Starting chemo Dec 2007

Dear Sally,

 Good Luck today at the salon, I will be thinking about you and your initiation into the Sisterhood of Baltitude ! Though shocking for a few days, and a HUGE blast of reality when looking in mirror, you sound like such a strong woman,  I am sure you will use your awesome sense of humor to get through. I am giving you a super high five, and sending a prayer of strength north as I type. Drive On BC Biblio Warrior, You are taking charge !!!  xo Cindy

Way to go Sally! I can't wait to see your new pic!

I had TC tx #2 yesterday. The poor nurse blew out the vein in the crook of my arm, so she had to insert the IV in my hand. I think she felt worse than I did.

I'm feeling just about the same as I did the last time. Tired and spacey, but this time I did a pre-emptive strike with Aleve for the body aches. So far, so good. My insurance company agreed to let me administer Neupogen shots and I just gave myself the first one today. One thing that cancer has done is make me fearless. There is NO way on God's green earth that I would of considered doing this before my diagnosis. Of course, I paused for a few minutes before I could do it. This saves me an hour of driving to the hospital for five consecutive days and the cost of five appointments. I had the choice between Neulasta and Neupogen and decided that the "moderate to severe bone pain" that is associated with Neulasta was not something I could deal with on top of the chemo se's. Call me a baby.

Also found out yesterday that my insurance company won't reimburse for a cranial prosthesis. They will, however, cover hot rock therapy, accupuncture and massage therapy. Go figure. So, the wig that I picked out is WAY too expensive. Looks like I'm gonna be a hat/scarf gal or just put on an enormous pair of earrings and embrace my balditude!

Here's to us!

Sharon 

We seem to be growing and growing still. Welcome KMK and Kate. I'm so sorry you have to be here, but glad you found the support. I hope to get to know everyone with a bit of time.

After my last post re: staples removed, I started getting some pretty harsh bone and joint pain all through my lower back, hips and legs and my migraine was unbearable. I tried everything from advil to oxycodone then even morphine for the pain but nothing touched it. I think it was on thurs evening I noticed I was starting to run a bit of a fever 38.2c - 38.7c, I really didn't want to spend the night in emergency so I stayed up all night monitoring it. I called my oncologist first thing in the morning. They ran some blood & urine tests and it would seem it was the neupogen shots. I think I was producing too many wbc's and thats what caused the bone pain & fever. Not sure if the migraine was related to this. Will be doing the injections every second day next cycle and see if that works out better.

Today I have a bit of a headache but I feel almost normal. I started my Christmas shopping this afternoon and hope to finish it tomorrow.

Am glad to see everyones humor and spirits seem to be on the up side. Cindy, you really should have had a pic taken with the $10k earrings as a souvenir. Sally, cant wait to see your new dew. Jeez we both had our first tx on the same day, guess I'm gonna have to seriously think about dusting the clippers off. DH says he will do the honors if I want him to (He buzzes his own in summer)

Anyway I hope everyone stays well and warm, Big hugs to each and every one of you.

Much Love

Suz

*grumble*  I'm having trouble uploading a larger image, so you'll have to get out your magnifying glasses to see the avatar. Perspective Sally-- you're going through chemo. If this is the worst thing that happens to you all day, consider yourself blessed!!

Have to scoot, but wanted to say thank you to everyone for their nice comments. Welcome to Kate, and I'll be praying for you. Oh Suz... the pain... wow. I'll check back in later and see how everyone is doing.

-Sally

Wow  Look at the new beautiful you Sally. You look absolutely marvelously baldtiful.

All you ladies are so incredibly inspiring. I cant even begin to tell you all how dear you have become. My hats off to all of you (my hair is following it real quick) 

Sharon, I'm sorry to here your insurance company wont cover a wig. I think mine is only covering $100 but I'll take it. This brings up a question, I was wondering what does a good wig cost south of the border? My criteria is one european virgin (virgin hair not person)human hair wig, never dyed, hand tied front just longer than shoulder length, light ash brown. I cant believe what it cost here, I don't know if its just me or what, but I seem to have the reach for a pretty whatever (insert item) syndrome and bingo its the most expensive item in the store. Anyway am curious if I should drive over the border (20 minutes away from me) and have a look. The border lineups are bad now but they should settle down after Christmas. Any advise and input would be most appreciated.

Love & hugs to all

Suz

Suz, thank you so much for the play-by-play of your last tx. I'll let you know how the 5-dose regimen goes. I hope that you are feeling MUCH better now.  Good luck with your shopping today. It's rainy here in the Mid-Atlantic region. A good day to stay in and veg on the couch.

Take care everyone!

Sharon 

Hello ladies!

Sally - you look FABULOUS!!! Wow!!! I mean.....WOW!!!!

It is great to see everyone is doing well. Sharon, that must have been a bit traumatizing to have a problem with your vein during chemo. Yikes! I am hoping for the best tomorrow for tx #2. I went on Friday for bloodwork and they found that my wbc was still a bit low, so I will have to go tomorrow morning early for bloodwork again to see if it has recovered sufficiently for the tx in the afternoon. While it would be nice to not feel sick for Christmas, I just want to get on with things and don't want even a 3-day delay. We'll see....

Suz, have you tried wigs on anywhere yet? If not, I'd recommend just trying some to see how they look. I am not sure of all the technicalities you mention but I found a couple I liked (new) in a salon here in Calgary. One is monofilament hair and the other natural hair. They cost around $180 and $250 respectively. I believe the human hair wig would normally be priced quite a bit higher but they had this one marked down for some reason. I suppose I might be worried more about the quality (how long they would last) if I were planning to wear them for years, but at this point I think they will be ok and folks say they look great. I don't have any scarves and have a couple of toques. One good thing about having no hair is when I have a hot flash I can just whip off the toque or the hair and it's instant coolness and relief, lol. Good luck in your search! Loriann, I, too, find that after quite a few hours the wig starts to bug me. With the remaining stubble it feels like it's poking back into my scalp. I can see how you would be good and ready to take it off after 9 hours! Re the Neulasta/Neupogen - I am on FEC but they haven't mentioned using this for me. I wonder if they will, if my wbc don't recover by Monday. I feel bad that you have to suffer with the bone/joint pain - yuck! I admire the braveness of you ladies self-injecting.

My stubble really started coming out a lot on Friday; same for pubic hair, and I am finding that leg hair is coming out as well. I feel quite normal, except that with the blood count down I can't keep the long hours I did before. Around 10-11 pm I really need to get to bed. My skin is also drier than usual. As far as the mouth sores, I have an old Water Pik machine and I used that with warm salt water and it helped to get the funky taste out of my mouth. The gums felt leathery around day 15 or so, and I think I had some sores for 2-3 days after that, but nothing significant, and it passed after a couple of days.

My thoughts are with Amy, traveling today - hopefully uneventfully. And with the new sisters - Diane, Kate and everyone else. I suppose we are all now getting very busy with Christmas so close. I am actually baking today and just pulled a beautiful coffee cake out of the oven. I am looking forward to eating some of it before I lose my appetite again.  I wish I could have you ladies over for coffee!

Hugs to all
Laurita

Laura,

Mmmm that coffee cake sounds so good. I seem to have acquired a real sweet tooth over the last few days. Might be because I feel so much better. I'm glad next treatment is on the 27th so I get to enjoy Christmas feeling pretty good. I am 95% complete on Christmas shopping in two days . Will pick up a couple of stocking stuffers for my husband, cat & dog while I'm waiting for my blood-work tomorrow morning and then just need a few groceries.

Yes, Ive tried on quite a few wigs. I think I must have found the most expensive wig shop there is, because the prices sure are a lot higher than what I'm hearing everyone else finding. But.... OMG they are so gorgeous and real looking. I've already got a nice quality (new) human hair wig at the cancer agency. I am having it washed and set professionally, it was ok... but not quite right, so I'll see how it looks after they do their thing with it. Now I'm looking for a good wig that I can buy for me, that suits me. LOL my insurance is kicking in $100... thats great, but not going to cover a whole lot at the prices I've seen so far. I have a ton of hats and a few scarves, so shouldn't be a problem keeping the head warm.

I took the scissors to my hair today to get rid of the length and bulk of it. Not buzzed yet but half way there. Baby steps. I'm thinking maybe Christmas or boxing day might be the right time but will play it by ear.

Thank you all for your good wishes and kind words, it means the world to me. Warm hugs and hope everyone has a relaxing Christmas Eve (even though its 4:30am here now)

Much Love

Suz

Hi Everyone    Bibliowarrior you look adorable and oh so sophisticated!  I have been busy, but will post more in a day or so.  Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone and many Happy New Years.

Merry Christmas Everyone,

I wish you all at least a moment of peaceful joy, where you can look around yourself and say I am loved and "I believe". Enjoy your families, friends, neighbors or whomever enters your life today. Allow yourself to be loved because you deserve it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers today. A round of Christmas hugs for each and every one of you. I believe in the power of a Hug.

Much Love

Suz and my crew, Russ, Aaron, Mr Whiskers & Sophia

Good morning all! I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Thank goodness I continued to feel good as we ran around quite a bit the last few days.  Still waking in the night...should just go ahead a take the Advil PM but when I'm ready for bed I'm so tired I don't think I need it....I've never been one to take pills unless absolutely necessary...I guess I could get over that for the 6 months or so!

Sal, you look great in your new short hair!  Mine stubble is really starting to come out now too!  I have been out several times now without the hair (just a bandana) and don't even think twice about it!  Comfort wins!!  I think that was me that suggested the ice chips and I'm glad they are working!  They are still working for me too! I eat a mugfull while infusing and at home when needed!  Best wishes today..hope you come thru with flying colors!

Laurita, Hoping #2 is treating you decent!  My second one went easier so I wish that for everyone!  I'm really not having much bone or joint pain with the Neulasta..Knock on wood.  Just my lower back on occasion but nothing worse than occasional period related lower back pain.  I really think alot of my side effects after the first tx were also period related since they were within days of each other and I hope I don't have a period next month now!!

Suz, Sharon, Kate, Joy, Hope you are all doing well and think of our little group often.  Still so thankful to have you all!

Quick question...I was kind of looking forward to my arm hair falling out and it doesn't seem to be leaving...anyone else's shedding...did it take longer?  And to whoever asked about losing eyelashes (Sal?) I understand it's hit or miss...for eyebrows too.  Mine are holding on for now and not any thinner that I can tell.

Now that # 2 is done, my surgeon wants me to come in for another ultrasound to see how tumor is responding to the chemo.  I can feel myself that is has gotton smaller so I'm a bit excited to see what she says.  Hopefully I can get in by the end of this week.

Have a great day all..warm hugs all around!!  Lori

Merry belated Christmas, ladies!

Well, I did end up having my second tx as planned on the 24^th.  It was a bit of a hectic day.  My tx was sched for 1:45 pm and so I planned to go and do the second round of bloodwork early in the morning, finish up a couple of last minute Christmas errands, wrap presents and then go in for tx.  Well, they phoned me just as I was about to head out for blood work to shift my tx time to 10:15 am.  Well, that would have thrown a real wrench in my plans, so I pushed back and we agreed on 12:00.  Fortunately, bloodwork was quick and so were the errands.  But I opted to wash my car instead of wrap presents because I had so little time left and the car was horribly filthy from dirt and salt and slush.  Tx went well.  One of my best friends went with me, she has just returned from 5 weeks travelling in Mexico and so we had a lot of catching up to do.  It was a great opportunity to do that.  I took the triple threat suppository during the tx and although I still felt queasy a couple of hours later, I did not get sick!  I was very tired, though, because I hardly slept the night before.  So I had tx from 1-3:30 (In the end they had me waiting at least an hour before I even got into the tx area) and then was in bed by 5 pm and slept until midnight, woke for a bit and slept again until 4 am.  I got up because I couldn't possibly sleep any more.  The stomach held on and I felt great in the morning!  I was shocked!  I got all my presents wrapped and under the tree, reorganized all my Christmas bags, wrap, tissue paper and bows, and baked tarts.  I couldn't believe it.  I was able to eat Christmas dinner and today I feel a bit queasy but nothing unmanageable.  I have been baking (and eating) lots lately and I hope that any possibly remaining cancer cells are shrinking as fast as my butt is growing, lol!

Negative thoughts - I am missing my husband terribly and we are having no success in expediting his immigration case.  I am getting occasional sharp pains in the breast at the tumor site and I don't know what that is about.  At this point I am not going to worry too much about these, but will mention them to the onc next time.  Onward....

KMK, almost like clockwork the hair starts to fall out around day 14-15.  Mine did, and I shaved it off on day 14.  I didn't want to watch it fall out in chunks.  Around day 19 the stubble started coming out a lot.  I imagine if I had just cut my hair short instead of shaving, I would have been forced to shave it off at that time due to severe patchiness.  Today I have a sparsely speckled egg (day 23 from first tx).  Most of the stubble has now come out and it really looks kinda pathetic, with these sparse little spikes here and there.  Every time I bathe I rub it hard to try and loosen the remaining stubble, thinking that none is better than this sorry looking stuff.  Plus I find the stubble, now that it is "loose" in the follicles, feels poky when I put the wig on.  I found that a makeshift cap of part of a panty hose leg helps with the comfort under the wig.  Sally, I think the eyebrows/lashes take a long time to come out, and for some it is not always 100%.  Mine are still firmly attached (I check, lol).  The leg hair is strange - mine isn't really falling out, but if I pull on them they come right out.  I think if I ran an Epilady over my legs they'd give up all their hair without a fight.

Sally, you really do look lovely bald.  You have such fine features that I think they stand out more with less hair.  It's a fabulous look for you.

Loriann, Sharon, Joy and Suz, it's great to hear you are doing well.  I wonder how Amy is doing, I hope she travelled well.  And Cindy and Kate, and everyone else.

I wish every one of you wonderful ladies the best for Christmas and New Year's.  Having you here makes the world of difference and makes all of this so much more bearable.  Big hugs to you all!

Laura

It is hard to believe that only 30 days ago I didn't know I had bc.  In that 30 days, I have had a mammogram,  ultrasound, surgery for hematoma (ha ha) pet scan, cat scan and first chem with next in four days (New Years Eve).  I feel that I am just now beginning to be able to sort it all out and accept the reality of it.  I met with my onc last wed. for results of pet scan.  No organs, but 13 lymph nodes and he continually made reference to "extremely aggressive cancer".  Mass measured 5.3 cm.  Glad for no organs, but lymph nodes are worrisome.  He had told me previously that I would not feel any diminishing of the mass until after the 2nd treatment.  I can say that today I think it has already diminished by at least 50%.  Maybe it is going to go away as quickly as it came?  Treatment plan ,chemo, mastetomy, rads. then maybe more chemo.  I got up at 6: 00 this morning looked in the mirror at my hair, got the sissors out and solved that problem.  I'll get it buzzed later.  I am so looking forward to tx next Mon.  I don't think it will be as bad as last time because I really think I had worked myself up to a fever pitch.  Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and I think and pray for all of us.  We can do this!             Joy                                                  

Joy, I really admire your attitude. You've had a lot to deal with in a short 30 days, but it sounds as if you certainly are "dealing with it." It sounds like several of you ladies have had to deal with chemo before you even have the surgery... makes me feel as if I've had it easy since I have that crossed off my list already. I have nothing but respect for all the variations of treatments that we are all going through and handling as best we can.

Those of you that are going through the chemo pre-surgery and think that the tumor has shrunk-- I'm praying that you're all right... that would be absolutely wonderful news!! Keep us informed. 

Amy, thanks for the kind words, both regarding my buzz cut and the eyebrows... nice to have one thin ray of hope to cling to, eh? As for the acne, I have some horrible breakouts on my arms, shoulders and back but am pretty sure it is from the physical therapy sessions... they use some sort of cream when they work on me. Luckily I can hide it under shirts. I wouldn't recommend that for your problem (ha ha). I wonder if the onc dr can give you some sort of topical cream... I know, I know... that would probably make you feel even more like a teenager again, right? Fingers crossed for you on tx#3.

As for what to say to people who ask "How are ya?"... that's a tough one because I usually feel real awkward and hem-and-haw. I guess I hate the idea of people feeling sorry for me, so I try to paint a nice picture and leave the crappy stuff vague... "I was sick as a dog the 1st day of chemo, but that was the worst day so I have nothing to complain about. And there are only 7 treatments left." etc. But then again, I already have my surgeries (cancer & reconstruction) behind me, so I honestly do feel that most of the "big stuff" I had to go through is behind me. 

Laura, you are amazing... how you got all that stuff done on Christmas Eve/morning is beyond me. Wow! And your crack about your cancer cells shrinking as fast as your butt is growing had me howling with laughter. I'm fairly sure that is basics physics... "butt growing larger" scientifically requires another area to shrink... I'm sure I read that in the latest scientific journal at the library. (he he he)  But hey, I'm behind ya on your thinking (no pun intended). And sorry to hear about your continuing struggles regarding your hubby. Wish we could smuggle him across the border for you. *hug*

KMK, you've been quite a busy lady too. Good for you to have come this far. It sounds like the "hair falling out" thing seems to happen around 14 days or more after the 1st treatment. Today is 15 days for me, and I started to notice my hair coming out-- if I gently pulled on it-- on day 14. I would guess it will start falling on its own any day now, but since I already have it cut this short it won't bother me too much (I don't think). I only got a buzz cut... still have about an 1/8 to a 1/4 inch of hair on my head, so that's the stubble that I'll be losing.   As for how to cut your hair... I cut my hair really, really short before I had my surgery (about 2 months ago), so going "buzz" wasn't that much of stretch. But it sounds as if others have gone from long to buzz and lived to brave the tale. I'd say if it is going to happen any day now, at the very least cut it really short; but if you are brave, I'd even go for the buzz. Trust your gut and do what feels do-able for you.

I'm now in the "2 down" club. Treatment #2 definitely went better. I'm walking on egg shells... not daring to eat too much or walk around too much or anything else for fear of awakening the nausea demon within, but I'll take walking on egg shells over kneeling in front of the commode any day. And I really hit it off with my onc nurse today... I'm feeling much more positive vibes from her now... so that really made my day. I also started my period today *Bronx cheer* but I'm not even going to let that drag my spirits down... just get it over with.

Tomorrow morning my library staff has our Christmas breakfast and present swap party, which was postponed due to a snowstorm last week. Unless I feel lousy in the morning, I really want to go. Maybe I'll head home right afterwards, but dang if this stupid cancer is gonna cheat me outta my Christmas present!! (Plus I seem to be one of the few people in the world who loves her job, and look forward to going to work. I'm weird that way.)

Awaiting the arrival of my cool "I am stronger than cancer" t-shirt via mail. I'm gonna wear that to my next treatment. I laugh in the face of chemo!!! Mwaaaaa ha ha ha ha!!!!! 

-Sally