Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008 (no offence to anyone)

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8

Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, 
teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky ..
Not really good for anything,

but you still can't help but smile 
when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, 
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.    
It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac

to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease

is located among millions and millions of cows

in America but we haven't got a clue as to where

millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture

in charge of Immigration?  ( And Osama) 


" Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"