Tips for handling stress while waiting for test results

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phoenix54
phoenix54 Member Posts: 223
edited June 2014 in Waiting for Test Results

HI everyone

i thought this might be a good thread. I have been struggling with waking in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. the brain gets going and i am done. or.... i wake in the morning and find i am in a panic until i can get a hold of myself, breathe, get up and calm myself. finally went to the doctor today and got a script for Ativan sublinguals. i am going to take one at bedtime tonight and hope i sleep. i feel its extra hard to cope when i am over tired



any other suggestions on managing the stress of waiting for test results.....



wishing you all B9 results



Barb

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  • golfer779
    golfer779 Member Posts: 1,378
    edited December 2007

    Phoenix54 - I find that .5mg of Lorazepam works wonders.  I don't wake up groggy, but I get good sleep.  The body must heal with rest and relaxation, I have also tried some tapes from a friend with some breathing exercises.  Never had a problem in my life with sleep until now, used to be a glass of wine with dinner and lights out by about 9:00 -- Carol

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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited December 2007

    Hi Barb - I'm having to wait over the weekend for tumor markers that were drawn on Thursday in response to something funky that showed up on a CT scan of my pelvis and lumbar spine. So I'll be waiting alongside you. I'm also friends with Ativan in circumstances such as this. Wink I take one at bedtime and I agree, we all handle stress better when well-rested. I have two new good books waiting for my attentions and looking forward to those helps me not obsess over what the results may be. I'm going to start my Christmas decorating tomorrow and that is a wonderful distraction.

    Also, I'm learning to convince myself that the blood is drawn - my worrying will not change anything. I have a positive feeling about it and have given the task of taking care of the details to God. No, I'm not perfect at this yet (thus the Ativan Undecided), but I keep practicing.

    Good luck on your results. Should you hear on Monday?

    Lisa

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  • phoenix54
    phoenix54 Member Posts: 223
    edited December 2007

    Hey Lisa

    i agree, books are a good distraction. what are you looking forward to reading?

    Barb

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  • Kaydee
    Kaydee Member Posts: 11
    edited December 2007

    Well at least we are up together.... I havn't had a good night sleep in a long time.  Its past 1 and I am still up.  I have a two nightmares about my boobs.  One time my boob was actually attacking me!!  I'm afraid to take meds for fear that I won't wake up if my baby needs me.  Playing with my little one is my best stress relever.  Reading seems to be helping too.  I like the smut mags.... They are just mindless reading, thats all I need right now.  Good luck to you all!! 

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  • chemo072
    chemo072 Member Posts: 682
    edited December 2007

    soduko and clonazepam :)

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  • debbbyb
    debbbyb Member Posts: 39
    edited December 2007

    Hi:

    this is my first time here. I am 43 and just diagnosed Monday Nov. 25th, 2007. OK as I write this I am understanding why I am still sooo numb. I Can not feel acting totally normal and when I talk about it I feel as tho I am talking about someone else. My 3 sisters and mom are having a hard time my youngest sister havng a really bad time called to have her first mammogram. She is 40. Well today she got called back for a sonogram.  Now everyone is freaking because of me.  ME I am still not computing any no crying NOTHING. I am glad because I know once i break it is gonna be hard to put humpty to gether again.  

    Right now what I know is I have stage one (nodes not biopsied yet) invasive infiltrated ductual.  I can not sleep at night and that is when my mind relly goes. UGGH

    I just want to understand why I feel nothing and keep talking about this as if it is not me

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  • phoenix54
    phoenix54 Member Posts: 223
    edited December 2007

    I was awake again last nite and popped back the ativan under the tongue. it still took an hour to work but then i slept like a baby and feel much better this morning.



    hmmm why do we say slept like a baby - as all the babies i know never slept well... :)



    hugs to all of us waiting - its been 5 days so far and i guess another week to go. i hope i hear by this Friday......



    debbie - i think you are dissociating - where you are outside your body looking in and it all feels surreal. i keep wondering if they made a mistake.... is that denial???

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  • chemo072
    chemo072 Member Posts: 682
    edited December 2007

    debbib - a) numb is totally normal, as is crying continuously - there's a whole gamut of normal, consider yourself hugged (if that helps) and b) my cancer center counselors told me that women who process all those emotions as they go along do better in the long run - less shellshocked perhaps when they come out of treatment, better able to get on and enjoy life etc.  so if you do have a chance for those feelings to come up and get out, sit with it, stay with it, don't drown them out, let the feelings come - and this is from me, ms. crisis-mode-I-can-handle-it-all herself.  I've been the queen of distancing and numb for a very long time.  One foot in front of the other - except when it's me, when it's MY body, it's damn scary.  I think I cried every day for a long time.

    and phoenix54, yay- you slept!!  healing bodies need sleep and all the strength they can get.

    Oh, and one thing that really helped me when first diagnosed, every day I went on "go" mode all day and dealt with what came, and I did everything I could, and when I lay down at night, I "gave it up to god" - not to sound overly religious or preachy, but at night, I just had to let go of it all, give it up to a higher power and go ahead and feel like a little kid who had someone to take care of me and relax and sleep and let it all go.  And that conscious letting go helped me a lot. 

    best wishes women!  you can do this.  it does suck though. 

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited December 2007

    Some people find distraction helps. I couldn't imagine doing anything enjoyable, but I was able to do some things I hated.



    (I may have a non-breast problem that may take years to diagnose.)



    Some people find meditation or relaxation helps. I'm planning on going to a psychologist to see if biofeedback helps. Apparently most people can learn in like 6-12 sessions. (Knowing me I'll probably need more.)



    I just started an antidepressant yesterday. My GP was surprisingly open to this.



    Better living through chemistry.

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  • debbbyb
    debbbyb Member Posts: 39
    edited December 2007

    Thanks for your response.  I know that I am handling this strangely.  I do not really think it is denial.  I have not had the node biopsy yet and right now it just might be that one spot.  I wish I could cry, but i am really afraid once i start I will not stop.  The thing that is sooo upseting to me right now is watching my parents go through this ( they are good in front of me but I know).  I would die if it was one of my boys!!!!  I was told this only this past Monday.  and on Friday my sister got a call that her mam was questionable.  That would be just horrible if it is both of us!!!!!!!!! but i guess it is denial with little bits of reality.  Sometimes it comes int the form of feeling like I have been hit in the stomach.  This friday coming is the node biop. I also had Brach analysis because of the jewish component ( I fall into the oskinozzi catagory.  and I have no idea how it is spelt)

    My spot is 1 cm.  Amy are you stage II because you had positve nodes.  I am new to the lingo.  Did you have a right masectomy??

    deb

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  • Lauren564
    Lauren564 Member Posts: 5
    edited December 2007

    http://tinyurl.com/yt7yxv

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  • angelaw
    angelaw Member Posts: 44
    edited December 2007

    LAUREN564 IS AN ADVERTISMENT. SHAME ON YOU FOR POSTING HERE.  HOPE WHAT HAS HAPPENDED TO US NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU.

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  • chemo072
    chemo072 Member Posts: 682
    edited December 2007

    Deb2 - I had a right mastectomy because there was extensive DCIS wrapped around my IDC.  + spots of DCIS other places in the breast.  I was told that having chemo prior to surgery could shrink the IDC but that it wouldn't get the DCIS, that that had to be cut out, and because there were multiple spots....I looked at the MRI all lit up across the breast with the surgeon and it was just obvious that mastectomy was the only rational choice.  Otherwise they would have had to scoop flesh out of several spots out of my breast and I would have been left deformed without the right to reconstruction.  (My plastic surgeon told me that with lumpectomy there is not the legislated right to reconstruction that mastectomy has.)  So I was terrified and sad to lose my breast, and hoping not to have chemo, so I did the mastectomy first.

    The mastectomy surgery included a sentinel node biopsy, and indeed cancer was found in 1 node.  1 bastard node.  Plus it burst - extranodal extension.  Hence all the hassle of chemo and radiation.

    If I had had just IDC and NO DCIS, I would have gone for chemo first, with the hope of preserving the breast.  And then lumpectomy + sentinel node biopsy.

    Not having a breast is a painful hassle.  And I haven't gone the reconstruction route because I just had rads and have to wait 6 months.  Women who have had what I had but were able to have lumpectomies, and then had chemo and rads - they're done with treatment now.  And I still have reconstruction to go, which is no easy path.

    Oh, also, at first I was told the IDC was 3 cm (it looked that way on screening) + DCIS was 5 cm.  It turned out that the IDC itself was 1.9 cm, and with 1 node, that put me into the stage 2 category. 

    Sorry for the small tome!  Hope I answered your question.

    Also, re: freaking out - I worry and wonder before I have info. because I think that question generation process is really important - we have a family theory that it's the question that we don't ask that will get us - hope that made sense! - but I don't really cross the freaking-out bridge until I have the data in hand that indeed I will need to cross that bridge. 

    One thing you might consider is to get the BRCA genetic testing process going, because if you end up BRCA positive that may (or may not) sway you to go the mastectomy route.  

    Personally, I think the least invasive surgery the better.  The body is never the same afterwards.

    Big hugs to you,  and to your sister - hope her's turns out b9!!

    Let us know how things go! 

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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited December 2007

    Hi Barb -

    Glad you had a good night's sleep! My books are actually three, but only two authors. Innocent I am half-way through The Meaning of Night by Michael Cox, and then will move on to  both Amsterdam and Atonement by Ian McEwan. I had planned on Amsterdam first (winner of the Booker Prize), but have now been informed that Atonement has been made into "a major motion picture" so I'll read that first before my concept of it gets polluted.

    debbyb - Your initial reaction of a stunned non-reaction is not at all uncommon. Every cancer experience is different, every woman is differerent, - no surprise that our responses would vary from hysteria to stoicism. And you are processing it - you say at night is when your mind really goes and you can't sleep, and that sometimes you feel like you've been kicked in the stomach. You are just processing it in a way that you can handl right now. Maybe in a week, after the nodes have been checked, you'll be in a different place. Maybe in a month, someplace else entirely. It's all normal. There are no rules.

    When you say you had Brach analysis, did you mean BRCA analysis for the gene mutation? If so, I am very glad. Having breast cancer occur before menopause, especially in one from an Ashkenazi Jewish background is highly suggestive of a BRCA genetic link. However, since you post that your tumor is estrogen receptor positive, that is one thing in your favor. Most BRCA tumors are est. negative.

    You say your tumor is 1cm. Did they do a complete lumpectomy already? Like an excisional biopsy? Did they get clear margins? Have you seen your pathology report?

    Best of luck to your sister for her ultrasound. Usually if that confirms suspicion from a mammogram, they'll either biopsy right there, or at least schedule one. If not, she'll be a free woman.Laughing

    Hoping for good things for you both -

    Lisa

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  • Curlylocks
    Curlylocks Member Posts: 1,060
    edited December 2007

    Hi Ladies.... 

    <>

    I am 43 and a 2 year survivor of idc, 4 cm tumour with 3 positive lymph nodes. 

    This journey is so tough emotionally and physically.  Digesting the news is handled so differently by everyone.  Our families suffer just as much as we do if not worse as they "want to take it all away" and make things better.  I found myself telling my parents and sisters/brother not to treat me any differently that I wasnt going to break and that we would get through this together!

    Hearing the words "you have cancer" has changed my life forever, I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.  I am no longer have a carefree attitude about my health or life.  I cherish my husband, family, friends even more than I ever have, they were my "rocks" in getting through a very difficult road of treatment, lumpectomy, 6 months of chemo, radiation and then hormonal treatments. 

    The first days, weeks and months following my diagnosis I cried alot, wondered why this happened to me so young with no family history of bc, was angry, constantly thought about cancer and that I was going to die.I would not dare think long term with respect to the future. 

    Crying is good for you and also very normal and healthy through this process.  I ended up having to go on a antidrepressant 1 month prior to the end of chemo as my system went into overloaded and I was not sleeping or processing any of this in a healthy way. I am still on an antidepressant but I find it keeps me on an even keel.

    I tried to keep busy and had the cleanest house in town while I was awaiting all my test results.  Reading a good book also helped.

    Deb - a big hug to you my friend, once you have a treatment plan in place you will feel a little more in control of your life.  It does get easier with each day, think "baby steps", one day at a time.  If you are having problems sleeping "ativan" does take the edge off and will allow you to sleep.  Dont worry about having to take meds right now to get through this hardest part, sleep is really important to your overall wellbeing.

    Dont look at the overall picture especially when you start to think about treatment.  It takes the better part of a year of your life but the tradeoff is awesome, being brought back to a healthy person once again! 

    I'm crossing my fingers that your sister's results are beign.

    I still find it hard to believe sometimes that I am a breast cancer survivor.  It is so hard to accept and being numb right now is your body's way of slowly digesting all this.....

    Life now is good and relatively "normal", I dont think about cancer constantly and enjoy life's fun moments... 

     Barb - I hope that you get good news on your test results this week.

    Have a good night's sleep ladies and stay warm!

    Michele 

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  • phoenix54
    phoenix54 Member Posts: 223
    edited December 2007

    i feel like i am losing my mind over all this. i alternate between feeling this is not happening to me .... to feeling like i can't go on one more minute with not knowing. and scared...... and trying not to cry.... or panic..... ativan again...... ???



    i have a big week at work ahead and don't know how i can go on normally and do my job... it is all overwhelming..... i hope once i get there and get going i will be able to focus and do it. i facilitate groups and it is day 1 of a 2 week program.... yikes!



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  • phoenix54
    phoenix54 Member Posts: 223
    edited December 2007

    i got my results this afternoon - one week of waiting - good for BC health care system

    and it is B9 - no cancer found. now just for the D & C and i can move on -

    YIPPEE!!!!



    good luck to everyone still waiting for results and praying for B9 results for you too



    Barb

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