of evidence to support that.

The other great thing about the yahoo site is that it's easy to post pictures!  lol  And we can also share a lot more of our private info without concern.

I would be happy to stop in here often to repost the invitation to the group so no one misses it either.

Ditto, echo, same... LOL  I agree with what everyone says RE the Yahoo group...

Sometimes I feel a little guilty writing my goofy posts with my life forging ahead "sans-cancer."  I think the Yahoo forum is a great place like Lar said to post pics and give links to like, say, my day at Rockefeller Center!  LOL  (I can bore you all to tears with stuff like that!!

I will most certainly be forever grateful to this site for introducing me to you gals.  It's funny how you can feel such friendship and bonds to people you've never actually met in person.  WE SO HAVE TO MEET EACH OTHER!!!  I'll always come back here and check the posts.  I also post on a Tamoxifen thread and I'm thinking of looking up a Herceptin thread...

Liz- I sailed through rads too.  Felt tired by the end of the day, evening...  Was ready for bed.  But, I worked full time all during my rads.  Missed one day of work b/c I had an upset stomach...totally un-related to the rads.  I also had the peeling skin, but it heeled nicely.  (I also hardly missed any work from chemo...I'm a little nutty...missed my infusion day and the day after, but that's about it...I worked full time through everything...)

Anyhow, you will get you mind around rads...forge ahead, and before you know it, you'll be done.  Like everyone said, you are a strong woman...look at how much you have been through.  With that being said, I can TOTALLY understand how you feel---like, for gosh's sakes, ENOUGH...I don't want to do ANYMORE....  But, like my Daddy says, "you'll pull yourself up by your boot straps and do it..."  Ok, I'll get off my soap box...like you need me teetering up here anyway!!

Mandy- LOL- I was going to say the EXACT same thing to Traci about welcoming the new year with a bang...but I restrained myself!  LOL  Glad you said it!!!  Puh-lease....at least some of you are getting bootie calls.  I'm getting close to calling a friend with benefits...

Amanda- think of you and your Mom often...

Cindy- your posts were soooooooooooooooooooooooo funny.  I was belly laughing.  You have some sense of humor woman!!  I can't imagine your renovations...  My bro-in-law gutted my bathroom while I was going through rads...probably took 2 months to do and it was my only full bath...  Was schlepping to my Dad's for showers...  UGH.  But, now I have a FANTASTIC BR, so it's worth it!

Ok, I have a family party today as well...my niece Nikki turned 6 on Jan 2, so today is her party.  She's the light of my life.  Comes to my herceptin infusions...clambers on my lap, give the best cuddles.  She makes me melt (as do all my babies---nieces and nephews).

Have a great day everyone!!

V 

oh, and ONE YEAR ago TODAY, I had my surgery!

In some ways, this was the longest year of my life, and in other ways I think, Holy Crappola...did I REALLY go through all this???