How do you handle Fear?

I'm sorry this is surrounding you. It's overwhelming like you said. I wish nothing but the best for you, and some answers quickly.

That's one thing I do: I push myself to push, in a nice way. I explain my fear, how it's dragging me down, and urge them, the nurses and doctors to try to help me by pushing the medical aspect along. Of course, now you're seeing new doctors and nurses: here too though, just say what you said to us and let them know how it's posing a problem. If you don't tell them of the fear and depression, and seem relaxed, etc.. will they know?

Then too, more quiet time (with four sons, maybe some help), alone or with spouse; more sleep to let the mind have downtime, and quality sleep, using an anxiety fighting pill like Ativan. In a high enough dosage, and during the day too if needed. These anti-anxiety drugs work, and work very well.

Perhaps we need to re-awaken the medical professionals and public on the anxiety posed by breast cancer. No "just a walk in the park" attitude (remember that one?), no platitudes like it's all in your head, or you really don't mean those side effects, no you'll live to be a hundred so we'll just not talk about Stage IV.

Sisters and Brothers, the more open we are with our doctors and nurses, our families, our friends about the chronicity of the stress, the better they may comprehend and interact, react, push the medical system for timely answers in an appropriate manner.

It just might help save your life by letting you get to how your really feeling. Inner = Outer = Greater Harmony = Better Immune Function?

All the best to you this week. I truly will keep you close in my thoughts.

Tender 

At first, I was terrified and thought about this dx almost every minute of every day.  Ativan helped me sleep but I had and still have nightmares about someone trying to kill me.  Well, I realized I couldn't just go on like that.  I began to talk to people about my fears, distract myself, get as much information as I could, ask questions, joined a support group, etc. until I just about wore myself out.  Now I'm at a point that I trust my doctors and I'm doing what they tell me.  That's all I can do and I'll either live or I won't.  I have my bad, meltdown hours every few weeks but generally I'm OK trying to squeeze the sweetness out of every day.  I  keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I will be thinking of you on this bumpy road.

Depression happens when you get all gared up to act and then do nothing. It happens when you feel that any action is useless so you just sit and do nothing. It's a vicious cycle. Start by moving your body, get plenty of sleep and exercise, Walking is great. Then concentrate on doing things that give you a sense of control. Try cleaning up a closet or reorganzing a corner of your house. Don't try to do the whole thing or you'll get frustrated. Concentrate on accomplishing a task that you can look back on and feel good about. Also, knowlege gives you a sennse of empowermont. Find out everything you can about your situationand what the lates treatments are.Knowlege about your treatment will give you hope. It take a while to learn so give yourself time. Once you start on a treatment regimen, you'll feel much better. Finally, give yourself a break. Sometimes you'll just feel like crap. Give yourself permission to feel what you are going to feel. You shouldn't pressure yourself to be positive all the time.

I hope this helps.

-j 

PS. I'm scared too. 

Some day I'm scared, some days I'm terrified and some days I just put one foot in front of the other and do what I have to.  I was in denial in the beginning big time and I think it helped me get through the surgury and the first three rounds of chemo, then it really hit CANCER I have cancer, now it's real and each treatment was like going to the dentist something you have to do because your a grown up now.  Another way to deal with the fear is to have a support system a sister, cousin, friend, and this board, this board is amazing I keep saying that, but real courage is in this board and it gives me strength and I rely on it more and more. I hope you enjoyed your wine and had a good sleep. I really hope that you'll be okay no matter the outcome.  Pearl