Starting Chemo in May 07

Ok, here's my attempt at a pic of me and my sis from last night!!  Whoo hoo, it worked!!  Check out my Heat Mizer hair!!  It's actually getting curly!!

Virginia!!!!!!!! You have an angel on your shoulder!!! Your sister is so pretty! Aren't sisters great!? Your hair is so much longer than mine! I have dyed my hair twice already and Bernadine you finished chemo 2 days before me! 

I missed Mandy's comment about sex at 85 and I can't hit the back button and I don't know how to copy and paste on this laptop!!!!

 My Cowboys freaking choked tonight. The second I saw Jennifer Simpson was in the stadium watching Tony I knew he would choke. Just like the game with Carrie ...Underwood (i think..) DAMN IT!!! Now, I'm trapped. My sister is watching some reality show, my nephew has another t.v. tied up with video games, my niece is watching american girl or something and I can't watch the 8:00 game!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to get home.

My sis is doing good but boy, her #2 drain is filling up fast. We've had to empty them 6 times so far today cuz of it.

Oh and....tonight, after the EAGLES game...it was homework time. After a little bit when the kids were running and screaming through the house, I said....shouldn't you guys be helping your mom and dad do your homework??

Good grief.

Love you ladies.

Traci

ps It is freezing up here. Literally. It's like 20 outside. burrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hello Everyone,

Well I'm back.

Our electricity went out around 11:15 Monday night and we didnt get it back until Friday around 2 am.  I went and stayed with some friends.  I have a gas cookstove but didn't want to risk gasing myself out.  I toughed it out Tuesday night but by Wednesday it was around 50 in my house and my nose and head were getting cold.

I've been busy since I came back home.

I had chemo last friday (before the ice storm) and got my Nuelasta shot on Monday before the ice storm started.

I was glad I felt better by Monday since it was cold and we lost electricity.

There are still some areas around here that still don't have electricity.  Some places might not get it back until after the first of the year.

I'll have scans again Wednesday, pray the tumors have shrunk.  Chemo again after Christmas  on the 29th.

My nephew gets married on the 30th.  Not sure if I'll go to the wedding or not.

OK  I'll try and be better about keeping everyone updated on what's going on.

Hugs girls,

CindyKS

Cindy, what timing on the power outage!  We went without power for a week two years ago October.  My son was 18 months old, and it was a real challenge, especially because we were on a well then, so no power means no water!  We gave up after a day and managed to find a (crappy) motel (not easy when everyone else is in the same boat) and ultimately drove four hours to my mom's house.

Virginia, your warm shining personality really comes through!  Your sis also looks like the rock she is.  Isn't family great when they really come through for you?  I don't know what I'd be doing without them. 

Mandy, I'm so jealous that you are off for the holidays already ... and until the 7th!  That's wonderful, and I'm sure that you'll be appreciating them in a whole new light this year.

Thankfully I will be hearing some news about the mass on my hip before Christmas.  I met with the breast surgeon yesterday.  She was not terribly encouraging, but could not definitively say until I get an MRI (that's scheduled for tomorrow afternoon).  After the consult, I decided I needed an orthopedic oncologist, even if it's benign (due to the increasing pain, I would have it removed regardless).  I found a reputable one in DC that will see me on Thursday.  He will read the MRI and tell me the next step.  Please send all your good thoughts, energy, and prayers this way for good results on Thursday!!!

CindyKS- okay, you win - your weather is definitely worse than ours.  What a krappy storm - like you need that on top of everything else.  Sounds like you're doing okay wiht this chemo - still keeping you in my thoughts.  Hope you go to your nephew's wedding on the 30th!

Lar - I have been keeping you in my thoughts and will continue to do so - sending you good energy/prayers. (You too CindyKS)  Please let us know how it goes tomorrow - although you likely won't get told anything tomorrow will you?  It sounds like you'll know on Thursday.  Take care of yourself.

Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Mandy

There was an article in a food journal today that said that Chocolate might be a cure for cancer...antioxidants...yaddah yaddah yaddah.

I just wanted you all to know, that if you stop hearing from me, it's because I drowned in a giant vat of dark chocolate...

Happy hump day!

Virginia

oh yea...did I even tell y'all about Debbi? She's doing really good. She got two of the four drains out today. She and her husband and their spoiled little children are driving down to Florida for Christmas. I can't believe she's going to make the trip but....it will be our first Christmas without Dad. My other sis Denise is coming in from Dallas too. Anyway, just wanted to let y'all know Debbi is okie dokie.

Hey Virginia,

I'm doing o.k. So far, I hate my reconstructed boobs but....my ps tells me to stay calm and wait.

I'm getting fat again. I think it's depression from the outcome of my implants and....I'm hating life with a rooommate, my house has never been so messy... and...I miss being self employed and having money and...I miss my hair.....and I miss having a love life and.....blah, blah, blah.

I'm doing good!

Love ya girl. I hope with all of my heart that we all actually plan and do a get together. I think everybody but me has kids so when is a good time for you mommies to get away????

Hugs, Traci

Traci, the love is mutual.   You all make my day more than you know.  I'm sorry the implants haven't shaped up yet....doesn't it take a while for everything to sort itself out?  The hair and the love life will come in their own time, I'm sure.  And pls give hugs to your sis, glad things are going well.

re: get together - how about somewhere warm in Feb or March? And I don't have kidlies either, so am free.  Also, personally, am wondering why there aren't free cancer retreats in Hawaii - what's up with that?!  If anyone deserves to go, we do! 

Virginia -  chocolate is what is getting me through these days....eeks, my weight....

Let's see, the emotional dam broke today - could I talk about it Monday with my shrink?  No, Monday I was fine, Ms. "I Can Cope With  My Mom's Dx Just Watch Me" and yet today, with the ALLERGIST I couldn't stop crying.  Go figure.  I just sat there in this doctor's office, doctors and nurses that I don't know, who'd never met me before, and couldn't stop crying.  The kind where the tears just roll down your face and won't stop.  It was finally so ridiculous that I told the nurse why (shock at mom's dx) and she sat there and cried with me...  Grief is such a sneaky little $%^*.

I think also, I am so so over going to see drs and seeing a new doc and having sinus pain pushed me over the edge a little... Dr. Allergist called for a sinus C/T but we're waiting on ins. approval. 

And then the other extreme this afternoon, at work (we sell indie crafts) i was helping a customer, a GUY, and as he was picking out jewelry I just automatically told him where the mirrors were in case he wanted to try anything on.....at which point he looked at me a little funny, and said "Umm...I'm picking these out for my wife, but thanks"....and I had to step into a different room because I was laughing so hard, I couldn't believe I'd said that...and it's bad form to laugh at a customer...it was just that I'd been saying the same lines all day, for all those last minute shoppers.  Ah well, 'tis the season.  He bought a lot in the end though.

So all in all, a rather bumpy day, one emotional extreme to the other.  Have to laugh or cry, or laugh to keep from crying.  

Also, I'm officially NOT menopausal by hormone blood tests, yet the hot flashes keep going on and on and on....and no period since April.  Aaargh.

Plus, apparently I'm an intermediate metabolizer of tamoxifen (meaning I sort of metabolize it, sort of not), and my doc is sitting on some steering committee for US Oncology trying to figure out what to do with women like me.  So starting tamoxifen again is on hold for now. 

Liz - how are you?

Mandy, so good to see you posting again!

LeeAnne, miss you.  I think it's probably a great sign that you're not posting, that normal life is just swallowing you up.

MtnMama - maybe the hip is just a benign tumor?  That does happen.  Fingers crossed.  Scary stuff though, don't blame you for waiting to look at the CD with the doc.  Let us know how it goes.

CindyKS -  let us know how it goes!

All, have a good night!

xoxo 

Evening ladies,

Traci - Good to hear from you - glad your sister is doing so well.  I'll bet it will be a difficult Christmas without your Dad - it's great that your family is still so close.  I echo what others have said - you have an exceptionally warma nd caring personality and although I hate that you've had to do the whole bc thing - I am glad that you started chemo with us in the May group!  (This is true for all you ladies!)  AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HATE CHOCOLATE?  I can't even dignify that with a response!    In my world, chocolate is a food group...can't wait to get this gall bladder out so I can have some again (although I do have a chocolate every day - just over the course of several hours).  Sorry to hear that you're kind of depressed - it's a tough time of year in a lot of ways - we can't help but be reflective of the past year and yours has certainly been challenging and included lots of loss.  I hope 2008 is going to be a wonderful year for all of us...my motto is "life is great in 2008!"

Virginia - you and I could have some problems if there is only a little chocolate left on the table.....oh what the hell, it's Christmas - I'll share!  I am with you - Christmas is nuts!  All I'm doing with my week off to myself is shop my guts out and run around...well enough of that!  Tomorrow, after radiation, I am going to have a coffee with a friend, then I am going for a massage in the afternoon - then maybe even to a movie by myself!  Tomorrow night is my son's Christmas Concert - last one as he goes into junior high school next year and they don't have concerts anymore - so this means I will cry my eyes out.  I do every single year, but this is the last one...sniff sniff.  This "day off" I'm taking means that the weekend will be crazy but my husband can drag his butt to the mall and brave the crowds too! 

Lar - I've thought about you today and wondered how you were doing - I'll be thinking even more about you tomorrow and really hope to log on and see some happy, happy news from you!  Sending good thoughts and positive energy to you...you too CindyKS!

Well, the tub is calling my name (I can hear it!)  Have a wonderful evening ladies - talk to you tomorrow! 

By the way - if you would like to do a get together in the great white north - I'd love to have you all come and visit here in Edmonton - think about it!

Mandy 

Hey it's good to see everyone posting!  I miss you guys when you're away, but am glad that we're all so busy with our lives. 

Traci, I'm sorry you're still not happy with the implants.  I think mine look a lot like yours, but maybe I am easyr to please in this department.  I'm just glad they smaller than the originals.  I'm actually going through a mourning process already because I'm so afraid they're going to get fried by the radiation--if I can decide to go through with it.  I keep thinking, why did I go through the months of pain of expanders if I was just going to need radiation anyway?  For me this has been the worst part of my treatment. Someone could have mentioned it before I got those stupid expanders put in, don't ya think?  I'm really actually pretty pissed right now about the whole situation and I don't know what I'm going to do.  I have appointments with onc and surgeon this week so maybe that will help me decide.  

Hi LeeAnne, I like your card! It's very life affirming. HI Amanda and Mandy (still feeling good?) and Lar and Virginia (great pic, I'm jealous of your hair, mine is awful!) and CindyKS--how'd those scans go??? 

Hey everybody.

LeeAnne, the card is awesome. I would say "you look great with no hair" but....everytime somebody tells me my 1/2 inch of hair looks "so cute"....I want to scream! Seriously though, I love the card.

Amanda, I'm so sorry you were so upset. I know what you mean though....when those tears sneak up on you, it's hard to get them to stop. How sweet is that nurse though who sat down and cried with you. That almost made me cry!

It's a quick check in for me. I am headed to my mom's to help finish up but, I just had to tell you guys the drama in my life today!!!

My stepmonster...the women my father was married to...told Debbi today who is driving down for Christmas from Atlanta, that she could not stay in her (my dad's) house on Friday or Saturday because she wasn't going to be there!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!! I bet my dad is rolling over in his grave!! When he was well, they traveled all the time and they always invited one of us to stay in their house to "get away" and take care of the cat.  What, now that my dad is gone, we can't be trusted in HER house? This makes me so mad I don't even want to go over there for Christmas. GAWD.........that B*!#% ! Oh, I guess I should also mention that a few months before my dad passed away, his will was changed to leave the surviving spouse all assets. When that surviving spouse passes, the assets are to be divided amongst the heirs. My dad was a millionaire. Most of my siblings were surprised but I really wasn't. He never "gave" us anything when he was alive and... he married my stepmonster the day after his divorce to my mom was final when I was 11.

k....I'm done. I feel better now! I'll check in later, or definetely tomorrow to see how everybody is doing.

Love y'all!!!

Traci

 LOL!!!

Thanks Gals.  I feel a little better about the rads after talking to my onc today and tomorrow I will talk to surgeon who will no doubt tell me I DON'T need it just to confuse me even more.  But I think I can get my mind around it in the next couple weeks. 

I am scared about my hair.  My onc said he was surprised I even lost my hair after taxotere and now I'm afraid it's going to stay thin.  It came back really thick after A/C was over for about a month and it's been over a month since the taxotere stopped.  I've read about other women having permanently thin hair from taxotere, though it seems rare.  Maybe it's growing slower because it's winter???  I'll hope for that.

Traci, I totally understand your frustration.  I had a stepmonster too and that's all I'm going to say in a public forum about that.

LAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  BIG SNOOPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!

That's awesome.  Your nerves must be shot!!  GREAT news...thanks for telling us!!

Virginia 

Thank you so much, Virginia and Mandy.  I tell you, I was so beat last night from the long drive back (DC rush hour added a lot of time and stress), all I wanted to do was crawl into bed.  But I wanted to drop in here briefly to give the good news, because I know how much we can worry ... even when it's not even someone we know.

I really had so little hope going in it was a lipoma.  It was a case of a little bit of information being dangerous.  Armed with a radiologist report of the ultrasound and Google, I determined that a lipoma was very unlikely. 

Learned from Google (one of the med sites) Lipomas...

Are small [0.4 in. to 1.2 in.] and felt just under the skin.  .... uhhh, nope, 3+ inchesAre movable and have a soft, rubbery consistency.  .... slightly moveable, not too softDo not cause pain.  .... except for the pain shooting up my butt and down my leg, I guess notRemain the same size over years or grow very slowly.  ... I had a massage in April and the massage therapist didn't say a thing.

And the ultrasound report said "Appears consistent with the surrounding musculature" ... not fat (as the ortho onc says of the MRI).

So it was a real live scare.  So let that be a lesson to all of us.  Reports aren't always gospel, and although we can get lots of good info on the web, it doesn't beat a doctor looking at ALL the facts and assessing the situation.

So enough about me....

LeeAnne, I love the card.  And I agree with Traci you look great (and also agree that I mostly hate when people comment on how good I look with no/short hair ... of course it usually depends upon how sincere I think they are, and I am definitely sincere in this one!

Liz, I hope you feel better about going forward with the rads.  And I know you wouldn't want to go through it, but the implants ARE replaceable if you are not happy with what rads may do to them.

Amanda, how's your mom doing ... and how are you holding up?  It's hard enough to deal with our parents being vulnerable, but then to have it hit so close to home with your own traumas (i.e. cancer treatments) it must be doubly emotional for you.

Liz, you might talk to your doc about Rogaine.  I heard that it can "wake-up" hair follicles that might have become dormant due to chemo.

Off to catch up on my lost week!