need a little prayer or two

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iodine
iodine Member Posts: 4,289
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
need a little prayer or two
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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited December 2007

    for my dh.  He survied prostate cancer 18 mos ago with a major surgery and last Christmas was dx'd with larynx ca.  Survived rads thru last Feb and finally got over the pain in his throat about last July.

    Well his PSA, the test for prostate ca has been slowly increasing and he told me today that it's at 0.2 and that 2 urologists have recommened that that's the time to start rads.

    He had a colonoscopy today, after his doc and I begging him for a couple of years: 2 polyps removed and he's good for 3-5 more years.

    He's to see a rad onc tomorrow, I don't particulary like him, he did dh's neck, and is local, which dh likes.  He used to be with the local hosp and still does one day a week there, he's loved by all, so wants to treat here. 

    Anyway, I've been pretty calm over the last 18 mos, confident that he's going to be ok.  I am not so confident that this is the time to start rads on the prostate.

    He declines to see a onc/urologist suggested by my onc, who I admire greatly, but we all have to have our own choices.  I'm just really fearful of local rads, He had a Really, Really painful time with his neck/throat.

    His father did rads for prostate and then got bladder ca. insitu because of rads and had to have his bladder removed.  I'm not excited about any of this and am really starting to get worried.

    I'm posting tonight because dh JUST TOLD me tonight!! Dammit.

    I do not like suprises.

    Anyway, I just needed to vent this before I told the adult kids.  I have promised them I'd Never keep them out of the loop again.  That's what I did with my bc (oh, everything is going great!)  and we lost the opportunity to care for one another during a rough time for all.

    Thanks for listening.

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  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 2,570
    edited December 2007

    Dottie, I am sorry that you and your husband have this tough situation to get through.  BTW, my husband would have told me last minute too.  

    I am praying for you and your hubby for the best results possible for this procedure. i hope all goes well.

    celia 

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  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 405
    edited December 2007

    Dottie I will be praying for you both. If it's any consolation my DH would have done the same thing. I of course, dragged him through every second of MY treatment though lol.

    I will be keeping good thoughts that the treatment isn't too harsh and that it does the trick xoxo

    Erica

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  • VickiTN
    VickiTN Member Posts: 361
    edited December 2007

    Dottie,

    I am so sorry...I'll definitely keep your husband and you in my prayers....praying that all goes well with the rads.

    I'm glad that you're going to keep the adult kids in the loop...you don't need to carry this fear and worry alone...

    love and hugs,

    vicki

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Dotti:  I am so sorry to hear that your DH and you are going through another round.  Just sending a big hug your way and hoping that the treatment this time will be easier.

    You can come here and vent any old time.

    Nicki

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  • susanmcm
    susanmcm Member Posts: 1,324
    edited December 2007

    Hi Dottie,

    I'm so sorry that all this is going on in your life.  I'd rather have something wrong with me than with DH.  Prayers, hugs and blessings for you and your hubby.

    susan

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited December 2007

    This AM, dh tells me he's just goint to just run by the rad doc asking for  information  about the prostate, the appt is really for his follow on his throat.  Grrrrr, wish he'd clarified that last night! 

    Could have used the sleep I lost.

    So--thank you all for your prayers, I think we still need them, if for nothing else to keep me from hitting him up side the head for not keeping me in the loop.

    So--I cannot tell how bad this is yet, and what ever else he's thinking of.

    Men!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Oh, Dotti, you and your dh have been through ENOUGH!  Men can absolutely be so darned hardheaded!  I know cuz I'm married to one!

    One of my brothers had his prostate removed.  I have another brother who will be going through rads.  I don't understand it all, but there's some that's called "seed" rads.  I may have the spelling wrong...I'm just relaying the "sound" of the word my brother told me about.  Anyway, I believe he's having that PLUS "regular" rads because the other alone is not enough for his stage (or whatever).

    He's starting in January.

    My brother is almost 64 years old and is caring for a seven year old daughter and a four year old son...their not his biological children, but his name is on the birth certificate.  The mother has given into drugs, etc.  He's a bit concerned about how this will affect him and the care of the children.

    Dotti, if you have any insight into how this will affect my brother please let me know.  And know I WILL be praying for you and your husband.  And, if YOU want to go to the docs with the stubborn man you just tell him and GO!  LOL  (easier said than done).

    Hugs,

    Shirley

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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited December 2007

    Dotti -

    Hon, I am so sory this has re-entered your lives - of course you will be on my prayer list! And I'm even adding on there a plea that your DH releases his stubborness for just long enough to go give a listen to the urologic oncologist that has been recommended, What can listening to options hurt? I know, we understand, but he'd probably feel disloyal or something.

    my hopes for you both,

    Lisa

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  • sheshe48
    sheshe48 Member Posts: 338
    edited December 2007

    I'll keep you both in my prayers, you have been through so much.

    Lots of hugs

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Dotti,

    Im not sure how I missed your post last night but just now saw it!!!

    Im sorry you and your hubby are going through this....

    Let us know what we can do to help if you need...

    Hugs

    Jule

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  • Binney4
    Binney4 Member Posts: 8,609
    edited December 2007

    You betcha I'll be praying for you both, Dotti.

    This makes me wonder how much of my decision-making with my bc treatment made my DH crazy, but he kept it to himself and let me make the decisions I was comfortable with. In some ways it's harder to be the care-giver, yes?

    (((((Hugs))))) and prayers,

    Binney 

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited December 2007

    Dotti, I hope this all turns out well and you are both in my prayers

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited March 2008



    Add me to the list who will definitely say a prayer or two or three for your DH and you and your children.



    You have had a lot of stress of late, and I'm going to pray that DH does just fine, and that his RadOnc seems a little more charitable and open to your families needs.



    In September, 2007 my husband's gastroenterologist scheduled his colonoscopy for December 24th! (Saying too booked). We're talking + family history here, so I just knew polyps would be biopsied. I nixed that in no uncertain terms so I wouldn't be hanging out in stress everland over the holidays. My husband could never just understand why I nixed that date. Men!!!!



    Keep us posted Dottie!

    Tender

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  • sahalie
    sahalie Member Posts: 2,147
    edited December 2007

    Dotti,

    You are the dearest sweetest person and I'm sorry to hear you and your dh have to go through this next journey.  It's good you have one another.

    Men can be such babies when it comes to their own health and going to the doctors.  My dh was the same way. 

    I'm sending you a big hug Dotti

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Oh Dotti...You all have had enough with the cancer already! Crap. I've already said a prayer.

    Hang in their, my friend....

    ~Marin

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  • TerryNY
    TerryNY Member Posts: 603
    edited December 2007

    Keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Dottie! 

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  • lexi4
    lexi4 Member Posts: 1,074
    edited December 2007

    Hey Dottie,

    Prayers for your dh that the tx goes well with little side effects. I am sorry that he is dealing with this. Can't cancer give us a break!

    Hugs and Prayers,

    Lexi

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited December 2007

    Thanks Ya'll.  It means a lot to have some place to come for comfort and vent----as we all know.

    Well, rad doc will be happy to give rads any time dh is ready.  Feels this is a good PSA score to start rads for recurrance  BUT, of course, wants him to schedule an appt and get more deeply into it.  LOL

    DH and I had a head to head today, well as much as one can when having a duel with volume controls on the TV.  (don't want to talk, increase the volume---LOL)

    He's decided to wait till his next blood work, PSA, in 3 mos and see where he stands.  Sounds great to me.

    He gave no response to my begging him to see a real urological onc.    I have discussed all with my dd and will call upon both kids to help me get him to an onc when the time comes.

    I know these urologists are his buddies, but if finally gets to a point where one has to bite the bullet and find an oncologist. IMO.

    Thanks again.  As Bette Davis said: "Fasten your seatbelts, we're in for a bumpy ride!"

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  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited December 2007

    Thinking of you and your DH, Dotti.

    Men ! Aren't they just something else Laughing

    I really cannot understand the way their minds work (or don't work!!)

    My own DH got me all in a frazzle yesterday. He had to go for an endoscopy. Got me all cleaned up, in my best bib and tucker, on the road early, and know what ?? when we got there he was just one week early, I could have chopped his legs off !! He kept hold of his appointment letter, told me I didn't need to see it, he had it all in hand, and what do you know, he was wrong!!

    I don't think men never really manage without direction !!!!

    I made him pay for lunch in a non too cheap restaurant, and he'll be buying next week too, when we go to the correct appointmentLaughing

    Don't you just love 'em ???

    Isabella.

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  • Blundin2005
    Blundin2005 Member Posts: 1,167
    edited December 2007

    Oh Dottie!



    You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry to hear of this path for you both.



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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited December 2007

    Dotti,

    I just saw this thread.  I'm so sorry that your husband is going through this.   My family has a strong history of prostate cancer, so I know the fear that comes from seeing a PSA level increase and I understand, a bit anyway, the complicated issues surrounding treatment.  Here's hoping that your husband's PSA level is down when the next test is done in 3 months.

    (((Hugs))) to you!

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  • JoanofArdmore
    JoanofArdmore Member Posts: 1,012
    edited December 2007

    Dear Dottie,

    I'm sending prayers.Please keep us in the loop.We'll be hoping for good news, and will hold your hand through the waiting.

    Incidentally, my best friend's husband was dx w/PC last spring.And a scan showed bladder cancer starting too.

    There were successful bladder rads, and total prostatectomy.And lots of Lupron shots.

    Next there was a PSA which was doublng every couple of weeks.????????????????????????????????????

    The surgeon said the number was from leftovers.

    I didnt buy that, so Ginny hollered.

    Mucho safari-ing, and now, more Lupron, and 39 rads.

    It had spread to the pelvis unnoticed.

    This boggles my mind!

    I cant IMAGINE a woman having surgery and HT, only to have the (tumor markers) rise and the medicos FINALLY realize there is cancer someplace else! 

    I know from myself, and from reading here that the docs are NOT gentle with us--they hit us with every treatment around (thank God).

    I think it's a case of men being more delicate, and docs being men all buy into the men's theory of "Oh, it's nothing.No big deal"!

    Apparantly the gentle "It's nothing" approach works often.But when it doesnt, someone has to make a scene, as my friend did (directed by moi of course).

    Again, Dottie, prayers for a fast and happy end to the cancer!

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  • ilenee
    ilenee Member Posts: 120
    edited December 2007

    Dottie,

    Thats terrible that lighting strikes twice! I will be praying for both of you.God bless you,

    Ilene

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  • ilenee
    ilenee Member Posts: 120
    edited December 2007

    Dottie,

    Thats terrible that lighting strikes twice! I will be praying for both of you.God bless you,

    Ilene

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  • Sierra
    Sierra Member Posts: 1,638
    edited December 2007

    Hi Dottie:



    I am very sorry to read this

    and that you have such a huge

    plate to carry



    Take good care



    and



    as always

    sending out very special

    thoughts for both of YOU









    Blessings,

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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited December 2007

    Fingers crossed and prayers that things go okay!

    Don't you feel like if it isn't one thing it is another?

    Janis

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited December 2007

    Thanks, Guys, Yep, as Gilda Radner said: It's always Something!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Dotti,



    Sorry to hear of the news, but know you and your hubby are in my thoughts and prayers :-)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Dotti...I can understand something of what your husband must be facing when he considers using a buddy as his urologist. I think I'd be very reluctant having a girl I go clubbing with as my gyno, checking out my VaJayJay and all Embarassed. That would be just too weird! Can he find a recent recruit to your area to check him out?

    PS - I love your description of the "head-to-head" with the TV remote and all!

    ~Marin

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